Tips on writing a more shy, submissive male?

Tips on writing a more shy, submissive male? (Xenoblade spoilers)

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR XENOBLADE CHRONICLES

Throwing around an idea here. I've been playing through Xenoblade Chronicles, great game, loving it to death, and one of the main plot points is that the main protagonist(Shulk)'s love interest(Fiora) was seemingly killed, but later revealed to be alive, just lost her memory and had to have that restored. They're so adorable together omg. The romantic chemistry is done really well before she "died" and he doesn't laugh or smile for the longest time after that. I'm getting close to getting her back, so...I'm considering writing a post return/memory restore romantic romp. Thing is though, Shulk is kind of shy and introverted, Fiora is more spunky and kinda fiery. She'd definitely make the first move here, I'm thinking they'd just be cuddling and then their hormones take over.

I'm okay with writing shy introverts in other things, but I've never tried writing a shy introvert in a sex scene. Since this will be unplanned intimacy it might be difficult to realistically pull off, even more so since the male is the submissive one and I'm pretty sure neither of them really confessed their feelings for each other before, so that's also a bit of an issue to work around.

Yeah. Tips?

RubenR said:

Make him think. A lot.

Make him question every thing he does and she does. Make him 'dream' (daydream) of what he wants and question the value of his desires, her interest, ... Question his worthy, a future, if she really wants him....

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Yeah, he's definitely a thinker and a daydreamer. Good advice.

How realistic is it for a submissive guy to start getting more confident and cocky (pun completely intended) once he has a raging boner?

I proudly suggest my series My Little Ventrue if you want to read about a shy character, as the main character Jack is pretty damn shy. You can just skip to Pt01 Ch10 if you want. It's all about Jack being shy in a sex scene.

As for how confident a man gets when aroused? No more than how confident a shy girl gets when aroused (ie: not much more). Unless they're on the verge of orgasm, then they become like anyone else, desperate to get off. :3

Just take a page out of reality. A shy guy (even if that seems a contradiction to some) is going to need a LOT of encouragement to move forward and if the girl comes on too strong, he'll run away because he doesn't think he deserves such a hottie. She will have to be careful with him and certainly patient. Above all, she'll have to be very communicative and sharing with him and there will be have to be quite a build up before they do the deed for real. If he's pushed and excited too much and he tries to get off because of literal discomfort (kind of like another poster stated), it could damage him to the point of him thinking he wasn't good enough to please her and he felt the overwhelming need to finish and not think of her pleasure. In the sex, she'll have to guide him from maybe putting his hands on the articles she wants him to remove and reassuring him as he goes along, and then she gently reciprocates and reassures him while removing his clothing--but proceeding very carefully. Consider doing this back-and-forth and have her talk to him in a low, encouraging voice to him as he proceeds on removing more of her clothing. He'll see it's ok and she reassures him with her smile and touch as well. She will have to guide him to where and how he touches her, encouraging him to explore her body with his mouth or hands and then telling him when she enjoys something and telling him to do more of it. The first time in my mind would have to be that deliberate, because he's going to doubt everything he does unless she's willing to be that patient with him. Trick is it has to come across as genuine and unrushed. As for before that, she will have to slowly win him over as well, by complimenting things about him he would like but wouldn't seem forced. Then she moves into slowly sitting closer to him and maybe she even tells him to hug her, then builds up to cuddling but no sex--just the body contact. Then she maybe puts one of his hands where she wants him to have it, but she doesn't force him to do anything. Getting the idea? Hope it helps!

.............

Be descriptive on describing his nature/demeanor and passive actions/interactions with other people. Does he avoid crowds? spend a lot of time alone? have trouble communicating his feelings? give in to people/ a push-over? Etc? Is he quite? Reserved? Or possess likewise traits? The list could go on and on. Kant

KindofHere said:

Mother fucker, no spoiler warning? I've been saving that game while I get through a few others. Fuck!

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Omg, so sorry! I didn't think there'd be many people here who played as much games as I do...

