Feedback Request - Photoshoot

yoursohi

Really Experienced
Joined
Feb 16, 2014
Posts
155
I posted this, my second submission a few days ago. It does seem to have been received quite favorably. Having said that I also realize that I am no writer and apart from the many grammatical errors I would also love to hear any criticisms and feedback on the overall story, plot and general style.

I didn't avail myself of an editor, a mistake I feel in hindsight so I've posted this thread to in part and in someway to remedy that fact.

It is in Erotic couplings section and the link is: https://www.literotica.com/s/photoshoot-3

Thanks in advance.
 
I just finished reading your story. I think you did a good job with plot and character development. It is evident you are not from the U.S. as some of the words you used were not spelled how we would spell them, but this is normal and acceptable. You had some run-on sentences and some awkward sentences.

It was evident you did not print off your story so you could proofread it slowly while making notes of things needing correction. It's also evident you are relying too much on spellcheck. All spellcheck does is tell a writer if the word they used was spelled correctly, not if it's the right word.
 
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