ElectricBlue
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Any Advice from Romance Writers?
- Thread starter LoquiSordidaAdMe
- Start date
Alice_Rosaleen
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You know that old chestnut: boy meets girl, boy shackles girl, boy takes girl to the woods, girl knows more about the woods than him because of her days as a field guide and he ends up falling in a pit, everyone lives happily ever after
Hypoxia
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Oh yeah, that one. I got stuck with:You know that old chestnut: boy meets girl, boy shackles girl, boy takes girl to the woods, girl knows more about the woods than him because of her days as a field guide and he ends up falling in a pit, everyone lives happily ever after
Boy meets girl. Girl leaves boy. Both masturbate thinking of the other. Space pirates kidnap girl. Boy steals rocket, defeats pirates, reclaims girl, but aliens with tentacles have stolen her heart. Boy returns home, marries childhood sweetheart, but *that* girl is always in his head, tentacles and all. The end?
LoquiSordidaAdMe
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I had no idea writing in the Romance category was so... complicated.
I had no idea girls masturbated after leaving their guy.
ElectricBlue
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All the bloody time, apparently. We need to lift our game as lovers, we men. Or learn to play the violin
.
NotWise
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All the bloody time, apparently. We need to lift our game as lovers, we men. Or learn to play the violin
Or (as happened to a woman I once corresponded with) lock in her a trailer anytime you're gone. That way she can't leave you, no matter how bad you are.
Alice_Rosaleen
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I think Gerald's Game was his closest attempt. Shivers indeed.
Alice_Rosaleen
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When I cleaned houses, I went into a man's living room and no joke saw a jail cell style setup in the corner, floor-to-ceiling bars. He said it was "for bad people". I quickly got "an emergency text" and had to leave
NotWise
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When I cleaned houses, I went into a man's living room and no joke saw a jail cell style setup in the corner, floor-to-ceiling bars. He said it was "for bad people". I quickly got "an emergency text" and had to leave
Good time to leave. And find a new client.
Unfortunately the woman I knew was married to the man who locked her in the trailer. It was a nice trailer. At first she thought something like, "Ah, he loves me. Isn't that cute?" Then it got old fast. It took a few months for her to get out of the trap.
"Romance" has a dark side.
SimonDoom
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The penguin planet will be the subject of next year's Geek Pride Story event.
SimonDoom
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Isn't that what marriage is all about?
NotWise
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Normally, no. Besides, the romance usually happens before the marriage and sometimes HEA becomes happy for now.
ElectricBlue
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Excellent! That will be flipping tentacular. With slime
.
NotWise
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Excellent! That will be flipping tentacular. With slime
Scented slime?
All the bloody time, apparently. We need to lift our game as lovers, we men. Or learn to play the violin
Throwing everything at us but the kitchen sink must be foreplay. I knew I was doing something wrong.
Hypoxia
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This is LIT. Boy meets girl(s) and/or boy(s) and/or mantis women. Girl meets boy(s) and/or girl(s) and/or studly centaur(s). They feel a spark but Mama disapproves and/or calamity strikes and/or careers keep them apart. After much struggle, pain, and missed messages, they consummate. Bells ring, lights flash, the Greek pantheon smiles from on high, and they skip the pre-nup. Happy ending.
See, the formula ain't so complicated. Slots and tabs and action, that's all it takes.
See, the formula ain't so complicated. Slots and tabs and action, that's all it takes.
And, uhm, since when did all that happen?
Also, I'd like to go back to my sand box. Life was sooooooooooo much easier before puberty.
Ostrich in Head buried land,
TeflonGuy.
Hypoxia
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Everywhere, everyday, in every way, if you but look hard enough. Except that boy-meets-mantis-woman is always a vignette.
Pubic hair changes everything. Nair doesn't help.
SimonDoom
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All the bloody time, apparently. We need to lift our game as lovers, we men. Or learn to play the violin
Is this a band camp reference? Does that have meaning to someone in Australia?
ElectricBlue
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Context is in one of my stories. The biggest compliment ever paid to me by a woman was that I played her body like a violin. One remembers a phrase like that.
SimonDoom
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I figured that your reference was somewhat more sophisticated than a reference to band camp, but I thought I'd ask.
I actually think that's a great simile -- the idea of playing a person's body, like an instrument. It's a cliche, but a good one. And yep, that's high praise.
Alice_Rosaleen
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That's material for a story right there...
