Cuck stories ... Feedback about the kink or the writing?

KenAndSara

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Sep 18, 2014
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i just got my first cuck/reluctant story published today:

http://www.literotica.com/s/sara-shows-me

I got a pretty rough review from someone who seemed more interested in questioning the kink vs. The story. This led me to ponder An interesting question:

Do stories like cuck/female led ones tend to score lower than other genres in general, or were there just serious flaws in the story?
 
It is not a bad story - I just never got into the characters. No feeling, just three non-caring people treating each other poorly. Some shifts in the speed of events with smaller subtle steps would have giving it more believably. A lead in with more emotion would have sold the pain that Ken felt. Dave, as an asshole, came across well enough.

The Anon comment was a bit much.
 
i just got my first cuck/reluctant story published today:

http://www.literotica.com/s/sara-shows-me

I got a pretty rough review from someone who seemed more interested in questioning the kink vs. The story. This led me to ponder An interesting question:

Do stories like cuck/female led ones tend to score lower than other genres in general, or were there just serious flaws in the story?

I think you've put your finger on it with "cuck/female led".

Like the second Anon commenter suggests, there are readers in the Loving Wives category who really HATE any cuckold story that doesn't end with "and then the guy she cheated on ruined her life in revenge along with her lover's because that's what a manly man would do". They leave long angry comments about how the guy should've dealt with it, they bomb the offending stories (and sometimes everything else by the same author). The first comment on yours looks like one of that crowd found your story, maybe via the "cuckold" tag.

And the standard story in Nonconsent/Reluctance is "guy rapes girl". Readers who are expecting that won't appreciate the sort of story you're telling. I think without those two handicaps it'd be rating somewhere in the low 4s.
 
i just got my first cuck/reluctant story published today:

http://www.literotica.com/s/sara-shows-me

I got a pretty rough review from someone who seemed more interested in questioning the kink vs. The story. This led me to ponder An interesting question:

Do stories like cuck/female led ones tend to score lower than other genres in general, or were there just serious flaws in the story?

Erotica is still "man town" in many ways. Any type of female on top story/femdom/ or woman getting away with cheating takes a lot more heat than male dominants, men raping women and burn the bitch stories.

Its not every male reader of course, but there is a large faction that see stories with women on top as "unnatural"

Slutty women who cum at the mere thought of cock, women getting raped, sold into sexual slavery, women being mind controlled and women getting their lives ruined and tortured for cheating fall under

"as it should be" and will be rewarded with a great clapping together of cloven hooves anything in the other direction gets bombed.
 
Bramble thorn,

You make some interesting points. I would like to maybe recategorize the story to something more appropriate... Would loving wives be the place?

BTW - I am a guy and find stories like the one I wrote to be very exciting. I wish more women could find that inner vixen and have her come out to play...
 
Bramble thorn,

You make some interesting points. I would like to maybe recategorize the story to something more appropriate... Would loving wives be the place?

BTW - I am a guy and find stories like the one I wrote to be very exciting. I wish more women could find that inner vixen and have her come out to play...

I'm a guy who enjoys women in control stories as well, but we're a minority here, or at least ones that will admit it.
 
Bramble thorn,

You make some interesting points. I would like to maybe recategorize the story to something more appropriate... Would loving wives be the place?

BTW - I am a guy and find stories like the one I wrote to be very exciting. I wish more women could find that inner vixen and have her come out to play...

First, write the story you want it to be. Loving Wives is a snake pit on comment too. I haven't looked at the story, but maybe Erotic Coupling (?)
 
Bramble thorn,

You make some interesting points. I would like to maybe recategorize the story to something more appropriate... Would loving wives be the place?

BTW - I am a guy and find stories like the one I wrote to be very exciting. I wish more women could find that inner vixen and have her come out to play...

I'm not really sure what the best fit for this is, category-wise.

Erotic Couplings tends to be a "vanilla hetero" fallback category for stuff that doesn't qualify for one of the other categories, so readers there may not be keen on the NC/cuckoldry aspects.

Technically it's not a LW story because they're not married to one another, but I think it's close enough in spirit that you could post it to LW if you wanted to do it. But it's not likely to help your score because there are many more like the AngryAnon in LW, liable to bomb this and your other stories.

Exhibitionism/Voyeur might work? I don't read that category enough to get a good feel for what's the standard fare or what the readers like, but it should qualify for that. Or you could make the other guy black and stick it in Interracial.

But unless you're planning on deleting and resubmitting, it may not achieve a lot to recategorise it at this point. A lot of the views happen in the first couple of days; by the time you get it moved, it's not likely to make a big difference to your ratings. Maybe better just to focus on the next story and not worry too much about this one.
 
A nearby thread is "When Is A Story Ready?" One of my answers was that sometimes you just have to shoot it in the head and move on to the next tale. It's done. Time for another.
 
Well, things are taking a nasty, violent turn in the comments. Time to start deleting... sigh...
 
