Stories Re-edited looking for feedback

Hey Folks,

I took some comments about the poor grammar in my stories to heart and I found a proof reader to help me re-edit them. Its a slow process to go through all of them but I do intend to clean each and every one of them up and improve the writing as much as possible.

If you have time the following have been updated -

The Festival
A Wedding to Remember
Training Day Fun

I would be interested in knowing what people think now that the grammar shouldn't be as big and impediment to reading them.

Thanks for taking the time.

Reading The Festival. Loving it. Should have feedback (hopefully) today

darkoverlord6 said:

Hey Folks,

I took some comments about the poor grammar in my stories to heart and I found a proof reader to help me re-edit them. Its a slow process to go through all of them but I do intend to clean each and every one of them up and improve the writing as much as possible.

If you have time the following have been updated -

The Festival
A Wedding to Remember
Training Day Fun

I would be interested in knowing what people think now that the grammar shouldn't be as big and impediment to reading them.

Thanks for taking the time.

Click to expand...

I am interested to proof read it. Can you share the hyper links to your story.

Wasn't sure which one you wanted so here is the links to the three I mentioned -

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-festival-6

https://www.literotica.com/s/training-day-fun

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-wedding-to-remember-6

I read most of The Festival before life sucked away ny time. I didn't finish it, but I read enough.

Imagine a story as a pizza. Characters, plot, pacing, growth. Those are your ingredients.

Imagine that the writing is the delivery vehicle. Grammar, spelling, basic structures of written conversations. These are the things that make up how your story is gotten to the reader.

Some people are amazing writers. They are the metaphorical equivalent of a Lamborghini, but their story is weak. Sure, the pizza gets there fast and is still hot, but it tastes bland.

You, darkoverlord6, are an AMAZING storyteller, and your ability to craft a complex tale vastly overshadows your ability to write. The Festival is like having a busted 1971 Gremlin bring me some of the best pizza I've ever tasted.

The writing, even edited, is your weakest area, BUT THAT IS GOOD!! It's considerably easier to learn to write than it is to learn storytelling.

Keep writing. Listen to your editors and try not to lean on them to catch your mistakes. There is no limit to how good you could be if you keep working on your craft.

I am thoroughly impressed, and that is very hard to do

It's clear to me that you have instincts when it comes to storytelling. Listen to them, because they will always lead you to honest, interesting, and nuanced material like this.

Never stop writing.

Mr. or Mrs. Overlord,

I'm not into nonconsent or mind control stories, but you have a bunch in Erotic Couplings.

If you're interested, lmk when you have had one of them revised and I'd be happy to share whatever thoughts I have (for whatever that's worth).

Have a great week!

Thanks so much for the feedback, I really appreciate your insights AwkwardMD. I realize that the writing is my biggest problem and I am working on it. I have a sequel to "The Festival" that I am just about to publish and I am very proud of how it turned out, hopefully my readers will agree.


I have some other story ideas that I am developing while I work on my grammar.

I have some edits pending right now in Erotic Couplings, I will let you know which ones as soon as they post.

Thanks Again

If anyone is interested in giving me some feedback on my latest effort it is at -

https://www.literotica.com/s/my-nanny-is-a-spy

I should point out for those that weren't interested in reading a non-consent story this is an erotic couplings release.

I would appreciate any thoughts.

Thanks!