Old 07-06-2014, 05:31 PM   #51
StrayKat
Conquered By A Tiger
 
StrayKat's Avatar
 
StrayKat is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,645
Dear X

The more I get you, the more I want you.
This looking forward in anticipation but without a trace of anxiety or resentment is something new for me. I am so enjoying this ride.

Thank you for showing up in my life
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-06-2014, 05:42 PM   #52
catnip333
Experienced
 
catnip333 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrayKat View Post
Dear X

The more I get you, the more I want you.
This looking forward in anticipation but without a trace of anxiety or resentment is something new for me. I am so enjoying this ride.

Thank you for showing up in my life
This post made me smile . I am so envious of you
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-06-2014, 06:52 PM   #53
All_4_Love
Literotica Guru
 
All_4_Love's Avatar
 
All_4_Love is offline
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,339
Quote:
Originally Posted by StrayKat View Post
Thank you for showing up in my life
These words are beautiful. My heart runneth over...
__________________
The universe operates through dynamic exchange – giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe.
And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives. ~ Deepak Chopra


When you have a good heart: You help too much. You trust too much. You give too much. You love too much. And it always seems you hurt the most.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-07-2014, 01:19 AM   #54
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: What would Oscar Wilde wear?
Posts: 39,694
dear Mother;
"are you enjoying this movie?" is what we call an open ended question, and your husband is perfectly justified in answering it in the affirmative.

"This TV is supposed to be for both of us" gets answered by
"yes of course it is." Also, wariness and puzzlement because the poor bastard can tell something is coming but he cannot guess what that might be.

If what you in fact want is to not watch that particular movie, a direct statement will go a long way towards getting that message across. E.G. "I don't want to watch this movie."

You being in your 80s, of course, I don't really expect much change in you, but for crissake, your method of leading questions as a conversation style has never gotten you anywhere -- except at the cost of everyone's peace of mind. Including your own, which ought to count for something in your mind, no?
__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

Click here to find out about "The Beautiful Dildo Project"

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-07-2014, 03:25 AM   #55
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
 
Sir_Winston54's Avatar
 
Sir_Winston54 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In the trackless depths of my imagination...
Posts: 14,024
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
dear Mother;
"are you enjoying this movie?" is what we call an open ended question, and your husband is perfectly justified in answering it in the affirmative.

"This TV is supposed to be for both of us" gets answered by
"yes of course it is." Also, wariness and puzzlement because the poor bastard can tell something is coming but he cannot guess what that might be.

If what you in fact want is to not watch that particular movie, a direct statement will go a long way towards getting that message across. E.G. "I don't want to watch this movie."

You being in your 80s, of course, I don't really expect much change in you, but for crissake, your method of leading questions as a conversation style has never gotten you anywhere -- except at the cost of everyone's peace of mind. Including your own, which ought to count for something in your mind, no?
"Are you enjoying this movie?" or "What color is my shirt?" is not, in fact, an open-ended question. It can be answered yes or no, or blue or green. "Why do you like this movie?" would be.
__________________
4/19/2014: Please forgive typos and other errors caused by only being able to type with one hand now. I *do* proofread, but may miss an error here or there. If/when I do, I apologize.

Legal Notice and Attorney's CYA Requirements: The author of this post is not an attorney, physician, or marital or sexual therapist or counselor (nor does he play any or all of the above on television). All opinions are offered only as the viewpoint(s) of an individual with a certain amount of life experience, and should not be considered to be legal, medical, or therapeutic/counseling advice.


Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
[Jacked from Wenchie's friend's Facebook page. Thanks!]

If you or a loved one has been attacked by cancer
and you're not familiar with the "Fuck You, Cancer" thread,
please feel free to click the button above.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-07-2014, 05:27 PM   #56
pensivepoet
Love dangerously
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: By design, the last place you'd look
Posts: 7,664
Dear X
You missed the point
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-07-2014, 10:56 PM   #57
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
 
Stella_Omega's Avatar
 
Stella_Omega is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: What would Oscar Wilde wear?
Posts: 39,694
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
"Are you enjoying this movie?" or "What color is my shirt?" is not, in fact, an open-ended question. It can be answered yes or no, or blue or green. "Why do you like this movie?" would be.
With my mother there is only one correct answer. But we don't know what that is.

I suspect it's "Oh gosh... now that you mention it, I am terribly bored by this movie that i was nodding my head and smiling at a second ago. How could I have been so mislead? Tell you what, let's take it out and we'll play something that YOU like, which I will magically know what that is without your telling me, so you can be gratified by my attention to the details of your tiny universe and know I love you."

