polite refusal

stickygirl

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HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)
 
Pretend you had a snack earlier and it upset your stomach, or that you drank some stream water and it did. Then promise that you will eat later-just don't say it will not be her food.
 
Thanks both. What really worries me is that the proposal is that the food will be kept in a tent for 36hrs before being reheated… :eek: I think I might just say we have no way of storing it cool and it would be a 'shame if it went to waste'. After 36hrs, it's going to be walking away anyway!!
( PS we don't have bears in the UK so that's ok )
I just feel a bit put-upon and would prefer to make independent arrangements
 
I always try to avoid lies if possible. Because I honestly dont like them and because the truth is easier to remember and prove.
I would just say "I dont eat that/dont like that" without much explanation. If they pushed it then I would probably go for upset stomach or a special diet. What wouldnt be so much of a lie since I am always on some special diet or another.
 
Thanks both. What really worries me is that the proposal is that the food will be kept in a tent for 36hrs before being reheated… :eek: I think I might just say we have no way of storing it cool and it would be a 'shame if it went to waste'. After 36hrs, it's going to be walking away anyway!!
( PS we don't have bears in the UK so that's ok )
I just feel a bit put-upon and would prefer to make independent arrangements
Uggh, that is gross, I couldn't eat that. I would find something to eat that actually made me sick, then go home, Lol.
 
"Sorry, I am a vegan" - though StrayKat is right, don't lie "No fucking way am I going to eat your poisonous offerings. Blah YUK!!!" I think that will work.
 
I have zero friends because I refuse to lie. A simple NO works for me.
 
"Sorry, I am a vegan" - though StrayKat is right, don't lie "No fucking way am I going to eat your poisonous offerings. Blah YUK!!!" I think that will work.

Being eat up with carcinogenic flora isn't VEGAN.
 
Like JtohisPB said, I find I usually have no problem by just saying, "No, thanks." If pressed, I just say, "Thank you, but I'm not hungry." Which isn't a lie, because the food being offered usually kills my appetite.
 
I did a course in food safety a while ago, which means I know a dangerously small amount, but when I'm offered food I suspect might not be safe by national standards, I still find it difficult to say "Fuck no way - do you realise how frickin dangerous cold rice can be?".
Maybe I'll follow advice here and instead of saying "Actually, I looked in your fridge and happened to notice you have meat stored above fresh produce so, if it's all the same to you, I'll go hungry" I'll just say "No thanks"
 
I wont eat your food cuz I don't know where your fingers were before you handled the food. But no usually works.
 
HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)

Tell her you're fasting for religious reasons. Even the Supreme Court buys that excuse. :cattail:
 
HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)

It sounds like you haven't pitched your tent yet. Why not offer to look after the meal component of the trip, or at least the meals you are concerned about. You can point out that you've taken a food safety course, make a bad ass trail mix, and would just like to treat. You don't have to say anything about the other's cooking at all.

This would ensure you are not consuming bacteria burgers, won't have you foraging for berries while everyone is complaining about upset tummies, and may improve the odds (in your favour) of you getting laid.
 
Thanks Emerson, for considering the getting laid thing. I'm surprised that no one had mentioned eating raw meat yet, but it's early still ;)
 
Thanks Emerson, for considering the getting laid thing. I'm surprised that no one had mentioned eating raw meat yet, but it's early still ;)

Well, you did say you don't have bears in the UK . . . ;):D

HDI politely refuse the offer of food on a camping trip from someone's mother whose cooking skills are awful? (Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but who knows I could get laid)

You own nothing to nobody. A simple, "no thanks, I'm good." will suffice. If they ask again, just repeat yourself, "no thanks, I'm good." Few people will force you to eat when you don't want too, much less press for an explanation. FWIW, I use this phrase all the time with people whom don't have the same level of cleanliness as I do when it comes to preparing and caring for food.
 
Premise: Presumably, you are talking about food being offered for a lengthy time together and not just a one-time meal, therefore you have to set a precedent that establishes that this will be a recurring issue.

How I would politely refuse, is the way I normally handle the situation (because this is an issue for me). I quietly mention
"I have certain peculiar (pause) sensitivities to the way food is prepared. While I am sure the food can be made properly by yourself, the length of the list of how it is preparation is rather lengthy and full of subtleties that it might be easier if I was to prepare it myself."
It could go in either of two ways from that, they might agree or they might graciously refuse, insisting that they can prepare it for you, provided you let them know the particulars.

At which point I would simply say "I'm so intrinsic used to them, it's hard to spell out the whole list and if one subtlety is missed..." you might want to vary this, but I would try to suggest an implied gross factor being politely omitted with an embarrassed, pained expression "...you would not want to come withing fifty feet of me a couple hours after I've eaten."

Most rational people will understand that pressing for more information will result in something highly vile and descriptively gross being offered to explain 'why,' and that it might be better to accept the refusal of their preparing your food.

Your motivation: If you don't sell it well enough, you WILL have to eat her prepared food.

You might want to say this was something that a doctor had ordered you to do to avoid an unnecessary and messy situation.
This isn't an outright lie. Doctors have long supported that proper food preparation is essential to avoid dire and sometimes life threatening food borne illness.

Avoid mentioning this as being recent. If you HAVE had food prepared by her recently, you could say you were trying to be painfully polite by accepting her food. That you don't mind the consequences when you have to deal with the aftermath yourself, but you would be put off that anybody else would have to suffer with it by being near you.

I added this last in case they are also belligerently gracious. Key words are "aftermath" and "suffer."

It's key that you don't let her watch you preparing your food. She will see through your lie. If she noses around while you are preparing the food, just tell her "it makes me nervous when someone watches, and if I forget something important because of that nervousness..."
Most people get the hint at that point.
 
You own nothing to nobody. A simple, "no thanks, I'm good." will suffice. If they ask again, just repeat yourself, "no thanks, I'm good." Few people will force you to eat when you don't want too, much less press for an explanation. FWIW, I use this phrase all the time with people whom don't have the same level of cleanliness as I do when it comes to preparing and caring for food.



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:D
 
You might also temper this, if she says she is going to prepare breakfast (which on a camping trip might mean something like cold cereal).

If she asks you if you need to prepare breakfast, counter her question with a question like "what is breakfast going to be?"

If she answers with cold cereal, then you could say "That isn't something you need to worry about, and you'd be happy to have what she serves." This makes the polite refusal for her cooking as not being wholly unreasonable and not personal against her.
 
You might also temper this, if she says she is going to prepare breakfast (which on a camping trip might mean something like cold cereal).

If she asks you if you need to prepare breakfast, counter her question with a question like "what is breakfast going to be?"

If she answers with cold cereal, then you could say "That isn't something you need to worry about, and you'd be happy to have what she serves." This makes the polite refusal for her cooking as not being wholly unreasonable and not personal against her.
Thanks LWulf
I've now discovered it'll only be Friday night's meal - so no 36hrs of bug-fest temperatures. If it looks too suspicious I can always survive till breakfast. I'll be cooking a breakfast with bacon n eggs, grass, sheep droppings and a dash of dead bugs. So long as the temp is high enough for an appropriate time we're safe :p
 
As an added comment, I find an antacid prior to any non food-safe meal usually helps keep it down*. I normally have to do this whenever I go out to a restaurant because rarely do I find restaurants serve food properly cooked.

Since I was trained in food safety as a restaurant manager, I know exactly what to look for and feel for Gordon Fucking Ramsay when he visits a restaurant for the first time.

*Medically speaking, this isn't something you want to do recurrently.
 
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