Looking for someone to talk about BDSM (not a personal ad).

That's a good point. And after thinking about it, here is the honest answer I came up with. I am not used to being able to discuss things like this openly. Partly aprehensive about admitting some of the things I like/want because of what I know many in mainstream society think (I know that's not what it's like here, but old habits die hard).

Part of that is because I am a Christian and most of the Christian community looks down on BDSM even within a monogamous marriage. So trying to shake the feeling that it's ok to be open about it.

The other reason, almost as compelling, afraid of being made fun of for being pretty clueless about it all.

How's that for total honesty?


#1 - Honesty, for people of character and integrity, is always appreciated.
#2 - As a Christian and kinkster with over 16 years experience doing this stuff, I absolutely understand the conflicted feelings this can generate. To the point I actually have a "Christianity and BDSM" presentation. I lead one recently at DomCon Atlanta (close the sponsor ad page, then scroll down to Sunday 2:15 to 3:45 for the class description).
#3 - We were ALL new once. Someone making fun of you has self esteem issues and is using a bullying tactic to puff themselves up. You can tell them to piss off.

And my inbox is open any time you don't want to ask a question in public.

I also have a profile on FetLife, the same as here Evil_Geoff. :)
 
#1 - Honesty, for people of character and integrity, is always appreciated.
#2 - As a Christian and kinkster with over 16 years experience doing this stuff, I absolutely understand the conflicted feelings this can generate. To the point I actually have a "Christianity and BDSM" presentation. I lead one recently at DomCon Atlanta (close the sponsor ad page, then scroll down to Sunday 2:15 to 3:45 for the class description).
#3 - We were ALL new once. Someone making fun of you has self esteem issues and is using a bullying tactic to puff themselves up. You can tell them to piss off.

And my inbox is open any time you don't want to ask a question in public.

I also have a profile on FetLife, the same as here Evil_Geoff. :)

Thanks! I appreciate it! :)
 
Hi MissShelly. I've been on Lit for a few years, have had a couple amazing Doms who I met on the site. I think my bdsm tastes have changed and I'm not even sure I'd call myself submissive anymore. Of course, to a few men, I will always be submissive. ;)

I had some great teachers who had quite a job of convincing me that it was (is) OK to be submissive AND to be an independent, strong woman. I was raised by a single mom and was taught "I am woman, hear me roar." I felt it was wrong to submit to a man, even though it was something I ached to do. While I'm not religious, I still totally understand your conundrum. I'm happy to be of any assistance in your journey, should you need an ear!

Also, I have to give props to my Litsters. You're in a great place for this kind of discussion. There are some really wonderful people here and I've been fortunate to meet a few in real life who will likely remain lifelong friends. A word about Fetlife... In my experience it's very hard-core. At least in my area. I'm sure it varies by place, but I would never go to one of those events alone.
 
Hi, and thanks!

And no, I would never go to any place like that alone anyway.... that's assuming I'd even go in the first place. Then again, this very tiny town, I'm sure there probably isn't much going on anyway. :(

Hi MissShelly. I've been on Lit for a few years, have had a couple amazing Doms who I met on the site. I think my bdsm tastes have changed and I'm not even sure I'd call myself submissive anymore. Of course, to a few men, I will always be submissive. ;)

I had some great teachers who had quite a job of convincing me that it was (is) OK to be submissive AND to be an independent, strong woman. I was raised by a single mom and was taught "I am woman, hear me roar." I felt it was wrong to submit to a man, even though it was something I ached to do. While I'm not religious, I still totally understand your conundrum. I'm happy to be of any assistance in your journey, should you need an ear!

Also, I have to give props to my Litsters. You're in a great place for this kind of discussion. There are some really wonderful people here and I've been fortunate to meet a few in real life who will likely remain lifelong friends. A word about Fetlife... In my experience it's very hard-core. At least in my area. I'm sure it varies by place, but I would never go to one of those events alone.
 
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