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Good morning Sticky!

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful and thorough response!

I couldn't agree more with much of what you've said, especially as it pertains to the father.

I'll have to let this all sink in a bit before knowing what a good next steps will be but I really appreciate your input and the resources you suggested.

Cheers!
 
stickygirl said:
Thanks PA. I think there's more than one type of courage: there's the courage of soldiers under fire, who could just keep their head down but charge instead. Then there's jumping from a burning building courage, which is my type.

I speak up here because I want people to know the majority of trans women just want to be regular women - they don't want to be the object of fetishism. I can't pretend that objectification goes on and I can't erase what is a turn-on to many men. I am a sexual person, same as everyone else but I'm in my final year at Uni so I just don't have time for a bf (or gf) right now - that happens to regular people as well!! Hopefully a few guys will read through, so that when they do meet a trans* they can have an alternative, three-dimensional idea of where we're coming from and be a real friend the morning after as well.:rose:
Click to expand...

And a lot of respect for you from me for doing this, its a brave, soul exposing project, and I hope it works and people start to look at trans women with respect rather than as fetish icons:kiss::rose:
 
Thanks Silky.
For sure, I want people to see the bigger picture, but I don't want to come across on Lit as being a Puritan or rapping people on the knuckles because they find trans women hot, because that just gets people's backs up ( I hope that expression works in the US as well? ). TBH for the last few months I haven't felt especially horny and it's partly because of old personal conflicts, being dog-tired with my degree course and, with my surgery on my mind, I don't really want to get into a relationship right now.

Some trans women choose not to have bottom surgery and that's fine: there are plenty of reasons both for and against and it's up to the individual the make that decision. Those that decide against have to resolve their gender ID with what's between their legs: they remain sexual people and have to get out there and have sex by whatever means, but that shouldn't make them a walking fetish. I know that's not what you meant at all - quite the reverse, but I think it's important to understand how we become regarded as fetish. Fantasies grow from from pure imagination or from porn videos ( same thing ) because the fact is most people don't know any trans women - there aren't many of us around. It's like film stars: people fantasize about... Kristen Stewart or Jennifer Aniston because they are similarly inaccessible. Isn't that a type of fetish too and just as questionable? But men will still whack-off looking at pictures of film stars. The real problem I have with shemale porn is that it is so fucking degrading and the women so two-dimensional - hence people assume all 'shemales' are nymphomaniac sex-machines.

I'm not blind to men on Lit who play cyber-shemales because they have a testosterone-fuelled kink - if they call themselves T-gurls or something obviously sissy that's fine, but if they headline themselves as transsexuals or transgender then I have little patience. La-di-fucking-da.:rolleyes:
 
stickygirl said:
Thanks Silky.
For sure, I want people to see the bigger picture, but I don't want to come across on Lit as being a Puritan or rapping people on the knuckles because they find trans women hot, because that just gets people's backs up ( I hope that expression works in the US as well? ). TBH for the last few months I haven't felt especially horny and it's partly because of old personal conflicts, being dog-tired with my degree course and, with my surgery on my mind, I don't really want to get into a relationship right now.

Some trans women choose not to have bottom surgery and that's fine: there are plenty of reasons both for and against and it's up to the individual the make that decision. Those that decide against have to resolve their gender ID with what's between their legs: they remain sexual people and have to get out there and have sex by whatever means, but that shouldn't make them a walking fetish. I know that's not what you meant at all - quite the reverse, but I think it's important to understand how we become regarded as fetish. Fantasies grow from from pure imagination or from porn videos ( same thing ) because the fact is most people don't know any trans women - there aren't many of us around. It's like film stars: people fantasize about... Kristen Stewart or Jennifer Aniston because they are similarly inaccessible. Isn't that a type of fetish too and just as questionable? But men will still whack-off looking at pictures of film stars. The real problem I have with shemale porn is that it is so fucking degrading and the women so two-dimensional - hence people assume all 'shemales' are nymphomaniac sex-machines.

