Do you tend to learn toward dominate or Submissive

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Might I suggest the word you seek is 'Dominant'?

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I thought the misspelling of "lean" in the title was actually kind of insightful.

Also, lowercasing dominate and capitalizing Submissive is an intriguing twist.

I come in half-snark only. I do think it's interesting.

Dominate is a verb

Dominant is a noun.

When you eventually grow up, you might understand the difference.

Communication on Lit is by words. It's rather important to use them correctly.

Or you show yourself up as ignorant. Not a good start.

Blazexx said:

I lean toward dominate.

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I tend to lean more towards sadism, but I've often felt masochistic, too. When I am playing with someone, then I am certainly a sadist.

Scotsman69 said:

Dominant is a noun.

When you eventually grow up, you might understand the difference.

Communication on Lit is by words. It's rather important to use them correctly.

Or you show yourself up as ignorant. Not a good start.

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What the hell? The first person who corrected you wasn't being an asshole, just simply helping you. Calm down.

This forum is not to bash on people, it is to be helpful, sharing your thoughts and interests, and seeing people who can relate to you, not just sexually.

Hmmmmmm this is a hard choice!

I'm a switch but I suppose I lean closer to a submissive. If I have the right Dominant I choose sub. However if I have the right sub I choose to be the Domme! I really love that I have it both ways! It's like having your cake and eating it too!

I like to say that bottoms top, as soon as they realise they can; tops bottom as soon as they can find someone who will top them.

(speaking of correcting terms, read the essay linked in my signature. The person with the flogger in their hand is not necessarily the dom.)

I would definitely being your test sub.....

DeepGreenEyes said:

I thought the misspelling of "lean" in the title was actually kind of insightful.

Click to expand...

DeepGreenEyes said:

Also, lowercasing dominate and capitalizing Submissive is an intriguing twist.

I come in half-snark only. I do think it's interesting.

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Yup, interesting approach.

CurvAppeal said:

This forum is not to bash on people, it is to be helpful, sharing your thoughts and interests, and seeing people who can relate to you, not just sexually.

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What?

I don't see how this thread deserves much more than:"Hey, if you stay some time, you'll figure it out on your own and if you don't intend to stay for some time - why care, gtfo."

Scotsman69 said:

Dominant is a noun.
pssst: ~whispers~ it can be an adjective:
adjective: dominant
1. most important, powerful, or influential.
"they are now in an even more dominant position in the market"
synonyms: presiding, ruling, governing, controlling, commanding, ascendant, supreme, authoritative More ~clickety click~
When you eventually grow up, you might understand the difference.

Communication on Lit is by words. It's rather important to use them correctly.

Or you show yourself up as ignorant. Not a good start.

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I was fairly well regarded in my youth as to my grammatical habits. As I have aged (hard to say if I have matured), I have learned to relax and have fun with the language.

If I understand what someone means to say, then they have succeeded in their endeavor, which is to communicate with me.

Why, and to whom, would it be "important" to use words "correctly?"

I have no doubt that I made some identifiable error(s) in THIS post.

Near as I can tell though- I didn't begin a sentence fragment with a preposition and end it with a period.

To answer the OP:

I tend to dominate in most things. I am dominant in nature for the most part, so I would say I have "dom" tendencies but not in the "I am DOM, hear me ROAR" sort of way. It is not the most dominant aspect of my personality or for that matter my sexuality.

I could see myself being switchy, potentially. Tried it a coupla times with the ex....She was good at the role reversal but it didn't feel "real" to her in the role of a service top. My submission felt genuine. It IS a relief and a pleasure to have someone else decide things sometimes.

I haven't done any BDSM but if I did I would probably lean more towards the sub side. I'm too much of a pleaser. And something about being told what to do does sound hot.

query said:

I was fairly well regarded in my youth as to my grammatical habits. As I have aged (hard to say if I have matured) I have learned to relax and have fun with the language.

If I understand what someone means to say, then they have succeeded in their endeavor, which is to communicate with me.

Why, and to whom, would it be "important" to use words "correctly?"

No doubt I have made some identifiable error(s) in THIS post.

Near as I can tell, I didn't begin a sentence fragment with a preposition and end it with a period.

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It's likely that many people reading the OP were able to suss out its meaning in this particular case. At the same time, it's equally likely that the post confused some people. And it's absolutely clear that the post also caused many people to regard its writer with some disdain for the use of imprecise language.

You seem to be suggesting in your post, quoted here, that imprecise language ought to be accepted so long as some number of people might be able to perceive its meaning. But doesn't that, by definition, mean that you're fine with some people not being able to understand it? Why would anyone ever want to communicate in such a way that some people, who otherwise understand the language perfectly well, might not be able to follow his remarks? Makes no sense to me.

Dominant

Switch, leaning sub

I am a switch, but I lean to being a sub. It really depends on the mood I am in. I like to please and there is nothing sexier in the world than a femdom.

midwestyankee said:

It's likely that many people reading the OP were able to suss out its meaning in this particular case. At the same time, it's equally likely that the post confused some people. And it's absolutely clear that the post also caused many people to regard its writer with some disdain for the use of imprecise language.

You seem to be suggesting in your post, quoted here, that imprecise language ought to be accepted so long as some number of people might be able to perceive its meaning. But doesn't that, by definition, mean that you're fine with some people not being able to understand it? Why would anyone ever want to communicate in such a way that some people, who otherwise understand the language perfectly well, might not be able to follow his remarks? Makes no sense to me.

