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What do Dommes like to wear during kinky playtime?

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LI Kerwell

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Jun 5, 2015
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So just as Wild_Honey_66 and MeekMe suggested, here's a new thread.

What do Dommes and sub women wear at night when they decide to get kinky?


As Wild_Honey_66 said on my other thread.....

How about if we offer to help by busting some common myths about what Dommes are like? We could start with what they wear in the bedroom during kinky playtime, for instance. Sub women could join in too, to give him a basis for comparison.

Ladies, what do you think?


And thank you .......
 
Nothing, most of the time. I will, however, not remove a suit before play time... It just adds so much more to the dynamic if I happen to be wearing one.
 
My guess is you're going to run in to the same answers you did in the last thread.

I really appreciate that you're trying to listen and get some answers. However, there aren't a ton of female Dominant voices actively posting in the Talk section.

Second, I think you're going after something that doesn't exist. For the few people who might post, you'll get different answers.

Honey posted in a different thread she doesn't enjoy the stereotypical, cliche porn images of what a Domme looks like - dark and dangerous. I'm positive there are some out there who do love leather, latex, stilettos or boots.

I'm submissive and for me, it depended on whatever mood the Top/Dominant wanted to set. SalvDali, in his post above, wrote he likes wearing a suit because it adds to the dynamic. But it sounds like he doesn't go to the closet at play time to put one on.

Is that what you're looking for? What female Dominants like to wear in order to add to the mood?

99.9% of the time, at home,for me, play wasn't this orchestrated thing. He wouldn't get dressed up in leather or a suit in order to have some kinky fun. He'd just be in whatever he had on that day (on weekeneds, especially, kink happened during the day, not always at night).

Some of that stuff is hard to get in to. A latex skirt. Stockings. It's a mood killer trying to get a chubby body in to a latex cat suit. Making sure I don't trip on the carpet in sky high heels.
 
Thinking about this a bit more, maybe the question is - what do you do to set a scene? Add to the mood?

In my experience, it wasn't as much about what he was wearing but the little things he'd do. Sometimes he'd pull his cock out of his jeans so I had to focus on that. Or he'd put a collar and cuffs on me and do nothing else -- I just had to wear that while we hung out.

Hope you get more answers and it helps you get more clear on what you're seeking.
 
cookiecat said:
Thinking about this a bit more, maybe the question is - what do you do to set a scene? Add to the mood?

In my experience, it wasn't as much about what he was wearing but the little things he'd do. Sometimes he'd pull his cock out of his jeans so I had to focus on that. Or he'd put a collar and cuffs on me and do nothing else -- I just had to wear that while we hung out.

Hope you get more answers and it helps you get more clear on what you're seeking.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I would say it is not so much what he is wearing as the tone of voice... or the things he has asked me to do to get my head in the right place for play time.

The way he tells me to c'mere. Or kneel for him.

Yes sometimes it is about the paraphernalia. When he asks me to bring him my play collar so he can put it on me. Or tells me that he wants me to wear this or that when we go out to dinner. Or have me wear a plug all day while I clean the house.

So much of this is subtle. It works on you in a way that does not necessarily require certain clothes. Because... willing submission.

I do not need him to wear a suit to get all excited. Do I like it when he wears a suit? yes. I also like it when he wears a soft fleece sweater that makes me want to cuddle up against him.

Does he like it when I wear fancy silky lacy lingerie'? Yes. But does he need that to find me sexy and submissive and irresistible? No.
Most nights I sleep naked.
 
lickerwell said:
So just as Wild_Honey_66 and MeekMe suggested, here's a new thread.

What do Dommes and sub women wear at night when they decide to get kinky?
Click to expand...
Unless directed otherwise, whatever I had on for the day and the time of day doesn't matter.


How about if we offer to help by busting some common myths about what Dommes are like? We could start with what they wear in the bedroom during kinky playtime, for instance. Sub women could join in too, to give him a basis for comparison.

Ladies, what do you think?


And thank you .......
Click to expand...

