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Collar types

metrifonate

metrifonate

Really Experienced
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Sep 17, 2016
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For those who wear or use a collar what is your prefernce. Elegant and feminine, black leather, posture, small? Also leash preference, leather, metal chain etc.
 
As someone who wears a collar full-time, I cannot imagine anything that was obvious as a collar. My current one is a pendant, but we'll be switching to something weight-bearing (steel chain mail) once the contract is signed.
 
Etoile said:
As someone who wears a collar full-time, I cannot imagine anything that was obvious as a collar. My current one is a pendant, but we'll be switching to something weight-bearing (steel chain mail) once the contract is signed.
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A collar is fairly obvious , although some can be more discrete than others. Chain mail is an excellent choice.
 
A collar can be just a regular necklace or bracelet worn ever day. The meaning of it is between dom and sub
 
metrifonate said:
A collar is fairly obvious , although some can be more discrete than others. Chain mail is an excellent choice.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure what you mean by "a collar is fairly obvious" - like firefighterscott said, it's about the meaning the individuals give it. As I said, mine is a pendant. Sir had it custom-made for me from silver, with a symbol that is important to us. It doesn't "look like" a collar, but it absolutely is a collar...
 
As a Dom (...currently sub-less!), I have more than a dozen or so collars that I have used with partners along with any that they may have owned and brought to the party!

Can't say that I have a favourite - what collar is worn would usually be dependent on the situation and scene being enacted, but if I had to choose it would probably be a classic simple, wide, black, tight fitting, leather collar with a single 'O' ring at the front - but one that I had made with a 'pin' closure through interlocking fingers at the back so no buckle to add bulk.

I would always get a buzz from getting my sub to choose a collar or I would choose one and then 'asking' (not telling her) to put it on herself ...usually along with other items such as wrist and ankle cuffs, nipple clamps etc.

I also used to enjoy getting them to wear them in public ...not a discrete collar, but discretely hidden with a scarf or turtle neck top - I enjoyed seeing them being conscious of it around their necks and how they would always 'check' or 'adjust' the scarf or top making sure the collar beneath wasn't visible.
 
We use three collars, a day wear collar, a dress collar, and a play collar, and only one of them is a collar.

The day wear is a belled and very jingly anklet, courtesy of the RenFaire, and looks like something a belly dancer might wear. It 's worn to work, fits under a sock (which helps stop her from jingling all day) and can be worn under boots if she shops right.

The dress wear is a charm bracelet the charms of which have meanings to use the casual observer would never suspect.

The play collar we purchased on line and is a wee steel collar with multiple D-rings and a hasp.
 
firefighterscott said:
A collar can be just a regular necklace or bracelet worn ever day. The meaning of it is between dom and sub
Click to expand...

Exactly. Matter of fact a literal collar is just not realistic these days with privacy and personal life concerns. It is the meaning or the "marking" that counts, or whatever works for the couple. I had purchased a couple collars for my sub only to find out that they are really not practical for daily life and 24-hour wear. Really I never thought they would be. Though I'll have her wear an actual leather collar at times. But to substitute for the literal collar for daily wear I have purchased her all kinds of jewelry options (ring, several sets of earrings, anklets, bracelets, necklaces, panties and even special socks) and have instructed her that she is to wear one or more of these gifts from her Dom at all times, other than showering or if there is a danger with wearing the jewelry in some aspects of her life, which there is with some of her activities. But otherwise when she sleeps or works or whatever she is doing, she is to be marked as my property with her symbolic collars. She enjoys this responsibility and has told me that she'll even wear several of them at times to feel closer.
 
My wife wanted to be branded, we compromised on scarification. For her, that is her "truest" collar.
 
SilverBass said:
Exactly. Matter of fact a literal collar is just not realistic these days with privacy and personal life concerns. It is the meaning or the "marking" that counts, or whatever works for the couple. I had purchased a couple collars for my sub only to find out that they are really not practical for daily life and 24-hour wear. Really I never thought they would be. Though I'll have her wear an actual leather collar at times. But to substitute for the literal collar for daily wear I have purchased her all kinds of jewelry options (ring, several sets of earrings, anklets, bracelets, necklaces, panties and even special socks) and have instructed her that she is to wear one or more of these gifts from her Dom at all times, other than showering or if there is a danger with wearing the jewelry in some aspects of her life, which there is with some of her activities. But otherwise when she sleeps or works or whatever she is doing, she is to be marked as my property with her symbolic collars. She enjoys this responsibility and has told me that she'll even wear several of them at times to feel closer.
Click to expand...


