Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Sexual Role Playing > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 07-17-2018, 04:41 AM   #1
SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
 
SEVERUSMAX's Avatar
 
SEVERUSMAX is offline
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 25,985
Second Chances for people who abandon....

.....threads without warning or notice. Any thoughts?

Also, any of you who have done it, any thoughts on why you weren't able to give ample warning to your partners?
__________________
RIP Colleen "Colly" Thomas....we were fortunate to have known you, my dear friend.

In memory of Gabrielle...you've touched all of us, though we never got the chance to know you.

"I have sworn on the altar of Almighty God eternal hostility toward all forms of tyranny over the minds of men." - Thomas Jefferson

Irony that Trump expels Dreamers, but they love America far more than he ever could. #DreamersMoreAmericanThanTraitorTrump

ďLove was never meant to be so cruel. Itís not about forsaking others. Itís about embracing each other. Whoever wanted to make people choose between lovers was a sadist." Aphrodite in "Aphrodite's Kiss"

I reject your morality and substitute my own.

#I'llGoWithYou #NeverTrump

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=339478

Last edited by SEVERUSMAX : 07-17-2018 at 04:48 AM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-17-2018, 01:00 PM   #2
thestruggle
A Little Sparrow
 
thestruggle's Avatar
 
thestruggle is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: ensnared.
Posts: 4,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by SEVERUSMAX View Post
.....threads without warning or notice. Any thoughts?

Also, any of you who have done it, any thoughts on why you weren't able to give ample warning to your partners?
It's not that deep. For me, I get that you may have invested time and energy into threads, but so have your co-writers. They may have many other things that suddenly demand more time and energy. Reach out if you feel you must to get closure, but don't be entitled and remember that life is much wider than hobby writing.

My co-writers are always friends and generally hella busy, which may be different than anonymous authoring. I'm busy, too. However, if I have time and they abruptly don't, I find something else to do.
__________________
I toured a light
So many foreign roads
For Emma, forever ago.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-17-2018, 01:14 PM   #3
SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
 
SEVERUSMAX's Avatar
 
SEVERUSMAX is offline
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 25,985
Quote:
Originally Posted by thestruggle View Post
It's not that deep. For me, I get that you may have invested time and energy into threads, but so have your co-writers. They may have many other things that suddenly demand more time and energy. Reach out if you feel you must to get closure, but don't be entitled and remember that life is much wider than hobby writing.

My co-writers are always friends and generally hella busy, which may be different than anonymous authoring. I'm busy, too. However, if I have time and they abruptly don't, I find something else to do.
I understand the priorities of real life, and I've had to abandon a thread or two myself, due to that, but I do feel that some kind of note would help the co-writer know that this is what is going on. If it's RL urgency, then, yes, I would respect that. It's just people who don't bother to communicate this before abandoning it.
__________________
RIP Colleen "Colly" Thomas....we were fortunate to have known you, my dear friend.

In memory of Gabrielle...you've touched all of us, though we never got the chance to know you.

"I have sworn on the altar of Almighty God eternal hostility toward all forms of tyranny over the minds of men." - Thomas Jefferson

Irony that Trump expels Dreamers, but they love America far more than he ever could. #DreamersMoreAmericanThanTraitorTrump

ďLove was never meant to be so cruel. Itís not about forsaking others. Itís about embracing each other. Whoever wanted to make people choose between lovers was a sadist." Aphrodite in "Aphrodite's Kiss"

I reject your morality and substitute my own.

#I'llGoWithYou #NeverTrump

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=339478
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-17-2018, 01:20 PM   #4
SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
 
SEVERUSMAX's Avatar
 
SEVERUSMAX is offline
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 25,985
I mean, I have a job, a family, RL responsibilities, too. But I'm simply saying, even a quick note with the letters "RL" would suffice.
__________________
RIP Colleen "Colly" Thomas....we were fortunate to have known you, my dear friend.

In memory of Gabrielle...you've touched all of us, though we never got the chance to know you.

