Daddy Doms and the girls who love them

callinectes said:

Thanks for the welcome. very nice panties BTW!

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thank you - I try to please a very demanding audience

For the life of me I really don't understand this form of play. There are cliched aspects of it that might appeal at times like sitting on a Dominants lap more often than not but the rest of it doesn't seem very service orientated to me. Sounds like an ongoing barter between the Dominant and willful child. How does general conversation work within this context if the submissive and partner inisist on infantalising her position in the relationship. Or is it a match of wills ranging from attempted ongoing topping to final submission or worse yet reward. I have seen conversations between vanilla couples that border on this in public and its been very difficult not to laugh at times. Especially seeing as it always appears overt and loudly portrayed.

Pleaseeeeeeeeee see my first line

Yes I am aware thats a rant .

@}-}rebecca---- said:

For the life of me I really don't understand this form of play. There are cliched aspects of it that might appeal at times like sitting on a Dominants lap more often than not but the rest of it doesn't seem very service orientated to me. Sounds like an ongoing barter between the Dominant and willful child. How does general conversation work within this context if the submissive and partner inisist on infantalising her position in the relationship. Or is it a match of wills ranging from attempted ongoing topping to final submission or worse yet reward. I have seen conversations between vanilla couples that border on this in public and its been very difficult not to laugh at times. Especially seeing as it always appears overt and loudly portrayed.

Pleaseeeeeeeeee see my first line

Yes I am aware thats a rant .

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For the life of me I really don't understand the urge to write an insulting rant about something one does not understand.

Shankara said:

welcome - well stated

I hope you find it safe here and continue to contribute.

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Nice post, Shankara.

I am not a Daddy Dom, but I would like to welcome callinectes as well.

JMohegan said:

For the life of me I really don't understand the urge to write an insulting rant about something one does not understand.

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I said both that I didn't understand John and also that my perception was based only on cliches. I also pointedly alluded to having only experienced anything of the apparent cliched genre in vanilla situations .I intend on furthering my knowledge of the topic.

@}-}rebecca---- said:

I said both that I didn't understand John and also that my perception was based only on cliches. I also pointedly alluded to having only experienced anything of the apparent cliched genre in vanilla situations .I intend on furthering my knowledge of the topic.

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http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/daddydom.html

gotta turn off my google filter. i will be back with more.
btw your friend shankara seems extremely knowledgeable on the subject

Kajira Callista said:

http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/daddydom.html

gotta turn off my google filter. i will be back with more.
btw your friend shankara seems extremely knowledgeable on the subject

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Thanks KC and I am rereading the thread currently

Kajira Callista said:

http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/daddydom.html

gotta turn off my google filter. i will be back with more.
btw your friend shankara seems extremely knowledgeable on the subject

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quietly backs out of the thread for now.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

http://www.silencednolonger.net/DaddyDom_article.htm

searching through the nonsense is taking a long time lol

I was overcome by humility there for a moment and had to back out.

Daddy play can be early misunderstood and it's too bad another word can't be used, but darn it, Daddy just does it so well. The gay community worked out the fear around that work long ago. Some years ago I came out as Bi and into BDSM to my two adult sons. About a year later for my birthday the youngest sent me a Daddy ball cap. I treasure it and still laugh when I see it - he know exactly what he was doing, the little shit.

Those two links KC posted more-or-less capture the concept. This sorta came out of no where for me here at Lit, and I like it. I needed to clarify a few things to make sure I was clean in my motives, and i am. There are not a great many who play that with me here and I will not try to overlay it on anyone. When that roll is brought into play I have fun and approach it with respect.

(I even passed up cookies from Gracie to protect someone who asked, all in good fun. hee hee)

More thoughts in time.

KC, thank you for the links you posted. I've never really taken the time to research Daddy Doms myself, but those links said exactly what I feel my Daddy and I are now doing if you change little girl to pet. I am going to show these to Him and get His reactions.

