Ladies - later life first time with a woman

As I reflect on my misspent youth, I passed up so many opportunities to be with other women. I was never in the least bit interested. However, a funny thing has happened as I've added a few years - all the sudden I am all but fixated on the experience of being with another woman sexually.

I'd never cheat on my husband with another man (despite recurrent fantasies along those lines, as well), but I believe if I had a spontaneous invitation from another more experienced woman, I would likely act on it. I don't believe my husband would be upset by that and I don't believe I'd feel guilty if he didn't know.

Anyway, I'm curious (clearly in more ways than one) whether other women have experienced this growing interest over time? If your first experience occurred post-adolescent/young adult hook-up experimental phase, how did it go? Was it what you expected? How did it happen?

My swinging experiences with other men were quite disappointing. But, since I clearly would not have to rely on a woman maintaining an erection, I would at least hope there'd be greater potential for a satisfying outcome.

So, thanks in advance for any input and stories you are comfortable sharing.

Have a wonderful day.
K

I started young with girl's and now that i am older,i meet few older women playing softball and we chat about their curiosity about being with another woman.love to watch their eyes and faces when were talking candidly about sex

who wouldn't like 2 women together?

kingkoll said:

who wouldn't like 2 women together?

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I agree but I am a sex alcoholic

sandra753 said:

I agree but I am a sex alcoholic

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can't go wrong with that

Extra info added for clarrification. Added gay relationships.

I find your thread quite interesting. I heard that women have a tendency of hooking up with other women later in life (I also know that stats on psychological abuse in a lesbian relationship is higher than in gay relationships, but thats another matter)

You never cheated on your husband, do you think you would or wouldn't be cheating on your husband if you did it with a woman? Some people tend to see that since it's with the same sex, it isn't cheating. Not me. Swapping bodily fluids while getting off with another person is cheating on your spouse. No judgement on my part in reflection on you, it's just you never mentioned if you did or didn't.

However, I do think that you are more than eager to experience it since you don't think he would mind if he found out. Are you sure or are you using that view as a justification for your desires.

Quite a few guys do get off on it, especially if there the one who suggested it. I know a guy a few years back, he found out his wife was sleeping with another woman. It broke up his marriage, and he couldn't quite get over the fact that he couldn't satisfy her enough, and sought sex elsewhere, and the other person was a woman. He dated my sister and couldn't trust her even though she gave him no cause, and because of his insecurities he become abusive towards her. He wasn't that way in his marriage. But this is one example and on the scale of things, its tipping towards the extreme end of examples.

Like I said I'm not judging, but if you do value your marriage, then ask him probing questions before probing another woman Other than that, enjoy your journey of self discovery. People are always evolving, and as we get older, more accepting. Go you !

Thank you Sid for such a thoughtful response.

I couldn't see myself having an actual affair, in an on-going sense. And your "swapping bodily fluids" comment is well taken.

However, I would not feel bad about it if I hooked up with a woman on a business trip, or something along those lines where I wouldn't see her again. I would feel bad hooking up with a man because of my husband's insecurities and our discussion over how that would not be acceptable. Not sure if that makes sense, but perhaps since I am hetero and not interested in leaving my marriage, I do not feel my husband would be threatened. And, we have discussed my desire to have a sexual experience with a woman.

I am not concerned about ramification should I ever have such an opportunity. But, I certainly appreciate the caution!!!

I do understand about the one off with the business woman. Myself, never desired to have sex with another woman though I do appreciate the female form, even pussy let me know she appreciated something I seen or someone who walked passed.

Someone asked me if I had done it with another woman. I said no, and wasn't sure if I would be of interest to another woman. So I experimented. There was a woman I knew of several years back. My husband said that she likes women. She knows of me but not seen me. So when I recognized her, as we were waiting for the same transportation, I introduced myself. Started chatting, then I turned my body to hers, engaged in more eye contact, down to her lips, back to her eyes, being engaging and friendly, and she was interested so much she gave me her address. But then she is bi, to compare and contrast I need to do the same with someone I know isn't bi.

But yeah, generally as women age, quite a few do feel as you do.

Yes some do .

It's funny you posted this today, as I was just having this discussion with another Lit member over the last couple of weeks. I was going to keep it private but since you posted this I figured what the heck.

For the last couple of years now I have found myself wondering what my friends look like undressed, or what their breast look like ect. I never considered myself bi or gay and have been happily married for close to 30yrs, and love my hubby very much. I've told him of my resent feelings and surprisingly he was very supportive. It doesn't mean I love him any less or he's not sexually attractive to me any less. This is just something new added to the mix.

