Old 03-11-2017, 04:14 PM   #1
mcruuz
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My First Erotica

[Please do not post story submissions to the forums. Submit them to the main site: https://members.literotica.com/ Thank you! - admin]
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Old 03-11-2017, 08:48 PM   #2
The_Ghost_Man
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I like the passion, and the rawness of it. There are a couple of points where I'd like to see it fleshed out a little. The feel of his cock entering you, your face when he slaps you, the feeling of your orgasm, and how it makes you feel bout him. And there are a couple of typos that a quick reread will get rid of

All in all, I'm a fan. I really want to see where you go with your next one.
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:11 AM   #3
TxRad
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Stories have to be 750 words and are not posted to the forums. They are posted to the story side of the site.
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:46 AM   #4
J_R_Ashunwhy
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There is a feedback forum:
http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=1
If/when your stories post, I suggest that you post the story link--not a wall of text--and a brief description of your story there to solicit feedback.
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