Like I said before, it isn't about age play, incest or anything of the sort for us and I sure am not going to be able to "get away" with acting willful towards Him. My goodness He's 7000 miles away right now and I can tell when He's not pleased with me over something I say or the way I say it. I start grovelling immediately.

Shankara20 said:

*pat on head*

thats a good girl...

I would hate to have to discipline such a pretty girl...

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liar

I'm not sure where I posted it, but this definately brings to mind my feeling on calling someone 'daddy' when I first came, which was YICK. Now I've been known to call Betticus daddy, and I believe I recently called Shank daddy, once. I still wouldn't call K daddy, that still gets my yick factor. But it's interesting to see me go from NEVER, to using as a term of affection. lol

graceanne said:

liar

I'm not sure where I posted it, but this definately brings to mind my feeling on calling someone 'daddy' when I first came, which was YICK. Now I've been known to call Betticus daddy, and I believe I recently called Shank daddy, once. I still wouldn't call K daddy, that still gets my yick factor. But it's interesting to see me go from NEVER, to using as a term of affection. lol

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Daddy Betticus hmmmmm? yum yum


bad Shank, bad bad bad........

Shankara20 said:

Daddy Betticus hmmmmm? yum yum


bad Shank, bad bad bad........

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LOL Perv.

Interesting subject... many random thoughts strung together...

Incest related "play" (thinking of things in terms of playing always seems odd to me... anywho) would squick me out. Welcome to queasy in my tummy city.

However, I've never interprited DaddyDom philosophy/style/whatever-you-like-to-call-it as being a role play of an incestuous Father/Uncle/Grandpa leering at his daughter/niece.grandkid sort of thing.

I've always thought it was more of a mature, older, experienced gentleman who cherishes his partner and nurtures her [or his] growth to become all that he knows s/he is, but she doesn't necessarily see in herself [or himself]. The relationship is still power based, kink on and all that, but the psycholog or umm... energy, supporting things is maybe a bit softer and more nurturing than one might find in a more traditional or presumably typical Master/slave sort of relationship.

I should probably confess my theories regarding DaddyDom may be (greatly) tainted by the annoying habit I have of being attracted to men at least 15 years older than me... who tend to enjoy encouraging and teaching me new things... and some days I just need to be little again, because I wasn't ever allowed to be, in the first place. I suppose that could fall under age play (particularly since I have the odd ability to look like a young teen, when dressed the part), but my mind makes this sharp line of distinction between being Loved in that little girl place, and being Loved as a capable, adult partner.

CutieMouse said:

I've always thought it was more of a mature, older, experienced gentleman who cherishes his partner and nurtures her [or his] growth to become all that he knows s/he is, but she doesn't necessarily see in herself [or himself]. The relationship is still power based, kink on and all that, but the psycholog or umm... energy, supporting things is maybe a bit softer and more nurturing than one might find in a more traditional or presumably typical Master/slave sort of relationship.

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Yes, that is precisely right. That's why it's Daddy/girl and not Daddy/daughter. It's not about incest at all. You have hit the nail on the head about Daddy/girl relationships, that is exactly correct.
*wild applause*

Etoile said:

Yes, that is precisely right. That's why it's Daddy/girl and not Daddy/daughter. It's not about incest at all. You have hit the nail on the head about Daddy/girl relationships, that is exactly correct.
*wild applause*

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Hooray! I actually "get" something!

*laughing*

@}-}rebecca---- said:

For the life of me I really don't understand this form of play. There are cliched aspects of it that might appeal at times like sitting on a Dominants lap more often than not but the rest of it doesn't seem very service orientated to me. Sounds like an ongoing barter between the Dominant and willful child. How does general conversation work within this context if the submissive and partner inisist on infantalising her position in the relationship. Or is it a match of wills ranging from attempted ongoing topping to final submission or worse yet reward. I have seen conversations between vanilla couples that border on this in public and its been very difficult not to laugh at times. Especially seeing as it always appears overt and loudly portrayed.

