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As The Hospital Pervs

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Balladeer08 said:
Have you considered taking the "best" posts in terms of nurse procedure/medical knowledge and working them into a book? I think it would sell to both the nurse/medical audience and the more general audience.

Keep "As the Hospital Pervs" as the title, and alternate "perv" posts with knowledge posts. Maybe add some original material or references. Scholarly enough to be a text, pervy enough to be a bestseller. 8)

If it works, I'd like an autographed copy for making the suggestion. Maybe a photo?
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Hey, thank you! :heart: :heart: I would have to change the title; the politics of the nursing profession would never let me get away with it. Who knows?
 
Me: Can I help you?
Pt: I gotta use the head.
Me: Excuse me?
Pt: I gotta use the bathroom.
Me: ok here is the urinal.
Pt: I'm standing up.
Me: ok.
Pt: You may leave now.
Me: I can't leave you standing alone. I'm not looking.
Pt: I don't care if you look or not, but I gotta go to the bathroom.
Me: well go ahead.
Pt: Now I can't go.
Me: It will come out.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Hey, thank you! :heart: :heart: I would have to change the title; the politics of the nursing profession would never let me get away with it. Who knows?
Click to expand...

Talk to a publisher first, that title is pure SALES. And sales equals money... which brings lots of options.
 
It's that time of year again! Nurses vote for their favorite residents!
Who is going to win?

I bet the one with the best handwriting.
 
My Vote! Sweet writing!

Nursing: Please keep MAP 80-100
Kindly start patient on sliding scale: Regular insulin........
---
This is priceless! Please and kindly! The perfect doctor handwriting. I can't wait to see him in five years!

How long can he keep it up?

We are all so impressed.
 
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This is what his handwriting might look like after twenty years.

This old doctor still calls an IV catheter that we now flush with saline: A Heparin lock because they used to flush the peripheral lines with heparin.

I can't help it. It looks like Heparin Fuck to me.

The whole page reads as follows:

D/C IVs.
D/C IV Heparin
Type and Cross Match
Transfuse 1 unit of PRBCs
Coumadin 5mg PO tonight
Stool for occult blood
 
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This doctor needs help! It is one of the worse progress notes I have ever read! Luckily the patient was feeling better. ugh!

It reads:

Doing better.
Vital signs stable
Lungs clear
Abdomen soft
Change IV antibiotics
Change physical therapy
---
 
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I watched Natalie Portman fuck Ashton Kutcher at her character's hospital in the film 'No Strings Attached' earlier today.

Thought of you.


xoxo
 
I'm in medical field, but don't work for hospital.

I would buy your book and I think the title totally works.

;)

I love medical stories, especially perv ones. We need more in the story sextion, imo.
 
I'm so glad I don't have to work with Doctor's. I've taught a few of them in a ACLS class. I would kill someone or myself.
 
Morcheeba said:
I watched Natalie Portman fuck Ashton Kutcher at her character's hospital in the film 'No Strings Attached' earlier today.

Thought of you.


xoxo
Click to expand...
Alright, I will put that on my list of movies to watch now. Thank you. xxx

jordansgirl74 said:
I'm in medical field, but don't work for hospital.

I would buy your book and I think the title totally works.

;)

I love medical stories, especially perv ones. We need more in the story sextion, imo.
Click to expand...
Alright, I will get back to perving soon.
 
veryfaithfull said:
I'm so glad I don't have to work with Doctor's. I've taught a few of them in a ACLS class. I would kill someone or myself.
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Haha! That is funny. We had a mock code a while ago. I got into the room and there was a dummy on the bed. I said what is going on? The nurse educators were there, an attending and a resident.

The nurse educators said: Surprise! It is a mock code blue! I was busy on shift and irritated. So, I start to go threw the motions. We are pretending that I am first on scene and I find my patient unresponsive. There is no pulse. I want to yawn, I say: give me the back board. blah blah blah. I am team leader and everyone shows up for this act.

The defibrillator shows VFIB so we work it good and pass. Then it switches to Sinus Brady and the resident orders out for.... Synchronized Cardioversion...while he is flipping threw is 'protocol' cheat sheets with shaky hands. The nurse on the lifePAK gets ready to obey him.

I say excuse me...Don't you mean you want us to start pacing now? Pacer mode? Start at 60? We got symptomatic Bradycardia? Do we have a blood pressure?

It's alright, he will get it. We all learn.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Alright, I will put that on my list of movies to watch now. Thank you. xxx
Click to expand...

