Why do you like pain?

I don't like the pain of stubbing my toe, or a bad headache. But carefully applied impact sensations give me a thrill like no other. I often wonder whether this should have a different name to 'pain' but then I realise that what is pleasure for me could be pain in the traditional sense for other people.

Kyla_girl said:

I'm not sure who you're asking.

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Yes, I was asking you Kyla_girl. Thank you for the insight. I can only try to imagine what you mean, or what it means to be truly dominated by someone you love and trust. How do you get to that point where your "inhibitions and boundaries have been stripped away"? How does your partner know when to stop if you don't give him/her some guidance? How and when do you reach that exquisite point?

I'm asking too many questions of you. I'm only trying to understand my own feelings. The post by Chloesub937 pretty much sums up the extent of my own experience, but you seem to have achieved a much deeper and cerebral level. I'm envious.

I'm slightly masochist because...

it feels good to have all those exciting chemicals pinging around in my brain lol.

I don't like pain in general. I have to feel horny in the first place.

But I think the reason I first wanted to experiment with pain was psychological. I have a certain amount of sexual shame so I feel I should be punished. I think it's because I grew up being told that sex was bad and what not. I don't know, I've not got a degree in psych or anything so I could be totally off base.

curious_slut said:

... I have a certain amount of sexual shame so I feel I should be punished. I think it's because I grew up being told that sex was bad and what not.

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I too have to be sexually aroused before enjoying pain, but I've never been told sex was bad. In fact my parents were very open minded, and I've always felt that "anything goes" as long as it's consensual -- but for me pain just seems to enhance my arousal.

HurtsSoGood said:

I too have to be sexually aroused before enjoying pain, but I've never been told sex was bad. In fact my parents were very open minded, and I've always felt that "anything goes" as long as it's consensual -- but for me pain just seems to enhance my arousal.

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I shouldn't say I was "told" sex was immoral, it was more just my mother's attitude and offhand remarks about sexuality made it her opinions very clear.

I'm open minded, I'm not judgmental of others' decisions. But I can't completely shake off the mindset that I was raised with. I'm critical of my own decisions and preferences. I don't think about it that often, but I feel that those formative years definitely impacted the way I feel about my own sexuality.

But anyway, I'm rather off topic...

Pain usually enhances my orgasms, so I shouldn't complain lol

I enjoy a firm flogging from my wife when I'm feeling stressed. The endorphin rush helps me relax. Always had a high pain tolerance.

I join the others in saying I don't like accidental pain. However the pain inflicted by someone I trust is exquisite in that it shows the trust I have in her and also the suddenness of a sharp slap to my balls right when I am feeling to much pleasure keeps me on edge.

4yourpleasureiam said:

I join the others in saying I don't like accidental pain. However the pain inflicted by someone I trust is exquisite in that it shows the trust I have in her and also the suddenness of a sharp slap to my balls right when I am feeling to much pleasure keeps me on edge.

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Agree completely, the enjoyment is I'm making the person inflicting the pain is happy and enjoying every stroke they are giving.

Although my wife doesn't make me wear a ball gag, part of the "game" is to make me keep quiet while she attends to my balls, which is obviously not an easy thing for me to do. If I'm too quiet, the pain level increases until she gets the response she desires. If I start to get too noisy, the pain type changes to more of a punishment variety. Either way, she enjoys herself and I enjoy taking it for her.

I like erotic pain. It's totally different than actually hurting yourself. A sharp slap is erotic.
Especially if it's in the context of a rape fantasy or play.

The other aspect is humiliation. Sometimes erotic pain can enhance humiliation.

georgeblack said:

To those of you who like to receive pain and/or torture, what do you think makes you want it and why do you associate it with sexual pleasure?

I had a gf who was very much into pain. She wanted to see how much she could take - and she could take a lot. I never fully understood and I would like to.

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I don't know. And I honestly don't care to find out either. I might freak myself out. I really...have no clue. But it's fair to say that sexuality is partly psychological. And...there must be...some...will I have to...prove I can withstand pain? And being very sexual and imaginative I...fuse...the two?

georgeblack said:

To those of you who like to receive pain and/or torture, what do you think makes you want it and why do you associate it with sexual pleasure?

I had a gf who was very much into pain. She wanted to see how much she could take - and she could take a lot. I never fully understood and I would like to.

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Are you Jian Gomeshi?

Ilove the pain of my asshole being stretched always have

I take all the pain daddy thinks I deserve. Submitting to pain is a natural high and allows daddy to punish me the way he sees fit, and he knows loves I know every stroke of that punishment and I am humble and enjoy knowing I have the ability to submit to pain he wants me to endure. Pain is liberating for me.

