Dear X:

Dear artistes Fernando Carretta, Frank Thorne, Gilbert Hernandez and Tohru Nishimaki,

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Thank you for inspiring me to pick up my pen again, shouting out a big fuck you to the world of passionless banality that continuously stifles true creative thought, helping me fully acknowledge my erotic, sensual self and re-devote my life and my craft to the makings of erotic arts.

Yours in everlasting priapated horny artistic (and sometimes drunken) brotherhood,

Me
 
Dear X

I'm not going to answer the emails anymore. You're kinda creepin' me out and well, if I answer them, then you'll send me more and I just don't want that kinda attention from you. So go ahead and lurk, go ahead and learn all you can about me, but please don't email me any more okay. I'm gonna block you, because well... you've gotten just too creepy.

Thanks,

Red
 
To many

I know that that isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth, and lies have gotten me nothing but pain.

I'm sorry I hurt you, all of you, but it wasn't about you. It wasn't even about the situation- it was about me.

To be fair, I won't pu anyone through that again.

Me
 
FallingToFly said:
I know that that isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth, and lies have gotten me nothing but pain.

I'm sorry I hurt you, all of you, but it wasn't about you. It wasn't even about the situation- it was about me.

To be fair, I won't pu anyone through that again.

Me

*hug*

--

Dear Sister:

I'm a Martyr? Okay. I'll stop wincing when my back hurts, I'll stop stretching to try and alleviate the pain, I'll stop cooking dinner and let you do it - just don't expect me to eat any. I have a severe phobia of your food after the mince incident.

You said to me the other night "You always try and outdo me" after I'd mentioned my back hurting when you said yours did. Newsflash - I'm the one who's been in and out of hospital, had all sorts of tests and crap done, been scared shitless and unable to speak to you about it because you're so petty you think this is about me "outdoing" you.

You have a week off, and you will do fuck all. I already know this. I expect it. I laughed earlier when you said it wasn't my "job" to do the cooking, when you know damn well that was part of the agreement with our parents. I laughed harder when I said you could help by cleaning up after dinner, and you said you'd rather cook. Of course you would, its "easier".

So I'll just carry on doing it all, I really don't care, I just wish you'd get an attitude adjustment.

And one of these days, I'll say this to your face. One of these days.
 
Dear momentary pain in my personal ass,

is it even physically possible for you to shut the fuck up for five minutes, when I ask you nicely to pleeeeeeze just let something go?

I know aquarians are argumentative but gimme a break. Just one.

bijou
 
Dear you ignorant, impatient, annoying, self-important, obnoxious, rude, customer;

First of all, this is a full service restaurant. It is NOT McDonald's with waiters.

Secondly, I got your fucking order right; I got EVERY order right, on your party of thirteen, including all the nit-picky special instructions, without writing a God damned thing down. YOU forgot what you ordered, not me. Do you not remember the part where I repeated the order back and asked if it was right?

Thirdly, when you ask for extra lemons, please wait until I have a chance to get back to the kitchen before reminding me. Twice.

Fourthly, I had three other parties to take care off while you were there. Don't assume I have forgotten anything until I don't bring it. See above.

And lastly, don't you ever, EVER, make a snide remark about a man my age doing my job. I do my job because I like it and I am good at it. I take home thirty grand a year and eat for free every single day.

Sincerely, Your Perturbed Server

P.S., Just in case you were wondering, no, I didn't think you were hot, but with that low-cut blouse you were sporting like a Broadway hooker, I WAS checking out your tits. :p

BTW, I know that wasn't your natural hair color. ;)
 
slyc_willie said:
Dear you ignorant, impatient, annoying, self-important, obnoxious, rude, customer;

First of all, this is a full service restaurant. It is NOT McDonald's with waiters.

Secondly, I got your fucking order right; I got EVERY order right, on your party of thirteen, including all the nit-picky special instructions, without writing a God damned thing down. YOU forgot what you ordered, not me. Do you not remember the part where I repeated the order back and asked if it was right?

Thirdly, when you ask for extra lemons, please wait until I have a chance to get back to the kitchen before reminding me. Twice.

Fourthly, I had three other parties to take care off while you were there. Don't assume I have forgotten anything until I don't bring it. See above.

And lastly, don't you ever, EVER, make a snide remark about a man my age doing my job. I do my job because I like it and I am good at it. I take home thirty grand a year and eat for free every single day.

Sincerely, Your Perturbed Server

P.S., Just in case you were wondering, no, I didn't think you were hot, but with that low-cut blouse you were sporting like a Broadway hooker, I WAS checking out your tits. :p

BTW, I know that wasn't your natural hair color. ;)

Way to go, slyc. Two thumbs up.
 
