Prisms and perception; my reality.

Hours later waking sleepily, disorientated her eyes widened at the realization of where she was. A few seconds to indulge and savor the moments in the betwixt and between that were hers alone before she slipped from beneath the covers to smooth out the sheets effectively erasing her very presence between them. Her sad eyes scanned the room which would soon be no more, he was leaving to join the friends that had gone elsewhere.

She hated goodbyes...

A softly whispered, " Que. Sera Sera," and she was gone, back to her own small corner of lit, leaving fragrant rose petals scattered over the floor and the bed in which she had just lain to rest.

For some reason, this made me think of you.

xOxCherryxOx said:

For some reason, this made me think of you.

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Hah! I wonder why! I needed the laugh, thank you doll.

My gift to you...

I had chosen the concept of my gift with thoughtful care. I wanted him to receive the present of his hearts desire this christmas. With the magic of this realm he would receive such a gift.

The beautifully wrapped box contained an exquisite red rose with a single thorn. Also contained within the box also was a hand written instruction.

I could not turn back time or revoke death. The magic of the rose could evoke a memory, a dream sequence, even provide the trappings for a sensual evening with a special someone. It could also bring forth an x-box, clothing, a new toy; pretty much any material thing big enough to hold between two hands.

It could bring healing of the heart and soul if one believed.

Character Concept

Name: Eric McDonnel
Age: 32
Height : 6'2"
Hair: Dark brown
Eyes: Light to dark brown depending on mood
Likes: Quiet, Fight Fighting, Animals, the outdoors, extreme situations
Dislikes: Disrespect, disrespect for civil service or military service men and women, people who don't know when to quit.

Eric was in a vocational program in New York with the NYFD as a recruitment program when the Taliban attacked the twin towers. He was splitting his time between core curriculum and fire fighter certification and advanced training. He had already passed his certification exams and as such went into the tower. It was not his first fire, but the magnitude of the scene shocked the 16 year old boy more than anything ever would.

Between the hours spent on overhaul, and the collapse of both towers, pulling out body after body he had changed and most would say not for the better. He became quiet, reserved, almost reclusive, he went from a popular, handsome ladies man to an island all to himself.

At the age of 18 he joined the air force and spent a tour of duty doing one of the hardest jobs in the harshest conditions a fire fighter had ever seen. By this time however the shell shock had become armor and everything rolled off of him. Not only did he leave with an honorable discharge, but with several commendations.

After returning home he found New York no longer appealed to him, whenever he looked at the skyline, all he saw was fire and death. All he could remember was how the fire had actually become tangible inside those buildings because of how jet fuel burns, it becomes almost like a stream of plasma. You can actually reach out and move it with your hands.

The nightmares returned when he returned home, so he left and never looked back.

It was easy to find a job in a smaller area with his expertise and record. He flew up the ranks and is one of the youngest men to be in line for a promotion to chief in history if a position opens up. Currently he fills his time as a Lt. in charge of a young crew . He enjoys training and sharing his knowledge, he routinely works them through extrication drills, repelling, water rescue, and wildfire tactics

There is little more in his life right now, he has not felt the need for anything else.

Name: Jason Givens
Age: 25
Hair: Black, short well kept black beard
Eyes : Ranging from green, to brown changing complete shades with his mood.
Likes : Music in all forms, though his music of choice is usually metal core. Reading, writing, debate, studying the human condition in all it's forms. Isolation when needed.
Dislikes: Large crowds, mind altering drugs (Taking them), bullying in any form, when people will not leave him alone once he has expressed his desire to extricate himself from a situation.

From a young age Jason was extremely smart and keenly observant. He is what people call an "old soul" possessing wisdom beyond his years, and an ability to read people's emotions to the point that it often puts some people off when he can state nearly verbatim their inner most thoughts. The younger of two boys he was often brawling with his brother as brothers usually do. It was the brawls with their parents that left a lasting mark on his soul.

At 12 years old having to back down his father from his mother, or at 8 when his mother burned him with cigarettes. His mental gifts allowed him to quickly navigate the turbulence of his home life, when to lay low and make himself scarce, and when to play peace maker. Suddenly the baby of the family became the glue that held that tilted, shattered bird house together.

He found refuge in band in fifth grade and dove head first into percussion. He had a natural gift for it as well, the first time he performed he knew he had found his passion, but it was not until he started playing different styles of music that he found out how addicting music was to him. His first solo jazz performance rocked him to the core of his being, and from then on the only time he was ever most alive was behind a drum kit, in front of a roaring crowd. He played every type of music he could get his hands on, from Bach, to Reggae, to speed metal. He often found work playing local venues with a few different projects he was working with.

Outside of this venue he pretends to be completely normal, small talk, jokes, the whole bit, but the entire time he feels like he wants to run from the world. Still, it had taken years from him to work his way out of his shell, and few things rattle him. The only time things usually do rattle him is when his own family is involved.

The whole lot of them argue, scream, and backstab each other at every turn and with him no longer playing peace maker things have become a war zone. He had separated himself from that toxic environment, but on the occasion they find a way to bring him back in, he becomes an entirely different person, a person he hates. The calm and even keel melt away and become a cauldron of roiling anger a bile for the years of mental and physical abuse, tied with the love he can't help but feel.

In his relationships he tends to find women who are broken, he is drawn to them as they are to him. For them he often wears his heart on his sleeve, wraps them in his arms and heals their scars, and once that is done they often move on. He has long since recognized this pattern, but can no more stop it, than he can sprout wings and fly.