This doesn't mean I'm looking for an ongoing relationship or even sex for that matter. Just something I have found myself having feelings about. It's hard to explain.

So to answer your questions Kitty..... no your not alone with these feelings

Vicky

Thanks you, Vicky. You summarized my stance nicely. In the same boat with my hubby.

Just like trying new things (and people!).

I think it's only natural for woman to wonder what if about other women.we all have our curious side

As a man in a relationship with a bisexual woman, I understand that she has needs and desires, mostly physical but not always, that I cannot satisfy in a way another woman can. So when she is with another woman, I do not see it as cheating. I love her no less for it, and sometimes she even shares. and to pre-empt an obvious question- no, she would not mind if I had a physical relationship with another man, although I have no desire to do so. Explore, I say!

I'm not going to go looking. But... if an opportunity should find me on an upcoming business trip. Hmmmmm... I don't know.

Kittyscave said:

I'm not going to go looking. But... if an opportunity should find me on an upcoming business trip. Hmmmmm... I don't know.

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Good for you it can come on at anytime and any place.How does it make you feel when another woman just touches your hand or arm? Any tingling

Kittyscave said:

As I reflect on my misspent youth, I passed up so many opportunities to be with other women. I was never in the least bit interested. However, a funny thing has happened as I've added a few years - all the sudden I am all but fixated on the experience of being with another woman sexually.

I'd never cheat on my husband with another man (despite recurrent fantasies along those lines, as well), but I believe if I had a spontaneous invitation from another more experienced woman, I would likely act on it. I don't believe my husband would be upset by that and I don't believe I'd feel guilty if he didn't know.

Anyway, I'm curious (clearly in more ways than one) whether other women have experienced this growing interest over time? If your first experience occurred post-adolescent/young adult hook-up experimental phase, how did it go? Was it what you expected? How did it happen?

My swinging experiences with other men were quite disappointing. But, since I clearly would not have to rely on a woman maintaining an erection, I would at least hope there'd be greater potential for a satisfying outcome.

So, thanks in advance for any input and stories you are comfortable sharing.

Have a wonderful day.
K

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My wife is almost exactly the same as you. I understand fully (I am very bi curious too) and have told her in no uncertain terms that she has my full consent to have a special girlfriend if the opportunity were to present itself. She is too shy/scared to initiate a relationship and has said she may well be too shy/scared to respond if a woman came onto her but is sure the only way it might happen for her is if she were to be seduced. My only proviso to the consent is that she doesn't hide it from me. Trust is everything.

I can tell you from my own experience my first time with another female was in college and it freaked me out. While I had never experienced an orgasm of that magnitude i was raised that girls did not do that. I went so far as to marry soon after college, anything to try and put that moment out of my head....at the least in the back of my mind. Fast forward several years and circumstances left me home alone quite often. Those old feelings resurfaced. It was at this time I met a lovely older woman andy life changed forever. Definitely age.....mine and hers, had a lot to do with it. I cherish that " first" time and try to make it just as special every time I am with a curious female for the first time. I am now divorced and see every day as a blessing. Especially if I meet a special lady and become friends either here online or in RL.

hottalyssa said:

I can tell you from my own experience my first time with another female was in college and it freaked me out. While I had never experienced an orgasm of that magnitude i was raised that girls did not do that. I went so far as to marry soon after college, anything to try and put that moment out of my head....at the least in the back of my mind. Fast forward several years and circumstances left me home alone quite often. Those old feelings resurfaced. It was at this time I met a lovely older woman andy life changed forever. Definitely age.....mine and hers, had a lot to do with it. I cherish that " first" time and try to make it just as special every time I am with a curious female for the first time. I am now divorced and see every day as a blessing. Especially if I meet a special lady and become friends either here online or in RL.

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If only somebody like you could meet my wife, seduce her and make the experience so special for her. It would please me greatly to know she was being looked after safely.

I really love that blowit is interested in helping his wife. How wonderful to have someone this understanding and supportive.

i had my first experience at 35. i've spent my time since then obsessed with pleasing and exploring my girlfriend to my husbands benefit also. we have group and alone time. i never would have gone through with my feelings without his support. makes wish i had acted on my feelings over a decade ago, but i think a lot had to do with the right woman coming along.

a0808 said:

I, too, am having later in life feelings for women and wanting to experience intimacy and even a relationship. I’ve been married for 25 years and for me this just came out of the blue and began less than a year ago. I would love to act on these feelings and think that I will someday when the timing is right. It’s nice to hear how others found their first time and I’m really curious what changes this had on current relationships and what changes happened going forward.

