Breathe!

Hi Sin. :)

First off, if you have recently lost someone, I'm sorry.

I really like that you are writing on a somewhat different topic than usual here. Your poem feels real to me and I especially think your ending is good--it conveys a sophisticated idea. There's a typo (it's breath, not breathe), and I think your title needs a subject to go with the verb "are," like We Are Grief. But you have some good, interesting ideas going on here and I know you welcome feedback, so I shared some. Just my opinion, of course. :rose:

Thanks a ton for the pointers and the typo! have corrected them asap! all critique and pointers are always most welcome and appreciated! as I have been doing a lot of practice writes off site :p heh cept when vodka decides it is my friend ........was for my grandmother a long time ago! Thank you though! ...someone was kind enough to point out that all the poems posted didn't have to be the same subject matter :)
 
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Tainted Toy

Tainted Toy


Dangle for me
my braided ropes
blighted by your desires

Play for me
my collared chains
adorn your corrosive name

Dance for me
my fevered whips
welted by your kiss

Touch for me
my vixen flesh
hued to your caress

Listen for me
my cries of ecstasy
wielded by your whims

Cater for me
my gentle lips
stilled upon your flesh

Forgive for me
my wanton kiss
tempered for your bliss

For I am sin
in all my glory
sainted as your tainted toy
 
Tainted Toy


Dangle for me
my braided ropes
blighted by your desires

Play for me
my collared chains
adorn your corrosive name

Dance for me
my fevered whips
welted by your kiss

Touch for me
my vixen flesh
hued to your caress

Listen for me
my cries of ecstasy
wielded by your whims

Cater for me
my gentle lips
stilled upon your flesh

Forgive for me
my wanton kiss
tempered for your bliss

For I am sin
in all my glory
sainted as your tainted toy


much much cleaner and concise writing.
 
For Our Shame

For Our Shame


We rage in war
Against our souls
A life of sin
Spent

Seated as the judge
Our crimes called out
Read as the bible
From the lips of god

Benched as the jury
In reflection of ourselves
Weighted against the world
Condemned

Held as the executioner
With right of means
The verdict sealed
Sheathed with blade

In the end
We bleed the same
Convicted by self
For our shame
 
Loves First Embrace

Loves First Embrace


See the tears upon they face
Woven from loves first embrace
The eyes of stone the darkened soul
Shield the heart and all it holds

Wounds scarred upon the soul
With such evil intention
Yet through it all we become
Dark enough to scorn the sun

Shadows line one by one
Pleading with your deception
Wrapped in stone barred in steel
Behind your walls of protection

Like a child you remain
Hiding behind your walls
Your masks and illusions
Just to hide from the reflection

Unnumbered nights you lay in confusion
Dreaming of your darkened illusion
With the power to take your life
But no will to sheath the knife

See the tears upon they face
Woven from loves first embrace
The eyes of stone the darkened soul
Shields the heart and all it holds
 
Sanity

Sanity

I can hear them in my head
Howling sounds of fear and dread
And I am what keeps them fed
A prisoner to what they have said

Tucked away they have me
In a little pocket of their own
A toy for there pleasure
Feeding on only what they’ve sown

Lost within some form of delusion
Yet you won’t hear me complain
In a world of my own confusion
Yet it’s my sanity that’s so profane

Tucked away I am
Within their own little hands
The louder they become
As I remain in their little dam

Speaking in words to cruel to hear
They compensate my mind
Building their walls …inserting their fear
Denying my soul time to unwind

Oh yes the have me
Trapped on there little vine
Held captive at will
Such protection I couldn’t decline
 
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Starving Me

Starving Me


Before you I stand
with a mere image in hand
A simple reflection of me
just as strong as any man

Tell me is this what you see
or can you look beyond
Through this image I hold
deep into my starving soul

Where there I lie
wounded and weak
Burdened by the secrets
and sorrows I keep

Buried and broken
in tears forever scorned
A mere wretched child
to afraid to speak

Or is this image in my hand
this feeble likeness of me
All you truly care to see
this image that’s starving me
 
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Death of Me


They called for me
my demons did
Their misguided child
their freak of fate

Taught me well
in shameful fear
Their evil adorned
as a female born

They set the stage
my path was clear
To crawl for them
in tainted tears

"Come little whore
kneel and bleed"
On virgin flesh
they did feed

On bended knees
I did crawl
Snapped as a whip
I took the fall

Broke my soul
in lustful need
Meant to subdue
the death of me
 
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On The Bay

Danced in desire
In the moonlit bay
Touched by the stars
They felt their way

Caressed and folded
On the soothing sands
Their bodies entwining
As their hands descend

Tempered in touches
Gentle and soft
Sublime and innocent
As their thoughts are lost

Panting and moaning
The waves making way
For the lustful morning
Playing on the bay
 
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Danced in desire
In the moonlit hesy
Touched by the stars
They felt their way

Caressed and folded
On the soothing sands
Their bodies entwining
As their hands descend

Tempered in touches
Gentle and soft
Sublime and innocent
As their thoughts are lost

Painting and moaning
The waves making way
For the lustful morning
Playing on the bay

a softer side sin, the melody of the write is nice and fits with the subhecr matter.
is painting supposed to be panting?

beach sex sounds cool in concept, but sand all that sand gets everywhere :D
 
a softer side sin, the melody of the write is nice and fits with the subhecr matter.
is painting supposed to be panting?

beach sex sounds cool in concept, but sand all that sand gets everywhere :D

heh yes even I have a softer side sir :p shhh don't tell no one kk its a secret! lololol

yes it was suppose to be panting ...thanks! fixed it!
 