Novus: I'm thinking he might take a bit longer than average to get hard, not too long, but slightly more. And then when he's about to cum he can't think of much else, except he might consider pulling out because he knows he wants kids eventually, but he's not sure if he wants them just yet. She curls around him though and the look in her eyes sends him over the edge and he shoots into her with an extremely blissful look on his face. Since she's more confident she might just orgasm first, but idk how realistic that is. I might just use the scene you suggested as an example when I actually write it, thanks.

Comentarista: That's very helpful, yeah, I can see it working just like that.

I knew she was going to take the lead, that's a given, I just wasn't sure HOW she'd take the lead without looking like an extremely horny slut or a bitch in heat. Comentarista helped with that though.

Next question is: How realistic is it for the woman to orgasm first, with a shy, virgin boy? Would her own desires combined with telling him where to touch be enough? I mean from my experience, I don't think I've orgasmed from having the dildo inside me. I'm still figuring this stuff out, I think I orgasmed from touching my clit once though, but even then, it wasn't a huge one. Idk if love combined with lust would help with that or not, sadly I've never had a boyfriend. Lost my hymen to a dildo.

Which brings up the point that yeah, they'd both be virgins, so it might hurt her a little. I'd peg him at 6 inches or a little under that fully erect, obviously the bigger it is, the more likely there'll be blood and pain for the woman. Right?

Kantarii: He's pretty quiet and reserved, but has a bromance going with a hotheaded dorky jock type. The three of them (him, her, and the dorky jock) grew up side by side, and she has a brother who's 13 years older than her, who was the father figure because their father died when she was a baby. Shulk was orphaned at the age of 4 and adopted by an older guy who's close to Fiora's brother. He's a bit of a nerdy boy, has an interest in weapons research and development, his adopted father had to tell him to get some fresh air at one part because he'd hole up inside all day doing research if he let him. Clearly has trouble adjusting to the role of being the "chosen one" hero in the game's story, but can be an absolute badass at times, mainly when enemies taunt him about Fiora, the enemy that "killed" her bragged about it and Shulk got PISSED, charged at him with no care for his own safety. Nobody harms his girl and gets away with it. Even if she wasn't entirely "his girl" yet, but all that would make him more likely to make a move when they reunite I'd assume. He had a few months of going "if only..." and mourning and thinking she was gone. Does that help you get a good idea of his personality?

DragonCat91 said:

Omg, so sorry! I didn't think there'd be many people here who played as much games as I do...

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You would be surprised ... and thanks for spoiling that game for me too, seeing how I bought the game and am still in the process to buy the console that fits it. Ah, well. I`ll forget it at some point anyway

As for your idea of a shy male, RubenR shared my thoughts already. Make him think a lot, and doubt every action he does. That isn`t exclusive for only shy people, but it does help in conveying his train of thought.
In your case I feel it would be a good thing to have a lot of build-up, with lots of little teasing which gradually allows him to get a little confidence. Even shy guys eventually try and be a bit more daring if they believe there is a high chance of their partner agreeing with them. If he gets positive reactions from a slight touch of a breast, or the girl makes a remark about seeing how she sees him getting hard and genuinely appreciating it, he will eventually take some initiative. It might just be a little thing, like initiating a kiss, but such little steps will allow him to gradually give him more confidence.

She will just have to be patient and complimenting. She doesn`t need to actually guide him, as Comentarista82 said, but she does need to make sure she encourages him. A compliment on his haircut; feeling his biceps and saying he filled out more; a comment about feeling happy that she is glad that he can get hard by looking at her; those all count towards building his confidence. She doesn`t need to be a horny slut, she just needs to be appreciating of his actions. Well, that`s my opinion at least

DragonCat91 said:

Next question is: How realistic is it for the woman to orgasm first, with a shy, virgin boy?

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I don`t think it really matters if it`s a shy boy or not, to be honest. If a woman gets aroused by, say, the chance of getting caught, she will have a greater chance to get an orgasm if she actually gets sex in a situation where that might happen.
As for your other questions, I`ll leave those up to the other readers here, being a male and all myself

DragonCat91 said:

Which brings up the point that yeah, they'd both be virgins, so it might hurt her a little. I'd peg him at 6 inches or a little under that fully erect, obviously the bigger it is, the more likely there'll be blood and pain for the woman. Right?

