COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

What Made You Smile/Laugh Today?

Status
Not open for further replies.
BiaTcHiNFiRe said:
I got a job!!! Starting tomorrow woohoo!!!! :D


Its not a full time job, I will work there just as help when they need me (hope they will need me A LOT lol), but still, it will SOOOOOOO HELP!!!! :eek:

Love my lucky days. :heart:
Click to expand...

Awesome!!!! That's so great. I hope they need you to work a lot!
 
A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want,

I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask.

Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.



A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.


She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'



More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her....


'You want....... Garlic Chicken wif snow pea?
 
BiaTcHiNFiRe said:
I got a job!!! Starting tomorrow woohoo!!!! :D


Its not a full time job, I will work there just as help when they need me (hope they will need me A LOT lol), but still, it will SOOOOOOO HELP!!!! :eek:

Love my lucky days. :heart:
Click to expand...

GZ
Well done pet!:rose:
 
Last night I was talking to one of the crew members about my past trip to and future trip to Dublin as well as other kind of girl talk things. This girl just happens to be the American born child of two Irish imigrants, and we just tend to relate well.

At one point she looks up at me and says "You sounded so Irish just then. Reminded me of my mother".

I girnned and blushed. *giggles*

Then came the debate of when and if I get Irish citizenship, would I be an American Irishwoman, or Irish American? *giggles*
 
BiaTcHiNFiRe said:
I got a job!!! Starting tomorrow woohoo!!!! :D


Its not a full time job, I will work there just as help when they need me (hope they will need me A LOT lol), but still, it will SOOOOOOO HELP!!!! :eek:

Love my lucky days. :heart:
Click to expand...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! Well done Kate!!

WriterDom said:
A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.
He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

'My darring,' he whispers, 'I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want,

I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You juss ask.

Whatchu want?' he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.



A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request.


She eventually shyly whispers back, 'I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls... Numbaa 69.'



More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her....


'You want....... Garlic Chicken wif snow pea?
Click to expand...

Rofl.
 
Keroin said:
Your support means the world to Chuck and me, SW. People on this board can be so intolerant.
Click to expand...

It's like my grandmother always used to say, "If someone wants to get fucked by a penguin and slapped senseless, more power to them. I remember that time in the sixties when penguin love was all the rage, Robert Redford was President and music was legal currency."

She was a bit senile, admittedly.
 
MisterSir said:
It's like my grandmother always used to say, "If someone wants to get fucked by a penguin and slapped senseless, more power to them. I remember that time in the sixties when penguin love was all the rage, Robert Redford was President and music was legal currency."

She was a bit senile, admittedly.
Click to expand...

I think I might know her. Did she once have a little stall on the side of the road where she sold macrame hats for jack-o-lanterns and really good window pane acid?

(Robert Redford wasn't president??)
 
Ode To Spot

Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature;
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.

I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predilection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.

A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents,
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance.
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.

Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array;
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
 
A DEA agent, together with an ATF and an FBI agent, as part of a task force, arrive at a ranch in western Texas. The agents tell the rancher, "We need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The DEA agent verbally explodes saying, "Mister, we have the authority of the Federal Government with us." Reaching into his rear pocket and removing his badge, the agent proudly displays it to the farmer. "See this badge? This badge means we are allowed to go wherever we wish on any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.



Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the three agents running for their lives and close behind is the rancher's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the agents. They are clearly terrified.

The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....



"Your badges! Show him your badges!"
 
Homburg said:
A DEA agent, together with an ATF and an FBI agent, as part of a task force, arrive at a ranch in western Texas. The agents tell the rancher, "We need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The old rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there."

The DEA agent verbally explodes saying, "Mister, we have the authority of the Federal Government with us." Reaching into his rear pocket and removing his badge, the agent proudly displays it to the farmer. "See this badge? This badge means we are allowed to go wherever we wish on any land. No questions asked nor answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.



Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the three agents running for their lives and close behind is the rancher's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the agents. They are clearly terrified.

The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....



"Your badges! Show him your badges!"
Click to expand...

Great, now who's going to clean up all the pee that joke caused?

Just for that, I'm stealing it and claiming it as my own. Hi-larious!
 
Thinking about the fact that even though Master felt like crap last night, he took the time to call and talk to his pet :cattail:
 
-"I've met the new girl, she's sweet. But she's not you." - that comment from one of my students. :D

-Books, books and ahhh books.

-Him.:rose: Being happy and secure, not feeling twitchy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

XerXesXu
What I Wrote and Why: God Made Me.
2
Replies
30
Views
587
KeithD
KeithD
N
More aggressive marketing may be needed – to “drive home” what I offer you,
Replies
0
Views
154
needle_seeker
N
D
Does this story opening hold you?
Replies
15
Views
341
darkride
D
Rightguide
Why You Can't Trust The Legacy Media
Replies
12
Views
208
IrezumiKiss
IrezumiKiss
StillStunned
What I Wrote and Why: Ben's Big Mistake
Replies
10
Views
273
VerbalAbuse
V
Back
Top