(needs help with female half) College dorm goof up/ ying and yang personality

closed... trashing the idea

Hi there, My basic idea is the college goofed up putting me in a room with a female. Are personality's would be very different. Like ones soft spoken and very brainy where the other is loud and very out going. At first they don't like each other but in time find perks in each others personality. Maybe the loud outgoing one needs a tutor and the roommate torturers them.. The shy one can find perks like if they are being bothered after class they are to passive to report the harassment. They go to the strong roommate about it and poses as a lover to get the creeps to leave them alone.

At first I see allot of friction with them. They may not like having to share the dorm bedroom with each other but they don't want to give up the room that is near class.

I also see sexual tension there too. How odd to bring a date home when you got the other gender there with you. I could see this putting off the guys the female may want to bring home.

In time I can see them warming up slowly and start building a good relationship of friendship and in time more.

First of all, you meed someone to write the whole story for you. Your grammar and word use need help. I'm not being mean or critical, I just want to help people improve their skills.
Your synopsis is kind of old school romantic. I doubt I'd read it.

Sorry my typing isn't up to par for you falcon. I will try to improve my writing skills. Do you mind showing some of your stories?

Falcon is right about grammar and your homonyms.

This story does sound like a bit of a regular old rom-com with an odd couple. Has it been done to death? Definitely. Is it also an unlikely set up? Yes that too.

This isn't grabbing my attention yet either, but you could do an odd couple romance somehow if you worked on it.

Maybe if instead of a University dorm assignment error...they are both students with few monetary resources...the "room" is in one of those old houses that has been chopped up into apartments (this even adds the fact of a shared bathroom= more tension), but even that lower rent is a burden. (this takes away the more unbelievable University mistake...and provides more privacy for the story events).

One of the characters rents the room and realizes they could squeeze in a roommate and place the ad...alas, no takers. Finally the other character, desperate for housing because they put off finding something too long, calls...and despite both having reservations, they make the deal to share it.

I think you could work the different personalities into this set-up easier because they both have no other good choices for housing...thus they both learn patience, compromise and they begin to modify offensive behavior (a nice tension point...maybe a big blow-out...the renter storms out... but they realize they actually need one another (in more ways than one?)). Your ideas of "friction" seems very likely to me. maybe eventually they become friends in a "wing-man" sort of way...but over time, attraction blooms...and they begin to see what's been in front of their eyes all the time, etc.

I don't think there are many truly unique stories. In the millions of stories written over time, the basic arcs have been repeated over and over. The key, in my opinion, is to use the story plot to work to a conclusion that you see. What is the message you want to give to the world here? Is it love, friendship, lust, kindness, evil, manipulation, or...? I think you already have the end in mind: They warm up...a friendship blossoms...friendship leads to love.

An important thing too; What category to post it in? At this point it seems more of a basic Romance to me. If that's where you intend to put it, remember that Romance readers are pretty sophisticated. There needs to be a real story there. Another option might be Erotic Couplings. Hope some of this helps, and best wishes to you!

yukonnights said:

I don't think there are many truly unique stories. In the millions of stories written over time, the basic arcs have been repeated over and over. The key, in my opinion, is to use the story plot to work to a conclusion that you see. What is the message you want to give to the world here? Is it love, friendship, lust, kindness, evil, manipulation, or...? I think you already have the end in mind: They warm up...a friendship blossoms...friendship leads to love.

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Or totally work backward. You already have a setup, even a choice of setups, so you know who and where the players are. Visualize an ending you want, maybe a specific image -- they're kissing or fighting or fucking, or quietly silhouetted by a full moon, or running from an angry mob, or she's lounging naked in an easy chair with a newspaper and cigar while he dusts, dressed as a French maid. Whatever. Now work back from that final image to the opening scenes. What was their route from A to B? That's your story.