Kink or what

I just reread your story. Although I enjoyed the plot the character development was sorely lacking. The reader is told that Ken and Sara have been in an affair for years. An affair usually is indicative that one or both parties are in a relationship with other parties such as being married or seriously dating someone else. This definitely needed to be clarified.
From the story a reader gets the idea that Sara is a strong willed person but you failed to describe what position she held at the office, whether she is is educated or just a bimbo. You could have told the reader what she liked to do during the time when she was not fucking Ken. As for Ken who was he outside of being Sara's lover and co-worker. From the story the reader gets the idea that Sara is nothing more than a convenient lay so it is no wonder that he treats her like he does. You definitely need to flesh out the characters.
I hope my critique helps you as I am in the process of writing my own story. Thinking about yours has shown me just where mine needs some fleshing out to help the reader to see how the situation came about. I wish all the best with your story.
 
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Awesome ideas and a great critique. I forget that each story needs to stand on its own. Thanks for the feedback.
 
I could see places where characters and emotions could be developed further, but that's always a challenge when writing short erotica. The story had lots of the classic cuck elements and surely that's what people want if they're looking in that tag?

It's difficult to create femdom that's popular in comparison with other genres, but there definitely is a huge (and often very appreciative) readership out there.
 
Hang in There!

Your comments about voting patterns on cuckolding stories posted in Loving Wives are very much on target. Such stories -- particularly where the female partner enjoys herself and the male partner isn't humiliated -- attract down-voting and nasty comments like a bug zapper in summer.

Based on my own experience, you might do better posting in Fetish or in Interracial (if that is a theme), but for some reason cuckold stories posted in Loving Wives really seem to provoke the negative. I've had commenters who have actually said they are going out of their way to encourage down voting of those of my stories posted in LW to punish me for putting the story in (they allege) the wrong category. If it makes you feel any better, the cuckold stories I've posted in IR have typically received ratings in the 4.3 to 4.65 range; my most recent story -- posted in LW -- now hangs around 2.85 or so, and IMHO is pretty much on par with the higher ratings received by my stories in IR.

For what it's worth, few if any of the most vicious haters have actually written stories of their own; fellow authors -- even those who don't like the genre or the story itself -- tend to offer helpful and constructive suggestions. I'd encourage you to keep writing and either turn off the rating/comments buttons until you are comfortable, or ignore the haters and focus your attention on constructive criticism that I think you will find mostly comes from fellow writers.

In the meantime, don't forget that you can always delete offensive comments posted to your own stories. GOOD LUCK and keep writing!
 
This has been some great feedback. As someone who does not write porn professionally, getting some insight to the process and landscape is really appreciated.

Time for me to write a few more stories.
 
First, write the story you want it to be. Loving Wives is a snake pit on comment too. I haven't looked at the story, but maybe Erotic Coupling (?)



Nah! A tad naive, I posted a Val day story with no extra-marital sex to show how marital problems could arise. No cuckoldry but I got horsewhipped by idiots who said, " She was thinking about being unfaithful". That was the tension in the story.
 
i just got my first cuck/reluctant story published today:

http://www.literotica.com/s/sara-shows-me

I got a pretty rough review from someone who seemed more interested in questioning the kink vs. The story. This led me to ponder An interesting question:

Do stories like cuck/female led ones tend to score lower than other genres in general, or were there just serious flaws in the story?

Pay that review ZERO attention which is what it deserves.


Happens ALL the time and only seems to happen in this niche.

It seems that some people need to find the moral highground on this kink.

Personally I find it laughable that they need to do this, yet here they are, on an EROTIC STORIES SITE.

Oddly, write a story about a church wife being raped by demons and that's ok.

Some people.
 
After several years of carrying on our office affair, I guess I got a little complacent with tending to Sara's needs. After all, any time we have had to travel for work, the company pays for two rooms, but we only use one because sex is always on the agenda. It's something I came to expect, and maybe even take for granted.

As we led up to our last trip out of town, I was very explicit in what I was looking forward to doing with Sara when we enjoying our off hours. Where we used to do more romantic things when we were together, I was just focusing on my needs and not thinking about making Sara feel special. I fell into the common trap of not paying attention to what she was telling me. That was definitely my bad, and believe me, I was about to pay dearly for my neglect.

So, after a long, frustrating day of travel, we finally got to the hotel. To my surprise, we were given adjoining rooms when we checked in. Normally, we are given two rooms on different floors, so this was going to be a real treat. We collected our room keys, grabbed our bags and headed upstairs. (yours, 209 words)

After several years of carrying on our office affair, I got complacent about Sara's needs. After all, whenever we have had to travel for work, the company has paid for two rooms, but we use only one. I've come to expect sex, to take the sex for granted.

As time grew near for our latest trip, I was explicit about how Sara and I would enjoy our off hours. In the past we had done many romantic things, but now I had come to focus only on my own needs, not on making Sara feel special. I fell into the habit of not paying attention. That was my bad,(and believe me,) I was about to pay dearly for my neglect.