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That isn`t exactly true. One single man can have a dick that will hurt one woman because it is too large while another woman could easily take him inside. Everyone is different in those aspects. I experienced that myself, since with one girl I managed to fill her up completely, reaching all the way up, while with another girl I had felt small because she could handle more than I could offer. Bigger does not automatically make it hurt more; it`s the way how it is done that might hurt. For instance, using lube to make sure there is less friction will help to make it hurt less.

...........

Gentleman_G said:

I don`t think it really matters if it`s a shy boy or not, to be honest. If a woman gets aroused by, say, the chance of getting caught, she will have a greater chance to get an orgasm if she actually gets sex in a situation where that might happen.
As for your other questions, I`ll leave those up to the other readers here, being a male and all myself


That isn`t exactly true. One single man can have a dick that will hurt one woman because it is too large while another woman could easily take him inside. Everyone is different in those aspects. I experienced that myself, since with one girl I managed to fill her up completely, reaching all the way up, while with another girl I had felt small because she could handle more than I could offer. Bigger does not automatically make it hurt more; it`s the way how it is done that might hurt. For instance, using lube to make sure there is less friction will help to make it hurt less.

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I was thinking that because he's shy, he wouldn't be touching her clit as much and being as wild with his thrusts as someone who's more confident, but I guess as you said, she gets him out of his shell, he just might. Still from my own experience and research it takes more stimulation and time for the girl. I'm pretty sure if I were male, I'd have came with every masturbation session since I got off those meds that were preventing it. Maybe I just have a hard time telling when it happens. It's blatantly obvious for the boys. Not so much for girls. And clit stimulation is more likely to trigger orgasm than penetration, I've read, but it can depend.

That threat of getting caught just might work though. Dunban(her brother) is never far. They could both be worried that he'll walk in on them. Although he did indicate that he'd be perfectly fine with them together, over her and Reyn(the dorky hothead). This is an actual ingame scene. Still wouldn't make it any less awkward though of course.

The biceps thing though, lol, if she wants that, she'd be going after the more hunky Reyn. But it still might work, she can say he has just enough bulk and hunkiness for her liking.

Yeah, I know lube helps. In this case though, since it's a spur of the moment thing, she's relying on her own natural lube. I highly doubt either of them would think ahead that much. Fiora might, but not enough to go out and buy lube. Same reason why there's a pregnancy risk here, neither of them bought condoms or any form of birth control. But I figure they'd both be okay with kids. Probably have similar reactions if that happens from this romp, Shulk nearly shitting himself or having a heart attack and Fiora in sheer disbelief but also kind of excited and nervous at the same time. But by the time of the birth they'd have prepared themselves a good amount. I'm leaving it up in the air as to whether they conceive though.

I just assumed bigger would be more likely to hurt from my own experience I guess. My hymen broke from a 9 inch dildo. There was blood and pain. Granted it might've been because I still had a bit of those antidepressants in my system and wasn't getting wet enough but yeah. Now I have an 8 inch one because the 9 incher's vibrating function broke and plus the battery compartment was too tight, so I got a refund for it and bought a smaller one. Both bigger than 6 inches which I'm pegging Shulk at though, so I'd assume there'd be enough natural lube there that it won't hurt, but probably still be kind of a tight fit.

I'll add a spoiler warning to the thread title, sorry again to everyone who I've spoiled.

Just reading over your description, you pulled a hallmark trait in writing some authors are masters at. I’m not a professional writer, but in simpler, artistic terms you are putting a shy persona up against it’s polar opposite (kinda like red/ green)That alone would magnify the “shyness” in the person. It works for some writers; for others it doesn’t work well. However, in the real world, there’s a superstitious belief that opposites attract.

Shy people have certain traits they all share to various degrees, just being a loner and keeping to oneself wouldn’t necessarily make someone “shy”, but bottling up feelings, being timid, hesitant, or reluctant to gravitate towards assertive outgoing people might. one way I like to convey shyness in my writing is breaking eye contact with the speaker, but I utilize many of the traits I’ve listed above since shyness plays off fear - fear of rejection, lack of acceptance - but also fuels insecurities.

