Question for the ladies...

Hipshot1554 said:

It must be someone you feel comfortable with, taking the lead?

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Well, I'm comfortable with him, more then anyone else. But it's just not in his personality to take an aggressive role. Just as I'd never ask him to fuck a guy, cause that's not who he is.

MarriedMelissa said:

I will say this - the married men I have been with, have done things with me they have told me "their wives will not do"

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Care to elaborate?

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Amarriedmomof3 said:

If my husband and someone he knew devised some plan to have him meet me and ultimately sleep with me I think myself I might be into it with the right controls. I think, in the wrong situation, she cries rape and he ruins what was maybe boring but stable as a lover, partner and confidant. I think what many posted here is true- many women would do different things than they otherwise would do. I have done things over the last few years outside of marriage that surprise even me. But I am not the norm. I think men that claim to be able to turn their conservative wife into some cock craving slut are more for show and less for substance. I take those words with a grain of salt.

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Has your husband ever hinted that he would be turned on by sharing you with another man? If he did would you be immediately keen, or would you make him talk you into it? Would you ever consider discreetly questioning him to see how he feels about the idea?

I was wild and relatively aggressive with one man, and completely submissive with another. It depends on the person and how you read what they need.

I have some flexibility in my sexuality, despite being mostly submissive, so I will say the sex as a more submissive partner is what I love to my core. However, I would think it a little strange and suspect sex to be an unsuccessful endeavor were you to treat sex the exact same way with everyone, and also every time you have sex. I'm submissive, but I don't always do the same things. Reading the person is how I've experienced the best sex.

As I cannot speak for all women, I can say this:

I feel more inclined to fantasize about doing things with someone else (wild, dirty things) that I wouldn't necessarily run, skip and hop to doing with my boyfriend of 5 years. Not to say our sex life is dull-quite the opposite actually.
However, everyone has their inhibitions and their limits. When it comes to sex, I'm all for it. The rougher and kinkier, the better.
Although my boyfriend and I have rough, passionate sex, it isn't quite like the sex I was used to having with exes. There lies the limits and inhibitions of my boyfriend. It's all about how comfortable you are with breaching those limits, and if your partner is willing to explore different things with you.
When I was single, I had some of the greatest, unattached, submissive/dominant sex, and my partner at the time and I enjoyed every minute of it. We would do things that now my boyfriend asks why I won't try with him.

In a nutshell, I don't think I'd enjoy it as much. A lot of great sex derives from "heat of the moment" thrills. And as much as I love my boyfriend, I don't think "re-enacting" a scenario I've experienced previously, would do the trick.

And since fantasies have no limits, anything goes

Also, I too have been told I do what a lot of the guys I was with, said their girlfriends wouldn't do for them, nor could dream of asking them to.


So it's all how you feel with the person, and how far you are willing to travel with them towards ecstasy

Anomaly1964 said:

I have been talking to someone about my wife, and no, I don't talk trash about her, I do love her...

That said, this person said that if they were to seduce my wife that she would be more likely to do things with them that she will not do with me because of what she feels my expectations of her are vs. someone new, that she would not want to say NO to some of the things she says NO to me about because she would be trying to please or impress them, that they could train her to be and do more with them than me because it would be a fresh start...

They feel they could train my very conservative wife to be a woman that craves and wants sex all the time because that would make the new person happy and because the expectations were set up and she was trained that way...

So ladies, do you feel this to be true? Could someone new turn you into a TOTALLY different woman than you are at home?

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I do not agree, there are things I might do with a complete stranger, but I would rather do them with the one that I share everything with. However, you need to let her know that you will respect her no matter what!

Denalinn said:

I do not agree, there are things I might do with a complete stranger, but I would rather do them with the one that I share everything with. However, you need to let her know that you will respect her no matter what!