After a long, frustrating day of travel, we arrived at the hotel. To my surprise, we were given adjoining rooms. Normally, we were given rooms on different floors, so I expected a real treat. We collected our keys, grabbed our bags and headed upstairs. (168 words)

(This is a suggestion how you could eliminate a lot of unnecessary words to help your story flow more smoothly. There are many ways this could be done. In fact I am sure these three graphs could be trimmed even tighter. The point is If we have saved over forty unnecessary words in three paragraphs, imagine how much deadwood you could cut from the entire story. (phrases like "and maybe even" are death to a story. It is as if you want to say, "take for granted" but are hedging your bet in case it is not the right thing to say. It shows lack of confidence in your writing. Same with "I guess I got a little complacent", as opposed to "I became complacent." Also , "when we checked in". When else?)
 
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Perhaps you don't realize

There are many stories here everday. It's impossible or incredibly time consuming to read the tags and comments on every story BEFORE you read it. Frankly I just start reading and take my chances. That kind of story (willing/forced wimpy cuck) just makes me want to divorce the bitch and move on. In this case it's an affair and for me it'd be over about 10 seconds into the initial conversation.

Add some gay M/M action on it and it makes me want to vomit. And you will get 1 bombed if I get to the end of the story and find that there are no M/M tags. I won't bomb it if the tags are there and you did warn the readers unless it's really bad in other ways.

If you're going to post stories like that (and it is your right) you have to be prepared for the backlash that will follow as most readers simply don't like the genre. More so because 90% of the stories are just recycled cliches as this one is.

While I don't care for the cuck genre I can tell you there are authors that write about it and tender some well constructed, thoughtful stories. Try reading some of JayCucks stories to get an idea. Distasteful but compellingly done! I see his "road less travelled" story has disappeared but start with "south padre island" to get some ideas on writing better.

Someone else mentioned a different category such as erotic couplings for cuck stories but that is crap! The fact is it might be erotic to YOU but I can guarantee it isn't to the other 99.9% of the readers. IMO erotic couplings should be more generic M/F hetero couplings that any man and wife or girlfriend could enjoy. Once it starts to have a specific direction, let's say "in public" then it should be directed to the "exhibitionist" category. Same thing with cuck if you're going to have a fair amount of M/M action put it in gay. There are a number of cuck writers whose stories are 98% gay and the wife makes a cameo appearance. Those stories I can't flame enough when they show up on LW.

The LW category has the BTB crowd and the Reconciliation crowd but both crowds hate cuck stories and you will find that overall your comments are going to reflect the distaste for the cuck lifestyle than the story! If you want to continue to write that shit learn to live with toilet paper handy!
 
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Do stories like cuck/female led ones tend to score lower than other genres in general, or were there just serious flaws in the story?

If you're going to write cuck stories, you're going to get flamed. Period, regardless of what category you put them under. However, you could pacify your readers by writing a final chapter where justice is done; i.e. the wronged husband gets his revenge 100 times over, either at his own hand or via karma. I hope you don't take that course of action! Here's an author who's done exactly that. It's an excellent, well written story, spoilt by the last chapter to appease the BTB readership

https://www.literotica.com/s/friends-with-benefits-ch-01-6

If you've had death threats or other angry comments, wear them with a badge of honour. Poor quality stories tend to get ignored, so you must be doing something right
 
That's what makes it so dammed exciting.

BTW, the ratings for the story recently cracked the 4.0 mark. Maybe it wasn't that bad of a story after all.

There's another thread in the forum, but basically the admins do have a secret formula to weed out the troll votes. You might notice the vote count goes down, but the vote totals go up for your type of story. They recognize that there are "readers", and I say that because sometimes they obviously didn't read the story, who brigade the writers, giving junk reviews and horrible 1 star voting waves to their other stories. I sometimes wonder if some of them have multiple accounts. Most, but not all, of their horrible reviews are from the safe confines of "Anonymous". There is definitely a "herd" of them. They are clearly antagonistic for antagonism's sake. Why do these sad losers continue? Your guess is as good as mine. They add nothing and try to bait writers with vile insults of the characters, and sometimes even the writers and a very bizarre view of what they believe should be in Loving Wives, despite the site's plain as day description, "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more".

You cannot argue with them because they'll never end, and only when you exhaust yourself, or just be the bigger person and ignore the garbage do they drift away looking for others to hound.

If God forbid they ever got the personal information of the writers, I could only imagine the hell they would put them through. I for one am very pleased that Literotica does try and deal with the voting issues. It is a free service they provide to the writers, and I wouldn't expect them to police the comments. If I don't want to see crap comments, I can remove them myself or turn them off before I post.

There are definitely a ton of legitimately badly written stories in the cuck realm. When I first started under a different name, I had one or two doozies, but I like to think I improved quickly. The legitimate criticism is gold for a writer who wants to improve. I think this is a great site, and I have dreams of writing for $ one day, not even in the genre, and it has really helped me hone my skill. Good luck.
 
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