For me, there are many reasons why I like pain.

In the case of impact play, such as being flogged, caned, whipped, etc it has many appeals. In my experience, I have only done this kind of stuff with a dom who I was with for a while and cared about deeply. Part of it was putting myself, my well being in his hands and knowing for certain that he would never give me anything I couldn't handle. Thats not to say that it didn't hurt because it does. I have had my bottom bruised more times than I can count. It also doesn't mean that it won't push you to your limits. But what fun would it be if you weren't pushing your boundaries a bit right? It also plays to my submissive side, giving myself over to my partner and giving them complete control.

With all that said part of me just really enjoys the sensation. There has been instances where I was tied down, bent over a table and flogged till I was crying. Not because of the pain because it helped release a pent up tension inside of me that I didn't know was there. Most of the time after playing that way will leave me euphoric. Part of it is the endorphins , which you can't deny are AMAZING but there is also something that it does to you as a person. It shows you that you are strong, that you can take way more than you though… and then some. There have been times where I was in almost a trance, where my normal 10 would only register at a 4 or 5.

I think it varies from person to person but if you ask me, thats why I like a little pain with my pleasure.

.....

Its amazing how it can just wash away tension isn't it. My first experience with it was like a light bulb going off in my head. It was a bit of an epiphany. I finally got the release I needed, without even knowing I needed it.

Had a GF long ago who had multiple orgasms every single time we had sex. With each orgasm, she progressively sunk her nails deeper and deeper into my back. It hurt, yet it excited me to know she was experiencing so much "out of control" pleasure. I continued plunging myself into her as her long nails dug deeper and deeper into my skin.
I carried the scars from her orgasmic reactions for several years before they faded. (I wonder what she's doing tonight?)

bdsmbeauty said:

Its amazing how it can just wash away tension isn't it. My first experience with it was like a light bulb going off in my head. It was a bit of an epiphany. I finally got the release I needed, without even knowing I needed it.

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That's totally been my experience. I built up to it gradually, but finally asked my Domme friend to just bend me over and have her way with me. Two hours later, I could hardly stand. It was wonderful.

At the same time I have acquired a deeper appreciation for what my sub feels and needs.

I have been reduced to a pile of jelly on more than one occasion! There is something so feeding and wonderful about giving yourself over like that. I have been real into bastinado recently, specifically with a cane. There is something incredibly sexy about waking up the next morning and feeling that soreness on the soles of my feet. A constant reminder of who I belong to. It's just lovely.

I love that, I think it's awesome that you are willing to walk a mile in your subs shoes. I'm sure it puts a whole new perspective on what it means to submit.

I would love to have an experience like that. The idea of subspace fascinates me and I would love to go there some time although I admit the idea of the drop that can follow it scares me a bit. I've experienced Dom drop once or twice and I find it a bit hard to deal with. I've learned to guard myself though so its not too bad now. First time kind of caught me off guard.

It's fun from a Dom's standpoint to find the right hidden spots to leave those painful little reminders of recent scenes. Have to be careful with that now that summer is coming and sub's like to be outdoors with little on.

And as for the sub experience, I think all Doms should walk that path from time to time. I think it has made me a much stronger and more effective Dom.

In my experience, I have only reached that level during prolonged scenes. Normally starting out slow and working our way up as time goes on. Personally, I've been so "deep" that I will only make noises when responding to my play partner. Meaning, make a noise for yes, stay silent for no . I think in that state, you really kind of strip yourself down and really experience submission on a whole new level. As for sub drop, I have never experienced it too badly, luckily I have had amazing play partners who knew that after care is paramount when playing in such a rough way. But there have been times where I felt anxious and on ege after a scene and it was always when I tried to rush out of after care. Sometimes, the endorphins will jack me up and I can feel invincible and it always ends badly. I think as long as you take the time for aftercare and you keep a dalogue open you can avoid it completely.
I agree with you completely! I think that in order to know what submission is, you have to experience it yourself. It puts things into perspective.

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Thats amazing! I have been there myself after a good play session. You just end up kind of spacing out and in a daze. One of my former doms was big on asking me questions and after a paticularly long session he was asking for feedback, what I liked, what I would have liked more of that sort of thing. After asking a few questions he realized that I was a bit incapable of articulating a real response to the things he was asking. He laughed, knowing that I was out of it and just scooped me up in his lap and let me enjoy what I was feeling. It's almost like being intoxicated. You have all these endorphins running through your body, coupled with the experience itself, it leaves you bit lost in your own world.