I don’t know if you read other author’s works here, but my storyline “A Slut’s Triangle” has a lot of shyness in it considering the protagonist Ashleigh (a transvestite)is in a sexual relationship with a guy that’s cheating on his girlfriend and the girlfriend falls in love with Ashleigh.

Kantarii said:

Just reading over your description, you pulled a hallmark trait in writing some authors are masters at. I’m not a professional writer, but in simpler, artistic terms you are putting a shy persona up against it’s polar opposite (kinda like red/ green)That alone would magnify the “shyness” in the person. It works for some writers; for others it doesn’t work well. However, in the real world, there’s a superstitious belief that opposites attract.

Shy people have certain traits they all share to various degrees, just being a loner and keeping to oneself wouldn’t necessarily make someone “shy”, but bottling up feelings, being timid, hesitant, or reluctant to gravitate towards assertive outgoing people might. one way I like to convey shyness in my writing is breaking eye contact with the speaker, but I utilize many of the traits I’ve listed above since shyness plays off fear - fear of rejection, fear of acceptance - but also fuels insecurities.

I don’t know if you read other author’s works here, but my storyline “A Slut’s Triangle” has a lot of shyness in it considering the protagonist Ashleigh (a transvestite)is in a sexual relationship with a guy that’s cheating on his girlfriend and the girlfriend falls in love with Ashleigh.

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I didn't write the original, this is fanfic. I wouldn't say she's his polar opposite, just that she's definitely more fiery than he is and would be more likely to take charge.

I get the point that being a loner doesn't automatically equal shy. I'm introverted, but once I get to know someone I'm kind of loud and obnoxious at times.

He does show some timid hesitation though. Being the "chosen one", he gets visions of the future, most of them somebody dying at the hands of the enemy. For awhile he'd clam up and not tell the person "I just had a vision and you DIE in it", and it took that vision coming true and him having to do everything in his power to save the person before he'd finally say he had it. This happened until Reyn (his hotheaded jock friend) finally put his foot down and gave him a come to Jesus meeting about "we're a team, so if you have a vision, you tell us, we'll stop it together" and it was AWESOME. From that point forward he tells everybody the visions as he has them.

I've poked around and read a little bit. Transvestites aren't my cup of tea. I only get turned on by hetero, cisgender stuff, or if it's an image, either hetero cisgender or male solo. Not that I have anything against trans or gay/bi/whatever people of course, it's just that my sexual desires are very conventional and vanilla, and I'm a heterosexual cisgender female so HELL YEAH BONERS AND CUM. And before any lonely boys PM me offering to cam themselves, I'll come out right now and say no thanks, I'll get off on people I haven't talked to and fanart, thank you very much. Because that has happened before. I've got so many PMs like that...

So long story short I'll politely decline. I think Novus' example would be closer to what I'm aiming for.

For what it's worth...

Some of the shyest guys I've ever met have turned out to be total freaks in the bedroom. And I mean shy like quiet, not into public places, parties, chatting, that kind of thing. But alone, a whole other side comes out. Not just sexual, but that's part of it. I find most of these men a)have grown up with sister's or strong female influences and b)have had a painful relationship (not necessarily romantic, but usually). And just because he's shy doesn't mean he doesn't have a stubborn streak, or a fetish, or crazy fantasies that he's willing to act on but too afraid to initiate.

Not touched on here and advice of another kind

writing a shy submissive male is going to earn you some abuse. Your character and yourself will be called a cuck a pussy a faggot and a variety of other names.

These trolls are the real men loving wives trolls. The last couple of years they have been slinking out of the LW category and somehow finding and trolling any story that features either extra marital sex or a guy that's anything but get on your knees bitch.

Alice_Rosaleen said:

Some of the shyest guys I've ever met have turned out to be total freaks in the bedroom. And I mean shy like quiet, not into public places, parties, chatting, that kind of thing. But alone, a whole other side comes out. Not just sexual, but that's part of it. I find most of these men a)have grown up with sister's or strong female influences and b)have had a painful relationship (not necessarily romantic, but usually). And just because he's shy doesn't mean he doesn't have a stubborn streak, or a fetish, or crazy fantasies that he's willing to act on but too afraid to initiate.

