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How do you 'calm' yourself down when writing a story?

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CertifiedHeat

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Apr 11, 2012
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I'm trying to get back into writing erotica. Whenever I write a story, I have the issue of getting so aroused I become distracted and it is plainly difficult to continue. I guess this is typical, being turned on by your own work since it is usually the result of a fantasy one is brewing in their mind, but it is frustrating because I'm having trouble finishing stories due to this.

How do you finish writing a story despite being outrageously aroused while writing it? I guess, years ago, when I wrote my first stories on here, I just dealt with it, but I'm looking for advice from the experienced writers on here. I would greatly appreciate it. I'm sure this question has been asked before, in some manner, but I couldn't find another thread on it.
 
CertifiedHeat said:
I'm trying to get back into writing erotica. Whenever I write a story, I have the issue of getting so aroused I become distracted and it is plainly difficult to continue. I guess this is typical, being turned on by your own work since it is usually the result of a fantasy one is brewing in their mind, but it is frustrating because I'm having trouble finishing stories due to this.

How do you finish writing a story despite being outrageously aroused while writing it? I guess, years ago, when I wrote my first stories on here, I just dealt with it, but I'm looking for advice from the experienced writers on here. I would greatly appreciate it. I'm sure this question has been asked before, in some manner, but I couldn't find another thread on it.
Click to expand...

Well, I may be inexperienced but since I actually never have this issue, I might throw in my two cents as to why I think that is.

The fact is I think too much about the structure and vocabulary. Is this the best way to say this? Should I be more concise? Should this be cut out? How many colours of nipple there really are?

I know many people just practically free-write the story first and then edit but I've always been doing this more or less simultaneously. So my advice to you is simply take a break from actually bringing the story forward for a moment and instead just edit for a while. It should get your mind off the sexy stuff for a minute at least.
 
I'm a mother and grandmother and the boss (at work when I usually write) multi- and sometimes multi-multi-tasking is required.

Love and Kisses

Lisa Ann
 
CertifiedHeat said:
Whenever I write a story, I have the issue of getting so aroused I become distracted

I guess this is typical, being turned on by your own work since it is usually the result of a fantasy one is brewing in their mind

How do you finish writing a story despite being outrageously aroused while writing it? I guess, years ago, when I wrote my first stories on here, I just dealt with it.
Click to expand...

I don’t know about any other writer but I don’t share your “problem.” I enjoy being able to put my fantasies into words but getting physically aroused (I assume that’s what you mean) is something that’s never occurred and I hope never will.

If you want to write, and were able to deal with your “problem” in the past, then go back to doing what you found successful then.
 
Exercise self-control, power through the next five-hundred or a thousand words, then take a "break" ;).

Edit thoroughly the next writing session coz your tenses are bound to have shifed without you being aware (Simon, please take note :)), and your punctuation will go out the window. If you were sufficiently aroused writing it, and it still makes sense in the cold light of day, it should be a pretty hot sex scene. Generally speaking, when it happens to me, they're the scenes where I say, a couple of months later, "Wow, did I write that?"
 
I sometimes get aroused while writing a story, but I can't say this particular problem has arisen for me. But if it did, I imagine there would be a fairly simple solution, and it would take no more than a few minutes to bring it to a . . . ahem . . . climax. Then I could get back to writing.
 
Ah, just do it.

Ah, fuck discipline. Whip it. Whip it good. Might take me a year to finish a story, but it was worth it...
 
I don't get aroused when I write, but honestly I don't get aroused reading erotica at all. Well except sometimes with a certain fetish :D
 
There was another thread generally about this not too long ago. I was surprised to see such a stark split between authors that experience arousal while writing their stories and those who do not. I definitely fall in your camp. In fact, I tend to do the bulk of the writing only when I am sufficiently "inspired." But, of course, we all have our ways of working and the recipes for success vary widely.

In terms of your predicament, however, I would say this: does it really need to be viewed as a problem? If you're the type to be fueled by arousal while writing erotica, then perhaps you just need to practice channeling it better? I sometimes work myself into a frenzy of erotic thoughts on purpose. It gets the blood pumping, the neurons firing, the ideas flowing. Then I make the act of writing out my fantasy a means of finding satisfaction -- mentally, rather than physically. The more aroused I get, the more intense and exciting the writing gets.