I have to check in with my sister who is NT a lot. Just in case I am actually missing something obvious. She is as baffled as I am.
__________________
"Oh woe, these be perilous times! Children no longer obey their elders, and everybody is writing a book!"
--Pliny the Elder, AD76

Click here to find out about "The Beautiful Dildo Project"

All about Stella; My AH profile
Stella's stories on lit

An essay for BDSM Newbies; Top, bottom, dominant, submissive-- and the differences thereof Now rewritten with extra sparkle!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-08-2014, 12:05 AM   #58
Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
 
Curious_in_Cali's Avatar
 
Curious_in_Cali is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Here.
Posts: 16,995
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
With my mother there is only one correct answer. But we don't know what that is.

I suspect it's "Oh gosh... now that you mention it, I am terribly bored by this movie that i was nodding my head and smiling at a second ago. How could I have been so mislead? Tell you what, let's take it out and we'll play something that YOU like, which I will magically know what that is without your telling me, so you can be gratified by my attention to the details of your tiny universe and know I love you."

I have to check in with my sister who is NT a lot. Just in case I am actually missing something obvious. She is as baffled as I am.
Something that I realized with my granny in her later years is that she was not all that interested in resolution as much as conversation which often looked like debate. And the fiercely independent firecracker she was meant that she was not about to admit to being lonely... So when she was cantankerous, I learned to offer to play cards and then just listen as she talked about whatever was on her mind. I learned quickly to also ask more questions than I answered as it allowed her a chance to just talk and feel heard. She often cheated, sassed and teased me and held rather offensive views about humanity she needed to spew, but just past all of that I felt how lonely and life bored she was. At the time I thought of it as something I did for her, but honestly...now that she is gone, I would give anything to play cranky rummy with her tonight.

All that to say, maybe try to channel the need for communication into a shared activity that everyone can point at instead of feeling like anyone is pointing at each other. The detachment of it can often help allow the space to refill the compassion bucket... And for me, it also made me a MUCH better rummy player.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-10-2014, 06:57 AM   #59
LallyH
introverted extrovert
 
LallyH's Avatar
 
LallyH is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 10,688
Dear Engineer

I called you here today because my machine needs a repair. We have this machine to produce work for our customers, for which they pay us money which we then use to live on. No work = no money.

So if you don't stop taking personal calls instead of using your time to effect the repair, I will rip the bloody mobile out of your hand and stamp on it.

Clear??

You're welcome.

  Reply With Quote

Old 07-17-2014, 05:28 PM   #60
Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
 
Curious_in_Cali's Avatar
 
Curious_in_Cali is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Here.
Posts: 16,995
Dear X,

Thank you and what have you.

~

Last edited by Curious_in_Cali : 07-17-2014 at 10:43 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-17-2014, 05:33 PM   #61
seela
Quark Thief
 
seela's Avatar
 
seela is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: The Old World
Posts: 4,763
Dear cat,

stop knocking the water bowl over, or so help me god!
__________________
WANDERING CLOUDS HAVE FASTENED THEMSELVES TO THE MOUNTAIN'S EDGE,
FOR ENDLESS HOURS THEY STAND IN SILENCE AND WAIT

-Edith Södergran: Wandering clouds
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-22-2014, 10:37 AM   #62
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
 
FurryFury's Avatar
 
FurryFury is offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 29,287
Dear X,

I can't trust you to show up for holidays and yet you want me to trust you to cat sit. Hells no! And btw, you will NEVER have a key to my home. You know, no limits or boundaries. I'm so much happier since moving because you don't have a key.
__________________
FurryFury

"I ask nothing but what you would freely give me. I honor you as you are, not as something to change." ~ Me

Helping people is one of my drugs but the overdose can be a real bitch. ~ Me

Warning: Steroids make me snappish. ~ Me

The stories I have here at Lit: Vote if you like the stories!
http://english.literotica.com/storie...ge=submissions

Fury's Filthy Stories: http://www.literotica.com:81/forum/s...d.php?t=400253
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-03-2014, 03:35 AM   #63
jewelz_diamondz
Experienced
 
jewelz_diamondz is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Central Missouri...or as I call Misery
Posts: 73
Dear X,

Not falling for it!

