Control In Bedroom

I Need to vent

I'm a submission person sexual i like to have him take control in Bed.I have a Bf that don't,We don't have sex a lot. so i Have a online Dom and he helps but i have a side guy is like a friends w Benfits thing and he likes to choke.
Now normal i can go more 2 weeks before needing him but i want that control i get when his hand is at my throat i want it again but feel I'm being to needy with it trying to hold off but Its hard and when he does come i want it more the control he has.such a turn on.
Sorry going here and there just needed Is this Normal?
Thanks or letting me Vent

Sure, I think it's normal to have those types of urges and needs. If you're not getting them fulfilled at home, then looking other places isn't unusual. An online Dom is a common supplement in that situation, IMO. And when you need more of a physical connection to sate your desires, a friend's with benefit type or part time lover is another choice. So, I think your problem is pretty typical...

However, do you see yourself ever being totally fulfilled in this situation? Personally, I would look for a more long term solution. If you and your bf aren't compatible in that way, and can't find a workable middle ground, it may be fair to you both to consider if it's worth the dissatisfaction caused by staying together. Otherwise, get use to searching for ways to 'scratch your itch'. Sorry if that wasn't what you hoped to hear...

I'm sorry, but have you tried talking to your BF about it?

And also a follow-up question. If your BF does NOT satisfy you sexually - then what's the point? Will you marry him eventually and live your entire life sexually frustrated and unfulfilled? Or will you get tired of it 5 years later and break up?
Because both ways are kind of a stupid thing to do. If you chose the former - you are shooting yourself in the leg where you really don't have to. If you chose the latter, then you've just wasted 5 years of both of your lives.

What I'm saying is, if you don't match well with him in bed - isn't it better to stay friends and find yourself another guy who will fulfill ALL of your needs, sexual included?

Nezhul said:

I'm sorry, but have you tried talking to your BF about it?

And also a follow-up question. If your BF does NOT satisfy you sexually - then what's the point? Will you marry him eventually and live your entire life sexually frustrated and unfulfilled? Or will you get tired of it 5 years later and break up?
Because both ways are kind of a stupid thing to do. If you chose the former - you are shooting yourself in the leg where you really don't have to. If you chose the latter, then you've just wasted 5 years of both of your lives.

What I'm saying is, if you don't match well with him in bed - isn't it better to stay friends and find yourself another guy who will fulfill ALL of your needs, sexual included?

Click to expand...

I second your motion counselor.

Nezhul said:

I'm sorry, but have you tried talking to your BF about it?

And also a follow-up question. If your BF does NOT satisfy you sexually - then what's the point? Will you marry him eventually and live your entire life sexually frustrated and unfulfilled? Or will you get tired of it 5 years later and break up?
Because both ways are kind of a stupid thing to do. If you chose the former - you are shooting yourself in the leg where you really don't have to. If you chose the latter, then you've just wasted 5 years of both of your lives.

What I'm saying is, if you don't match well with him in bed - isn't it better to stay friends and find yourself another guy who will fulfill ALL of your needs, sexual included?

Click to expand...

I have to agree. This is a common situation I have seen several times just in the year I have been on these forums. If you aren't compatible the sooner you get out the better. This is fits you or it does not. If you want a relationship based on D/s then you need to find someone who wants the same things. Talk about it, tell him your needs. The sooner the better.