"I have sworn on the altar of Almighty God eternal hostility toward all forms of tyranny over the minds of men." - Thomas Jefferson

Irony that Trump expels Dreamers, but they love America far more than he ever could. #DreamersMoreAmericanThanTraitorTrump

ďLove was never meant to be so cruel. Itís not about forsaking others. Itís about embracing each other. Whoever wanted to make people choose between lovers was a sadist." Aphrodite in "Aphrodite's Kiss"

I reject your morality and substitute my own.

#I'llGoWithYou #NeverTrump

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=339478
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-17-2018, 01:30 PM   #5
thestruggle
A Little Sparrow
 
thestruggle's Avatar
 
thestruggle is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: ensnared.
Posts: 4,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by SEVERUSMAX View Post
I understand the priorities of real life, and I've had to abandon a thread or two myself, due to that, but I do feel that some kind of note would help the co-writer know that this is what is going on. If it's RL urgency, then, yes, I would respect that. It's just people who don't bother to communicate this before abandoning it.
Yeah, courtesy is nice. But sometimes life just doesn't allow it and it's not all about us getting to know that someone is abandoning a thread. Different strokes, different priorities, and not everyone's the same. You would hope that people communicate to their partners or significant people that they're on this website, but some don't - it can be delicate. Diversity in outlook and standpoint are kind of what make this stuff interesting, but that could just be me. I guess I wouldn't worry about something that's so individual and transforming others is a pointless/controlling exercise, anyway. It's hard to find a sure thing, but I find amusing myself to be the best route. Otherwise, you may wanna find a new hobby!
__________________
I toured a light
So many foreign roads
For Emma, forever ago.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 01:57 AM   #6
pink_silk_glove
Really Experienced
 
pink_silk_glove is offline
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 135
As the vast majority of my stories end with my partner abandoning me I do believe that I have some expertise to lend on the subject.

There are many many reasons why people will drop a roleplay and while most are forgivable, there are a few that are not. When someone stops responding, one can always investigate. Most profiles show a last activity date. If someone just hasn't logged in in days/weeks/months then the reason could be anything. It could be technical - a computer failure or loss of connection. It could be a health or family issue. People lose jobs, get evicted, have children etc. All sorts of things happen and one can only give the benefit of the doubt and hope for the best. For those profiles that hide their logins, one can still post search and see when the latest post was made. Again, if there is no activity, one can never assume.

But when there is activity, then there needs to be an explanation. If someone is online often but not replying to your thread, it could mean trouble for you, but still it could just be a bout of writers' block. If they are not replying to other threads, it could be this or it could be just a lack of time. I know that myself I check my inbox and threads daily but do not always have time to sit and take the care to write something worthwhile. If your partner is posting to other threads but not yours, it still just could be that your story requires a bit more thought or effort (personally mine often do, so this happens to me quite a bit and I understand). I understand all of these things. When they happen, I usually send a friendly pm asking if everything is okay, and a good partner will respond to you fairly promptly. Great partners will even pm you first, letting you know of any delay.

What gets me is when someone is online frequently, often posting to other threads and not bothering to answer my friendly pm! Writing a reply to the thread might take a half hour, an hour, a couple of hours, definitely some significant effort, but one line in a private message takes a minute and can be done from any phone while on a break at work.

'Yes, sorry for the delay. I will reply but I will need a week or two'

or

'No thanks I've lost interest'.

Is that so hard? Most often than not, it is!!

Usually there is no reply whatsoever. You've been ghosted.

Now for those few who know me, I tend to carry myself rather eloquently and reserved, but it's these ghosts that piss me off to another dimension and bring out the most sarcastic and vile foul-mouthed cunt you'll probably find.

