gypsymoonrose
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2012
- Posts
- 111
You get a twenty minute infomercial on the latest greatest kitchen gadget.
I put in well read books with broken bindings.
The Author's Hangout Vending Machine
- Thread starter The_Darkness
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You get a twenty minute infomercial on the latest greatest kitchen gadget.
I put in well read books with broken bindings.
Tio_Narratore
Studies
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 71,016
and you get back a Bowdlerised edition of "Of Human Bondage."
I put in a dog-eared copy of "Justine..."
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Posts
- 78,200
Which burns the walls of the machine.
I put in the corpse of the idiot who devises words like "Infomercial".
Tio_Narratore
Studies
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 71,016
and you get a TV special extolling the virtues, with an appreciative audience clapping at each demonstration of its marvellous abilities, of the All-New!! Available Only On TV!!! CORPSE-O-MATIC!
I put in the rage of an offended Dragon...
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
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- 78,200
And it takes the entire Fire Brigade Station House to extinguish the resulting blaze.
I put in a word with a Z in it.
Tio_Narratore
Studies
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 71,016
and you get back a key chain of the word "zed" in chrome-plated brass.
I put in the climactic episode of "Pulp Fiction," from alpha to omega, from A to Zed...
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
and you get free dance lessons to learn the twist.
I put in a vodka martini, with a lemon twist.
Dianthus
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2009
- Posts
- 30,434
and you get shaken but are not stirred
I put in chocolate bread pudding with whipped cream
Tio_Narratore
Studies
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 71,016
and you get shaken but are not stirred
I put in chocolate bread pudding with whipped cream
and you are stirred and shaken.
I put in a maraschino cherry...
Dianthus
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2009
- Posts
- 30,434
and you get cherries Jubilee
(from Queen Elizabeth, perhaps?)
I put in a blueberry martini
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
and you get a blue tongue, and an "I'm never drinking again !"
I put in a week at a silent cleansing retreat.
Tio_Narratore
Studies
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2008
- Posts
- 71,016
and the din hits 125 decibels as all the silence gets cleansed.
I put in a weak retreat...
Austin8
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2009
- Posts
- 12,779
It's sooo weak the roof collapses
I put in a 1000' roll of butcher paper, and a roll of gum tape.
Dianthus
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2009
- Posts
- 30,434
and you get a very large brown paper parcel, tied up with string
I put in mini marshmallows, dark chocolate and whipping cream.
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Posts
- 78,200
and you get a very large brown paper parcel, tied up with string
I put in mini marshmallows, dark chocolate and whipping cream.
And the marshmallows grow in the dark.
I put in a good Hand Torch with a million candlepower
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
and you get a million dollar handj.. - (oops, read that wrong
hehe)I put in a wind up flashlight.
Handley_Page
Draco interdum Vincit
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2007
- Posts
- 78,200
and you get a million dollar handj.. - (oops, read that wrong
I put in a wind up flashlight.
and the gears are stripped.
I put in a decent reflector.
Noor
Citizen of the World
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Posts
- 30,317
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
and the aliens pull out all the stuffing. "Such strange internal organs these Earth creatures have !?"
I put in the clipped wings of an African Grey.
Austin8
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2009
- Posts
- 12,779
but the poor old dude has stringy muscle fiber, and his pullet bone is hard as a rock!
I put in a natural sausage casing stuffed with African Grey
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
and it's lovely with a bit of creamed horseradish (?!)
I put in two freshly caught arctic char. Let's see ya make sausage outta that, Austin !
Austin8
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2009
- Posts
- 12,779
and it's lovely with a bit of creamed horseradish (?!)
I put in two freshly caught arctic char. Let's see ya make sausage outta that, Austin !
... Cranking up the Hobart 4146, I stuff a thick slab of Jerrys arctic char into the in-feed of the grinder, Im using the chili plate btw, so it will be just right mixed with fennel and sage, for my awesome arctic char chili!
I put in a creative mind that will cook just about anything
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
And you get 2 hand drawn biological maps: One showing the way to a man's heart, and one showing the way to a woman's. At least, I think that's what the second one is ....
I put in a firetruck full of hungry firemen, showing up just in time to try your chili.
Austin8
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2009
- Posts
- 12,779
i sure hope you brought more fish Jerr, we ain't got near enough to feed these hungry guys!
I put in a sign:
ALL OUT OF ARCTIC CHILI
: See Jerry for details.
SailorJerry
Taking on Water
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2011
- Posts
- 3,272
and you get a team of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders to distract them from their hunger. (All except the fireman from San Francisco, that is. But he's happy enough it seems).
I put in an abandoned pompom.
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