done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
I had to leave my job at the frozen orange juice factory. I couldn't concentrate.
Puns
- Thread starter Ask For More
- Start date
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred.
Pantyboy74
Flirty not Dirty.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2017
- Posts
- 11,914
An intelligent blonde, Santa clause and a nice lawyer fall from the top of the empire states building.
Who hits the ground first.
None, they dont exist.
Who hits the ground first.
None, they dont exist.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
The obstetricians seem to celebrate labor day every day.
Pantyboy74
Flirty not Dirty.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2017
- Posts
- 11,914
Two doctors in practice in a small country clinic had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit.
They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her.
She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.
"Why, we just hired her?"
"Well, I think she is dyslexic and get thing backward. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 hour, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him.
I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours and she gave her twelve in one hour."
The doctor had barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
"To see Nurse Nancy, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"*
They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her.
She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.
"Why, we just hired her?"
"Well, I think she is dyslexic and get thing backward. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 hour, but she gave him 24 shots in two hours and it almost killed him.
I told her to give Mrs. Jones an enema every twelve hours and she gave her twelve in one hour."
The doctor had barely finished his reasons when the other doctor rushed out of the room.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" the doctor asked.
"To see Nurse Nancy, I just instructed her to prick Mr. Hill's Boil!"*
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2013
- Posts
- 83,922
If you refuse to go to sleep you are resisting a rest.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation were dozing off.
After the service, she walked up to a very sleepy-looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one, ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!"
After the service, she walked up to a very sleepy-looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one, ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!"
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2013
- Posts
- 83,922
If you die during an orgasm, you’re coming and going at the same time.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
She comes from a long line of slow check out operators.
Ask For More
Mystery Man
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2000
- Posts
- 15,877
I can't think of a joke, should I be pun-ished?
Pantyboy74
Flirty not Dirty.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2017
- Posts
- 11,914
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb.
Two but I dont know how they get in.
Two but I dont know how they get in.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
What type of person finds it humorous to shower while wearing a raincoat?
Apparently someone with a dry sense of humor!
Apparently someone with a dry sense of humor!
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2013
- Posts
- 83,922
Two robbers with clubs went golfing, but they didn't play the fairway.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
Circling vultures are a dead giveaway.
Ask For More
Mystery Man
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2000
- Posts
- 15,877
Carrion with the puns!
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
Driving on so many turnpikes was taking its toll.
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
If you refuse to go to sleep...
Does that mean you're resisting a rest?
Does that mean you're resisting a rest?
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
Don’t run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out, or worse yet, get kilt!
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2013
- Posts
- 83,922
If you move a church organ from one church to another is that an organ transplant?
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
it!Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
angelofthenorth
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2017
- Posts
- 12,947
I sold my telescopes to a friend, i needed the space
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
Eating breakfast in front of the TV at the same time every day turns the meal into a serial.
