Not sure what to make of this

In all fairness, the situation does seem rough. I'm sure that "no sex in over a year" can lead a person to some pretty dark places. At the end of the day, I guess it depends which situation leaves you feeling worse.Most people wouldn't want to live with that kind of guilt, however. I could sympathize if the OP made a bad choice and was feeling terrible, but that doesn't really seem to be the case. I think that is what MOST people are responding to.

Loverskitten said:

"He was good, but based on the amount of hate I received here, I figured this wasn't the place to share."

Ummmm

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I was responding directly to:

NotHisLady said:

Also, given the sparse details in the 'update' I'm assuming he wasn't the E-ticket attraction she was expecting.

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OnceFuturePoly said:

I AM NOT ADVOCATING. Having sex. WITH MINORS.

(Specifically, respect the age restrictions for your political domain.)

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Good. Perhaps next time you should look -very carefully- at what you type when you talk about having sex with "younger people"...because mentioning going to jail/getting on a sex offender registry in the same breath really looks bad.

Also, I didn't appreciate the hateful PM and this is why you've been put on my ignore list. If you want to be nasty, have the brass vagina to do it publicly.

jmfeb said:

Well you are correct about that. I wouldn't have done it if I thought my son would find out though. And I'm much closer to the situation, so I do think it's easier for me to be the judge of that.

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As a parent, and if given a choice, I would not choose to do anything that would be even slightly harmful to my children. Ever. Any risk, would be too much risk. You weighed things up, and decided that the word of an eighteen year old with a golden cock was assurance enough - despite him knowing your son, being his friend, and the two of them moving in the same social circles - that news of this would never, ever reach you son. You decided that the potential of this getting out, however slight, was not enough to deter you.

Your judgment, based on your proximity to the situation has only a little bearing; since there is no way possible you can be 100% positive that this will not get out. There are a multitude of former college and university teachers who are no longer employable in their profession, despite the assurances of absolute discretion from their young lovers.

As much as I can’t claim to know what you are thinking today, or what you will be thinking or feeling in six months, you are not able to know what is going on inside the mind, and with the thoughts and feelings of an eighteen year old today, or down the road.

And now you’re surprised by the haters??? You running a temperature from cock fever or something? Almost every response, prior to you revealing you shagged your son’s friend, advised and encouraged that if you needed to satisfy your desire for young wang, to do so with anyone other than your son’s friend. Your situation was appreciated, but the better interests of your son was in the hearts and minds of those that responded to your first posting.
The backlash you are seeing now is because you put your relationship with your son at risk. It’s because your immediate carnal wants and desires appear to be more important to you than the potential, however slight, of a serious shit-storm pulling your family apart.

Oh, you foolish woman…. You shat where you eat. You thought with your twat.

With the risks involved and all that is at stake, you deciding to go ahead and fuck this young friend of your son’s without knowing 100% absolutely that he would never find out, suggests you are a judge barely suited to judging a Pepsi taste challenge, nevermind this situation.

I have to agree, staying in a bad marriage because of an 18 year old son is kind of ridiculous, he is an adult, not a needy 6 year old, and what is the point of keeping a 'lame duck' marriage at this point? He is going to be leading his own life going to school, working, dating,and so forth, so what is the point?

Banging the 18 year old friend of your son's was completely stupid, I am sure it was flattering to him that an 'older woman' found him attractive while you got yourself a dick that doesn't need viagra or anything else..but what have you really done? You got your rocks off on him, had a long overdue orgasm, but now what? Believing the assurances that an 18 year old will be discrete is like trying to rationalize with a paranoid schizophrenic having a psychotic episode, that kid is more likely then not to brag about it to others, and even if he thinks he is being indirect about it, someone is likely to figure it out. Do you want to become known as the slut mom all the young boys want a piece of?

If your marriage is that bad, then get the fuck out of it, and start dating and find someone you like to fuck around with and have a real relationship, not a living 18 year old dildo to scratch an itch. Among other things, even though what you did was legal, your husband if he finds out is going to make your life miserable, he will likely let the world know what you did in revenge for humiliating him. I don't care if he is the world's biggest jerk, fucking an 18 year old friend of your son is going to light him up, and you are going to end up covered in slime.