Hypoxia said:

Or totally work backward. You already have a setup, even a choice of setups, so you know who and where the players are. Visualize an ending you want, maybe a specific image -- they're kissing or fighting or fucking, or quietly silhouetted by a full moon, or running from an angry mob, or she's lounging naked in an easy chair with a newspaper and cigar while he dusts, dressed as a French maid. Whatever. Now work back from that final image to the opening scenes. What was their route from A to B? That's your story.

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That's a very creative idea. Might be a tad harder to craft due to the retrospective unwinding...but it would be more unique and adds a nice spin on it. (I need to remember to try this approach one day)

yukonnights said:

That's a very creative idea. Might be a tad harder to craft due to the retrospective unwinding...but it would be more unique and adds a nice spin on it. (I need to remember to try this approach one day)

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My snarky Under His Eyes started from a James Thurber cartoon. Snark works well when the ending image is twisted or at least non-vanilla. Another that grew from a punchline is Make Me Scream! In both of those, the ending suggested the setting and the rest was straightforward.

Try an exercise. Leaf slowly through a set of non-abstract still images. See each as the final frame of a video presentation. Imagine what led there. That's more plot bunnies than a normal human can handle, ay yi yi!

Hypoxia said:

My snarky Under His Eyes started from a James Thurber cartoon. Snark works well when the ending image is twisted or at least non-vanilla. Another that grew from a punchline is Make Me Scream! In both of those, the ending suggested the setting and the rest was straightforward.

Try an exercise. Leaf slowly through a set of non-abstract still images. See each as the final frame of a video presentation. Imagine what led there. That's more plot bunnies than a normal human can handle, ay yi yi!

Click to expand...

Very creative stories Hypoxia. I also like the exercise you suggested as a good way to loosen up the mind and the muse. I'll take input/tips/suggestions when and where I find them, so thank you

Take a look

JonathanBair said:

Sorry my typing isn't up to par for you falcon. I will try to improve my writing skills. Do you mind showing some of your stories?

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I have several stories posted here and on storiesonline.net under the same name.

yukonnights said:

Maybe if instead of a University dorm assignment error...they are both students with few monetary resources...the "room" is in one of those old houses that has been chopped up into apartments (this even adds the fact of a shared bathroom= more tension), but even that lower rent is a burden. (this takes away the more unbelievable University mistake...and provides more privacy for the story events).

One of the characters rents the room and realizes they could squeeze in a roommate and place the ad...alas, no takers. Finally the other character, desperate for housing because they put off finding something too long, calls...and despite both having reservations, they make the deal to share it.

I think you could work the different personalities into this set-up easier because they both have no other good choices for housing...thus they both learn patience, compromise and they begin to modify offensive behavior (a nice tension point...maybe a big blow-out...the renter storms out... but they realize they actually need one another (in more ways than one?)). Your ideas of "friction" seems very likely to me. maybe eventually they become friends in a "wing-man" sort of way...but over time, attraction blooms...and they begin to see what's been in front of their eyes all the time, etc.

I don't think there are many truly unique stories. In the millions of stories written over time, the basic arcs have been repeated over and over. The key, in my opinion, is to use the story plot to work to a conclusion that you see. What is the message you want to give to the world here? Is it love, friendship, lust, kindness, evil, manipulation, or...? I think you already have the end in mind: They warm up...a friendship blossoms...friendship leads to love.

An important thing too; What category to post it in? At this point it seems more of a basic Romance to me. If that's where you intend to put it, remember that Romance readers are pretty sophisticated. There needs to be a real story there. Another option might be Erotic Couplings. Hope some of this helps, and best wishes to you!

Click to expand...

To be honest, I don't know where it would be posted. If I had a more dom female char. It could go into the Fetish area... I do think most likely it would have gone into the Erotic Couplings.

I do like the idea of being in a old house and they find they need another housemate. It keeps to the same kinda idea of things heating up at home and there personality slowly sync up into a relationship bit more closer then just someone to live with.

Really it depends on the Yin Yang personality's that you decide on, if you just need them to be surface opposites then It would follow many of the Rom-com style stories ie. he's aggressive frat bro while she is a shy nerd with a hot bod or he is a smart scholarship student while she is a messy rich kid hut here to party.