Ghosts are the worst thing on a forum like this and they deserve to be maimed with jagged rusty objects dipped in terpentine. Perhaps drizzled in honey and strapped to an anthill. They are the epitome of inconsiderate and/or they are useless cowards. To put in all the effort of setting up the plot and fleshing a character and writing up that intro, then a handful of posts in, it all goes down the drain just because someone didn't have the fucking attention span to follow through or they found something or someone else cheaper or baser to fap to.

And the next worst folks are those who defend them. Oh yes, I've seen more than a few debates on rp forums and in chat rooms were people will actually stand up and defend this behavior. I've seen mods discipline the ghosted, protecting the ghoster, These people deserve to be strangled with the entrails of the maimed ghosters.

Now before I get jumped on by any of you bleeding heart nightingales (and I know that you will, you always do) let me just repeat what you didn't bother reading above. I totally understand when real life gets in the way of a good (or otherwise) roleplay. That I have never and will never hold against anyone. But sometimes someone has just wasted your precious time, and yes I do understand that that is the nature of the beast in roleplay, I have accepted that from the beginning, so now you can accept my views and my rant. They are equally valid. When someone has wasted your time on a whim, because all of their promises in planning weren't worth a pile of lizard dung, it's the WORST thing you can do to someone on a forum like this.

People say, "Oh, you never know the reasons the other person has."

BULL - fucking - SHIT!

Often you don't know - I already stated that. But sometime you do know. Many times you do know. I'm no bimbo. I'm a pretty bright girl and I can put the pieces together. When someone is online regularly, is posting to other threads and asking for new requests, all the while completely ignoring your friendly messages, they are fucking you over because they are a rude coward asshole! So don't even bother rebutting this.
__________________
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 02:01 AM   #7
Jada59
Literotica Guru
 
Jada59's Avatar
 
Jada59 is online now
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 5,788
I think it depends on what you mean by abandon. I once had a guy tell me that women were always leaving him for no reason and no warning. Now I can't speak for what those women said or did but...

In my experience, I have dated guys or spoken to them online and from my perspective, it was going nowhere. They just weren't appealing to me or maybe they were nice but that certain spark wasn't there.

I can recall times when I told them six ways from Sunday that I just wasn't interested but they were not listening. In a case like that, I feel like I have no choice but to walk away. Yeah, I know they'll be baffled but I was nice about it and I did try.
__________________
My works:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/m...ge=submissions

If it's pics or vids that you're looking for, keep on looking!
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 12:35 PM   #8
thestruggle
A Little Sparrow
 
thestruggle's Avatar
 
thestruggle is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: ensnared.
Posts: 4,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by pink_silk_glove View Post

Often you don't know - I already stated that. But sometime you do know. Many times you do know. I'm no bimbo. I'm a pretty bright girl and I can put the pieces together. When someone is online regularly, is posting to other threads and asking for new requests, all the while completely ignoring your friendly messages, they are fucking you over because they are a rude coward asshole! So don't even bother rebutting this.
K.

So you want to determine when people respond and how? It's fine that you have your own expectations and limits. However, we're talking about something that really has very little to do with a violation of YOUR limits and more about you impeding someone else's. This kind of attitude is one of entitlement to me, sorry. Find something else to do. Seriously. You can't control other people this way nor force your expectations on them. You hope that people will reciprocate your efforts, but if they don't, find people who do. Name-calling because someone didn't feel like replying to your thread in their free time seems like immaturity at best, and selfishness at worst. There's always going to be exceptions - someone you may have made a date with doesn't show, or doesn't fulfill their end of the bargain, etc etc. But that's not what you're talking about here. You're talking about an assumption that you're making - a social contract that you're the arbiter of and no one else. You may try to make this apparent prior to your interactions with other writers, but they may or may not respect it. Hey, people in long-term relationships may or may not cheat. You gotta be able to stand on your own two feet in the most personal of times, and in my opinion, this is definitely not one of them. You don't even know these people, lol. And I'm not defending any kind of behavior in particular, I'm just taking issue with your value judgments - valuing your own time has little to do with how others value theirs.