Typically what you see in porn or pictures is selling a fantasy. Men in suits, women in slutty get-ups that look horrifyingly uncomfortable. It's all putting on a show. At home, in regular life? It's a lot like any other day. Sometimes you might put on a show similarly to putting on something fancy for an expensive dinner. For the most part though, I'd still be a submissive in my bunny slippers and he'd still be a dominant in rubber ducky boxer shorts.

Theatrics can be fun but I'd take comfort over that any day. I remember a dominant woman complaining about a guy that was disappointed when she didn't put on what he thought a dominant woman would wear (latex/corset/ridiculously uncomfortable boots). She was all about being comfortable when she beat him. Makes sense to me, why would I stand there torturing myself while I played with someone?
 
Ok, well this is progress

People are having fun.

Maybe I'll create a new discussion tomorrow! Lol
 
MeekMe said:
Typically what you see in porn or pictures is selling a fantasy. Men in suits, women in slutty get-ups that look horrifyingly uncomfortable. It's all putting on a show.
Click to expand...

(see also: "actual lesbian sex" vs "performed-for-male-gaze lesbian sex").

Theatrics can be fun but I'd take comfort over that any day. I remember a dominant woman complaining about a guy that was disappointed when she didn't put on what he thought a dominant woman would wear (latex/corset/ridiculously uncomfortable boots). She was all about being comfortable when she beat him. Makes sense to me, why would I stand there torturing myself while I played with someone?
Click to expand...

Uh huh. As I get older, my idea of a scene becomes less and less about dressing up and going somewhere exotic, and more and more about lying in bed with my partner and going "grr". I'd like to be doing the fancy stuff, but it takes time and mental energy that are in short supply these days.

Corsets don't have to be torture devices. My partner has one that she wears for comfort occasionally, because it gives her good back support. But then it's not the fantasy wasp-waist style...
 
I don't imagine that anyone in a long-term relationship, regardless of gender, sexual preference, or role, consistently wears special "playtime outfits" every single time they want to get kinky.

As a sub I occasionally do dress up in lingerie, corsets, or costumes. I figure that many women, including vanilla women and Dommes, do the same sometimes.

But a lot of the time, our playtime consists of us wearing nothing at all. :D
 
Farawyn said:
Sooooooooo tacky!!!
Click to expand...

Farawyn...there's a guy waiting outside...says he's here to take you on a date :D

CfscpCrWQAAIllO.jpg
 
Piping up. :)

I like to at least have something on when I'm topping--mostly black or red--sometimes leather, sometimes sheer, pretty or lacy.

I have a pair of over the knee boots that make me feel really powerful so they often show up for kinky play time.

Depends on the partner, the mood, and what all is going to transpire.
 
Piping in as well.

Most of the time, an outfit for play is just everyday clothes. Playtime can be enhanced with clothes but the mood can be killed by having to pause & get into a costume.
I follow my subconscious a lot; more severe, business-like styles in strong colours like black or red make me feel more dominant throughout the day, & continuing as Domme at home.
More flowing, feminine looks make me want to take care of His needs & please Him.

Spontaneity is just more fun than constantly feeling like an actor on some show, having to wear a certain costume in order to play.
In the end, it is about attitude, voice, & behavior.
 
celticlady said:
Piping in as well.

Most of the time, an outfit for play is just everyday clothes. Playtime can be enhanced with clothes but the mood can be killed by having to pause & get into a costume.
I follow my subconscious a lot; more severe, business-like styles in strong colours like black or red make me feel more dominant throughout the day, & continuing as Domme at home.
More flowing, feminine looks make me want to take care of His needs & please Him.

Spontaneity is just more fun than constantly feeling like an actor on some show, having to wear a certain costume in order to play.
In the end, it is about attitude, voice, & behavior.
Click to expand...
That's awesome.
 
Saucyminx said:
Piping up. :)

I like to at least have something on when I'm topping--mostly black or red--sometimes leather, sometimes sheer, pretty or lacy.

I have a pair of over the knee boots that make me feel really powerful so they often show up for kinky play time.

Depends on the partner, the mood, and what all is going to transpire.
Click to expand...
Wow!!!
 
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