tonystokeswriter
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My second effort at erotica is posted. Patty Used, https://www.literotica.com/s/patty-used. Thanks for the positive response from several readers.
Second effort Patty Used
- Thread starter tonystokeswriter
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tonystokeswriter
Virgin
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2017
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Second erotic story, Patty
I welcome feedback.
I welcome feedback.
8letters
Writing
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- May 27, 2013
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First off - it would be good to say at least what category your story is in when you ask for feedback. "Patty Used" is in Group Sex. Now people who are interested in Group Sex will be more interested in providing feedback and those who aren't know to not bother clicking on the link.
Secondly, I'm looking to read a story. I don't care about your life history. Deleting everything before "Patty lived in Dade County" will in my eyes significantly improve your story.
I read the rest and found it okay. I'm not a Group Sex reader so can't say how appealing it is for those readers. It was a recollection and not a story, and I find stories more appealing. I don't think Linda's perspective added a whole lot as it was mainly a rehashing of what I had already read.
Secondly, I'm looking to read a story. I don't care about your life history. Deleting everything before "Patty lived in Dade County" will in my eyes significantly improve your story.
I read the rest and found it okay. I'm not a Group Sex reader so can't say how appealing it is for those readers. It was a recollection and not a story, and I find stories more appealing. I don't think Linda's perspective added a whole lot as it was mainly a rehashing of what I had already read.
Patty Used, a hat trick retrospective of a couple's meta cheating/swinger lifestyle told in three parts: first part, an explanation of their lifestyle from the author; second part, a retelling of their experience with another swinger couple from the male author's perspective; third part is a retelling of their experience from the author's female partner.
It's not romantic, the author is correct, as there is very little emotion that connects the characters, to each other, and much less to the reader.
Erotica, that's an element that's decided by how little it takes a reader to get aroused. If these are true recounts of actual events, then yes, it is erotica to you the writer, because you have further insights into each of the characters passions.
I'd have to agree with her. Your whole recollection is not erotic, it's didactic, almost text-book level. My assumption is that it's erotic to you because you're recollecting a true story or penning a complex fantasy, either way, all the erotic details are 100% in your head and not on the page. Elements like cheating and cum swapping are just elements that can be found in erotica, they don't define erotica.
Who is Angie? This is where the details, even important ones, only exist in your character's head.
It's not romantic, the author is correct, as there is very little emotion that connects the characters, to each other, and much less to the reader.
Erotica, that's an element that's decided by how little it takes a reader to get aroused. If these are true recounts of actual events, then yes, it is erotica to you the writer, because you have further insights into each of the characters passions.
I'd have to agree with her. Your whole recollection is not erotic, it's didactic, almost text-book level. My assumption is that it's erotic to you because you're recollecting a true story or penning a complex fantasy, either way, all the erotic details are 100% in your head and not on the page. Elements like cheating and cum swapping are just elements that can be found in erotica, they don't define erotica.
Who is Angie? This is where the details, even important ones, only exist in your character's head.
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