Editing help with a noncon about 10k words

Hi, I'd love some help on a story I'm working on. It's about 10k words, and it is the second part to what will probably be about 50k novella when it's finished. I like how it's turning out, but it's got some tricky POV stuff and I wouldn't mind a second opinion and some help with the details.

Here is the first part:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-education-of-gloria-dean-ch-01

If you're up for this, please PM me or respond here. Thanks!