Name: Timothy King
Age : 25
Height: 6’ 0”
Hair: Black
Eyes: Green
Likes: Self-reliance, discipline, family, things being orderly and in their proper place.
Dislikes: Posturing, violence against women, violent crime

Tim’s family was the victim of a home invasion gone horribly wrong when he was 15. He had always been protective of his little sister, so when he realized what was happening it didn’t take his parents instructions for him to stuff his sister into a closet, grab up a bat, and place himself on the other side of the door. As he heard the invader end his parent’s lives he waited for the intruder to make his way toward them.

Tim managed to beat the intruder to death with the bat, but in the process took a deep knife slash to the chest that nearly claimed his life. Since that moment he had become a different person. He and his sister went into the foster system together and when he was old enough, he pulled his sister out and raised her himself.

Ever since that point he had focused his efforts on never letting the people he cared about become victims again. He dove into the world of self defense and found himself soon teaching those classes as he was a quick learner and patient beyond endurance. The near death experience had left him focused, driven, and level headed. Very few things get under his skin, but when they do, it is like a bomb going off. He has a very strong core of ideals and detests violence in general, but will quickly react to violence against women with brutal efficiency.

Romantically he is a good match in most cases, except for those whom must have constant conflict in their love life. He simply will not engage in repeated conflict, and it takes a near act of God to get him pissed off enough to fly off the handle. He is much more responsive to honey, than vinegar, but if the person he is with is worth it, he will stick by them through damn near anything. Many of his old relationships have become life long friends. He is not the sort to give up easily.

Name: Robert Myres
Age: 23
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Likes: Intellectual people, complexity, puzzles, psychology.
Dislikes: Boring people, people with no depth, assholes

As a young child Robert realized his parents were broken. The revelation came to him during one of the many beatings he was receiving for seemingly no reason. He was an extremely smart, self aware child with an awareness of those around him as well. Gifted and cursed with the ability to read people it became a survival mechanism, and an island that left him isolated from people because most individuals simply had little to no complexity and left him with no desire to know them.

The beatings instead of grounding him into submission, hardened him emotionally and physically. He came into possession of a calm, stolid demeanor that rarely ever shook which served him well and only enhanced his powers of observation. Law enforcement could have been an easy choice, but it lacked the depth and complexity he desired, so he chose psychology. He wanted to enhance his knowledge of people, and what made them so fucking broken. Why did society keep churning out emotional dwarfs?

The answer quickly became obvious. Society was an expert at misdirection rather than self examination. Why look at the ugly picture of one’s own failings and pitfalls when you can ‘keep up with the kardashians”? Still he did not deviate from his path. Having achieved his goal, he picked a new one salving those that society had cast away. At least the broken ones were interesting. He did not feel the crushing isolation when working with someone who had lived with the same demons he did. Perhaps he could even share some of his discipline, and safe a few; or at least throw them a life raft.

Darker Musings.

It's been nearly a year. Trying to purge someone that vital to your very being from your life, from your thoughts is like hacking out a piece of your soul. I have been very unsuccessful at not thinking about her.

The vacuum she left when she exited my life was immeasurable. For someone like me, someone who lets people in slowly, in minute increments because of my trust issues letting someone in with no walls, no filters was the most terrifying thing in the world. Trusting someone enough to explain my inner workings and bare the darkest parts of my soul scared me in a way I cannot ever put into words.

To her credit she saw all the darkness, all the damage, all the unhealed scars and she did not run. I am forever thankful for that, and for the time that we shared, the tears we shared, the scars we earned together. We grew together as human beings

It tore me in half to let go, but I am a man of my word and told her that if things ever became unhealthy then I would let her go. I did not agree with how or why, but in her eyes it was time. However; a promise was made on that day out of the mutual love and respect we had for one another that if things ever got dark, so dark that one or the other could not see the forest through the trees we would be there for each other. What we built, what we suffered, what we shared ran too deep to ignore each other; or so I thought.

I reached out when the darkness was deepest and the silence was deafening.

If our paths cross again I will likely forgive you and you know that, but I will never trust you again.

*only here to leave adoration*

*Hugs tight for a much missed one*

Firmhanded_Daddy said:

*Hugs tight for a much missed one*

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*climbs FD like a tree* hey papi.

Luna_Wolf72 said:

*climbs FD like a tree* hey papi.

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*Snuggles in and grins* Hello beautiful Luna. I have missed the holy crap out of you. You know that right? I have passed on love through your twin from time to time, but I didn't want to be pushy.

Firmhanded_Daddy said:

*Snuggles in and grins* Hello beautiful Luna. I have missed the holy crap out of you. You know that right? I have passed on love through your twin from time to time, but I didn't want to be pushy.

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You are allowed to be pushy papi.

*settles on papi with a smile* Have not written a word in over 1.5 years...is pretty not happy making but i am finally on meds for bi-polar...so that's good.

Getting ready to go back to work. Miss you papi.

Luna_Wolf72 said:

You are allowed to be pushy papi.

*settles on papi with a smile* Have not written a word in over 1.5 years...is pretty not happy making but i am finally on meds for bi-polar...so that's good.

Getting ready to go back to work. Miss you papi.

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I will hold you to that, you know.

*Kisses her cheek with a delighted laugh and another fierce hug.* I seriously missed you. I am glad you are better. I have been getting better myself. Then I started getting worse again, but am starting to be on the mend again.

*Lets her settle. Running his hand up and down her back softly* I have been keeping up with some details. Like I said I have an insider. *Wiggles his brows, then nuzzles her neck*

This makes my god damn month. Thank you for coming to see me. I worry you know. Congrats on getting ready to go back. That is a huge victory.