You are not owed an update. That's the bottom line. If you're in a deeply interpersonal relationship with limits made clear, that's one thing. If you're engaging in a hobby activity with strangers, that's something entirely different. I don't think someone's a rude coward asshole just because they lost interest in your thread momentarily or permanently. It sounds like you're investing a lot and getting resentful because others may not match your level of interest. That's frustrating, I understand, but it still doesn't mean that people are supposed to message you on their lunch break. You can still be passionate about your writing - but don't expect people to always match you. That's just selfish.
__________________
I toured a light
So many foreign roads
For Emma, forever ago.

Last edited by thestruggle : 07-24-2018 at 01:17 PM.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 12:44 PM   #9
Paul_Chance
Amused and Amazed
 
Paul_Chance's Avatar
 
Paul_Chance is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SF Bay Area, California
Posts: 12,811
Just in general I think a courtesy note is nice, but there are times when life does intervene, without warning and without mercy.

Also, and kind of related to the other topic of ghosting - well, sometimes the person who did the "ghosting" did tell the other person. The other person just wasn't listening.

Life is beautiful. It's messy. It's complex. Partnerships (as in thread authors) and content providers (as in thread owners) are dissolved all the time.
__________________
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? - George Eliot
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 12:58 PM   #10
thestruggle
A Little Sparrow
 
thestruggle's Avatar
 
thestruggle is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: ensnared.
Posts: 4,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul_Chance View Post
Just in general I think a courtesy note is nice, but there are times when life does intervene, without warning and without mercy.

Also, and kind of related to the other topic of ghosting - well, sometimes the person who did the "ghosting" did tell the other person. The other person just wasn't listening.

Life is beautiful. It's messy. It's complex. Partnerships (as in thread authors) and content providers (as in thread owners) are dissolved all the time.
This was a great way to put it, thanks for sharing!
__________________
I toured a light
So many foreign roads
For Emma, forever ago.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 01:22 PM   #11
SEVERUSMAX
Benevolent Master
 
SEVERUSMAX's Avatar
 
SEVERUSMAX is offline
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 25,985
All very interesting points and assertions, and yes, people have the right to refuse to participate or even ghost if they wish, but if they then try to return, I have the right to have nothing more to do with them.
__________________
RIP Colleen "Colly" Thomas....we were fortunate to have known you, my dear friend.

In memory of Gabrielle...you've touched all of us, though we never got the chance to know you.

"I have sworn on the altar of Almighty God eternal hostility toward all forms of tyranny over the minds of men." - Thomas Jefferson

Irony that Trump expels Dreamers, but they love America far more than he ever could. #DreamersMoreAmericanThanTraitorTrump

ďLove was never meant to be so cruel. Itís not about forsaking others. Itís about embracing each other. Whoever wanted to make people choose between lovers was a sadist." Aphrodite in "Aphrodite's Kiss"

I reject your morality and substitute my own.

#I'llGoWithYou #NeverTrump

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=339478
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 01:56 PM   #12
thestruggle
A Little Sparrow
 
thestruggle's Avatar
 
thestruggle is offline
Join Date: May 2011
Location: ensnared.
Posts: 4,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by SEVERUSMAX View Post
All very interesting points and assertions, and yes, people have the right to refuse to participate or even ghost if they wish, but if they then try to return, I have the right to have nothing more to do with them.
Agreed!
__________________
I toured a light
So many foreign roads
For Emma, forever ago.
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 02:05 PM   #13
LizVegas79
Naughty Advice Doctor
 
LizVegas79's Avatar
 
LizVegas79 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Sin City
Posts: 21,248
In the few RP threads I've gotten involved with I've always tried to give a little warning if I wasn't going to be able to keep up with the pace of the story line and other posters.

Although, I will admit, a few times a thread has taken a dark or gross turn which I didn't care for and in those instances I PM'd at least one or two of the main posters and told them why I was choosing to depart.

