Why is it so hard....

Why is it so hard to have your first bi experience? I have had bi thoughts for years, fought them off, about 2yrs ago I accepted this is something I want to explore but haven't taken the plunge.
I think the hardest part is finding a like minded guy, not some random hook up. Also, I have no attraction to men, but a nice cut, trimmed/shaved cock turns me on.....
How do I make the turn??

I was lucky to have had a couple shots at threesomes with bicurious guys.

bscurious1 said:

Why is it so hard to have your first bi experience? I have had bi thoughts for years, fought them off, about 2yrs ago I accepted this is something I want to explore but haven't taken the plunge.
I think the hardest part is finding a like minded guy, not some random hook up. Also, I have no attraction to men, but a nice cut, trimmed/shaved cock turns me on.....
How do I make the turn??

Click to expand...

My nephew is gay and I'm bisexual since I was in my teens....being married for 11 years has put a damper on my cocksucking since I said I do....but I still have strong urges to suck cock....especially BBC...my nephew is always suggesting I try Grindr but living in a small community outside from major cities makes that hard without getting exposed publicly....but you may wanna try it....

bscurious1 said:

Why is it so hard to have your first bi experience? I have had bi thoughts for years, fought them off, about 2yrs ago I accepted this is something I want to explore but haven't taken the plunge.
I think the hardest part is finding a like minded guy, not some random hook up. Also, I have no attraction to men, but a nice cut, trimmed/shaved cock turns me on.....
How do I make the turn??

Click to expand...

Maybe a TG is more what you’re looking for. I for one love them. 95% of the time it’s the porn I’m watching. The other 5% is gay and strap on.

bscurious1 said:

Why is it so hard to have your first bi experience? I have had bi thoughts for years, fought them off, about 2yrs ago I accepted this is something I want to explore but haven't taken the plunge.
I think the hardest part is finding a like minded guy, not some random hook up. Also, I have no attraction to men, but a nice cut, trimmed/shaved cock turns me on.....
How do I make the turn??

Click to expand...

I'm with you.... finding a buddy with similar interests, discreet, and safe that you would feel comfortable with can be illusive

CuriousGuyVa said:

I'm with you.... finding a buddy with similar interests, discreet, and safe that you would feel comfortable with can me illusive

Click to expand...

Yes very illusive. It's very difficult to get a tick in those boxes.

So Hard, so tired of waiting

I can't answer for everyone, just myself. I want what you may want and what a lot of others may want. An opportunity to have a no judgement, disease free, non-perv, take it at my own pace experience. And you CAN have that. Just not with another human being. The second you introduce another person into the equation your variables double.

There is a concept in discussing process where there are three sides of a process you can generally control two and the third you cannot. For example sex is a process. There are three main controls. Duration, Quality, and Frequency. If you are lucky enough you can at best control two of the controls. Duration and Frequency, if you want it often and fast, it probably isn't going to be good. If you want a long duration intense climax session, it probably isn't going to be often. you get the point.

My one experience was very little of the things I wanted. The guy was a bit pervy and I was not really comfortable with what he wanted. I let my fierce need to suck his cock cloud my judgement. This time I am hoping to define expectations and start slow. But really in the moment when adrenaline and desire are at their peak, can you be objective? Had he been more focused I would have maybe had another session, bu he started sending me texts that were well outside of the agreed upon limits and I finally had to block him. Bad experiences can happen.

This isn't like high school sex where you are just glad to touch a body and don't really care if its bad sex, because, hey even bad sex is still sex. Rather, he we are more mature, hopefully rational, secure individuals who have decided we would like to try something new and a bit scary. Fear is a factor.

I am a professional with a community face. If anyone were to discover my private desires that could be a disaster for me. And if my wife found out that I was acting on my desires, she would feel betrayed. Risk of exposure is a concern.

I have thought about going to a glory hole or a club. But here the likely hood of getting an STD is huge. A man without experience and a private life to protect has the same needs as I and is less risk of getting and STD from. Health is a concern.

