I never orgasm! Anyone else?

Man to the rescue?

I was with a beautiful anorgasmic woman for three years. She suffered from childhood abuse in several ways, including that she would get sexually aroused but then, suddenly, clamp up when she approached a climax. Sometimes she would take her fists or hands and pound herself afterwards, in obvious anguish. This would tend to discourage me from putting her in that situation in the first place, but I tried everything I could think of to try to make her feel comfortable with her body and with sexual expression.

I learned that it did no good to offer suggestions, like counseling or psychotherapy. She had apparently tried all sorts of professional therapies,

Sometimes she would cheerfully say, "Well, if you never had an orgasm, then you don't miss them!" She had been injured so deeply. She told me that she would much rather be understood than loved, but it was so much easier to do the latter than the former. Traumatic childhood sexual abuse affected her relationships, her body image, and her ability to bond, but she remains as one of the most loveable and insightful humans you could ever meet. Anyone paying attention is drawn to her quiet charisma.

She has very strict standards for the behavior of herself and for those she knows. I violated one of these standards and was banned from her life. I never "saved" her, and now live with the belief that I made her difficult life even worse. I miss her so much, and have to live with that, also.

Sorry to be a bummer, but things do not always work out, and men do not always have the answers. Stating the obvious...
 
Have you spoken to a doctor? Rule out the physical first.

In my experience, large but not vast, the inability to orgasm usually means the inability to lose control. The French call orgasm, "la petite mort" (the little death) one has to be willing to fall off the cliff with no net. How to do that, hmm, just let go, be tied and totally powerless I don't know what you have tried.

But the secret will be loss of control. If yu have an SO have him or her follow my directions in
How to Locate Your Lover's G-spot
 
Sorry to be a bummer, but things do not always work out, and men do not always have the answers. Stating the obvious...
You clearly don't know Lit men. Every single one of them can turn anorgasmic women into squirting, quivering porn goddesses. :cool:
 
You clearly don't know Lit men. Every single one of them can turn anorgasmic women into squirting, quivering porn goddesses. :cool:

Indeed, living in the real world is much more challenging than living as a legend in your own mind, especially for men.
 
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