COVID-19 RESOURCES
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

So what happened to Fetlife?

bemydaddyplease said:
Mine was not a perception of mean, nor is it bluntness I am referring to more nitpicky of every word or phrase used. And it was not noticed just in one group, but five or six that I clicked around in. I know there is a plethora to choose from, but when you move from one to the next and notice the same pattern, you begin to believe that the pattern forms a design for the site.

I'll use what I wrote as an example. The topic was directed to subs on small and unique ideas they have used to please their D. Within it, I said "I know 'everyone is different', but we are many a lot alike in this life...just looking for those special things you have cleverly come up with for your Dom/me to let them know they are the center of your world and their needs come first?"

The hen came in to pick apart this phrase: " to let them know they are the center of your world and their needs come first?"
She wanted to point out that life still had to go on and she had to hold down a job, pay bills, etc and so forth.
Now, I did not really feel, that within my OP, I needed to mention all the caveats of life that obviously would make it impossible to always put our Dom/me as the very center or our world and that their needs would come before anything and everything else. That was clearly my mistake. And when I mentioned that to the hen, the mod told me I was being mean (I wasn't...I was antagonizing) and locked the post.

And the hen's great advice to ways to make your dom/me feel extra special? This, "Sending an occasional message to let them know they are in my thoughts works for me." It made me feel a little sorry for her Dom....but I didn't go that far in my antagonizing...
Click to expand...

Your post made the assumption that everyone has the same perspective. I don't make my dom the center of my anything. My submission comes from a pretty selfish place. It gets my needs met. Service makes me twitch, in a bad way.
 
My experience with FL wasn't overly negative. 1 not so good encounter I had didn't deter me from learning more and talking. Many people were quite nice. And some seemed more out there than I.
The few groups I had joined were decent. I haven't run into any nit picky members,as of yet. For munches making new friends,and get togethers, FL is a good place to start. Just be cautious and not run into a situation blindly.

My second time around in FL is a bit quiet. But then,I'm relearning my way around.
 
SpunThings said:
Your post made the assumption that everyone has the same perspective. I don't make my dom the center of my anything. My submission comes from a pretty selfish place. It gets my needs met. Service makes me twitch, in a bad way.
Click to expand...

I agee with this. I care a great deal about pleasing someone, but at the same time my center is me. I'm definitely selfish and I've never understood the idea that in order to serve you must be selfless. I have needs I need met and I don't cease to be a person with needs. I suppose, I don't think my twitch is a bad way though. :D I want my bits to tingle when I'm told to do something (anything else would feel false).
 
bemydaddyplease said:
Mine was not a perception of mean, nor is it bluntness I am referring to more nitpicky of every word or phrase used. And it was not noticed just in one group, but five or six that I clicked around in. I know there is a plethora to choose from, but when you move from one to the next and notice the same pattern, you begin to believe that the pattern forms a design for the site.

I'll use what I wrote as an example. The topic was directed to subs on small and unique ideas they have used to please their D. Within it, I said "I know 'everyone is different', but we are many a lot alike in this life...just looking for those special things you have cleverly come up with for your Dom/me to let them know they are the center of your world and their needs come first?"

The hen came in to pick apart this phrase: " to let them know they are the center of your world and their needs come first?"
She wanted to point out that life still had to go on and she had to hold down a job, pay bills, etc and so forth.
Now, I did not really feel, that within my OP, I needed to mention all the caveats of life that obviously would make it impossible to always put our Dom/me as the very center or our world and that their needs would come before anything and everything else. That was clearly my mistake. And when I mentioned that to the hen, the mod told me I was being mean (I wasn't...I was antagonizing) and locked the post.

And the hen's great advice to ways to make your dom/me feel extra special? This, "Sending an occasional message to let them know they are in my thoughts works for me." It made me feel a little sorry for her Dom....but I didn't go that far in my antagonizing...
Click to expand...

I get what you're saying. It's exhausting to throw out a question, hoping for a few answers and instead, get your words shredded apart. That's happened here a few times. It's happened to me on Facebook for god's sake.

I chalk it up to different perspectives and *try* to see it a new way, which I like. Although, at times, I think whaaat? Not everyone sees it my way?! :rolleyes:
 
It is interesting that the mod of the newbie thread posted about the very experience I shared here and those who have been there a while said they see it happen from time to time, but this round was the worst they had ever seen it. Yes, I will say I felt validated a bit...
 
There are a couple of moderators or owners of groups on Fet who I find to be the worse at being condescending to newbie questions, pick apart a person for their grammar or spelling errors, or close the a thread for nit-picky reasons.

The last reason is very irritating when I have commented on the soon to be closed thread and in the midst of a pleasant discussion about the topic.

I have left those groups and if I go to join a new group and one of those members are owners or moderators I choose not to join the group. It's not worth the frustration.

I am in the search for a new "home group". My dominant has a group which I moderate but he choses for various reasons to not spend much time on Fet anymore. It was a fun, friendly group where we even have in the rules that no one is allowed to attack a person for their spelling or grammar. For the most part the group has died out.
 
This is just sad.

I used fetlife to get connected to the local scene and also pointed out friends who were interested in the lifestyle to fetlife, to learn something more about it there, and get connected to people.

Making fetlife invite only makes it quite pointless.

I am pretty sure it will sooner or later either change that policy or die.
 