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Okay, let me try to break it down based on what you've said. I think you're assuming too much infantilization here. I'm not sure where you got the idea about sitting in somebody's lap is part of Daddy/girl relationships, because I would say it really isn't. It might be part of D/g play, but that's just sceneing...sitting in the lap isn't something that really goes on automatically in all D/g relationships!

It also sounds like you're assuming that the girl is willful. I think that's more a bratty sub thing. I don't think the definition of "girl" includes willful. In fact, for many girls, it is about serving Daddy. D/g can very much be a service-oriented relationship.

How does general conversation work? Well heck, the way it works for any D/s couple. We talk, same as everybody else. For me personally, I usually defer to my Daddy's greater knowledge and experience - after all, e is 20 years older than me. But that doesn't mean I'm being infantilized in any way; we have normal conversations but I acknowledge that I don't know as much about some things.

It really does sound like you're thinking of bratty subs, not little girls. That's the only situation I know of where there is an ongoing battle of wills. I'm not offended by your rant, I think it's just born of a lack of understanding and perhaps assigning characteristics of one group (brats/SAMs) to another group (Daddy/girl relationships).

Ah Etoile and CutieMouse..you both expressed the D/g dynamic much better than I did!

I agree 100% with everything you said.

JMohegan said:

I am not a Daddy Dom, but I would like to welcome callinectes as well.

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Thanks so much! It's nice to be here.

JMohegan said:

For the life of me I really don't understand the urge to write an insulting rant about something one does not understand.

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Fortunately, it is not a prerequisite for posting that one writes in a manner or with opinions that meet with your approval.

callinectes said:

Thanks so much!

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You are quite welcome.

Still reading..........looking at opinions of people living in Daddy/girl relationships on other Forums currently ....cogs turning very slowly.........still struggling with the dynamics .

Thanks to all the above especially Etoile for your understanding

Will report back here when I get 'it' to my own satisfaction.

Daddy/girl doesn't do it for me, Daddy/boy does, when I was bottoming I was the boy.

There is a very silly episode of Blackadder featuring "Kate, uh Bob" which really captures my limited sub imagination.

This has nothing to do with the plumbing of the participants, it's the dynamic of the relationship.

I read the articles that Etoile posted and however much I try I can't move past the word 'daddy.'

I am aware that in some parts of the States the word Daddy is used my his children for their whole life.

In the UK it is a word used by very young children only. Once they are about 7 years old it falls by the wayside and is replaced by 'Dad.'

I can't help but wonder if that is why it has such an ick factor for me, and the articles posted by Etoile did not resonant with me either.
In my culture the word 'Daddy' has associations with young children only.
Add in to that my dislike of role play and Daddy/girl play and Daddy/girl scenes start to merge. Whether they do in anyone else's head is not the issue.

As we have all said ad nauseam, labels are only what you make them. But if I had read a profile about Daddy Doms, I would have moved on depite his definition.
Its the actual word 'Daddy' thats the problem.

shy slave said:

I read the articles that Etoile posted and however much I try I can't move past the word 'daddy.'

I am aware that in some parts of the States the word Daddy is used my his children for their whole life.

In the UK it is a word used by very young children only. Once they are about 7 years old it falls by the wayside and is replaced by 'Dad.'

I can't help but wonder if that is why it has such an ick factor for me, and the articles posted by Etoile did not resonant with me either.
In my culture the word 'Daddy' has associations with young children only.
Add in to that my dislike of role play and Daddy/girl play and Daddy/girl scenes start to merge. Whether they do in anyone else's head is not the issue.

As we have all said ad nauseam, labels are only what you make them. But if I had read a profile about Daddy Doms, I would have moved on depite his definition.
Its the actual word 'Daddy' thats the problem.

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I think you mean the articles KC posted, yes?

I was not aware of the different usage of Daddy in the UK, that's very interesting. I don't know for sure if that's the reason this is squicking you so much, or if it's just the suggestion of incest in general. All I can do is repeat the description CutieMouse gave - it really has nothing to do with incest, but more about there being a teaching and nurturing component to the D/s relationship. Again, it's not Daddy/daughter...it's Daddy/girl.