You're welcome but I'm warning you, it starts out painfully slow. Good news is that the pace picks up along the way - as does the fucking in her hospital during her insane shifts.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Haha! That is funny. We had a mock code a while ago. I got into the room and there was a dummy on the bed. I said what is going on? The nurse educators were there, an attending and a resident.

The nurse educators said: Surprise! It is a mock code blue! I was busy on shift and irritated. So, I start to go threw the motions. We are pretending that I am first on scene and I find my patient unresponsive. There is no pulse. I want to yawn, I say: give me the back board. blah blah blah. I am team leader and everyone shows up for this act.

The defibrillator shows VFIB so we work it good and pass. Then it switches to Sinus Brady and the resident orders out for.... Synchronized Cardioversion...while he is flipping threw is 'protocol' cheat sheets with shaky hands. The nurse on the lifePAK gets ready to obey him.

I say excuse me...Don't you mean you want us to start pacing now? Pacer mode? Start at 60? We got symptomatic Bradycardia? Do we have a blood pressure?

It's alright, he will get it. We all learn.
Click to expand...

Over the years I lost the Iconic image that I have had of Doctors as being super smart and always knowing what to do. Sometimes when pts refuse to let me assess them ,because they want to talk to the doc because he knows what he is doing, it's all I can do to keep from telling them how it is.
That same ACLS class I failed a resident for shocking Aysistole not just once but three times. He was a cardioligy resident and when he arrived to the class he told me that he should not have to be there. The class cordnater passed him anyway. She did not want to make waves. Beside there would be a medic or a nurse nearby that knew what to do.
 
Morcheeba said:
You're welcome but I'm warning you, it starts out painfully slow. Good news is that the pace picks up along the way - as does the fucking in her hospital during her insane shifts.
Click to expand...
Insane shifts! Hospital fucking! That is great. I am waiting for the movie to come in the mail.
 
veryfaithfull said:
Over the years I lost the Iconic image that I have had of Doctors as being super smart and always knowing what to do. Sometimes when pts refuse to let me assess them ,because they want to talk to the doc because he knows what he is doing, it's all I can do to keep from telling them how it is.
That same ACLS class I failed a resident for shocking Aysistole not just once but three times. He was a cardioligy resident and when he arrived to the class he told me that he should not have to be there. The class cordnater passed him anyway. She did not want to make waves. Beside there would be a medic or a nurse nearby that knew what to do.
Click to expand...
I am not jaded. There are some wonderful doctors out there. We can't do it alone. The residents have to learn and they will learn. We all learn and it is a team effort. :heart:

Look at it this way: shocking a flat line isn't going to hurt. It just won't help either. My guess is he won't forget now. Not sure how he got to cardiology residency without knowing that though.

Yeah you can't ever tell a patient bad things about a doctor. It is not therapeutic for the patient. We have to manage them up: You are in very good hands etc. Being sick and in the hospital is scary enough for them.


Also look at it this way: Regular doctors are not running the ACLS bedside. It is the intensivists, ICU nurse, Respiratory, House Officer etc... If it is in the ER- the ER docs know what to do. If it is pre-hospital...the medics.

In fact I couldn't imagine a code pre-hospital. In house we have a whole team: 2 on the chest switching, med nurse, respiratory bagging/intubating (or anesthesia intubating), recording nurse, nurse drawing labs, secretary printing morning labs, primary nurse giving history, nurse calling or consoling family, nurse on the lifePAK ready to shock/charging, and a doctor calling out for stuff, and a room full of residents.

My favorite role is recorder secretary. I get to absorb the whole scene and lend another pair of eyes. My least favorite role is on the chest of course. Luckily our techs can do it for us.
 
Straying from the original concept, is only acceptable for short periods of time, that is, unless you've found niche'.
 
On break~

Me: what do you do here?
CW: carpenter. why?
Me: ok. i want to date an IW.
CW: why?
Me: i don't know. i think they are brave cause they climb so high.
CW: carpenters climb high too.
Me: really? nice to meet you, is my butt all dirty from sitting out here?
CW: no, not at all dirty.
Me: ok. good. bye-bye i have to go back now.
CW: what unit?
Me: neuro.
CW: i built that place. do you like it?
Me: it looks great.
 
I'm sitting here in MRI.
They got some crazy porn music going on down here.
How do they listen to this all day?
Are they getting it on in between scans?
 
It's the little things I love about my job...like jacking off the ice machine.
It takes forever. I'm like: come on baby gimme that ice.
 
My favorite phone calls are to pharmacy.
I want to know if we can run though the same line, into the same vein and not become crystals. If we can, we should fuck.
 
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