It doesn't take but a minute to be polite - even if you're totally grossed or freaked out lol.
__________________
(((Since I can't add these deets to my profile and I'm tired of answering the same question over and over again:
38, happily married bi mom, 5'11", 34B, half Mexican and Portuguese, half none of your business, hubby knows I'm bi but not about Lit).))

MY NEWEST THREAD(S)
Sexy Dreams - Had Any Lately? / (Finally) The Latina Thread!!!

MY FAVORITE THREADS
ASK DOCTOR LIZ - deleted - and then re-instated / Beautiful Dresses, Sexy Outfits and More / (This) Is On My Bucket List
Confess Your Embarrassing Boner Stories To Me! / Pervy Things My Husband Does To/For Me - STILL deleted! ) / Pervy Husband II
Post Challenge - What's the Story Leading Up To The Pic? / Shoe Porn / TEMPLE OF THE GODDESS
WHAT'S HE OR SHE SAYING? / Where Are All The Breast Loving Women? / The Zinc Experiment
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 04:55 PM   #14
Paul_Chance
Amused and Amazed
 
Paul_Chance's Avatar
 
Paul_Chance is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: SF Bay Area, California
Posts: 12,811
I think if you're writing with a partner (as in an SRP) and they stop for no reason, I'd give them a reasonable amount of time to return, then either close the thread or bring in another writer.

Whether I wrote with them upon their return would depend entirely on what happened the first time. But, in general I accept "None of your business but I'm back now" as an answer. I am not seeking a relationship, but a writing partner, and since I am not paying them anything, LOL, they're free to come and go.

Courtesy matters though, even on a free board.
__________________
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other? - George Eliot
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-24-2018, 04:59 PM   #15
LizVegas79
Naughty Advice Doctor
 
LizVegas79's Avatar
 
LizVegas79 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Sin City
Posts: 21,248
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul_Chance View Post
I think if you're writing with a partner (as in an SRP) and they stop for no reason, I'd give them a reasonable amount of time to return, then either close the thread or bring in another writer.

Whether I wrote with them upon their return would depend entirely on what happened the first time. But, in general I accept "None of your business but I'm back now" as an answer. I am not seeking a relationship, but a writing partner, and since I am not paying them anything, LOL, they're free to come and go.

Courtesy matters though, even on a free board.

Fine. Whatev's. I'll be your writing partner Paul
__________________
(((Since I can't add these deets to my profile and I'm tired of answering the same question over and over again:
38, happily married bi mom, 5'11", 34B, half Mexican and Portuguese, half none of your business, hubby knows I'm bi but not about Lit).))

MY NEWEST THREAD(S)
Sexy Dreams - Had Any Lately? / (Finally) The Latina Thread!!!

MY FAVORITE THREADS
ASK DOCTOR LIZ - deleted - and then re-instated / Beautiful Dresses, Sexy Outfits and More / (This) Is On My Bucket List
Confess Your Embarrassing Boner Stories To Me! / Pervy Things My Husband Does To/For Me - STILL deleted! ) / Pervy Husband II
Post Challenge - What's the Story Leading Up To The Pic? / Shoe Porn / TEMPLE OF THE GODDESS
WHAT'S HE OR SHE SAYING? / Where Are All The Breast Loving Women? / The Zinc Experiment
  Reply With Quote

Old 07-28-2018, 03:55 PM   #16
light_shiva
Sailor Neptune
 
light_shiva's Avatar
 
light_shiva is offline
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 6,310
I generally don't give people many second chances to hurt me, but for something just like writing, I try not to get too wound up in it. People (myself included, sorry FHD) are flakey and changing all the time. And they all have their reasons for not wanting to continue a story. The only time I'd be injured if someone stopped in the middle of a story, is if it was with someone I was deeply in love with and it was an extension of our actual love life. But that kind of thing is best kept out of a public eye, IMO.
__________________

Where can you find me? ICTH v2 | Strong Arms | My Stories | Beautiful Pictures

To me, you will be unique in all the world.

  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:02 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.