The Isolated Blurt BDSM Thread

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:mad: I am such a ditz. I keep everything not child appropriate in hidden folders. The problem? I couldn't find one of the folders because I couldn't remember what I named it. :rolleyes:

Funny story:
My sis lived in a house full of girls in college. One of the gals was having trouble with her computer so a young man was over helping her with it. Apparently this kid was pretty cute so naturally the whole house was standing around watching him work. He was going through her files and he saw a "new folder" he clicked and inside was another "new folder", he clicked and inside was yet another "new folder". About this time the kid goes "whoa, yeah, we don't need to go any further into there". One of the more naive young ladies (my sis) asks him why not. The kid tells her that by the time you get to the third or fourth "new folder" it's code for porn stash, like a digital sock on the door.

I'm thinking "sock on door" inside of "sock on door" inside of a password protected "new folder" will by my new strategy.
 
Job hunting is like dating.... lots and lots and lots of frogs. :p

(29 resume's out; three phone interviews to show for it.)

Of course, if my income goes up more than 20%, he's going to sue me. Again. I'm currently trying to ignore that bit and focus on improving things as much as possible... this Pollyanna shit is getting old.
 
It's over! :D

Yay! :D

Job hunting is like dating.... lots and lots and lots of frogs. :p

(29 resume's out; three phone interviews to show for it.)

Of course, if my income goes up more than 20%, he's going to sue me. Again. I'm currently trying to ignore that bit and focus on improving things as much as possible... this Pollyanna shit is getting old.

I bet some of us could...ahem...take care of that problem for you. You know. Hypothetically speaking.

Seriously, I hope everything goes ok for you.
 
Yay! :D



I bet some of us could...ahem...take care of that problem for you. You know. Hypothetically speaking.

Seriously, I hope everything goes ok for you.

You're sweet. :)

There is no "okay" in this situation. All my attempts to explain the devistation this will cause has fallen on deaf ears. If I want to live up to the financial obligations, I won't have the means (time, etc) to spend with my children. If I want to spend time with my children, I won't have the means to live up to my financial obligations. If I somehow change things and make enough $$ to do both, he'll sue for an increase in child support - putting me back in the position of kids vs money. He's so blinded by bitterness, he doesn't even care.

But I have 3 job interviews, anyway - and that would mean learning a new industry, which could be incredibly fun. :)
 
You're sweet. :)

There is no "okay" in this situation. All my attempts to explain the devistation this will cause has fallen on deaf ears. If I want to live up to the financial obligations, I won't have the means (time, etc) to spend with my children. If I want to spend time with my children, I won't have the means to live up to my financial obligations. If I somehow change things and make enough $$ to do both, he'll sue for an increase in child support - putting me back in the position of kids vs money. He's so blinded by bitterness, he doesn't even care.

But I have 3 job interviews, anyway - and that would mean learning a new industry, which could be incredibly fun. :)

*Hugs*

The offer still stands. ;)
 
You're sweet. :)

There is no "okay" in this situation. All my attempts to explain the devistation this will cause has fallen on deaf ears. If I want to live up to the financial obligations, I won't have the means (time, etc) to spend with my children. If I want to spend time with my children, I won't have the means to live up to my financial obligations. If I somehow change things and make enough $$ to do both, he'll sue for an increase in child support - putting me back in the position of kids vs money. He's so blinded by bitterness, he doesn't even care.

But I have 3 job interviews, anyway - and that would mean learning a new industry, which could be incredibly fun. :)

What does he want exactly? Also, isn't there a standard calculation in your state?
 
What does he want exactly? Also, isn't there a standard calculation in your state?

We have 5 children- standard calculation is 40% of my income; he has a right to modify support anytime my salary ncreases by more than 20%.

He has a "right" to everything he's asking for; that (IMO) isn't the same as doing what's in the children's best interest.

I work retail; I don't have a degree and spent 12 years as a full time mother. Its taken 8 years to find the stability I currently have. Thisisas good as it gets for someone like me, but it won't allowme to both support the children and give them the relationship they deserve. And their dad has decided the money is more important than me.

I shouldn't have even mentioned it...
 
Funny story:
My sis lived in a house full of girls in college. One of the gals was having trouble with her computer so a young man was over helping her with it. Apparently this kid was pretty cute so naturally the whole house was standing around watching him work. He was going through her files and he saw a "new folder" he clicked and inside was another "new folder", he clicked and inside was yet another "new folder". About this time the kid goes "whoa, yeah, we don't need to go any further into there". One of the more naive young ladies (my sis) asks him why not. The kid tells her that by the time you get to the third or fourth "new folder" it's code for porn stash, like a digital sock on the door.

