The Secret Diary of Janey Jones

pete said:

maybe a little well-placed potpourri might help ?

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sweepthefloor said:

I am thinking that to be loved, might be a nice feeling.

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cookiecat said:

It is a nice feeling.

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sweepthefloor said:

it's always too good to be true. is this time going to be any different?
i am all alone.

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ultramarineblue said:

This is exactly what I'm feeling right now.

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sweepthefloor said:

I was hopeful because that is how humans survive. I let myself believe it’s all gonna be alright. I was loved for one day, the love turned into many days and sleepless hot nights. The life pulse and sex music notes give us no promise with a guaranteed orchestra. I am standing in an empty pit, all the musicians have gone home and the actors have left the stage.

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cookiecat said:

It's not alright anymore?

You were loved for many days. That seems a good thing.

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sweepthefloor said:

This is what happens on dates- the whispering in my mind.
They don't know what I am thinking.
It is not entirely fair to the date that they do not know my mind is whispering:
tell me to shut up. pull my hair. rape me.
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In other breaking news: after years of this- I got slapped the other day-- for the first time in my life. As I suspected I probably would- I liked it. I didn't know it was coming, and we never talked about it. I did on date two tell him that I wanted to be owned and completely controlled when I am lucky enough to trust and love. Maybe I did not articulate the thought well- I still have a hard time describing exactly what I desire. He admitted he did not quite understand what I was saying but that he thinks he knows what I am trying to say: and he thinks he likes it.

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