I really love that blowit is interested in helping his wife. How wonderful to have someone this understanding and supportive.

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There are a few husbands on here with the same attitude as me. Whether or not we are in the minority I cannot say. For me it is all about love and understanding.
Also, just to be clear, my consent to my wife and my willingness to help her is not dependent upon my involvement. Don't get me wrong, if I were invited to watch or to be physically involved with her and her girlfriend I would not turn down the opportunity. But if either one of them didn't like that I have no problem with them having a discreet relationship. Just so long as I wasn't totally excluded and the affair wasn't kept a secret from me then good for her/them I say.
Also my consent does not extend to her seeing a man either behind my back or with my knowledge. Fortunately she shows no signs of wanting to do that. Were it to happen I would absolutely insist on full MMF involvement.

a0808 said:

I, too, am having later in life feelings for women and wanting to experience intimacy and even a relationship. I’ve been married for 25 years and for me this just came out of the blue and began less than a year ago. I would love to act on these feelings and think that I will someday when the timing is right. It’s nice to hear how others found their first time and I’m really curious what changes this had on current relationships and what changes happened going forward.

I really love that blowit is interested in helping his wife. How wonderful to have someone this understanding and supportive.

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Yes. Exactly this. Thanks for chiming in and validating my feelings. Same position here.

My SO has some desires along these lines. Because of personal life-style issues, she is not interested in pursuing beyond fantasy-level, and I'm not pushing her to do so. However, if she found a certain trusted someone, I believe I would be OK with it. Like the gentleman above stated, I would not have to be involved or present, but if asked definitely would not refuse.

bunny4med said:

i had my first experience at 35. i've spent my time since then obsessed with pleasing and exploring my girlfriend to my husbands benefit also. we have group and alone time. i never would have gone through with my feelings without his support. makes wish i had acted on my feelings over a decade ago, but i think a lot had to do with the right woman coming along.

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I think I'll be also

The world is so full of so many different - really different - kinds of people. We all sometimes take it for granted that sex and sexuality is this broad thing/road that everyone has at least 'somewhat' similar ideas about...

There are vastly different kinds of lesbians or people (in this case, women) who will engage in encounters and sex and relationships with other women. They are not all the same.

Believe me, people's capacities and capabilities are really very different.

I have experience with a partner - a one-time National Women's Water-Polo player - who was strongly bisexual when I met her, and there was just never, and never has been, any problems or issues with it. I have never been in an actual sexual multiple with her though. We have kept the two things fairly separate. So far. But the one thing I can say that stands out as markedly different in her attitude compared with many other people's is that neither of us has even the vaguest concern about 'performance' or 'satisfying' anyone or any sense of 'competition' between other partners at all. I think that's a rare thing as far as I can tell, although you know, it's not as rare as is often supposed by the wider population.

Personally, I have to say, everything I know, that is let's say, 'above and beyond' the basics - about sexual style was 'developed' via what women showed me - and that's a fact. In my view some women are significantly better 'lovers' (as in sexual practice) than even the best of males from what I have heard or can tell. And I can't see why this should be a problem for the intelligent male who would welcome the opportunity to learn and extend their knowledge.

WHO you are going to fuck, is easily as important, as THAT you are going to fuck them. For me it counts a lot as to what their personality is like, and who they are as a sexual identity; too many people bring far too much conditionality to their sexuality, and the consequences that go along with the conditions. Which is not their fault in today's world I guess. The desires or wishes, and the reality, of a lot of people's lives are separate things in many cases.

A wonderful person who is also highly and capably sexual - is incredibly rare... The simple fact of sexuality is itself a complex, and complicated thing. Not that many people fully accept what the whole or full picture of sex is; and that applies to both males and females. Most people want an entirely false idea of what they imagine sex is for them.

That is, they imagine some 'new experience' will give them 'more' or 'better.' Whereas, unless you are already 'more' and 'better' yourself - or at least potentially that - both with yourself as well as the 'standard' or 'normal' type of partner, then nothing 'up level' or 'upstream' is going to provide any magic enhancement.

I'm not sure this is the same as your situation, but I had my first MFF last year at the ripe old age of 50. I wrote about it here and here.

I don't think I would describe myself as even bi-curious outside of the threesome format, but it was a lovely way to experience sex with another woman with the added benefits of that 'format', and is something my man and I are definitely keen to repeat.

Would that work for you? No issues of infidelity, since you're both involved. Maybe he'd get something out of it too? Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss privately...