If you want to go deeper on the personality differences then I would start by breaking down the key events that would have their personality's clash such as cleaning dishes and laundry, boundary issues, how they deal with the delivery boy, and their judgments of each other. This way you can flush out each character with tension and arguments but then they end up resolving it with sex (angry or drunk ect.) but it's not like they fall for each other as much as that ends up being a way for their cohabitation.

After you have both characters personality's figured out then we get into the events of the time together, starting off with hostility and tension leading to a climax where they end up fucking and then have them separate back to their own lives until one or the other initiates sex again. You don't need to follow any forgone conclusions where they end up together because even after having sex they don't need to fell better or happy about it.

Maeven_quinn said:

Falcon is right about grammar and your homonyms.

This story does sound like a bit of a regular old rom-com with an odd couple. Has it been done to death? Definitely. Is it also an unlikely set up? Yes that too.

This isn't grabbing my attention yet either, but you could do an odd couple romance somehow if you worked on it.

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Agree with what both of you.

When I was in college, I had a male roommate. To me, the gender of the roommate isn't a big deal. I've had several male roommates. Only once was there romance, mainly on his part. Another man in my life who wouldn't have sex with me. Yep.

It's an excellent basic idea for a story, with all sorts of great possibilities. It just needs a hook to make it original and interesting. It all depends on what turns you on.

There are all kinds of ways of spinning this as a "sexy odd couple" story, where they start out seeming incompatible but are drawn to each other in the end.

One could be a voyeur, and one an exhibitionist.

One could a dom, and one a sub.

One could be a masochist, the other a sadist.

One could be sexually experienced, the other sexually naive but willing.

Endless possibilities. But only you can figure out what's going to make it fun for you.

It technically does not have to be a sexual odd couple as neither of them have to enjoy the sex or get together after.

You could have them use sex as a way to blow off steam, keep the other person quiet (both literally or as a black mail thing), or even to prove a point or win an argument.

As long as you take it to the real world and don't get caught in the movie type setting that have been done before you can draw out the story in many ways including having one of them be some kind of serial killer, eccentric that is just doing this as a test of the other person either to target them or use them to pass the time.

SimonDoom said:

There are all kinds of ways of spinning this as a "sexy odd couple" story, where they start out seeming incompatible but are drawn to each other in the end.

One could be a voyeur, and one an exhibitionist.

One could a dom, and one a sub.

One could be a masochist, the other a sadist.

One could be sexually experienced, the other sexually naive but willing.

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Those are all complementary, not opposites -- not contradictory politics, religions, lifestyles: devout vs atheist, prude vs sensualist, etc. I know vegan vs carnivore can work if the vegan surrenders. Surrender solves everything.

But "opposites attract" is a myth. If they seem opposite, they won't join. So the trick is to make them SEEM incompatible but then find and exploit their commonality. One is a smelly jock, the other a neatnik boffin, but they both love Ren & Stimpy or or whatever.

I would like to thank you all for the feed back, but as pointed out about the poor writing skills. I think I will just scrap the idea on here..

JonathanBair said:

I would like to thank you all for the feed back, but as pointed out about the poor writing skills. I think I will just scrap the idea on here..

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JB, I'd encourage you to not scrap this. Your writing is fine, IMO. These posts are often written quickly and not intended as literary works or art. The main thing is; You have a decent idea for a story...it's a story that's playing in your head and only you can let it out for the rest of us to read. If you'd like to ask any questions on how to do it, feel free to drop me a message and I'll try to answer any questions you may have.

Thank you yukonnights. I am not sure on how I will have there personalitys. Was kinda hoping a co-writer would help pin down there personality and I can try to go off that... I will keep this in mind for my next story tho

Don't let other peoples opinion on your writing get in the way of you expressing yourself, just live your truth, It's not like anyone on here is a professional author this is all just to express and share our own thoughts and fantasies.

As far as pinning down the characters personalities I would suggest going the way of.

