Coping with mental illness in the real world

yeah, not getting into that.

Hi Kitten,
I am afflicted with the same mess of problems as you are. I was agoraphobic for three years due to lack of interest and paralizing anxiety. I will pm you and we can discuss what techniques we are or have tried.

stickygirl said:

That's great news PK
... been following this thread and happy for you.
Liked the idea of treating your depression as though it was someone else

Click to expand...

You're a doll. thank you for caring enough to check in and for the advice you've given me since I've been around here.

Also, if you ever find yourself in the mindset to remember that method when you're upset in some way, it's definitely worth a shot. It's helped me on a number of occasions since I've came across the idea. So often we get caught up in the mindset of "I'm depressed/anxious." when really we should be thinking "I have depression/anxiety". It's a small but important difference in separating who you are as a person from what you are afflicted by. And in my case, I have always treated others better than myself, so taking care of Mr. Anxiety as if it were an anxious friend, for example, has gotten me to start practicing more self care.

PissKitten said:

I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. I considered posting in the General Board (or whatever it's called) but we all know how terrible that forum is. Also, this post is TW-free and I would like to keep this thread the same way, out of respect for others suffering and reading.

Well, I have been a homemaker/stay-at home partner for the past couple years, more so because I haven't been able to snag a job rather than by choice. I have a promising job interview later this week, this first one I've been called for in over a year. I'm extremely nervous. Not about being turned down, but about getting the job.

That sounded dumb to even me as I typed it, so I don't blame you if you think so as well... I should admit for context that I have clinically diagnosed anxiety and depression, among other damnations. I'm effected daily by these issues in nearly every task. They disrupt my life to a ridiculous degree. The idea of handling random anxiety attacks or being swallowed whole by depression at work (how was I able to handle this in the past?) freaks me out. I'm so scared of having a flashback, anxiety attack or something similar while in the middle of taking an order or something, and I know the anxiety about anxiety is a fucked up endless cycle.

My interview is Thursday and with all the anxiety I'm having over just the thought of working, I'm worried I'll throw the interview for this job I need, or it'll effect my work so much they'll fire me... My question to the cold depths of the internet today is: how might I cope with my mental illnesses during the interview, at work, and generally in the real world?

Things like "just deal with it", "it's in your head/get over it/calm down", "pray about it", "just breathe", etc don't help anyone. If these things worked, no one would have anxiety or anything like it. If you suffer from something that gets in the way of living a normal lifestyle, how do you deal with your ailment in the real world that appears normal and is practical? - i.e. not doing yoga in the middle of the Target.

Sorry for the long post, I appreciate you reading it. Thank you in advance for any advice or kind words- I could definitely use the latter right now, but Im sure we all could...

PMs are welcome.
PK

Click to expand...

Wanted to check in with you and see how you are feeling today. Holidays are especially hard for depression and wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

I'm in the same boat as your kitten, well my issues also manifest in other more annoying ways like my body attacking my digestive tract and prolonging my tendonitis.

Honestly I have zero clue how to combat what you are going through but I will say to try and stay away from medication if you can. I've been on it my whole life and while it does temper the anxiety attacks it has far too many draw backs and sadly my body is now addicted to these medications so I can't stop even though I want to.

Having friends nearby who understand and won't judge you, really helps. Knowing the exits of a building helps me and so does finding a distraction when out and about. Try to find a song, movie, show or something nice to distract your mind from what is really going on.

Depression is a hard thing to tackle for me I tend to get depressed when things don't go my way. I mean like my stomach gives me trouble, preventing me from going out or not getting any sexual physical attention and what not but what keeps me going is knowing there is something that relies on me, a pet a person hell even something that needs to be done at home.

So in a nut shell what I am suggesting is the use of close friends/family, make sure you had a good balance diet, take vitamins to get them to the right level, find something funny to distract you and try to carry on.


I wish you the best of luck and if you want someone to be an ear to listen to you don't hesitate to drop me a PM.

jaF0 said:

Learn to embrace it and make it your friend in lieu of people. It won't betray and disappoint you as people will. It will always be there for you when people bail.

'Sickness will surely take the mind,
where minds can't usually go
Come on the amazing journey
And learn all you should know'

'Come along if you care
Come along if you dare
Take a ride to the land inside of your mind'

Click to expand...

This is actually how it worked with me. I'm into the positive things because I experienced the negative side of it (fearplay and harsh punishments for example). I was once mentally unstable and now I'm not. managed to get through it without any professional help or medication. Just had to "Accept the worst of myself" and work from there. Along with "Others damn well better too." Logic works both ways.

It always revolves around fear. So simply ask yourself "What's the worst that can happen". No, really. Imagine you're going to go up to someone you're attracted too and ask yourself that. The worst possible thing that can happen is that you get a "no" or that there's a misunderstanding. Worse you can do nothing and never find out if your assumption was mistaken or not.

Now what's the best that can happen? That "It'll never happen" can turn into a "Ok, now things are happening." It might appear impossible at first but even "nope logic" can be overcome. It's their fault if they assume things about you. Not yours. You can try to give a good impression but if someone doesn't take it well I say "Sod 'em". Does wonders for my mental health, I can tell you that.

