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Topshelfkinks

Virgin
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Oct 1, 2017
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Just entering this new world of BDSM. However I'm 50% dom and 50% sub. Which doesn't really work. Or can it?
What helped you decide what role you picked?
 
Topshelfkinks said:
Just entering this new world of BDSM. However I'm 50% dom and 50% sub. Which doesn't really work. Or can it?
What helped you decide what role you picked?
Click to expand...

I am a switch too. Mine has to do with my emotional attachment and comfort level of my partner. If they are a switch then that works great. If they are a sub then that works for a while. Pure doms tend to just piss me off. I like to be able to visit both headspaces.
 
Be a switch. It actually does work.

By that I mean find yourself a partner who's 50% dom and 50% sub, and play both ways 50% of the time.
 
Switching is a thing. Some people just enjoy the kink of D/s, but it's not in their true nature to be one or the other. They have aspects of being both. That's okay and legit. You don't have to choose.

Sexuality doesn't need to fit into a nice little box or label.
 
shauwn said:
I can't imagine myself dominating another person, I think I would really feel awkward :) as I'm pretty submissive.
As I'm young yet and haven't been dominated much, perhaps I'll learn and be more comfortable with switching.
Click to expand...
Again, it's not really necessary to be a switch. There are plenty of full-time doms around for you to be a full-time sub.
 
I want to be a full time sub, I am very independent and outgoing in general life. So during sex I like to be dominated xx
 
Thanks everyone. Just like in real life I can never be one or the other I guess. I'm also bisexual haha atleast I know now that people can switch and it can work. I think my partner is on board with it to from some innocent questioning tonight which is exciting. Thankyou
 
I’m 100% sub, I not only like but sometimes feel that I need and deserve to be dominated. It’s my pleasure to serve and please whether it’s my wife or one of our other partners. If I need to be punished then it’s my role to take that punishment. I have tried to be dominant but it didn’t feel like me being myself
 
Last edited by a moderator:
When sissy started working it was a dominant role job but inside sissy was submissive. Learned to keep the two separate, not like an on/off switch but a focus thing.
When the mind got relaxed the sissy came out to play but as long as the mind stayed focus the dominant was working.
 
I enjoy both , I'm also Bi I guess that means I just can't make up my mind. LOL
 
shauwn said:
I can't imagine myself dominating another person, I think I would really feel awkward :) as I'm pretty submissive.
As I'm young yet and haven't been dominated much, perhaps I'll learn and be more comfortable with switching.
Click to expand...

As you gain more experience and confidence, it changes things. When I was in my first relationship, the idea of me initiating things was like 'Hell, no!' Even talking about sex with my partner made me feel awkward and uncomfortable.

After some time, it became easier to talk about sex, desires, what I liked, didn't like and wanted to try.

Twenty years later, and happily married, I now write stories for Literotica, and my husband and I are very intuned to each other. I definitely prefer being submissive, but he likes the loss of control sometimes, too. Our relationship is probably more 75/25 (me submissive 75% of the time), so we are not a 50/50 switch, but, definitely sometimes. When I am in a particularly naughty mood, I sometimes want to be the 'top'. ;)

Good luck. Have fun. Be safe. :)
 
I've tried both, though admittedly very limited thinking that I'd enjoy both.
I discovered that I'm not dominant at all even thou I may look it.
I find I require the guidance of another.
I guess the only way to find out is to try.
 
Thuggedout said:
I've tried both, though admittedly very limited thinking that I'd enjoy both.
I discovered that I'm not dominant at all even thou I may look it.
I find I require the guidance of another.
I guess the only way to find out is to try.
Click to expand...

I know some pretty big tough-looking guys who prefer to submit and let others lead them... and one is a pretty heavy masochist.
 
Still lazily exploring but for me, it would depend on the person I am interacting with. It's a certain vibe/energy you get when dealing with the other person. "There can only be one captain."

I can kinda be neutral so maybe that's why when taking that test online, I nearly came out around the 50% mark for (sub and switch) yet on the lower side for dom/domme. I've taken the test once about every year or so for the last two years just to see what has shifted as I explored.

I believe that if I had to, I could be a service top, but I do not want the responsibility of being a domme (and definitely not a master/mistress or owner).

I just know that I treat it more like a classroom environment.... everyone has to be exposed to everything no matter what you think you like or do not like. Each person has their time to experience and explore.

I know in my mind, in order for me to truly submit, that person has to have a certain je ne sais quoi.... and you find yourself submitting and you have no idea why, but it's natural and strong desire and you do not mind doing it. You're just happy to please the person you're with.

If that's not the case, the stubborn/uninterested brat/domme side of me will rise.

Just take your time to explore and do not sub just for anyone. Your submission is precious.
 
My fantasies are both dom and sub.

When it comes to a girl that is younger than me, I want to own her.

When its an older women, she feels more like a mistress.

When it comes to men, I am strictly sub.


Basically, depending on who you are sets the mood.
 
I'm in a position of dominance at work. Maybe that's why you want to be submissive?
 
love being submissive when it comes to sex

For me you would never think on the outside that I have so many submissive, bi and gay fantasies. I think to myself, WOW! when I was still working if the guys and girls at my job ever knew, they would be shocked! Shocked that I masturbate my old 60+ yo cock thinking of being on my knees sucking a dominant man, or on my knees Role playing with my wife, as she has me kissing her pussy and begging to eat another mans cum from her..

Out of my home, you would never think I was so submissive in my mind. But behind closed doors WATCH OUT!
 
i think i can be a bit of both leaning more towards submissive but that might be because past partners were submissive and someone has to be the dominate i suppose.

so i can play both roles i feel
 
cuck72 said:
... I masturbate my old 60+ yo cock thinking of being on my knees sucking a dominant man, or on my knees Role playing with my wife, as she has me kissing her pussy and begging to eat another mans cum from her..
Click to expand...

Same here. Hoping to make it real.
 
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