writerperson
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Dionysus seeks hordes of adoring fans
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Tallulah82
Guest
LOL!!!
Wow. I love it!
Wow. I love it!
writerperson
Literotica Guru
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Tallulah82
Guest
Oh, I am truly sorry. I was not laughing at you. No, I was amused by something else entirely that just happened to pass my attention whilst reading your incredible advert. A thousand apologies for the misinterpretation of my typing.
(Is it wrong that the threat of being FLOGGED is actually erm - interesting?
)
shadow_anon2u
What to put here.....
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Where does the line begin for floggings?
writerperson
Literotica Guru
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Oh, I am truly sorry. I was not laughing at you. No, I was amused by something else entirely that just happened to pass my attention whilst reading your incredible advert. A thousand apologies for the misinterpretation of my typing.
(Is it wrong that the threat of being FLOGGED is actually erm - interesting?
How am I supposed to discipline you lot if you're all secretly begging to be flogged? Right, no floggings until you start behaving. Kinky fucks.
Ah, yes, the fourgy. I look forward to seeing you there, but you'll have to make up the time after hours OR bring extra bottles of gin as tribute.
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Tallulah82
Guest
Psst, Shadow... We need to change tactics and he may be not so easy to trick...
writerperson
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Floggings are being WITHHELD until you being me a suitable sacrifice, also flogging equipment.
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Tallulah82
Guest
What would a suitable sacrifice be?
Erm, you don't have your own flogging equipment? What kind of Dionysus is not prepared for all occasions? Sigh.
writerperson
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Look, I dunno what it says next to Dionysus in your job description but in mine it says 'drink lots of wine, driven women crazy and fuck people'. It doesn't say 'bring your own supplies'.
Suitable sacrifices - er - I haven't thought that far ahead, but pictures of tits are always a safe bet. Also cats. Preferably tits.
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LizzieEr
Guest
I'm just your typical godlike Adonis-figure with stunning good-looks...
My request is simple. All women please immediately report to the castle gates. Bring wine and you will be interviewed first. Everyone who interviews successfully will be issued twenty-five extra-large condoms, a selection from my line of designer lingerie and a high-resolution camera for sending me pictures of your writhing, naked bodies. Sex will be at nine-thirty, ten-forty-five, eleven-thirty, twelve-thirty, an orgy at two p.m., followed by a late lunch, then another orgy at four. Everything after six counts as leisure time and you will not receive extra lingerie for performing.
Apologies, but due to the volume of applicants I will not be able to have sex with every candidate.
Dionysus
Is there any particular variant of wine that shall secure me a spot on the "will be able to have sex with" list?
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Tallulah82
Guest
Look, originally I was only here for the wine. But the previous Dionysus's I have known were ready to satisfy their women in any way they needed it. The only supplies I carry with me are...well, that is for more private conversation
Sigh. You really aren't selling yourself well are you? You set this castle up, all your rules but not the basic info like a pre-prepared list of sacrifices?
Can I just clarify: do you want women's tits? men's tits? (see above "fuck people"), cat's tits?
writerperson
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Any white wine: immediate ejection from the premises
Cabernet Sauvignon: a quickie up against the chamber wall
Pino Grigio rosé: thirty minutes of semi-passionate boning
Merlot: I'll go down on you, then a quick fuck, spanking optional
Shiraz: night of unrelenting passion we'll be talking about for weeks
Absinthe: depraved and unforgettable sex, the details of which we must both take to our graves
Look, originally I was only here for the wine. But the previous Dionysus's I have known were ready to satisfy their women in any way they needed it. The only supplies I carry with me are...well, that is for more private conversation
Sigh. You really aren't selling yourself well are you? You set this castle up, all your rules but not the basic info like a pre-prepared list of sacrifices?
Can I just clarify: do you want women's tits? men's tits? (see above "fuck people"), cat's tits?