HE- is a schedule oriented person that worries about paying bills getting to work and the gym on time but deep down just wants to let loose and relax when he has the chance he just does not know how to truly relax.

SHE- is a laid back party girl that goes out in overly revealing clothing and rave outfits all the time, and while she is fit she eats junk food and leaves her bed a mess so she needs some one to carry the responsibilities for her.

Right away they both loosely need each other for bills and expenses but they don't get along very well, but they also never really see each other because she is gone all the time when he is home and he is busy when she is there, finally conflict over bills and attitudes leads to her accusing him of being up tight and he calls her loose and to prove a point they both fuck the other. Then when they wake up after a wild night he feels more relaxed and she acts like it's nothing, until she comes home from partying and wants more dick so he fucks her again.

When ever he gets to stressed and freak out about bill she just drains him dry and when she gets out of control partying he fucks her she she can't walk the next day. Both ways it's just convenient to have a at home cum bucket/ thick cock to help you deal with life and at the end of the day they are not in a relationship so it doesn't interfere with who they are.

blackmohammed offered up some sound advice.

This is long, but if it helps...
*****
To build on what blackmohammed said: I know everyone approaches writing a story differently. Usually there's just a spark of an idea, but it has to be fleshed out. I'm not a professional by any stretch, so take or leave any of this...the way I find some direction is to write a loose outline of the story arc. As an example;

Step One: Basic idea description/General story arc: Young college age room-mates go from; initial meeting...mild annoyance...to frustration...to anger...eventually one leaves the arrangement in anger which could be disastrous financially to both...something happens to bring them back together???...they finally see another side of one another...understanding slowly leads to attraction...attraction leads into an intimate moment...resolution to story??? (note: This is just an example, the same kind of progression would be just as valid if it ended in a double homicide )

At this point I may not have a clue about all those points. But, I think it's important at the beginning to try and at least get an idea of them all in order to actually go from beginning to end and have a complete story. Otherwise I'll just go off on a tangent writing a bunch of stuff that is going nowhere until eventually I see it's boring as all get out.

Step Two; General description of major characters and names: Male student=Romeo Jackson, Female student=Roxi Lamour

Romeo Jackson= pre-law student, single child of poor single mother, little or no sexual experience with a girl, almost neurotic in need for organization (maybe because of his chaotic childhood, ADD, etc)

Roxi Lamour= undeclared major, single child of indulgent middle class parents, still has her cheerleader uniform from high school, lost her cherry at 18 and never looked back, extroverted and shallow on the outside...but insecure and wishes there was something more to life, has lots of casual friends but no one who really knows her, cries often at night in bed, her wild ways cover up a deep inner feeling of inadequacy or loneliness or?, etc.

Step Three; Either start at the beginning and work to the end, or whichever section seems the most clear at this point, maybe it's the end. (I prefer to work from the beginning because it keeps it organized and less loose ends I forgot to tie together, etc) Then just let the story and the characters develop and lead the way. The outline may become obsolete and/or need updating. Keep adding to the story until you think it has said what you wanted to say.

There's one other thing that I think is helpful to me; I always have a message I hope comes through the story. I was taught that "message" can also be called the "moral of the story" or the "theme" of the story -> From my thesaurus; the theme: subject, topic, subject matter, thesis, argument, burden, concern, thrust, message; thread, motif, keynote.

For the example above, I would peg the theme as; Love overcomes all (because despite the bumps life had thrown at the two... in the end they found love together, etc.) Again, this could be the exact opposite if that is what the author wanted to say.

Hope that helps ~

I'm by no means an expert story writer, but I think the key to making the mix-up sound plausible is in the little details. The guy's name needs to be one that could easily be mistaken for a girl.

Whether you want to go with modern names like Taylor or Jordan, something a little more classic like Kelly, Jesse or Shannon, choosing the name here makes a difference IMO.

I like Leslie. It is a bit old fashioned for a guy. It could be a family name and he's been stuck with it his whole life.

I like the set up. Lots of good ideas here.