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liv2srv

Really Experienced
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Jan 29, 2011
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For those of you that identify as 'straight' but have yet to let your partners in on your thoughts about being with another man, what's holding you back from telling her? Is it because you know her reaction would be unfavorable? Is it because you're just not ready to let the cat out of the bag yet? Some other reason?
And, in a perfect world, what would you like her reaction to be?
 
We are a swinging MWC wife is Bi and I after finding out my buddy likes it too am leaning to Bi. She said it just does not turn her on to see two guys doing it. So we have guy days out.
 
It was quite a while before I shared my bisexual secret with my first wife. At best I would say she was tolerant of this part of me but never supportive. We did used to swap partners with other couples and enjoy the occasional MFM 3'sum. During these sessions there was frequent "accidental" male to male contact, crossing of swords etc, but she was never interested in seeing the two of us guys together. She was the focus of attention and she wanted it kept that way.
This attitude disappointed me and my bisexual activities were mainly restricted to when I met other couples on my own when the guy was bi or a few man on man sessions.
On the other hand my current wife is totally turned on by man on man action and is entirely supportive of my interest in that aspect of my life. As you can imagine, these days I'm smiling.
 
magicalmoments said:
It was quite a while before I shared my bisexual secret with my first wife. At best I would say she was tolerant of this part of me but never supportive. We did used to swap partners with other couples and enjoy the occasional MFM 3'sum. During these sessions there was frequent "accidental" male to male contact, crossing of swords etc, but she was never interested in seeing the two of us guys together. She was the focus of attention and she wanted it kept that way.
This attitude disappointed me and my bisexual activities were mainly restricted to when I met other couples on my own when the guy was bi or a few man on man sessions.
On the other hand my current wife is totally turned on by man on man action and is entirely supportive of my interest in that aspect of my life. As you can imagine, these days I'm smiling.
Click to expand...

Smiling's good. You're a lucky bastard!
 
Now we masturbate together watching gay porn. I think the raw sexuality of it gets her going.
 
I haven't told my wife because I know she will call me "a disgusting sick depraved pervert" - hence no point even trying to raise the subject with her. Ideally I would like her to accept my bi stance and watch or join in - that won't happen either. She is somewhat sexually repressed and always has been.
 
I have admitted to my dear wife that used to enjoy giving blowjobs on a regular basis to my best friend and that I was his willing and eager, personal cocksucker. She was surprised, but she chalked this up to adolescent sexual experimentation, which in a way I guess it was. When she asked if I still felt the urge to do this I said that if we weren't married I might but since we are married I don't. I wasn't telling her the truth when I said this. I lied because I was afraid that if I had told her the truth it would have meant the end of our marriage. What I haven't told her is that I still enjoy giving men blowjobs and that I'm still an insatiable and obsessive cocksucker and that I frequently meet with guys to suck their cocks. I feel extremely guilty for being dishonest with her and for the deception and duplicity required to cover up and conceal my activities. I wish that my wife could understand and accept this about me, but knowing her I'm sure she wouldn't. I've been a practicing cocksucker all my adult life, but she's the only person aside from the guys whose cocks I've sucked who knows about my early teenage blowjob activity with my friend. This is the second marriage for both of us. My first wife had no idea that I was a cocksucker either.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
sterculius said:
I have admitted to my dear wife that used to enjoy giving blowjobs on a regular basis to my best friend and that I was his willing and eager, personal cocksucker. She was surprised, but she chalked this up to adolescent sexual experimentation, which in a way I guess it was. When she asked if I still felt the urge to do this I said that if we weren't married I might but since we are married I don't. I wasn't telling her the truth when I said this. I lied because I was afraid that if I had told her the truth it would have meant the end of our marriage. What I haven't told her is that I still enjoy giving men blowjobs and that I'm still an insatiable and obsessive cocksucker and that I frequently meet with guys to suck their cocks. I feel extremely guilty for being dishonest with her and for the deception and duplicity required to cover up and conceal my activities. I wish that my wife could understand and accept this about me, but knowing her I'm sure she wouldn't. I've been a practicing cocksucker all my adult life, but she's the only person aside from the guys whose cocks I've sucked who knows about my early teenage blowjob activity with my friend. This is the second marriage for both of us. My first wife had no idea that I was a cocksucker either.
Click to expand...

I understand and sympathize with your concern about not wishing to deceive your wife, your need for honesty is commendable, but I think this situation is not as uncommon as you might think. My last three Boyfriends have all been married, and quite reconciled about deceiving their wives and coming around to my apt to get their cocks sucked. A situation I am equally happy with. In fact on the occasion I was dumped when his wife found out what we were doing - was not because she objected to his getting his cock sucked by an eager slut, but because he was spending money on me! That's what she could not accept.
 
Not Cool

sterculius said:
I have admitted to my dear wife that used to enjoy giving blowjobs on a regular basis to my best friend and that I was his willing and eager, personal cocksucker. She was surprised, but she chalked this up to adolescent sexual experimentation, which in a way I guess it was. When she asked if I still felt the urge to do this I said that if we weren't married I might but since we are married I don't. I wasn't telling her the truth when I said this. I lied because I was afraid that if I had told her the truth it would have meant the end of our marriage. What I haven't told her is that I still enjoy giving men blowjobs and that I'm still an insatiable and obsessive cocksucker and that I frequently meet with guys to suck their cocks. I feel extremely guilty for being dishonest with her and for the deception and duplicity required to cover up and conceal my activities. I wish that my wife could understand and accept this about me, but knowing her I'm sure she wouldn't. I've been a practicing cocksucker all my adult life, but she's the only person aside from the guys whose cocks I've sucked who knows about my early teenage blowjob activity with my friend. This is the second marriage for both of us. My first wife had no idea that I was a cocksucker either.
Click to expand...

The best thing to do would be to tell her or end the relationship even though it's difficult. I cant imagine you'd feel good about passing a disease on to her that's irreversible through any outside sexual acts youve been a part of especially since she seems to love you. Not fair to her. Also im not sure if you have kids or a daughter but im sure it would upset you if someone was doing the same thing to someone you care about.
 
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Unfortunately, lots of women can be just as homophobic and judgmental as men.

We sub-consciously accept that women can be bi-sexual but a bi man is assumed to be really just a closet homosexual who hasn't admitted it yet. A man willing to do anything not purely hetero is somehow less manly. Or maybe just the narrow view that having any sexual thoughts about someone other than your partner is a relationship violation.

Generally speaking women may be more accepting of people with different orientations but we are no more accepting (and maybe less so) of non-traditional sexual activities. A supposedly open-minded woman with lots of gay male friends may instantly "friend-zone" their partner for admitting any such desires. Even my most sexually active friends who criticize meathead male attitudes are actually very traditional in what they expect of their men.
 
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