Love,
Me
__________________
Jewelz
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-03-2014, 10:25 AM   #64
pensivepoet
Love dangerously
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: By design, the last place you'd look
Posts: 7,664
Dear X
I suddenly realized i had
nothing left to hold
nothing left to lose
So i exploded
~hope you had your umbrella
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 09:10 AM   #65
Stag of Oberon
Sifting the sands of time
 
Stag of Oberon's Avatar
 
Stag of Oberon is offline
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 4,377
my father shared a story yesterday that i hadn't heard before, a rarity for oral historians of our pedigree.

it was one of those stories that start with an entirely different premise, like some of my own stories do, but by rambling only a little without changing subjects he gradually continued, built it into something else; a bigger picture of that day, a light to the injustices of my childhood; A portrait of his own monstrosity. The worst part was that I could tell by his smugness that he felt not only legally correct in what he did, but morally justified as well.

Did I call him on it? Did I take any advantage of his admission, make any effort to open his eyes to the fact that I have always known he was this same monster; that I fucking grew up with it? Did I demand that he at least admit to me, 35+ years after the fact, that what he did was wrong, now when the only consequence to that admission is regaining a shred of my respect? How dare he display his monstrosity and deny it at the same time! Did I at least have the decency to take my children and leave? Did I fly at him in a mirror of childish rage, perhaps taking justice for the children of three decades ago? Justice for my own childhood, for having endured the same things he felt so smug about doing to strangers.

No; I struggled to change the subject and when that failed I zoned out & finished my dinner.

I am a coward.

I wish I could say with any conviction that if he EVER treated one of my children that way...

It's so laughably hollow I can't even finish that. I just don't believe myself anymore.

What the fuck happened to the teenage me who stood barefoot between him and my brothers in a hall strewn with broken glass, baseball bat readied and hissing at him to give me half a syllable of a reason to use it more. Was that incident, that ferocious protector just another confabulation?

That kid died somewhere along the way, presuming that was ever me at all, and died again last night. All I can do is pray my own children never actually need that kind of champion, and take a small measure of comfort in the fact that these days I have lawyers.

Most of the time he is genuinely a pretty good grandpa, much better than he was a father, but in light of the shit stains on our past; it's hard for that to sound or feel like anything but denial.
__________________
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." ~ Mark Twain

Last edited by Stag of Oberon : 08-06-2014 at 03:10 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 03:12 PM   #66
pensivepoet
Love dangerously
 
pensivepoet is offline
Join Date: May 2014
Location: By design, the last place you'd look
Posts: 7,664
Stag, hope you don't mind my input.
Perhaps you're confusing cowardice and grace.
If he is what he was, so long ago, you'll never change him or convince him.
It's easy to be angry and bitter. Doesn't require bravery.
It may be more brave to just let it go. Some things can't be fixed.
The boy you were was the boy you needed to be.
The man you are has children to teach.
I think you'll do fine
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 05:08 PM   #67
Curious_in_Cali
Terribly Human
 
Curious_in_Cali's Avatar
 
Curious_in_Cali is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Here.
Posts: 16,995
Dear Stag,




~C

Last edited by Curious_in_Cali : 08-12-2014 at 06:36 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 05:46 PM   #68
IrisAlthea
Literotica Guru
 
IrisAlthea's Avatar
 
IrisAlthea is offline
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,816
Stag, there was no threat in the situation at dinner.
I think that's the difference between what happened now and what happened in the situation when you were a teen.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-06-2014, 06:30 PM   #69
Stag of Oberon
Sifting the sands of time
 
Stag of Oberon's Avatar
 
Stag of Oberon is offline
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 4,377
Thank you.

I think it's our unjust triumphs that most define us as monsters. Answering my father's invasive bravado, spittle, and brutal volume with actual real violence marks the only times I can say he has ever really taken me seriously, the only times I would say I triumphed against him.

If it's true that violence, while sometimes unavoidable, is definitively never just, then those small victories define me as a monster as well. At least then I recognize my monster, I own it and more importantly, that monster is so elusive that I might call it banished, rather than letting it own me to the point of being a hallmark of my personality that my family knows and expects from me.

His story that so upset me was a story of his triumph, when he turned the tables and potentially avoided a lifetime in military prison by upping the ante to take 'his opponent' down with him. Given that it involved potential court marshals, I'm not sure it's wise to be more specific. It was a story he clearly should never have shared with me either, whether he thought he was in the right nor not.

There aren't enough laws against his style of 'violence,' especially not then, which makes it viciously effective at provoking people into a physical altercation, which he was often good at bending to suit his agenda.