I would be willing to bet that the OP blows us all off and ends up sleeping with the kid again, something about the way she described it made me think she is incapable of understanding the magnitude of what she is doing,

OnceFuturePoly said:

I would like to think this younger man got (is getting) a wonderful education that will vastly improve his future sexual encounters, and indirectly, the future encounters of his future partners.

It used to be that an experienced older woman taught the inexperienced men who taught the inexperienced women. These old-young relationships traditionally got a pass and the educator got a "reputation".

Much more risky for the educator was an experienced older man teaching a younger women. These relationships traditionally got the man run out of town (or strong-armed into a wedding).

Now that it's jail time and sex offender registries and child support. I wonder...

Are we reverting back to totally inexperienced couples fumbling around for many, many years until their forties or fifties when finally they say, "I sure wish I knew way back then what I've finally learned now!"?

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To be honest I think the 'older person' selflessly teaching the younger person how to have sex is basically a myth, given how so many people have crappy sex lives as adults, it would be more like the blind leading the dead or something IMO. Sure, everyone loves to believe they are a suave, sophisticated lover but if you read what people say about their marriages, if you read women's accounts of what it is like, and if you look at the adultery rates it doesn't paint a very moving picture of 'older' people being able to show 'younger' ones the ropes.

A young person would probably be better off learning with another young person and using sex aides like books and videos to guide them rather then someone purporting to be an expert. Like I said, the adultery rate in the US is reputedly near 60% and sexual frustration is a major problem, so where are all the experts?

OnceFuturePoly said:

The deed is done, for good or bad or both.

You'all have picked out a lot of bad things, and preached hard against the act. Further words will not undo something that has already happened, not to mention I doubt she's been back to check recent replies.

But since it's happened, can anything good be made from the act?

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To be honest, I doubt very much the kid learned much from her, a frustrated housewife with a shit marriage is not exactly going to be the sophisticated lover making a man out of the young guy..more like she used him for a human dildo.

jmfeb said:

Well you are correct about that. I wouldn't have done it if I thought my son would find out though. And I'm much closer to the situation, so I do think it's easier for me to be the judge of that.

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Famous last words, and the key there is "I wouldn't have done it if I thought my son would find out though". You are assuming your actions were logical and well thought out, but that is true of a lot of people. Cheaters who get caught say routinely that they thought they wouldn't get caught, people convicted of crimes were sure they wouldn't get caught, and the reason is what they thought wasn't rational or well thought out, as others said, this was an impulsive act. There was nothing illegal about it, that is true, but it has a lot of components you never thought out..like, for example, if the kid wants to have sex again and you don't, think he might not be spiteful and tell? 18 year olds are considered adults, but have you ever looked at the way 18 year old do things, the impulsive, stupid shit they/we did at that age? Among other things, impulse control doesn't really kick in until you are in your 20's, and a kid like that is a prime candidate to blurt out what happened, especially if he goes out and gets drunk with his buddies. You are treating the kid like he is 36 years old, instead of the kid who is barely out of diapers emotionally.

I am not condemning you for cheating on your husband, I am pointing out that the way you did this was self serving and also likely to blow up in your face...and if your marriage is so bad, why stay in it when your own kid is technically an adult? Why do something like this when there is a whole ocean out there of fish, many of whom probably will make the kid you sleep with look like a piker sexually.

Just want to say that I am no longer married to the same guy as when I started this thread, and my son's friend and I are happily in a committed relationship (and I am a million times more sexually satisfied now).

And here comes all the hate...

i can't imagine your son is happy with this turn of events, but that's none of my business, ultimately.

i am glad to know you're no longer in a marriage that clearly outlived any usefulness.

ed

jmfeb said:

Just want to say that I am no longer married to the same guy as when I started this thread, and my son's friend and I are happily in a committed relationship (and I am a million times more sexually satisfied now).

And here comes all the hate...

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I hope it works out for you and you are happy, and of course sexually satisfied, but happy as well

Amazing how someone with 8 posts in 2.5 years cares so much about what we think of her life choices.

Miles Long said:

Amazing how someone with 8 posts in 2.5 years cares so much about what we think of her life choices.

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lol.. I was just thinking that.

I don't really care enough about it to hate. The irony isn't lost that there was a need to protect one child while dragging the other to the fem cave by his boyish man parts..
I'm sure there is a Hallmark card for this one.