I'm thinking "sock on door" inside of "sock on door" inside of a password protected "new folder" will by my new strategy.

LOL

Kids don't take hints. It's best if they just don't know it's there.
 
We have 5 children- standard calculation is 40% of my income; he has a right to modify support anytime my salary ncreases by more than 20%.
Hmm... my devious mind suggests that there might be an option to discuss this situation with a potential employer and say, "Since there's a good chance the ex will sue me for additional support if I increase gross income by 20% or more, knocking my effective income back down to what it currently is or less, would you be willing to cap my salary + commission (if commission is part of your pay) at current salary + 18%?"

The employer saves money - something they're always willing to do - and you get an increase that you actually get to keep, plus the pleasure of knowing you're sticking it to the ex while being able to live up to your obligations *and* spend time with the kids.

I'm not sure exactly how one would work it, but an understanding potential employer would quite possibly be willing to find a way to make it work for both of you.


And then there's Bunny's suggestion. Count me in. :devil:
 
Hmm... my devious mind suggests that there might be an option to discuss this situation with a potential employer and say, "Since there's a good chance the ex will sue me for additional support if I increase gross income by 20% or more, knocking my effective income back down to what it currently is or less, would you be willing to cap my salary + commission (if commission is part of your pay) at current salary + 18%?"

The employer saves money - something they're always willing to do - and you get an increase that you actually get to keep, plus the pleasure of knowing you're sticking it to the ex while being able to live up to your obligations *and* spend time with the kids.

I'm not sure exactly how one would work it, but an understanding potential employer would quite possibly be willing to find a way to make it work for both of you.


And then there's Bunny's suggestion. Count me in. :devil:

Or possibly some other non-monetary compensation such as a four-tens schedule or a company car or fully paying your health insurance premiums. Something you get value from that the court would be unlikely to put a price tag on.
 
We have 5 children- standard calculation is 40% of my income; he has a right to modify support anytime my salary ncreases by more than 20%.

He has a "right" to everything he's asking for; that (IMO) isn't the same as doing what's in the children's best interest.

I work retail; I don't have a degree and spent 12 years as a full time mother. Its taken 8 years to find the stability I currently have. Thisisas good as it gets for someone like me, but it won't allowme to both support the children and give them the relationship they deserve. And their dad has decided the money is more important than me.

I shouldn't have even mentioned it...

Cattypuss's idea is what I was about to suggest. I know another mum in a similar position to you who gets around it by getting a salary set at a workable level, then extra's such as health insurance, phone/internet accounts, iPad etc., to keep it fair and out of the hands and reach of her greedy former husband. She also had the satisfaction of him showing his real colours to the children when he kicked the eldest out of the house without warning or a place to go when he reached an age he was no longer a financial asset and meal ticket. Of course, he had been badmouthing her up to that point, and succeeded in the children distrusting her, but her son soon found out she was the one he could really count on and is now living with her, going to college, going out with his friends, and looking forward to a happy life.

Catalina:rose:
 
Job hunting is like dating.... lots and lots and lots of frogs. :p

(29 resume's out; three phone interviews to show for it.)

Of course, if my income goes up more than 20%, he's going to sue me. Again. I'm currently trying to ignore that bit and focus on improving things as much as possible... this Pollyanna shit is getting old.

I know the feeling. Good luck:kiss:
 
"Where was God in Aurora?"

This was a serious question discussed on CNN this morning. Are you fucking kidding me? Forget the ridiculousness of the question overall (hey, where is God in Darfur, Syria, you name it?), tell me why a supposedly reputable news organization would discuss "god" in relation to an event such as the shooting in Aurora?
 
@CM - So sorry to hear about your situation.

I went through the whole child support battle with my ex and his very vindictive ex-wife. It really is depressing how the system can punish the non-custodial parent. In the case I was part of, she had remarried a man with no kids and a really good income. Financially, they were doing far better than us, and yet she still went after every penny she could get - with no consideration for how that would effect his time and relationship with the kids.

What I'm saying is, I get it. No chipper advice here, just try and take care of yourself and wherever you can protect your finances, do so.

PM box is always open if you need to vent. :rose:
 
"Where was God in Aurora?"

This was a serious question discussed on CNN this morning. Are you fucking kidding me? Forget the ridiculousness of the question overall (hey, where is God in Darfur, Syria, you name it?), tell me why a supposedly reputable news organization would discuss "god" in relation to an event such as the shooting in Aurora?

CNN ditched the veneer of reputable news organization a long time ago.