Believe in You

Oh sweet surrender
Take me away to another place
Where broken dreams can be erased
Fill me with a tale of everlasting love

Play for me the sweet symphony
Sung by the angels on bended knees
With such loving pose and simple melody
As a verse carried through the winds of destiny

Where lovers love so free and true
A place where dreamers believe anew
Where faith withstands the test of time
Bound forever in a wishful song and rhyme

A tempered harmony of the heavens sung
Taken flight on the blessed wings of love
Catered to the sacred beating heart
As the souls bond in a passions tune

A blessed ballet of souls entwined
Wrapped in the arms of a sacred dove
Bathed in eternal loving bliss
Sealed with the sacred kiss

Oh sweet dreams
The song the angels sing so true
Hold me sincere in this masquerade
Permit me faith to believe in you
 
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Purifying Pain

Purifying Pain


So sensual this tiny flame
Dancing in union with my souls desire
Blazing sensations of lustful pain

Inspired by the power of its pose
Watching the flickering embers rise
Tempting seductions in my mind

Roaring fervor upon my hand
Trailing through cinders of sacred flame
Burning flesh and sin

Tempered in heated pain
Tantalizing emotions of surging command
Needed desires of its brazen ways

Stinging flesh and soul
Scorching in a firestorm my essence is claimed
Gratifying to the infernos begotten rage

My once porcelain skin
Now painted black with residue of ash
Where the fires kiss adorned my skin

As charcoal upon my flesh
Purged and cleansed through fire and flame
My tainted skin is caressed in pain

Tender to touch, to feel ...Sweet sincerity
In the sanctified power of the flame
To be blessed a new in purifying pain
 
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Poem change :p till I can fix it heh
 
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Erase Me

Erase Me


They say
Blood is thicker than water
I ask then
Where was the blood

When water
Did break
Unruly upon virtue
A vial of self hate

When water
Carved scorn
Ridiculed the heart
Of innocence torn

When water
Burnt flesh
On non existent
Child like breasts

When water
Instilled fears
Upon dreams
Hued in tears

When water
Broke feet
For the sound of a step
Disfigured and beat

When water
Tainted mind
Filled with contempt
Kept broken inside

When water
Bore sins
On virgin flesh
Distained for whims

When water
Tempted life
For pains of a soul
At the edge of a knife

I ask you
Where was the blood
When it took a stranger
To save you

They say
Time heals all wounds
I would call them
A liar

Not all blood
Is worthy to be
And even time
Could not erase me
 
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Your Final Breaking

Your Final Breaking


A precious gift
A gracious friend
Bestowed in secret
A vial of tainted sin

Freedom in a drink
Swallow it all
“That’s how it’s done”
As delirium comes

Poison in the mind
The narcotics win
You are the damned
As the demons spin

To the wrath of men
You’ve never known
At the cost
Of an absent friend

Condemned in darkness
An effigy of your soul
To face upon hatred
Your final breaking
 
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Meant to Please

Touch my mind
Reach deep inside
I’ll be the whore
You’ll never find

Nourish my heart
I’ll feed your desire
Neurotic temptations
I’ll walk the wire

Touch my soul
I give you the right
To take my body
I’ll never fight

Give me your need
I’ll bend a knee
Always and forever
Meant to please
 
A Lie

A Lie


Be still
My wanton heart
As I erase
Time

Be still
My timid mind
As I forget
And bind

Be still
My tainted soul
As a secret
To cry

Be still
My lustful body
As a whore
To die

When virtue is
Forgotten
And the brokenness
Survives

Stilled in silence
To expunge desire
As we live
A lie
 
In Fevered Rage

In Fevered Rage


Hands to tempt
The fate of a life
As lovers dance
The devils path

Gingered ties
Upon thy neck
The silken scarfs
Of lusting fear

The stolen breath
Bound to the precipice
Swaying to chance
In the edging of life

Stings of passion
To the neurotic soul
Sealed with a deadly kiss
In the power of control

Whimpered wills
To incense the mind
As bodies descend
In vicious thrills

The sinful dance
In murmured whims
Parting flesh
In sacred sins

Thy breath is claimed
Kept in trust
The gift of life tempered
In fevered rage
 
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All of Me

All of Me


Upon my lips
Revered as god
Kept in trust
A sacred bond

He has come
To claim my soul
As he holds me
In his control

The wills of him
Will never fade
In wanton need
As passions rage

Bound in a dream
To him I concede
My lustful ways
And all of me
 
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