It is different. Made a while new acct cause I couldn't get into my old one,with my friends on it. I'm finding it rather boring this time around. I joined to learn more and meet like minded people for lunches and events. Those aren't easy to find either
 
SassyKatz71 said:
It is different. Made a while new acct cause I couldn't get into my old one,with my friends on it. I'm finding it rather boring this time around. I joined to learn more and meet like minded people for lunches and events. Those aren't easy to find either
Click to expand...

I have no problems with Fetlife at all. I find local Munches easily, have added friends, some from Lit and some from my local community, and for my purposes it's worked really well.

I'm sorry everyone is having some issues over there. I don't think you need an invite anymore to join, that was only for a brief period of time.
 
AKentuckyLady said:
I have no problems with Fetlife at all. I find local Munches easily, have added friends, some from Lit and some from my local community, and for my purposes it's worked really well.

I'm sorry everyone is having some issues over there. I don't think you need an invite anymore to join, that was only for a brief period of time.
Click to expand...

Your experience is very similar to mine. I have a hard time finding discussions there I want to join in on, but for discussion threads I find Lit to be really good.
 
Does anyone know why Fetlife has just banned public sexual pics and videos where blood is visible?

Not really my thing, but concerned about new restrictions and would love to know why they have done this.
 
LucyBee01 said:
Does anyone know why Fetlife has just banned public sexual pics and videos where blood is visible?

Not really my thing, but concerned about new restrictions and would love to know why they have done this.
Click to expand...
Could be they aren't the Canadian government's thing, either. Who knows. Lit has restrictions on pics and stories. Why would Canada be any different?

They've been lucky to be doing pretty much whatever they wanted up to now, so maybe that vacation is over.
 
LucyBee01 said:
Does anyone know why Fetlife has just banned public sexual pics and videos where blood is visible?

Not really my thing, but concerned about new restrictions and would love to know why they have done this.
Click to expand...

The payment system they use often dictates what is and isn't ok. They tend to go with any restrictions that are put forth in order to continue making money. In some cases it is because of restrictions by the Canadian government. The same thing has happened to crush and scat fetishism.
 
US government just shut down Backpage.com for good the other day. Too much sex trafficking or something, was their excuse. Not the same thing, but one of my very rare and very rewarding D/s encounters was through a legitimate provider who advertised on there... Its like, the government is really sticking it to the internet sex scene lately.
 
PaxNurgle said:
US government just shut down Backpage.com for good the other day. Too much sex trafficking or something, was their excuse. Not the same thing, but one of my very rare and very rewarding D/s encounters was through a legitimate provider who advertised on there... Its like, the government is really sticking it to the internet sex scene lately.
Click to expand...

Something tells me that the next four years will get worse in this regard now that the Orange-Headed Inquisition is coming into power.
 
PaxNurgle said:
US government just shut down Backpage.com for good the other day. Too much sex trafficking or something, was their excuse. Not the same thing, but one of my very rare and very rewarding D/s encounters was through a legitimate provider who advertised on there... Its like, the government is really sticking it to the internet sex scene lately.
Click to expand...

De lurking.
Do a search for murders associated to Back page.

Just this past December a sixteen year old was murdered, throat slashed from backpage hook up.October2016, Texas woman accused of pimping 16-year-old on backpage
And it's not just sex trafficking but trafficking of minors.Over forty seven states DA's wanted that site shut. It has been in the news from 2011.
A man killed four women he met or hired through backpage.
So sorry,not just something but a reality.
 
PaxNurgle said:
US government just shut down Backpage.com for good the other day. Too much sex trafficking or something, was their excuse. Not the same thing, but one of my very rare and very rewarding D/s encounters was through a legitimate provider who advertised on there... Its like, the government is really sticking it to the internet sex scene lately.
Click to expand...

Backpage still exists, they've just shut down the adult advertising section.

popparazzi said:
De lurking.
Do a search for murders associated to Back page.

Just this past December a sixteen year old was murdered, throat slashed from backpage hook up.October2016, Texas woman accused of pimping 16-year-old on backpage
And it's not just sex trafficking but trafficking of minors.Over forty seven states DA's wanted that site shut. It has been in the news from 2011.
A man killed four women he met or hired through backpage.
So sorry,not just something but a reality.
Click to expand...

It isn't about the murders. That's something that can happen through meetup groups and dating sites. I suppose when sex work is vilified as it is, it makes it easier to find victims that are looking to be discreet so easier to kill and get away with it. The real problem is that backpage tried to hide the sex trafficking of children by "cleaning" the ads. They filtered certain words and then posted the ads anyway even if the ad indicated the "worker" was underage.

Shutting it down isn't really helpful though. Having a regulated sex worker industry that isn't considered amoral would do far more to put a dent in trafficking than shutting the adverts down.
 
I've noticed a lot of people coming back to Collarspace lately, but it's still 95% fakes and flakes
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
BDSM Thoughts
Replies
18
Views
1K
ouchfeelsgood
O
K
BDSM and Autism: Part 2
Replies
2
Views
339
LustyScribe
LustyScribe
A
For Subbies seeking Dommes.
Replies
2
Views
828
artslut86
A
L
Where have all the good bdsm stories gone?
Replies
13
Views
1K
JiminNC
JiminNC
K
BDSM & Autism Part 1
Replies
2
Views
433
Blase
B
Back
Top