My New Story- "Nini's Surprise Visit"

TaricJon · Mar 31, 2018

Good evening all,

My new story, "Nini's Surprise Visit" was just posted. A tribute to an online "friend" that I had for over 15 years. Please take a look if you have some time..

Thanks,
Jon

https://www.literotica.com/s/ninis-surprise-visit

MelissaBaby · Mar 31, 2018

I am curious whether this is a one-off or if you intend to write more about these characters.

If it's the former, I imagine it works as pretty good fap material for most readers. There is a good interplay between the couple and your narrative drives forward in a dynamic manner.

If is meant to be more, then it is too rushed. It has the feel of a story you wrote in passion and did not take much of a critical look at in a less passionate mood.

It's bit "blocky." It would read better if broken into smaller paragraphs. I think more dialogue would improve it, and that dialogue should be broken out from those big chunky paragraphs.

But, it's good effort. Good luck with your writing!

TaricJon · Apr 1, 2018

MelissaBaby,

Thank you for reading, and feedback. This was a one-off; a little surprise for the girl I'd been talking with over long distances for so many years. I actually wrote this story a few years ago, but never posted it here. My only previous attempt at a longer multi-part story was called "My Cousin Mandy," which is posted under a different name, It can be found on the "Favorites" section of my profile. Even that is only three parts though. All of the stories in "Favorites" are mine, and I think all are at least a decade old.

In the past, I've always written for this site with the idea that people wanted somewhat short masturbation material. For the first time, I'm now writing a much longer novella. I've been working on it for about two months now, and my goal is to be finished by the end of the summer. It's ultimately a love story between a guy and trans-girl, and consumes a lot of my thoughts and spare time.

I'm starting to read "Mary and Alvin" now. Lately, I've been reading longer part stories here to see how the authors are dealing with the pacing, and chapter break questions (when to break? sex in every chapter? reader response?) that I have, related to a site like this.

I've decided not to post any part until the story is completed and edited.

Again, thank you for reaching out. I look forward to reading your stories.

xo,
Jon

MelissaBaby · Apr 1, 2018

TaricJon said:
MelissaBaby,

Thank you for reading, and feedback. This was a one-off; a little surprise for the girl I'd been talking with over long distances for so many years. I actually wrote this story a few years ago, but never posted it here. My only previous attempt at a longer multi-part story was called "My Cousin Mandy," which is posted under a different name, It can be found on the "Favorites" section of my profile. Even that is only three parts though. All of the stories in "Favorites" are mine, and I think all are at least a decade old.

In the past, I've always written for this site with the idea that people wanted somewhat short masturbation material. For the first time, I'm now writing a much longer novella. I've been working on it for about two months now, and my goal is to be finished by the end of the summer. It's ultimately a love story between a guy and trans-girl, and consumes a lot of my thoughts and spare time.

I'm starting to read "Mary and Alvin" now. Lately, I've been reading longer part stories here to see how the authors are dealing with the pacing, and chapter break questions (when to break? sex in every chapter? reader response?) that I have, related to a site like this.

I've decided not to post any part until the story is completed and edited.

Again, thank you for reaching out. I look forward to reading your stories.

xo,
Jon

I would be very pleased to read your thoughts on my writing.

I started posting at Lit to have place to publish My Fall and Rise. Writing it was a compulsion, something I felt I had to do, and I really did not give any thought to whether or not to submit it chapter by chapter, I just did so. I also wrote it pretty fast, as it was basically memoir. I published 13 chapters in 13 weeks.

When I decided to try my hand at more fictional work and began Mary and Alvin, I did consider whether or not to publish as I went along, or wait until I finished.

The down side of submitting chapter by chapter is the time issue. You will definitely shed readers as you go along, and the longer the gap between installments, the more you'll lose. On the other hand, those who stick with it will be loyal readers.

I wrote the first chapter of M&A and then wrote the ending.I know that's a weird way of doing things, but it's what works for me. Start the trip, choose the destination, and enjoy the journey. As I sketched out my plans, Mary and Alvin's journey started looking longer and longer, and I realized it will likely take more than a year to finish. ( I also started school and got engaged, so, there's some time management issues, right there.) I did not like the idea of going silent for so long, so I decided to publish as I go. Neither choice is right or wrong, it's just finding what works for you.

ElectricBlue · Apr 1, 2018

TaricJon said:
I'm starting to read "Mary and Alvin" now. Lately, I've been reading longer part stories here to see how the authors are dealing with the pacing, and chapter break questions (when to break? sex in every chapter? reader response?) that I have, related to a site like this.

I've decided not to post any part until the story is completed and edited.

As you are, to all intents and purposes, a new writer here, I think that's a wise choice. At this time, you don't have a reader base to keep happy with new material, so a long piece released all in one hit, or in frequent, regular chapters once it's complete, will do you no harm.

Melissa has pointed out the downside of the alternate approach, to release as you go - simply put, life gets in the way (congratulations MB, I had missed your engagement - that's wonderful).

The problem arises when you do have a following, and then plan a major work. My solution (I started writing a hubris project, a stupid big thing, ten month's ago, which might be done sometime in the next 3-4 months) has been to release shorter one-offs to keep my name alive. The problem there is, the short one-offs get a larger life - my.latest "side project" is now 16k and counting...

Good luck with your novella, Jon.

MelissaBaby · Apr 2, 2018

electricblue66 said:
Melissa has pointed out the downside of the alternate approach, to release as you go - simply put, life gets in the way (congratulations MB, I had missed your engagement - that's wonderful).

Thank you very much.

Life can also provide you with more source material...

:rose:

TaricJon · Apr 3, 2018

I'm on Chapter 5 of "My Fall and Rise," and am loving the difficult journey. I've commented a couple of times within the story.

Thank you.

MelissaBaby · Apr 3, 2018

TaricJon said:
I'm on Chapter 5 of "My Fall and Rise," and am loving the difficult journey. I've commented a couple of times within the story.

Thank you.

I appreciate your comments. Thank you very much.

My New Story- "Nini's Surprise Visit"

TaricJon

Experienced

MelissaBaby

Wordy Bitch

TaricJon

Experienced

MelissaBaby

Wordy Bitch

ElectricBlue

Connoisseur

MelissaBaby

Wordy Bitch

TaricJon

Experienced

MelissaBaby

Wordy Bitch

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