They were FALSE GODS. I am here for wine and depravity and to dismantle mortal social structures, not to please humans. That said, I may hire an intern to prepare lists and such.
I'd like to say all tits are equal in the eyes of Dionysus, but unfortunately men always seem to cock it up so women's will be preferred. Then again, tits are tits.
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LizzieEr
Guest
The Merlot and Absinthe options sound great. Spanking should always be on the cards. I would lean to Shiraz but the weeks of talking and discussing afterwards seem like a stiff price to pay, no matter how amazing the night.
Wait! No Chianti?????
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Tallulah82
Guest
You haven't listed Malbec. What do I get for Malbec? (I am ever so politely ignoring the fact that Dionysus is supposed to create the wine himself).
An intern is a good idea. Get him/her to do all the work while you lay back and take all the glory
I shall work on the tits. (oh, that sounds a bit wrong doesn't it?)
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Tallulah82
Guest
Lol! I agree. What's with these men who want to lay in bed and snuggle afterwards? Weeks of talking? I would prefer him to want to repeat that amazing night over and over until we couldn't walk OR talk straight
writerperson
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You haven't listed Malbec. What do I get for Malbec? (I am ever so politely ignoring the fact that Dionysus is supposed to create the wine himself).
An intern is a good idea. Get him/her to do all the work while you lay back and take all the glory
I shall work on the tits. (oh, that sounds a bit wrong doesn't it?)
Good titwork, let the intern know if you need a hand. Also, please find an intern for me.
Malbec gets you... I dunno, a sweaty fumble on the dancefloor.
Look, if you're not ready to attend my six-week post-sex orientation course then I have to doubt your commitment to the worship process.
Chianti gets you a blurry picture of my arse taken from half a mile away with a zoom lens.
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Tallulah82
Guest
Yes Sir! I shall get to it on the double! I must admit, I do do good titwork. I mean, I grew my own from scratch *proud of self*.
Would it be too much to ask that you showered before you showed me your LFMAO "Sexy and I know it" moves on the dancefloor?
Would it be too much to ask that you showered before you showed me your LFMAO "Sexy and I know it" moves on the dancefloor?
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LizzieEr
Guest
Lol! I agree. What's with these men who want to lay in bed and snuggle afterwards? Weeks of talking? I would prefer him to want to repeat that amazing night over and over until we couldn't walk OR talk straight
exactly.The post sex orientation is six weeks?
no sex during? what if I am a fast learner? May we cut down the orientation time to six hours?But but I may already have blurry pictures ( yes multiples) of your area taken from far away with zoom lenses.
writerperson
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The post sex orientation is six weeks?
But but I may already have blurry pictures ( yes multiples) of your area taken from far away with zoom lenses.
WHY would you need to take pictures from far away when I've got a thread
RIGHT
HERE
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LizzieEr
Guest
Oh I know. Dont you think i have been stalking you now between posts to your advert? But blurry surveillance style nudes and stalker-ish actions get my juices flowing like no other.
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Tallulah82
Guest
Oh, that was YOU? Every time I've been creeping around I could see someone just ahead of me ducking out of sight! I must admit I am more cat-burglar style. Pinch a pair of his pants and...well, y'know - "do stuff" *blushes*
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LizzieEr
Guest
Yeah I did see you a few times. I was wondering why he is usually pantless in his gifs (did he mention his pic thread to you? No? You are falling behind in his favour)... you really must not steal them all (how much are you willing to sell one for?)
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Tallulah82
Guest
I know *sobs*. He didn't point out his thread to me at all *wails*.
But *sniff*, I know it's just because for some reason he assigned me to find his intern. I was obviously too big-mouthed for him (and not even like THAT
). I have been demoted to the hired help *sniff*. He doesn't have sex with the hired help. He has standards.
*whispers* no, no, I wouldn't take all of them, he would start to notice. Well, he might- he IS naked a lot around here... I don't know what the going rate is for pants of the Gods?