Also I'll let you in on a little secret. Even shrinks can't agree on exactly what mental illness is. It's all involving things that include "society" (that being subjective in and of itself) which people claim one thing about only to actually be doing another after test results. And even something like being gay was once known as a mental illness (and some idiots see masochism in the same light. It does NOT get in the way of my daily life. Anything but). Even something like ADHD can be positive with youtube vids and the like. Additionally if someone is really happy that way and don't care about how "hyper" they are is it really a problem for them? Welp, if they say they don't have a problem then they don't have a problem. Can't help those that want help after all. Doesn't mean they're wrong either. The only concern is if you hurt others. Which we all actually do unintentionally in many "normal" ways so lock us all up in loony bins (If you ever reach a wanting to burn the world phase it's normal, just so you know you're not as much of a danger as you might think at the time). Just be logical and you'll be fine. Look for reasons behind fear. Keep yourself as much as others in mind. Doesn't mean "Care about strangers". Just means "Care about you and those that care enough to get to know you".

In the case of the first poster there is a problem. Because they say it is. It really is all inside your own head. As well as others, but it's yours that matters here. Personally I argue that something like "happy masks" could be right up there. But I prefer the stance of "Everyone has problems that can get in the way of things". We're all human. Those that look past it are the ones that matter. The rest can burn. Worry less about what strangers think and more about what people that get to know you think of the real you. I can state point blank even things like masochism and the like can be gone down well in a public working place. If you treat it as "That ugly subject" then others will pick up on it and likely do the same. If you don't want to be seen "As a freak" then don't see yourself as one. Why care about anyone else that does, eh? Even something as simple as "Oh shit, they think I meant something bad in general" follows this simple logic. Now take this logic and apply it to a job and a CV. Did the interviewer even bother to get to know you? Personally I'm more concerned about hiring someone that is "upbeat and improves moral" over "That guy that does the job really well yet brings the place down". While the later can be picked over the former, the former can also be picked over the later. Consider ways to improve your odds of being hired beyond what's on paper.

Personally I just give myself a mental kick of "Fuck assumptions". State facts and logic. Here's my determination. Trust me or don't. A CV just gets you in the door. From there you got to SHOW what you can do. You know what you go into, you know what you're there for. Beyond a paycheck what does it mean to you? How can you communicate that to others? I might be a jobless bum on JSA but that's the dedication I put in when it comes to people in general. Provided they don't assume/fear the worst of me. Effort gets results. Even if you're not good at it you get better due to making effort alone. If you want to change and be "braver" (or more confident) then make that effort by facing your fears, whatever they may be. Simple as. Running away only makes the pit ever deeper until you inevitably have to fall into it. If you can do something, do it. If you can't consider the possibility that you might be making excuses not to make an attempt (we're all guilty of it). if you really can't then focus on what else you can overcome until such a time you can do something.

I actually know a vid for this somewhere... Let's see here... Here we go.

5 tricks for overcoming fear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDjwfFmXwfE

I also find it helps to be an open book. "This is me, deal with it or don't." You'd be surprised how many interviewers will look past things like being into "weird BDSM things" and the like. Most people know it's your life to live (and if they can't respect that they don't deserve you IMO). Real question is can you do the job? If it's that last part you're afraid about all I can say is practice and research.

I know what you mean about being more scared of getting the job than of not getting it. I don't have anxiety as severe as you but I needed mild sedatives to cope for the first couple of weeks of my current job. Eventually I got used to it and no longer needed them.

PissKitten said:

I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. I considered posting in the General Board (or whatever it's called) but we all know how terrible that forum is. Also, this post is TW-free and I would like to keep this thread the same way, out of respect for others suffering and reading.

Well, I have been a homemaker/stay-at home partner for the past couple years, more so because I haven't been able to snag a job rather than by choice. I have a promising job interview later this week, this first one I've been called for in over a year. I'm extremely nervous. Not about being turned down, but about getting the job.

That sounded dumb to even me as I typed it, so I don't blame you if you think so as well... I should admit for context that I have clinically diagnosed anxiety and depression, among other damnations. I'm effected daily by these issues in nearly every task. They disrupt my life to a ridiculous degree. The idea of handling random anxiety attacks or being swallowed whole by depression at work (how was I able to handle this in the past?) freaks me out. I'm so scared of having a flashback, anxiety attack or something similar while in the middle of taking an order or something, and I know the anxiety about anxiety is a fucked up endless cycle.

My interview is Thursday and with all the anxiety I'm having over just the thought of working, I'm worried I'll throw the interview for this job I need, or it'll effect my work so much they'll fire me... My question to the cold depths of the internet today is: how might I cope with my mental illnesses during the interview, at work, and generally in the real world?

Things like "just deal with it", "it's in your head/get over it/calm down", "pray about it", "just breathe", etc don't help anyone. If these things worked, no one would have anxiety or anything like it. If you suffer from something that gets in the way of living a normal lifestyle, how do you deal with your ailment in the real world that appears normal and is practical? - i.e. not doing yoga in the middle of the Target.

Sorry for the long post, I appreciate you reading it. Thank you in advance for any advice or kind words- I could definitely use the latter right now, but Im sure we all could...

PMs are welcome.
PK

Click to expand...

The help of a qualified professional is often necessary, but then again, if you crunch the numbers, it only amounts to about 45 hours a year. So, you must build a network of friends w/ the same symptoms or disorder.

There are also online forums for specific disorders. For example, if it's PTSD (not saying it is BTW, but its in the anxiety/depression ballpark), check out MyPTSD.com. I'm a member there and there's a great deal of support, wisdom, and advice.

There are many others out there too.

Wishing you the best of luck. I for one know how difficult dealing with work can be. I feel like quitting every single day.

Wishing you the best...