That same woman sat in my section when I was waiting tables. It's been almost 30 years. You'd think she'd've learned by now. :rolleyes:
 
Dear Co-Worker,

I know that it is considered rude to laugh at anothers problems but I just can't help myself. For the past year you have been a royal pain in my ass. Your laziness, your rascist comments and your sexism have been paid for by me for too long for me to ignore your troubles. Your lies and covering up, not to mention your ass kissing have given me more headaches than I care to imagine. Too many time have I had to pick up your slack, too many times have I had to defend myself because of your B.S. not to find your current problems amusing.

Yesterday your husband showed up at work looking for you. You weren't there, you had called off sick.

This morning the boss confronted you with a set of complaints from a patient. It seems the patient and the patients family mmbers had written a rather nasty letter to the hospital telling about the bad attitude they had received from the Aide. It seems the Aid had told the patient, who had just undergone reconstructive surgery of his hip, to get his lazy ass out of bed and onto the commode. When he commented that he couldn't the Aide had left him there to defecate on himself. When the Aide had shown up over an hour later and had to clean him up the Aide had complained to him about his unwillingness to help himself. The Aide told him they should make him clean himself up.

When you heard this you told the boss it had to have been me, you hadn't dealt with a patient with a hip since before you moved to Florida. I'm sure it was a surprise to you when the boss showed you the part of the letter where the patient named names. There was no way you could truly defend yourself against that, although I know you tried to. You told the boss that you were sure this was because of me, I must have told the patient to complain about you because of your race. (Now how did I manage that one? I was several hours north visiting my parents at the time, and the boss knows it because I picked up something at her request from Ron Jon's that day. With the receipt to prove it.)

Right after this your husband showed up at work looking for you. He must have said something about your not being in work yesterday. He didn't seem too happy.

You made sure I knew you blamed me for all of this. Hell you made sure half the unit knew it by screaming at me in the hallway. You called m every name in the book. (But you didn't get the extra point, you didn't call me anything I haven't been called before.) When the boss confronted you on this you again tried to blame it on me. It seems I had created the entire scene and then then verbally attacked you in the hallway. For once the boss actually sided with me.

I'm sorry but I had to smile as I saw you escorted by security from the hospital. I know it's mean of me but I have to smile now. Sometimes justice does happen.

Cat
 
Dear friends who got me through the last week:

I love you all. I know I was an extreme pain in the ass, and I'm so sorry for making you worry about me. Truth is, I was sort of worried about me, too.

You are all so wonderful, and I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm extremely lucky to have every single one of you, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to pay you back for the compassion and the caring that you showed me.

I love you,

Cloudy
 
cloudy said:
Dear friends who got me through the last week:

I love you all. I know I was an extreme pain in the ass, and I'm so sorry for making you worry about me. Truth is, I was sort of worried about me, too.

You are all so wonderful, and I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm extremely lucky to have every single one of you, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to pay you back for the compassion and the caring that you showed me.

I love you,

Cloudy
:rose:
 
glynndah said:
That same woman sat in my section when I was waiting tables. It's been almost 30 years. You'd think she'd've learned by now. :rolleyes:

No, people like her never learn. They just exacerbate their own self-worth until they think they're right. And no one can ever convince them otherwise.

And another P.S.: I damn well earned that 18% gratuity, if only for putting up with your bullshit with a smile and a nod. Thanks for the $32 and change.

*huff*

Okay, rant over . . . .
 
slyc_willie said:
No, people like her never learn. They just exacerbate their own self-worth until they think they're right. And no one can ever convince them otherwise.

And another P.S.: I damn well earned that 18% gratuity, if only for putting up with your bullshit with a smile and a nod. Thanks for the $32 and change.

*huff*

Okay, rant over . . . .
Ah, we could exchange some stories, I'm sure. The fight between the man and his mistress, complete with tears, shouts and thrown drinks... Fine dining and entertainment, too. ;)
 
glynndah said:
Ah, we could exchange some stories, I'm sure. The fight between the man and his mistress, complete with tears, shouts and thrown drinks... Fine dining and entertainment, too. ;)

Lol, I could write a book just based on what I've seen in this biz . . . couples arguing, families fighting, engagements, tears, smiles and frowns . . . the occasional handjob under the table, the time the girl 'dropped something' under the table and her boyfriend went cross-eyed as she 'searched' for a good ten minutes . . . .

Hundred-thousand-dollar deals made or discarded, realizations realized . . . and dashed. Working in a restaurant is more dramatic than any soap opera.