I think I'd have a lot more reason to worry for my children around him if I had a son.

My other problem of late; with the memory issues I have uncovered in the last ... two years? it is occasionally difficult for me personally to say if such traumatic events ever really happened, that they aren't just specters of some vomit inducing migraine, without someone else with independent knowledge of that time confirming it. Contorted memories are 'normal' and not part of false memory syndrome, so as far as I can tell the confabulations are whole cloth; I don't bend anything. If it can be confirmed that it happened at all, then the validity of my crystal clear memories of spittle on my face can be trusted.

I think.

I have strayed from the dear x format, but in the wee hours this morning, with the demons robbing me of sleep, I just needed to vent.
__________________
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." ~ Mark Twain

Last edited by Stag of Oberon : 08-06-2014 at 06:59 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-20-2014, 05:16 AM   #70
Stag of Oberon
Sifting the sands of time
 
Stag of Oberon's Avatar
 
Stag of Oberon is offline
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 4,377
Dear x

Thank you for directing me to the very clean and quiet restrooms in the convention center. I did not realize it was a closed event until i was told as much on the way out; you didn't have to do that. I really hope you didn't get into trouble for it.

It can be very difficult for a dad to find a place to change a little girl's diaper, particularly if he's not willing to do so in a room crowded with more than a dozen male strangers.

Your kindness helped soften the blow of going home for my little one, and greatly reduced the ordeal for me. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to stop and thank you personally.
__________________
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." ~ Mark Twain
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-22-2014, 07:15 PM   #71
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
 
BiBunny's Avatar
 
BiBunny is offline
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Alabama
Posts: 10,806
Dear Lit Person Who Suggested DuoLingo To Me,

I can't remember which one(s) of y'all it was, but thank you. It is wonderful, and I it.

Love,
Bunz
__________________
As a dreamer of dreams and a traveling Bun,
I have chalked up many a mile
Read dozens of books
About heroes and crooks
And I learned much from both of their styles


  Reply With Quote

Old 08-22-2014, 09:32 PM   #72
gypsy*seer
Barefoot sage
 
gypsy*seer's Avatar
 
gypsy*seer is offline
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Near the lakes, forest, & ocean, on a river by the bay....
Posts: 4,275
I'm so fucking done with all of it...and everybody.
__________________
"You were born with goodness & trust...you have wings. Learn to use them & fly." Rumi

“Blessed are the weird people, poets, misfits, writers, mystics, painters and troubadours for they teach us to see the world through different eyes.” -Jacob Nordby
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-28-2014, 01:59 PM   #73
MeekMe
Unsweetened
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 4,391
Dear body

I don't know what I did, but stop it! This whole body pain thing is not cool! Please stop waking me at 3 and 5 AM with excruciating pain and chills. I know the pain reliever dulls it only so much, but I would really like to sit, stand, walk and lay down without everything hurting. I'm taking you to the doctor today, so get your shit together because I need to drive.
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-28-2014, 11:42 PM   #74
Collar_N_Cuffs
Clink Kink
 
Collar_N_Cuffs's Avatar
 
Collar_N_Cuffs is offline
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Wandering, wondering...
Posts: 15,042
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeekMe View Post
Dear body

I don't know what I did, but stop it! This whole body pain thing is not cool! Please stop waking me at 3 and 5 AM with excruciating pain and chills. I know the pain reliever dulls it only so much, but I would really like to sit, stand, walk and lay down without everything hurting. I'm taking you to the doctor today, so get your shit together because I need to drive.
Oh! It sucks when body doesn't want to behave. .. Hope you feel better!! :HomemadeChickenSoupIcon:
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gianbattista View Post
"The collared and cuffed curly bird is a gregarious and engaging bird, most frequently seen in America, but has been spotted in Europe where it makes itself right at home, enchanting Europeans with its dance and whistle. Though an omnivore, it is fastidious about its cuisine, making some effort to eat favoured titbits over easily plentiful supplies of lesser foods. This bird is also known as the Frivol in some localities."
  Reply With Quote

Old 08-29-2014, 03:56 PM   #75
MeekMe
Unsweetened
 
MeekMe's Avatar
 
MeekMe is offline
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 4,391
Quote:
Originally Posted by Collar_N_Cuffs View Post
Oh! It sucks when body doesn't want to behave. .. Hope you feel better!! :HomemadeChickenSoupIcon:
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:25 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.