I'm not blind to men on Lit who play cyber-shemales because they have a testosterone-fuelled kink - if they call themselves T-gurls or something obviously sissy that's fine, but if they headline themselves as transsexuals or transgender then I have little patience. La-di-fucking-da.:rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Well said Sticky!!! Plus a big hug, because you could probably use one. I promise not to grope you!! (This time!!!)
 
stickygirl said:
I think it's important to understand how we become regarded as fetish. Fantasies grow from from pure imagination or from porn videos ( same thing ) because the fact is most people don't know any trans women - there aren't many of us around. It's like film stars: people fantasize about... Kristen Stewart or Jennifer Aniston because they are similarly inaccessible. Isn't that a type of fetish too and just as questionable? But men will still whack-off looking at pictures of film stars. The real problem I have with shemale porn is that it is so fucking degrading and the women so two-dimensional - hence people assume all 'shemales' are nymphomaniac sex-machines.
Click to expand...
It's like any sort of porn, I guess. Made-by-men lesbian porn, BBC porn, shemale porn - it's all based on and reinforces stereotyped views which bear little or no relation to the realities lived by lesbians, people of colour or transwomen. This is why it's important to see and hear the reality so that people can be educated that the fantasy is not the reality. I thank you, SG, for taking the time to reach out and inform people, myself included.

Best wishes in the new year for your studies and upcoming confirmation surgery. :heart:
 
Thanks both :rose:
Yea well - fantasy is a good thing so long as it has a sprinkling of reality to keep one foot on the ground.

I have a question for a change: what is the equivalent gland/organ to the prostate in a cis-woman? You know - like I'm assuming the testes are ovaries, the penis is the clitoris but what the hell does the prostate become in a woman? I may have to ask my professor friend, unless someone has the answer?

Aha! Google is amazing: I suppose I should have known this but I'm not a fan of poking around in male anatomy. Here's the Wiki answer:
The Skene's glands are homologous with the prostate gland in males.[7] The fluid that emerges during sex, female ejaculation, has a composition somewhat similar to the fluid generated in males by the prostate gland,[8][9] containing biochemical markers of sexual function like human urinary protein 1[10] and the enzyme PDE5 where women without the gland had lower concentrations.[11] When examined with electron microscopy, both glands show similar secretory structures,[12] and both act similarly in terms of prostate-specific antigen and prostatic acid phosphatase studies.[13][14][15][16] Because they are increasingly perceived as merely different versions of the same gland, some researchers are moving away from the name Skene's gland and are referring to it instead as the female prostate.[17]

Well obviously I've got one and I hope the surgeon can plumb it in somewhere :-\
It's all too weird, especially before supper :cool:
 
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stickygirl said:
Because they are increasingly perceived as merely different versions of the same gland, some researchers are moving away from the name Skene's gland and are referring to it instead as the female prostate.
Click to expand...

No questions today, just an observation.

Isn't it wonderful to live in such an androcentric world. Not only were we created from Adam's rib now we have a female prostate.

Not that I expect much more from the male dominated medical world. The number one cause of death for us is heart disease, we're more than half the worlds population but we don't have the same heart attack symptoms as men do, so our symptoms are called non-typical, go figure. Symptoms that aren't even taught in most medical schools!
 
Dyslexicea said:
No questions today, just an observation.

Isn't it wonderful to live in such an androcentric world. Not only were we created from Adam's rib now we have a female prostate.

Not that I expect much more from the male dominated medical world. The number one cause of death for us is heart disease, we're more than half the worlds population but we don't have the same heart attack symptoms as men do, so our symptoms are called non-typical, go figure. Symptoms that aren't even taught in most medical schools!
Click to expand...
Hmm... yet all my lady bits are going to be fashioned from my male toolkit ( pun intended! ) which is quite handy but you can't deny the irony. I don't know Dys, from my perspective I just see us all as simply flesh and blood: what we make of it is own own affair. There are times I feel too overwhelmed that I can't fight every fight I know deserves my support. Will you do the fighting for me till I can catchup?
I wasn't aware of the different female symptoms so I'll go check that
 
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Happy New Year

No questions really.