There are times I hate it, but damn it, no matter how frustrated I get, I just have to take a look around . . . :)
 
Dear Whoever is in charge.
Ok Now I got through Jordans birthday with the help of a lot of friends, and lots of AH hugs :). Was it too much to ask to get through my daughters unscathed? Did u really have to leak vinegar all over her cake? Really, and if you must why not all over the cake not just one tiny spot? I mean it was mostly edible. I just couldn't very well take a puppy dog cake to the school with half it's head cut off now could I?
Anyway if your listening, please let me ice this damn cake to perfection tomorrow for try two. I promised little miss 4 a cake for daycare and I will be damned if she doesn't get one. I really really don't want to have to go through this again. the damn things take hours to make.:(
Thx in advance
Cinn :rose:
 
Big hugs to everyone and anyone who may need them.
The world can never have enough hugs. :rose:
 
Dear Adi,

Sweet, you do not need to send me an identical pm 4 times, 4 minutes apart. I got the point the first time ;) :p

(yes yes i know, a glitch on the sender input side, im sure :p)

~~~

Dear Caro,

Come home :(

~~~

Dear P,

We need some us time, and it is just pissing me off that its not happening. If i have to wait another week and a half so you can get me alone for 10 minutes im gonna scream :(

:heart:
 
Fallenfromgrace said:
Dear Caro,

Come home :(
Dear Grace,

Let the woman have some "me" time, sweets. ;)

Though I miss her badly too.

~~~

Dear M,

You have no idea how happy I was to hear your voice. I was literally speechless when I recognized it was you on the other end. And I think you noticed my stammering. :eek:

God, how I'd missed you!

Your forever best friend.

~~~

Dear L,

I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it.
 
Dear boss:

I hate you, I really honestly do. Oh I like my job just fine, I just really hate you.

Is it really so hard to not make sexual references in front of me every time you get in my general vicinity? Would it really be so wrong for you to call your close personal friends and give them your messages yourself? Is it such a bother to have to chew people out that you need me to do it for you? Or are you just that lazy?

Is it really that big of a deal to throw old food in the garbage without the risk of loosing our jobs? Are you that crazy, or do you think it's actually helping the environment like you say? It is really such a financial burden to give anyone a raise when those check books I balance, those financial statements I check and prepare, those stocks I compare and maintain could net you a tidy 2 million should you ever decide to cash them out?

I wish you'd either pony up some cash or let me do my job description instead of piling useless garbage on me all day and then get mad when the important work doesn't get done for the day.

Seriously, I think you and your pushy, money squadering wife should have to live like I have for a week. I'd really like to pay off my bills and buy some groceries, while you buy a 6th vehicle. Give me my damned raise and stop threatening with my job security when I ask for one.

As soon as my appilcation for a better job comes in, I'd really pay to see who you could train to do what I do for my paycheck.
 
Dear People (Men) Who Hold Their Kids By The Neck Like They're About To Throttle Them Just To Keep Them Still:

I wanna kick your fucking asses. They aren't your fucking PETS.

This goes out to the guy I saw walking down 2nd Ave. two days ago doing the same thing with his wife/girlfriend. Holding her by her neck as they walked down the street. What the fuck is that supposed to mean, huh?

Sincerely,

Me
 
Dear Kelly,

I like your girlfriend. She's very nice, and the long chat we had was informative for both of us. In fact, I liked her so much that I gave her my phone number, and she gave me hers.

So sorry you're going to be sitting in that house all by yourself now, but you should have known that you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

I hope everyone sees you for the lying, cheating, dumbass that you are, and that you feel like a fool, because I don't, and neither does she.

Have a nice life. Karma's a fucking bitch, eh?

~ Cloudy
 
Dear Creep,

I don't give a fuck who you are to him, but you so much as look at her and contemplate inpure thoughts let alone touch her again, and i will not only deck you, but i will break your hands too.

Don't fucking touch her again.

Her very very pissed off cuz-sis.

ps. I secretly hope that he is pissed off enough to punch your lights out. Oh, and if his brother finds out, you are a dead man.
 
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Dear Love of my Life

Thank you for your safety. And thank you for knowing how much I needed you today. Thank you for making me smile and thank you for loving me so completely. You make me feel whole.

S.
xxx

~ ~ ~​

Dear X

You will never be merely one more person on my list of people I've lost.

Me
xxx

~ ~ ~​

Dear X

I've still got you, and I'm not letting go.

Me
xxx

~ ~ ~​

Dear X

You're confusing me, because I'm not sure where I stand with you. I miss my friend.

Me
xxx

~ ~ ~​

Dear X

Uhm. Yeah. I don't really have anything to say. Maybe one day.

Me

~ ~ ~​
Dear C

You're incredible! And I love you so very, very much.

Me
xxx
 
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