The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

Handley_Page · Apr 3, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
and you get a side plate of scones and Devon cream.

I put in a large double-double from Tim Horton's...

[a double ^2 of what ? ] - [ sorry !]

I Put in the Raspberry jam for the scones.

Noor · Apr 3, 2011

Handley_Page said:
[a double ^2 of what ? ] - [ sorry !]

I Put in the Raspberry jam for the scones.

and you get a sieve

I put in a toaster

vrosej10 · Apr 3, 2011

Handley_Page said:
[a double ^2 of what ? ] - [ sorry !]

I Put in the Raspberry jam for the scones.

and you get a compliment jar of riberry jam (a delicious clove tasting variety of lily pily, an australian native tree. They are very acidic and make unbelievable jam or jelly to go with ham).

I put in a tea set decorated with pansies.

vrosej10 · Apr 3, 2011

Noor said:
and you get a sieve

I put in a toaster

and you get a loaf of apricot delight bread, beautifully crisped.

I put in a feather from the kookabura I saw this afternoon.

Handley_Page · Apr 3, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get a loaf of apricot delight bread, beautifully crisped.

I put in a feather from the kookaburra I saw this afternoon.

and the bird flies it's unsteady way onwards to the nearest branch.

I put in the demand from the Kookaburra to return the lost feather.

YoursSINSerely · Apr 3, 2011

Handley_Page said:
and the bird flies it's unsteady way onwards to the nearest branch.

I put in the demand from the Kookaburra to return the lost feather.

But, it gets stuck in the old gum tree.

I put in a wad of gum stuck on my bed post.

vrosej10 · Apr 4, 2011

YoursSINSerely said:
But, it gets stuck in the old gum tree.

I put in a wad of gum stuck on my bed post.

And you get a biohazard suit to deal with it.

I put in the popcorn my mice rejected.

Tio_Narratore · Apr 4, 2011

vrosej10 said:
And you get a biohazard suit to deal with it.

I put in the popcorn my mice rejected.

and the animal psychologist suggests you try offering it with a movie next time.

I put in DVD of "The Secret of NIMH"...

vrosej10 · Apr 4, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
and the animal psychologist suggests you try offering it with a movie next time.

I put in DVD of "The Secret of NIMH"...

and the damn things get hold of WMD's again; it's the third time this week and the UN are now constantly camped on my lawn.

I put in my geiger counter and a kit of vaccines for bioweapons.

Tio_Narratore · Apr 4, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and the damn things get hold of WMD's again; it's the third time this week and the UN are now constantly camped on my lawn.

I put in my geiger counter and a kit of vaccines for bioweapons.

and you get hit with radioactive rhinovirus.

I put in a previously-owned, never-been-used, Californian fallout shelter...

vrosej10 · Apr 4, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
and you get hit with radioactive rhinovirus.

I put in a previously-owned, never-been-used, Californian fallout shelter...

and I move in for the duration (I'm naturally a hermit and misanthrope).

I put in my 'waste' bucket.

Tio_Narratore · Apr 4, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and I move in for the duration (I'm naturally a hermit and misanthrope).

I put in my 'waste' bucket.

but the honey bucket truck doesn'tstop at your place since you closeted away.

I put in a large packet of microbial enzyme tablets...

vrosej10 · Apr 4, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
but the honey bucket truck doesn'tstop at your place since you closeted away.

I put in a large packet of microbial enzyme tablets...

and you get chased around by a large microbial enzyme.

I put in an extra large can of antibacterial spray and a sharp sword in case the spray doesn't work.

Tio_Narratore · Apr 4, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get chased around by a large microbial enzyme.

I put in an extra large can of antibacterial spray and a sharp sword in case the spray doesn't work.

and the bacteria thank you for using your sword to speed up their rate of mitotic reproduction.

I put in a dangerously increasing level of antibiotic-resistant bacterial biomass...

Handley_Page · Apr 4, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get chased around by a large microbial enzyme.

I put in an extra large can of antibacterial spray and a sharp sword in case the spray doesn't work.

but the Health & Safety people do not approve sharp swords and blunt it.

I put in an electric knife-sharpener.

vrosej10 · Apr 5, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
and the bacteria thank you for using your sword to speed up their rate of mitotic reproduction.

I put in a dangerously increasing level of antibiotic-resistant bacterial biomass...

and you get some unusual compost that it doesn't pay to walk barefoot over.

I put in a pair of exceptionally good gum boots.

Tio_Narratore · Apr 5, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get some unusual compost that it doesn't pay to walk barefoot over.

I put in a pair of exceptionally good gum boots.

and they get ruined when the dog not only chews them, but tries to blow bubbles as well.

I put in a Bazooka Joe comic...

vrosej10 · Apr 5, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
and they get ruined when the dog not only chews them, but tries to blow bubbles as well.

I put in a Bazooka Joe comic...

and you get my jaw aches from chewing the gum.

i put in a rub on tattoo of popeye.

(Gum boots would be called Galoshes I think in the USA I think.)

Tio_Narratore · Apr 5, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get my jaw aches from chewing the gum.

i put in a rub on tattoo of popeye.

(Gum boots would be called Galoshes I think in the USA I think.)

and you get smacked by an insanely jealous Olive Oyl.

I puts in a can of spinach...

(Gum boots...depends on what kind you're referring to. Galoshes are rubber shoes for your shoes in the U.S.; is that a gumboot in Austral climes? And I once found a woman staring at me as I stretched a pair of galoshes over my shiny black Oxfords. She realized I saw her, and apologized, a bit embarassed, saying, "I can't help myself; I love watching men put those things on." Think we can turn it into a kinky story?)

Handley_Page · Apr 6, 2011

Tio_Narratore said:
and you get smacked by an insanely jealous Olive Oyl.

I puts in a can of spinach...

And discover it is well past its "sell-by date".

I put in a sharp tin opener.

[ we call them "Wellington" boots ]

YoursSINSerely · Apr 6, 2011

Handley_Page said:
And discover it is well past its "sell-by date".

I put in a sharp tin opener.

[ we call them "Wellington" boots ]

and, it opens up a can of worms and causes all kinds of havoc in my household.

I put in bottle of household cleanser called spic and span.

vrosej10 · Apr 6, 2011

and you get to clean my shower.

I put in a Strine dictionary.

There are what we call gum boots.

Tio_Narratore · Apr 6, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get to clean my shower.

I put in a Strine dictionary.

There are what we call gum boots.

and no one but an OZ can find any words in it.

(Those are also Wellingtons or Wellies in Canada; in the U.S., we called them Rubber Boots - similar to your Australian Gumboots.)

Handley_Page · Apr 7, 2011

vrosej10 said:
and you get to clean my shower.

I put in a Strine dictionary.

which is very useful to the visitor to Oz.

I put in a box of damp matches

vrosej10 · Apr 7, 2011

Handley_Page said:
which is very useful to the visitor to Oz.

I put in a box of damp matches

and you get a pile of things that go together but are slightly wet.

I put in twenty paint swatches in various shades of violet.

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