Sure, you eventually need to seek relief in other ways, but then at that point you've got a nice draft of feverish erotica to wrangle and edit down with a clearer mind at that point. This becomes the cycle for me and I'm just used to it now. -- I guess my point is: if this is in your nature, maybe try to embrace it and make use of it, rather than viewing it as a distraction and source of frustration. In time, I'll bet you'll start viewing it as an asset.
 
I tend to focus more pointedly on the writing while aroused, so not the problem you have.
 
Nightwaves said:
Ah, fuck discipline. Whip it. Whip it good. Might take me a year to finish a story, but it was worth it...
Click to expand...

ALL THIS.


I’m far from experienced. For me, writing’s a hobby. Personally, the “predicament” you described is the entire reason that I write erotica: I’m purposely writing stories that get me off, hands free. Editing is mainly setting something aside and then rereading to see if it gives the same/similar rush. If it does, I post; maybe someone else will enjoy the ride too.
 
I think of it like a job. Or a chef cooking something.

Just stay focused and think what it needs to be really hot. To me, that's the real fun of it.
 
SolarRay said:
In terms of your predicament, however, I would say this: does it really need to be viewed as a problem? If you're the type to be fueled by arousal while writing erotica, then perhaps you just need to practice channeling it better? I sometimes work myself into a frenzy of erotic thoughts on purpose. It gets the blood pumping, the neurons firing, the ideas flowing. Then I make the act of writing out my fantasy a means of finding satisfaction -- mentally, rather than physically. The more aroused I get, the more intense and exciting the writing gets.
Click to expand...

Couldn't agree more. One of the reasons I started writing was because nobody wrote it the way I wanted them to write it.

The writing really flows when I get aroused. Welcome it! Embrace it!

Play with it! ;)

Could there be any better scenario than putting the feelings running through your body down on paper :confused:
 
gordo12 said:
Couldn't agree more. One of the reasons I started writing was because nobody wrote it the way I wanted them to write it.

The writing really flows when I get aroused. Welcome it! Embrace it!
Click to expand...

I totally agree. for me, though, the trouble is that when I write when I'm really aroused, I think that the writing is a lot hotter than it really is. I look at it later and wonder, "What was I thinking?"
 
If you can't arouse yourself with your writing, how can you affect anyone else?
 
Hypoxia said:
If you can't arouse yourself with your writing, how can you affect anyone else?
Click to expand...

I've had a lot of people tell me they've been aroused reading what I've written, but it doesn't affect me in that way.

I think maybe I've become stoic(not the word I want to use but my mind is drawing a blank on what I'm looking for) with sex and the written word. I used to sext a couple guys and I guess I kind of turned off my feelings when I did it and I used to 'play'? 'work'? at RLC and again turned off any feelings for sex when I did.
Writing sex is a 'job' in a way. Wish I got paid to do it :D
 
I tend to picture the events in stories I am writing as if they were movie scenes playing in my head. I try to just describe them well enough that I can convey those scenes into words that the readers can follow so they picture the same scene in their heads when they read my stories.

It is arousing as hell when I have basically got a porno playing in my mind over and over until I get it written down. After I get it all onto the page, though, it kind of stops playing in my head and the characters move on to something else.

Masturbating somewhere in the middle of writing a scene seems counterproductive, but whatever works for you is what you ought to do. It isn't as though I never give in to that urge. I just don't do it often. Usually I prefer to wait until I have finished writing and then take care of it.

I've exchanged e-mails with a handful of other authors here, and three of them openly acknowledge the arousal that comes along with writing a good erotic tale is one of the author's "payoffs" for writing. I certainly agree with that.

There was a very similar post not long ago, but it has already disappeared from this forum.
 
Thank you for the replies, everyone! I greatly appreciate it. My stories are inspired by my own fantasies, and it just stokes the fire while I'm writing about them, as my imagination runs wild and I am writing uninhibitedly about the scenario in my head, and I just can't help but become incredibly aroused while typing it out. If I don't, ahem, touch myself while writing, I can usually finish it, but if I even touch myself, I have to get off. My lack of self-control is underwhelming when it comes to that, I guess.