Just a quick thanks for sharing your insights here - personally, and as someone who understands the difference between fantasy and reality, I have a great deal of admiration for people like yourself who have the courage to maintain your convictions.

Perhaps what you write here will give others the strength to follow their own path as well.

Plus it's always a delight to come across your posts on some of the other threads.

Happy New Year!!
 
Happy new year sticky and everyone else :rose:

Here's to a 2014 that allows you to regain some of your sanity, to de-stress and to maybe finding that silly guy who is looking for his woman in the wrong place. :D
 
wombat9966 said:
Happy new year sticky and everyone else :rose:

Here's to a 2014 that allows you to regain some of your sanity, to de-stress and to maybe finding that silly guy who is looking for his woman in the wrong place. :D
Click to expand...
Well said Wombatt!!!
 
Thank you so much *gulps*
I'll be taking that good energy and passing it right on to people I love - here's some back to share around :heart:
Sticks xxxx
Make it a great year
 
Actually? Fat. It's kicking and I think it has an independent heartbeat. Bleah but happy.
 
a little over 7 hours till this year ends for us here just getting ready to order some Chinese food. my wife picked up some California roles for one of my sons of which I am sure I will have some. I prefer the sashimi myself but now willing to part with $20 for the good stuff.
 
Dyslexicea said:
Isn't it wonderful to live in such an androcentric world. Not only were we created from Adam's rib now we have a female prostate.

Not that I expect much more from the male dominated medical world.
Click to expand...
One could probably argue that since babies are female by default it should be the other way around.

Happy New Year SG :heart: and everyone else!
 
Happy..

Happy New Year to all......and Sticky, I hope 2014 will be the year all your dreams come true! :heart:
 
The practical feminist

I had gf stay over the hols and we talked a bit about feminism, with me taking the role of angry new-born woman and her the cis-practical real world woman.
We both agreed that walking down a street showing too much flesh, wearing night-club make up was inadvisable if you want to avoid attention from men.

So I'm sort of wondering 'what's the point of pen-pushing feminism, when in the real world, we all dress and act to avoid trouble?'.

Any thoughts and comments would be welcome...
 
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stickygirl said:
I had gf stay over the hols and we talked a bit about feminism, with me taking the role of angry new-born woman and her the cis-practical real world woman.
We both agreed that walking down a street showing too much flesh, wearing night-club make up was inadvisable if you want to avoid attention from men. She kinda agreed that a woman isn't 'asking for it' if she was raped as a result of dressing that way, but said she could understand the men getting the wrong idea.

So I'm sort of wondering 'what's the point of pen-pushing feminism, when in the real world, we all dress and act to avoid trouble?'.

Any thoughts and comments would be welcome...
Click to expand...

Whether male, or female, we all dress and act in a way to avoid trouble, I don't think that has anything really to do with feminism, its part of being a member of society.
What is acceptable to wear when at a nightclub, isn't necessary acceptable to wear when picking up the kids from nursery, but I have seen that happen, and the strongest reaction against it was from other women.
What is acceptable to wear in a gay club, crotchless chaps for example, would certainly get an adverse reaction if worn at the supermarket.

A way a women or man dresses is no excuse, for them to molested or raped and that is without question. In reality I do not actually think that occurs more than rarely.
I think it s a way a person will behave especially under the influence of alcohol and drugs, that can unfortunately lead to sex that is not consensual, or is thought of as non consensual by one of the participants afterwards, this can often be the case when people have sobered up and realised what they have done, especially if married or in a relationship. Whether male or female we both have a responsibility to ensure the signals we give off can not be misinterpreted.

Personally I avoid taking anyone to bed when I have been drinking or if they are under the influence of drugs or are drunk.
 
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