I completely agree with you. Its not always possible to wear a
"Collar" especially in some work places. Simplistic is often necessary with the significance simply for you and your partner.
 
My wife wants to wear a collar but has found her leather one to be too tight on her neck (she loves the smell of leather). Could a nice leather or metal one be suggested to fit her likings?
 
Greenman10 said:
My wife wants to wear a collar but has found her leather one to be too tight on her neck (she loves the smell of leather). Could a nice leather or metal one be suggested to fit her likings?
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In my experience I'd avoid the metal ones like the plague. I bought my sub a nice silver collar with gold plating, and while beautiful, I just don't think she found it comfortable or practical at all. Metal chain is different of course, and instead of a thick leather collar there are always the leather rope collars, real thin like a string but made of black leather. So many options, just a matter of what you find attractive, comfortable and applicable to your needs.
 
Metal collars just about have to be custom made to be serviceable, which does drive the cost up considerably.
 
Greenman10 said:
My wife wants to wear a collar but has found her leather one to be too tight on her neck (she loves the smell of leather). Could a nice leather or metal one be suggested to fit her likings?
Click to expand...

Have you looked at Eternity Collars. Cost varys by materials involved. However they lock!
 
collars

My slave wear a phantom black Eternity Collar.
They don't make them anymore. it's a shame. it's a beautiful piece but it voids the hiding amunst the vanilla sheep lol
 
My pet and I initially liked the idea of a subtle but locking collar that she would wear 24/7 that only I could open. But when it got down to logistics and the practicality of it all, we actually realized it was literally dangerous, as accidents can happen, something can get caught in it, she could actually be hooked or who knows what other freak accidents can happen, especially with all of her dancing and ballet and physical activities. So even though we liked the idea, it really is not safe and we'd avoid a locking collar and any kind of jewelry or accessory that can't come off relatively easily. Always safety first, otherwise you are taking a risk.
 
My sister, who has no idea I am into BDSM, is a trauma nurse and tells a story of a patient life flighted in with "some sort of brass ring locked around her neck". The collar was bent and constricting blood flow to the brain.
 
Human intent is what gives ritual items their meaning. Without it, for example, Christian communicants would see only a miserly serving of bread and fermented grape juice.

If you think long and hard about the meaning of any object, and ascribe to it the meanings you intend for D/s, it can grow to be extraordinarily powerful.

Of course, both parties must understand and embrace the symbolism of the "collar." If they do, there is no problem at all in finding something - anything that suits - of great importance that can be freely displayed in all settings.
 
I used a collar shaped ring on a chain for my slave. He can wear it as a ring at home and on the chain around his neck at work, under his shirt.
 
I tend to wear a choker with a pearl charm as a "day collar", easily seen as just another necklace to those who don't know what it means to me (such as my parents, co-workers, etc). I also recently bought a faux leather choker with an O-ring on the front that I like to wear at home. I decided not to wear it around the college I attend/work for, as I've received some negative comments about it.

I've been waiting to broach the subject of using a collar or something similar with my boyfriend, but we're nowhere near that point in our relationship yet. *sigh*
 
I have been contemplating what to use as a collar. I wanted something discrete that she could wear anywhere so that it never needed to be removed. But I also wanted something with a lock but that seemed to rule out discrete.

Today on Etsy I found a stainless steel chain with a functioning heart shaped pad lock...
 

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SalvDali said:
I have been contemplating what to use as a collar. I wanted something discrete that she could wear anywhere so that it never needed to be removed. But I also wanted something with a lock but that seemed to rule out discrete.

Today on Etsy I found a stainless steel chain with a functioning heart shaped pad lock...
Click to expand...

I purchased a nice collar on Etsy for my sub as well, though she doesn't use it at all (and I wouldn't even want her to) due to it being too stiff and not very comfortable, but this one you pointed out looks much more practical. I too wanted something locking that only I could remove, but we both looked into it and really something that is not easily removable poses some real dangers (getting caught and choking concerns), so we had to give up the permanent lock idea. This one looks great though, I'd only suggest making it easily removable. Doesn't mean she needs to ever remove it, just that she can if need be.
 
My Dom and I searched for a collar on Etsy. We're complete opposites - metal head and girly girl - so we had to compromise. But I love it! It's black, lacy and with a pink trim and a bell. It's very soft too. If I knew how I would upload a photo
 
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