You could easily add a hundred nightmare scenarios to the mix. Which is why the field is so narrow. I think there are more guys who would put themselves out there if it were not for all of the risks I have shown. Those of us who have are giving up some of the control points on risk which in themselves are an increased risk. A best case scenario would be that friend you have known since high school, comes over one night and says, "Hey Jim I've been thinking..." and if that happened we wouldn't be here asking ourselves why is it so hard to find a man with little risk who will let me explore his body and satisfy my curiosity?

All I want is to fondle, stroke, lick, nuzzle, explore, and possibly suck a cock. I would like to start by just stroking him till he cums all over my hand. I want to feel how his ball contract in my hand as he erupts. And the in our next session I want to have him cum in my mouth without me sucking him. I just want to feel his cum on my tongue so I can focus on that and nothing else. Finally I want to deep throat him until he cums in my mouth and then I want to gently lick him until he is soft, feeling his cock go limp.

Here is the last thing that is inconsistent with those desires. What if that isn't what he wants? What if he just want to blow me and leave? If that happens there won't be a second time.

Sounds pretty dismal right? Well I think if you want all of those things, you are going to give up the control of When. Which means waiting. If you don't want to wait you are going to have to loosen up some of the other controls and lower your expectations. As for me, I will keep searching for that unicorn.

Yes... the risks are wide and varied, and waiting for the time of ones own choosing is the best way to go unless you are willing to loosen some of the concerns... among them safe, clean and discreet..

I will wait

*****

bscurious1 said:

Why is it so hard to have your first bi experience? I have had bi thoughts for years, fought them off, about 2yrs ago I accepted this is something I want to explore but haven't taken the plunge.
I think the hardest part is finding a like minded guy, not some random hook up. Also, I have no attraction to men, but a nice cut, trimmed/shaved cock turns me on.....
How do I make the turn??

Click to expand...

Im experiencing the same thing. I consider myself a straight 31yo male, but I'm totally attracted to a fine MtF trans/tgirl or a sexy ASF passable CD/trap. Im CRAVY a sexual experience!! I would have to be strictly top too... No bottom for this guy haha!

Valiant69 said:

I will admit after reading through so many postings explaining the persons desires to have a first bi experience and also making sure things are safe (health wise), and discreet. With the internet being so huge now than say 10 years ago, one of the other concerns is having photos and video made of the first meet or several meets possibly afterwards. You can say to the person "just tell the other person you don't want those things" but you can never be sure if they will abide by your request. I mean there are small camera's on laptops, cellphones, etc that can easily record or take photos without you knowing. Atleast before the technology boom you pretty much only use a camera or video camera and they were so small. It would be a little more obvious.

I guess I am ranting here but its scary. I want to have the experience. I long for the experience but very scared of the what if's. :-( so frustrating

Click to expand...

That is one thing (among many) that concerns me. If you do meet someone with whom to take the plunge, where do you meet to have the encounter? You don't want a relative stranger showing up to your place. If you go to their place, however, you don't know if they've got cameras hidden all over. The same goes for meeting a neutral site. If you're out as bi and don't care who sees you, then it's not an issue. If you're not however...

I, like many guys who have posted, can relate. I've been curious for several years, but have never had the nerve to act on that curiosity.

There are many concerns that have already been stated - finding a compatible guy, being secretly recorded, STDs, boundaries, blackmail, nerves, etc.

It is no wonder that I have just lived with my fantasies.

Removed message

Have you thought about seeing a professional, It sounds like a TG/TS is what you are looking for, you could hire a pro and be guaranteed some action, or try any known TS friendly hang-outs. I had always thought of myself as straight until I met a TS who changed my life, I don't really consider myself Bisexual, I'm not attracted to men, but very attracted to TS, these days I'm both active and passive, I would really recommend you try a TS and see if it opens a whole new world for you.