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I definitely agree that precision with language prevents a host of misunderstandings.

I'm fine with any communication that I am interested in being formatted haphazardly, as long as it isn't grotesquely and painfully so.

I can get how (at least the original iteration) was skirting that edge for some, perhaps many.

I am just old enough to have been taught the "see and say" method for reading rather than phonics. Perhaps because I was, or perhaps I had an affinity for the quick scan, it has served me well. I do realize though, that at times I skip over key points or get essential details just wrong if my eye doesn't rest on a key word long enough.

I suspect that is why spelphing errors don't grate my eye much but you're and your grinds me to a halt.

I think anyone, (and everyone) could benefit from a conscious pursuit of improvement in their communication skills. I, for example, am far too fond of subordinate phrases (and parenthetical asides).

I think the OP and most do the best they can at the time, and over time are more apt to improve with positive examples of those they are privileged to rub shoulders with, than the proverbial red pen of shame.

I guess my white knighting there was about the sharp rebuke. There were a couple of other grammarians that noticed things and pointed them out in a way that seemed more helpful and less likely to simply induce a defensive response. Admittedly the OP WAS defensive when a fairly important distinction in what I gather was the original text was pointed out.

I have enjoyed your gift for language. I worry sometimes when in the company of my linguistic betters, that I apply a bit too much of the polished but extraneous flourish. That my vernacular elevates unnecessarily, and well I can come off as a poser or as the British put it a tosser. ~grin~

p.s. "suss' is a great, underutilized word...I would have considered it for my word of the day if I had not already decided on codswaddle.

hmmm...got me thinking..

As I re-read my own post for clarity I DID find myself disagreeing with myself.

I strongly object to the notion being taught in modern education that a teacher ought not correct grammar and spelling in for example subjects that are NOT grammar and spelling.

That "getting ideas out' trumps learning to communicate your ideas or to understand the ideas of others.

...And this isn't dirtystory-ica. One would like to presume a level of literacy here.

I agree that one should probably expect to be taken a little less seriously with sloppy syntax.

Needs some balance, I think.

As I look past the beam in my eye, I see a LOT of motes on the windows of other's glass houses when they play the grammar "knock-out" game. Those with the education, experience and true gift with language rarely seem to.

Just once I would like to see an cleverly artful correction done with great humor and elan..

I DO see those sort of gentle corrections when it comes to content. Where someone kindly explains that a neophyte has some counterproductive assumptions built into their thoughts on a subject.

With grammar it seems ignore it or break out the red pen and the ruler. (I am also old enough to recall corporal punishment in the classroom..on the other hand...it worked.)

DeepGreenEyes said:

Also, lowercasing dominate and capitalizing Submissive is an intriguing twist.

I come in half-snark only. I do think it's interesting.

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"I come in half-snark only" would make for a great title for a porno; probably British, possibly involving librarians.

I think it is interesting too. Freudians would take it as an indicator of switchyness. Interestingly, I too capitalized Submissive when i was writing about my switchyness after purposefully NOT capitalizing dom other than to poke fun at those that do.

midwestyankee said:

It's likely that many people reading the OP were able to suss out its meaning in this particular case. At the same time, it's equally likely that the post confused some people. And it's absolutely clear that the post also caused many people to regard its writer with some disdain for the use of imprecise language.

You seem to be suggesting in your post, quoted here, that imprecise language ought to be accepted so long as some number of people might be able to perceive its meaning. But doesn't that, by definition, mean that you're fine with some people not being able to understand it? Why would anyone ever want to communicate in such a way that some people, who otherwise understand the language perfectly well, might not be able to follow his remarks? Makes no sense to me.

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To be perfectly truthful, all of us know exactly how "dominate" is most likely to be misused, and folks are no more likely to be confused by it than by using it properly.

Humans are fucking genius at "distilling the truth from the vapour of nuance" as Neal Stephenson put it.

Stella_Omega said:

To be perfectly truthful, all of us know exactly how "dominate" is most likely to be misused, and folks are no more likely to be confused by it than by using it properly.

Humans are fucking genius at "distilling the truth from the vapour of nuance" as Neal Stephenson put it.

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If the only people reading this forum were regulars who have grown accustomed to this misuse, I would agree with you. But we both know there are probably more people reading here who do not post than there are those who do. That this is true is an argument with which I'm sure you're quite familiar because I know you've used it to support the argument in some of your own posts from time to time. I don't doubt the ability of our regulars to suss out the OP's intent. I do wonder about the ability of such flagrant misuse of terminology that is central to understanding the nuance of bdsm practice to misinform and thus confuse readers who are newer to the forum and, possibly, to bdsm as well.

I think tone matters when correcting people, too. I mean, lets be honest, "I think dominant is the word you're looking for" is a bit snarky. "Is the word you're looking for" (or "is the word you seek") is a bit condescending. And "when you grow up you'll understand the difference" is downright rude.

I like to think I have a good vocabulary, but I misuse words occasionally. If someone corrected me with a tone of superiority, I'd probably have an attitude with them back as well. Sure, spelling is important, but there's no reason to get an attitude with someone who's legitimately trying to discuss something just because they mispelled/misused a word.