Just one Line.

Marcus Vitelli was a lot of things; some good, many bad, but the one thing he would never be was his father.
 
There was one truly informative bit; I found out what a Reverse Cowgirl was although I couldn't name it yet and of course I had no one to try it with.
 
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Galatea ran a chilled finger serpentine down Dee's chest, making him shiver. "Dee, I just wanted to claim you, devour you whole, to make you feel the way you'd made me feel. To lock you away deep inside me and keep you cumming and cumming until there was nothing left of you." Her frozen fingertip snaked down his abdomen, traced up the shaft of his cock and batted gently on its head. "But I didn't want to piss you off.”
 
Alex grunted as he pushed her face down against his desk and entered her. She'd teased him mercilessly for months and he'd finally submitted to his desires....
 
Wrote this today:

Li kissed Josephine so passionately she didn't notice her professor unzipping her skirt until it fell to the floor beside her discarded blouse.
 
"The way I see it, from what you've told us, you all did us a favor a couple of million years ago and have been dining out on it ever since. It was about time you earned your keep again."
 
“That pathetic Chuck, he couldn’t find a clitoris if a chart was attached to the headboard.”
 
I quoted part of this in another thread not long ago, so I hesitate. Oh, what the hell.

"The soft fabric shaped around the contours of Stephanie’s breasts without interference from a bra. Her eyes met mine when I looked up, and she smiled. There was no secret where I’d been looking. What I’d been thinking was, ‘more than a mouthful is wasted.’ Stephanie was very efficient."
 
“Of course,” I say, taking a quick puff from my cigarette and pulling it from my lips, smiling. “Why wouldn’t I?”
 
“Your old woman didn’t run away,” Mel said softly, a statement not a question, “you fucked her to death and buried her in that weedy patch out back.”
 
From Central High Blues Ch. 04:

"I just needed to figure out what to tell Trina about it. I really wanted to be completely open and honest with her, to share the unvarnished truth. I decided to do exactly that. I would share the truth with her, generously and equitably.

I would give her half of it."

Okay, it is more than one line...but you need the setup for the line to be cool.
 
Santa paused his search and turned to look at her, clearly bemused. "There's no such thing as the Easter Bunny, Virginia. What kind of rosy fantasy world do you live in?"

- Miracle On RR34, Chapter 1
 
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He woke up with a headache. No, that’s not right; he woke with the Mother of All Headaches. His mouth was like the inside of a birdcage, his throat felt parched and if asked about his guts, he’d have said ‘don’t ask’. He staggered to the bathroom to relieve himself and try to sort himself out. A decent shave would help, although whether this effort might best be accomplished with his Gillette wet razor or his electric one was in some doubt. He drew several deep breaths and tried to force himself upright and in control. He was only partly successful.
 
From “BFF” chapter 9:

“Tight black leather outfits, sexy red lips and a taste for cock. I know a slut when I see one,” his text reads.
 
Fortunately, he was lost in the eternal struggle of man: the war of fitting an erect penis into your trousers first thing in the morning.
 
Then promptly, and without indecision, you obey my summons. And in that brief yet meaningful kiss, I know you give yourself away to me.

- A Flame in the Night, Ch. 07
 
From “A Slut’s Triangle” chapter 3:

"That thought has crossed my mind,” I admit, feeling the effects of my alcohol, "but with my luck, if I had a pussy, I'd probably be a lesbian."
🌹Kant👠👠👠
 
I'm actually wondering if I should split this one up because it seems long. Just not sure where to split it.

He smells different. Clean. I’m not sure if I like it. I’m so used to all of our own natural scents. It’s not like we can just jump in the shower or take a bath whenever the mood hits, or the need arises, and yeah we probably could clean ourselves more often than we do, which is maybe once a week now that it’s gotten colder out, but I think I’ve gotten so used to our own natural scents that Eddie smelling like soap is almost distasteful to my nose.
 

“Don’t even think of welshing,” my cousin Rob chuckled as he leered at me across the tavern table.
 
I'm actually wondering if I should split this one up because it seems long. Just not sure where to split it.

He smells different. Clean. I’m not sure if I like it. I’m so used to all of our own natural scents. It’s not like we can just jump in the shower or take a bath whenever the mood hits, or the need arises, and yeah we probably could clean ourselves more often than we do, which is maybe once a week now that it’s gotten colder out, but I think I’ve gotten so used to our own natural scents that Eddie smelling like soap is almost distasteful to my nose.

Quoted from the source of great wisdom...the WEB :eek:

In informal writing, an ellipsis can be used to represent a trailing off of thought.

If only she had . . . Oh, it doesn’t matter now.

An ellipsis can also indicate hesitation, though in this case the punctuation is more accurately described as suspension points.

I wasn’t really . . . well, what I mean . . . see, the thing is . . . I didn’t mean it.

Like the exclamation point, the ellipsis is at risk of overuse.

*****

This may be the wrong thread to discuss this, but; I tend to use the ellipsis quite a bit to indicate a longer pause than the comma. I may be guilty of using it too much. But, I thought your sentence read fine as it is...but maybe the last part would have had just a lingering moments thought before continuing? "once a week now that it’s gotten colder out...but I think I’ve gotten so used to our own natural scents that Eddie smelling like soap is almost distasteful to my nose."

Like I said, this topic has probably already been discussed somewhere else, just thought I'd ask.
 
Quoted from the source of great wisdom...the WEB :eek:

In informal writing, an ellipsis can be used to represent a trailing off of thought.

If only she had . . . Oh, it doesn’t matter now.

An ellipsis can also indicate hesitation, though in this case the punctuation is more accurately described as suspension points.

I wasn’t really . . . well, what I mean . . . see, the thing is . . . I didn’t mean it.

Like the exclamation point, the ellipsis is at risk of overuse.

*****

This may be the wrong thread to discuss this, but; I tend to use the ellipsis quite a bit to indicate a longer pause than the comma. I may be guilty of using it too much. But, I thought your sentence read fine as it is...but maybe the last part would have had just a lingering moments thought before continuing? "once a week now that it’s gotten colder out...but I think I’ve gotten so used to our own natural scents that Eddie smelling like soap is almost distasteful to my nose."

Like I said, this topic has probably already been discussed somewhere else, just thought I'd ask.

I love ellipses!

I'm always afraid I use them too much, but probably half of what I write is my protagonist thinking, pondering, internalizing life, so maybe I use them in the right instances.

Thanks :D
 
I love ellipses!

I'm always afraid I use them too much, but probably half of what I write is my protagonist thinking, pondering, internalizing life, so maybe I use them in the right instances.

Thanks :D

I don't think I've ever used them for anything other than dialogue, for which I think they are a very useful device.
 
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