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Ha! Now I'm wondering if he does have a fetish at all...does kinda get stubborn when the enemy pisses him off about her though.

lovecraft68 said:

Not touched on here and advice of another kind

writing a shy submissive male is going to earn you some abuse. Your character and yourself will be called a cuck a pussy a faggot and a variety of other names.

These trolls are the real men loving wives trolls. The last couple of years they have been slinking out of the LW category and somehow finding and trolling any story that features either extra marital sex or a guy that's anything but get on your knees bitch.

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That's unfortunate...I don't think those trolls will find fanfic though, but if they do, I'll just ignore them. Thanks for the warning regardless.

Video games have spoilers now???

When did I get so old?

Soma99 said:

When did I get so old?

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Yesterday?

Soma99 said:

Video games have spoilers now???

When did I get so old?

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Yes, games have plots so thick you can cut them with a knife xD They've come a long way since Pacman.

So, jotting down a few ideas so I don't forget, feel free to add your two cents, people.

He'll observe that he's harder than he's ever been before, and that he'd woken up with morning wood during puberty a few times and had some wet dreams. Idk if I should say he masturbated or not, leaning toward saying he did a time or two as a teen just to see what it was like. Anyway, he'll notice that although he got hard before from the above two things, he never got this turned on before and he thinks this is the hardest he's gotten. His cumshot into her is more satisfying than ever before too, probably a pretty good sized load.

He'll have some noticeable pre cum, and idk if it's cheesy or not to have her reference one of his most memorable battle quotes from the game: "I'm really feeling it", which I always thought looked more like a sex quote. But she'll definitely make a comment about that, whether it's "you must be really feeling it" or "you're really getting into this". I want input on this. Is it cheesy to reference battle quotes?

Shy is often situational. In some environments a person can be shy but in others they can be ebullient. Confidence and eye contact is a big part of it. Shy people are often very observant. They often have some charactoristic that seperates them from others. A large facial birth mark could be one. Various diagnoses and deficiencies. Often these charactoristics aren't noticable to most people.

I have found here many stories that delve into such things as shyness don't do at all well. It is fascinating how abusive some people are. I figure it is these people who really are the ones who miss out. They don't get nuance. It isn't my strong suit either but I aim to keep all I have. I have a theory that the ebullient have strong neural pathways while shy people have many more neural pathways which enables more complexity. I don't know if it is true. I think autism may make a mess of the theory but apart from that...

Howard Gardener dealt with this . He labelled eight kinds of intelligence which overlapped to an extent but had different attributes. You might get pointers from him or some one similar. It is an uncertain, difficult subject.

I have never seen the word "ebullient" before, but from context clues I gather it means not shy, outgoing?

Funny you mention autism though, I actually have it. High functioning Asperger's. Probably the main reason I've never had a romantic relationship myself...the social awkwardness. I'm convinced if I were to have a boyfriend now though, I'd only want him around when I wanted sex and then tell him to go home because I enjoy my alone time, so I'll have to get less socially awkward and slightly less introverted first.

In a way Shulk is a lot like me there. Introverted and nerdy, maybe not as socially awkward, but keeps to himself. And he gets to have some sweet lovin' with his childhood friend, lucky boy...if only I had some really close male childhood friends. I had male friends yeah, but not really close ones. The one male friend I developed a little crush on is married with a daughter now so yeah, he's off limits.

DragonCat91 said:

Funny you mention autism though, I actually have it. High functioning Asperger's. Probably the main reason I've never had a romantic relationship myself...the social awkwardness. I'm convinced if I were to have a boyfriend now though, I'd only want him around when I wanted sex and then tell him to go home because I enjoy my alone time, so I'll have to get less socially awkward and slightly less introverted first.

