loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 18, 2013 #776 -Honeymoon- Can my mother live with us?
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #779 Is that a pencil, or is it your cock?
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #782 This next part gets pretty rough, so let me call in a stunt whore.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #783 This just wasn't meant to be. I'm premenstrual, and you're premature.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #784 This isn't working out too well. Let's go back to text message sex.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #785 Umm....my dad asked if he can see you in a thong.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #787 Why do you have an 'Applause' sign mounted over your bed?
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #788 Please don't laugh, but I'm 35, still live with my mom, and I sleep in a crib. I hope that you don't mind sleeping on plastic sheets.
Please don't laugh, but I'm 35, still live with my mom, and I sleep in a crib. I hope that you don't mind sleeping on plastic sheets.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #789 I don't normally have sex with live women, so please don't move while I make love. And try not to breathe, it creeps me out.
I don't normally have sex with live women, so please don't move while I make love. And try not to breathe, it creeps me out.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #790 Now that we are married, can we get rid of the sheep in the bedroom?
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #791 If you were any more frigid, I'd have to chip the icicles off of your nipples.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #792 I call those 'speed bumps'. They're from when I had an extra inch grafted on to it.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #793 How do you like my 'hot rod'? Hurt like a bitch when I had flames tattooed onto it.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #794 I don't do oral. Surprise! I'm Vegan!
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #795 I'm going to stop shaving and go all natural from now on.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #796 I wonder why I haven't heard back from my doctor about my chlamydia test.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #797 That was 'Great', but let's try celibacy for a while.
loquere Smile! Joined May 19, 2011 Posts 35,204 Mar 19, 2013 #798 Did you remember to take out the trash?