In general, though, I have the impression that thinking about god somehow helps some people cope with tragedy. But clearly there is no expectation that this thinking will be logical in any way.

I heard one woman say how grateful she was to god for sparing her family in that theater. People seem to take this as a heartwarming sentiment, even though the logical conclusion to the assumption that god deliberately saved her loved ones is that god couldn't be bothered with saving some others - making her comment deeply offensive to the families who are grieving. But it's not supposed to be rational; it's really just that woman freaking out.

I get a lot more pissed off at attention to the antics of folks like Tim Tebow, who seems to operate under the delusion that god has nothing better to do than help him play football.
 
I get a lot more pissed off at attention to the antics of folks like Tim Tebow, who seems to operate under the delusion that god has nothing better to do than help him play football.
Are you implying that football isn't the most important thing in life? :eek:

TBH, though, I think Tebow's point of view (and that of others like him) is not so much that God is actively helping him to play (and sometimes win) football games, but more that he's thanking his God for his having the strength and skills to do so. Of course, that begs the question of if he didn't practice and strengthen himself through exercise and drills, etc., would he still be (even) as good a player as he is? Or would his God-given abilities and strength carry him through no matter what?

Then I go back to one of the earliest things my great-grandmother used to drill into my head: "God helps those who help themselves." I think, too, that God (if there is one or a whole bunch of gods/goddesses) probably also helps those who help others. I'd like to think so, anyway, though I know of people who essentially give/gave their lives to helping others and got royally screwed in one way or another. In most cases, they didn't feel put upon by their troubles, just felt that the joy they got from their activities in helping others was enough reward in their lives. From my relatively healthy and secure situation, I can't really "get" that POV, but I guess I have to accept it, because they overall seem a reasonably happy bunch.

<Sigh> All this philosophizing is straining my poor brain this early in the morning.
 
"Where was God in Aurora?"

This was a serious question discussed on CNN this morning. Are you fucking kidding me? Forget the ridiculousness of the question overall (hey, where is God in Darfur, Syria, you name it?), tell me why a supposedly reputable news organization would discuss "god" in relation to an event such as the shooting in Aurora?

Because it is an accepted fact that God lives in the USA.
 
Are you implying that football isn't the most important thing in life? :eek:
Ha!

TBH, though, I think Tebow's point of view (and that of others like him) is not so much that God is actively helping him to play (and sometimes win) football games, but more that he's thanking his God for his having the strength and skills to do so. Of course, that begs the question of if he didn't practice and strengthen himself through exercise and drills, etc., would he still be (even) as good a player as he is? Or would his God-given abilities and strength carry him through no matter what?
I got my height and athletic ability from my father, who got them from his. Sure, I busted my ass. But basically, luck of birth is what that is.

It would be unspeakably arrogant & obnoxious for me to claim that some divine being deliberately blessed me, rather than the short awkward kids who desperately wanted a spot and busted their asses but never made the team.

To me, the great irony is the fact that so many people see guys like Tebow as humble.

Then I go back to one of the earliest things my great-grandmother used to drill into my head: "God helps those who help themselves." I think, too, that God (if there is one or a whole bunch of gods/goddesses) probably also helps those who help others. I'd like to think so, anyway, though I know of people who essentially give/gave their lives to helping others and got royally screwed in one way or another. In most cases, they didn't feel put upon by their troubles, just felt that the joy they got from their activities in helping others was enough reward in their lives. From my relatively healthy and secure situation, I can't really "get" that POV, but I guess I have to accept it, because they overall seem a reasonably happy bunch.
My grandpa was fond of the very same saying.

There's an obvious injustice inherent in any list of the people whom god allegedly helps, because of the implicit assumption that there are people he chooses not to help, and the related fact that really bad things happen to really good people on a regular basis.
 
There's an obvious injustice inherent in any list of the people whom god allegedly helps, because of the implicit assumption that there are people he chooses not to help, and the related fact that really bad things happen to really good people on a regular basis.

God doesn't choose to not help someone, He just helps them in other ways. It's up to us to have our heart and mind open to His plan for us and then to use the talents He has given us. If we choose to ignore our innate talents then our unhappiness or perceived lack of talent is on us.
 
God doesn't choose to not help someone, He just helps them in other ways. It's up to us to have our heart and mind open to His plan for us and then to use the talents He has given us. If we choose to ignore our innate talents then our unhappiness or perceived lack of talent is on us.
I can't tell if you're serious or kidding with this.

As humor goes, it's rather dark, isn't it? As serious world view, it's reflective of an extraordinarily privileged perspective (not to mention, breathtakingly presumptuous).
 
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