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Forgive me for smiling, but it was out of recognition It`s commendable that you actually realize that. Many people with autism go through life without ever realizing that they just need their 'alone time' to relax, so you`re doing well.
Just don`t fret about it, that`s how autism works. Accept yourself and perhaps someone will accept you as well. That`s not much different from any kind of relationship, really.
And anyone wondering, no I don`t have autism; I`m merely a self-proclaimed expert out of necessity.

DragonCat91 said:

The one male friend I developed a little crush on is married with a daughter now so yeah, he's off limits.

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You can always write an erotic fantasy about it. That`s what lit`s for, too

Gentleman_G said:

Forgive me for smiling, but it was out of recognition It`s commendable that you actually realize that. Many people with autism go through life without ever realizing that they just need their 'alone time' to relax, so you`re doing well.
Just don`t fret about it, that`s how autism works. Accept yourself and perhaps someone will accept you as well. That`s not much different from any kind of relationship, really.
And anyone wondering, no I don`t have autism; I`m merely a self-proclaimed expert out of necessity.


You can always write an erotic fantasy about it. That`s what lit`s for, too

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Thank you for the kind words! I'm convinced there's a soulmate for me out there somewhere and the universe will align and allow me to meet him when I'm ready. Preferably before I'm 40 though, as I'm 26 now.

Heh...I prefer writing smut game fanfic, and I don't crush on this guy anymore, more like I'm happy for him. His little girl is adorable. It'd just feel awkward fantasizing about a real person who I know I have no chance with.

Back on topic though, is it cheesy to reference the battle quote "I'm really feeling it"?

DragonCat91 said:

I want input on this. Is it cheesy to reference battle quotes?

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Chances of anyone on here picking up on it are very slim. Chances of them commenting on it either way are even slimmer. I quote video game dialogue and build in references in my stories, and it just blends. Only I know it's there as near as I can tell.

The other way to do it is to call it out, but that was my key complaint with Ready Player One. That he explained every single game reference. It got tedious. Yes, I'd have missed most of the early references, but unless they were key to the plot, my feeling was that they were better left for the real fans of that era to find.

"Let's do this!" He cried, referencing Call of Duty, Modern Warfare, before plunging his cock into...

You get the picture.

So no, I don't think it has to be cheesy.

JasonClearwater said:

Chances of anyone on here picking up on it are very slim. Chances of them commenting on it either way are even slimmer. I quote video game dialogue and build in references in my stories, and it just blends. Only I know it's there as near as I can tell.

The other way to do it is to call it out, but that was my key complaint with Ready Player One. That he explained every single game reference. It got tedious. Yes, I'd have missed most of the early references, but unless they were key to the plot, my feeling was that they were better left for the real fans of that era to find.

"Let's do this!" He cried, referencing Call of Duty, Modern Warfare, before plunging his cock into...

You get the picture.

So no, I don't think it has to be cheesy.

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It's a bit different here when it's the actual character who says the line getting some loving. I'm thinking something like:

She looked down at his stiff, outstretched shaft, eyes widening. He wasn't overly huge, but decent sized anyway and she noticed a bead of clear liquid at the tip. Clear, not white, so it was just precum.

She gave him a seductive smirk. "You're really feeling it, aren't you?"

"Uh...I suppose I am." Damn, I must say that in battle way too much...

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The quote being "I'm really feeling it" of course. But wow, linking to youtube and explaining the reference is just cheesy.

I've poked around and read a little bit. Transvestites aren't my cup of tea. I only get turned on by hetero, cisgender stuff, or if it's an image, either hetero cisgender or male solo. Not that I have anything against trans or gay/bi/whatever people of course, it's just that my sexual desires are very conventional and vanilla, and I'm a heterosexual cisgender female so HELL YEAH BONERS AND CUM. And before any lonely boys PM me offering to cam themselves, I'll come out right now and say no thanks, I'll get off on people I haven't talked to and fanart, thank you very much. Because that has happened before. I've got so many PMs like that...

So long story short I'll politely decline. I think Novus' example would be closer to what I'm aiming for.[/QUOTE]

I can respect this. Diversity is what makes life worth living. Honestly, the reason I started writing was because I couldn’t find the stories that interested me. It’s a pass time for me, nothing more.