SolarRay said:
There was another thread generally about this not too long ago. I was surprised to see such a stark split between authors that experience arousal while writing their stories and those who do not. I definitely fall in your camp. In fact, I tend to do the bulk of the writing only when I am sufficiently "inspired." But, of course, we all have our ways of working and the recipes for success vary widely.

In terms of your predicament, however, I would say this: does it really need to be viewed as a problem? If you're the type to be fueled by arousal while writing erotica, then perhaps you just need to practice channeling it better? I sometimes work myself into a frenzy of erotic thoughts on purpose. It gets the blood pumping, the neurons firing, the ideas flowing. Then I make the act of writing out my fantasy a means of finding satisfaction -- mentally, rather than physically. The more aroused I get, the more intense and exciting the writing gets.

Sure, you eventually need to seek relief in other ways, but then at that point you've got a nice draft of feverish erotica to wrangle and edit down with a clearer mind at that point. This becomes the cycle for me and I'm just used to it now. -- I guess my point is: if this is in your nature, maybe try to embrace it and make use of it, rather than viewing it as a distraction and source of frustration. In time, I'll bet you'll start viewing it as an asset.
Click to expand...
This is a great way to view it and helps change my paradigm, so to speak! Thank you!

HeyAll said:
I think of it like a job. Or a chef cooking something.

Just stay focused and think what it needs to be really hot. To me, that's the real fun of it.
Click to expand...
Funny you mention that. I'm a chef (wannabe) by trade. You are right. The physical arousal I feel makes it more exciting, but sometimes it becomes too extreme to ignore for very long. It just feels like my drafts take forever to go through at times.
 
CoffeeWithMonkeys said:
I've had a lot of people tell me they've been aroused reading what I've written, but it doesn't affect me in that way.
Click to expand...
High scores hint, and some comments state, that I've aroused readers even with stuff I'm not into myself. I don't go out of my way to read incest but I have written a lot. I merely pretend they're not MY kinfolk. Imagination does the trick. Especially when three generations are at it. Visualize other faces...
 
I don't even worry about it. Personally, I find it enjoyable to be hard while I write. It may sound odd to some of you all, but I feel like I do my best erotic work under those conditions.
 
CertifiedHeat said:
I'm trying to get back into writing erotica. Whenever I write a story, I have the issue of getting so aroused I become distracted and it is plainly difficult to continue. I guess this is typical, being turned on by your own work since it is usually the result of a fantasy one is brewing in their mind, but it is frustrating because I'm having trouble finishing stories due to this.

How do you finish writing a story despite being outrageously aroused while writing it? I guess, years ago, when I wrote my first stories on here, I just dealt with it, but I'm looking for advice from the experienced writers on here. I would greatly appreciate it. I'm sure this question has been asked before, in some manner, but I couldn't find another thread on it.
Click to expand...

I write in public spaces like cafes. When at home, I've literally taken masturbation breaks.

Other times, I simply write outside of my own kinks.
 
I can't write in public spaces. The response I give to my own writing is only one reason. I can't write with commotion going on around me. Even if I start writing to music, it's off before I'm finished writing and I didn't even notice it going away.
 
When I write, it's in deathly silence in my home, usually lounging back with the laptop steaming. Every so often I rise, scutter around the house, work out plots and words, head back to the couch, and transcribe. That's at home. If we're rolling in the little RV, or taking a motel break, I move away and poke out story notes on a tablet in the middle of the night -- keyboarding would be too loud. I'm free to finger myself as needed anywhere in the process.

Kirkland (CostCo) spiced rum in the coffee usually helps. Write in some public place? No, I'd play chromatic harmonica instead. St Louis Blues, or Sukiyaki, or Low Rider. I'm still working on Rhapsody in Blue.
 
I wish I could take my laptop to our local coffee place and write, but when I was gone for 6 weeks last year following Pearl Jam's tour my laptop mysteriously got broken so now it's not portable. It's held together with duct tape and stays open by leaning against a salt lamp.

I love our local coffee shop. It's on our Main St and I know everyone that works there, including one of my 'kids'.
Sometimes when we volunteer all day at the food pantry we'll hang out at the coffee shop for a long lunch and play games. They have a bunch of board games and puzzles there.

I can't let noise bother me when I want to write or I'd never get anything done! I guess when you have 8 kids you get used to background noise. Honestly, it's the silence that scares me! :D
 
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