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It is all about trust and respect.
She has to know that the next morning she is just as loved as the night before

personally yes.....leaving aside the fact ive worked as an escort.......when i was married,it was more making love with my hubby,as opposed to a dirty fuck with a stranger.
i get a hot kick out of random sex with strangers,thought of some married cock rammed up me.......like a whore........but when i was married we never really went wild.......although we did do some swinging.......wasnt the same though.

I think there are two different factors at play.

First there is variety and the fact that we have different connections with different people whether we are having sex or playing Yahtzee. So yes I am different with lovers than I am with my husband and vice versa, but I would not say that it is more adventurous. I think we all crave what we don't have so he may see what I do with other men as something he wants but I think that is strictly a "grass is greener" dynamic. Objectively, the things I do with my husband are every bit as exciting as what I do with my lovers - the only difference is what fits with the various personalities.

Second is the judgment factor. Men have fairly sensitive egos and a need to see their wives in a certain light. Most women have had the experience of a bf pressing them to do something only to find the guy behaving like an asshole later because she had the audacity to enjoy it. Look at how many contributors who are into wife sharing end their comments with the claim that they are still her best lover - true or not it is a certainty that she knows he needs to hear that and she may some day have to lie to him to maintain that expectation. Usually when a guy has asked me to reveal my deepest desires he has something in mind already - how many comments on here are from guys saying I want my wife to open up and do X, without considering that maybe she wants Y. The "other" man may be able to get her to open up more simply because she doesn't care what he thinks and she doesn't have to deal with him sulking for a week if she turns out to be more than he can handle. A husband can help a woman to open up as much and even more so than a stranger but only if he is truly open and able to accept what is inside Pandora's box - very few are.

The only thing the "other" man has is the inability to make her life miserable for being honest. A husband who can give her that plus a loving safe environment is the best of all worlds.

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Denalinn said:

I do not agree, there are things I might do with a complete stranger, but I would rather do them with the one that I share everything with. However, you need to let her know that you will respect her no matter what!

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Exactly! And it is a rare man who can respect her no matter what afterwards.

Reminds me of a scene in "Analyze That" when DeNiro (playing a mobster of course) is talking to his shrink Billy Crystal about his girlfriend. The shrink asks about why he has a gf if he loves his wife so much and DeNiro answers "are you kidding, she kisses my kids with that mouth."

The point being guys tend to see women in terms of what they want them to be - wife, whore or something in between - rather than whole people who can be all of the above. In this silly example DeNiro's wife (who I don't think actually appear in the movie) knows for a fact that her husband could never accept aspects of her sexuality that don't conform to his expectations. So she can either suppress that or explore it with someone else - going there with her husband isn't even a consideration.

Most women - even those who explicitly accept their husband's kinky desires - are in this situation.

Anomaly1964 said:

I have been talking to someone about my wife, and no, I don't talk trash about her, I do love her...

That said, this person said that if they were to seduce my wife that she would be more likely to do things with them that she will not do with me because of what she feels my expectations of her are vs. someone new, that she would not want to say NO to some of the things she says NO to me about because she would be trying to please or impress them, that they could train her to be and do more with them than me because it would be a fresh start...

They feel they could train my very conservative wife to be a woman that craves and wants sex all the time because that would make the new person happy and because the expectations were set up and she was trained that way...

So ladies, do you feel this to be true? Could someone new turn you into a TOTALLY different woman than you are at home?

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Yes i agree, My hubby Abid wanted me to do things i could never even during the early years of our marriage. Due to my reluctance our sex life had become bland and my hubby stopped showing the same enthusiasm in the bed room. However my sister who is very intimate with me advised me and my hubby to change our style of living, that is she counselled us to get nude during daytime and be just like normal people,she suggested that we start with reducing our clothes to the maximum. we agreed and gave a chance to my sister's advice and lo we felt good though a little embarasing initially .Then onwards we slowly , particularly me started to enjoy whatever my hubby demanded from me, while making love.Now we have shed our inhibitions to such extent that ours and my sister's family join with us during week ends and we go nude together and do things which i could never imagine a few years before of doing. now we are a very very happy couple, Shahida wife of Abid