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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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myinnerslut said:
i love him more then i hate the distance
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That is really the key, isn't it? That is how it keeps working despite the pain.

I just had a rather grand freak out cry session over the pain of the distance. Never once did ending it cross my mind. I love him, period. I hate the distance but it cannot compete with the love.
 
Online Domme/sub relationships require certain elements, absolutely: A great imagination, excellent language skills, a clear understanding of expectations. As the dominante one it is my job to make his desire to please heighten with each contact. I must understand exactly what he needs in his life...my sweet one has desired the kind of relationship I provide: he is married and we will never be together, therefore, it is incumbant that this be highly erotic, sensual, imaginative, and ritual-filled, for the ritual gives him something to hang his powerful need for my "motherly" persona to fill his mind and heart. He has NEEDED this type of relationship all his life; he would like it full time, but that is not possible, so we have what we create...his devotion to me, my rules, my given rituals is total, and so for me, satisfying. It is probably different than many, but it works for me, therefore, for him.
 
I'm not adjusting well at all to our "normal" ways. *sigh*

Being back to chatting for just a few minutes a day or some days not at all really sucks. :( And looks like I won't get back over until May.

But, since I get 5 weeks this year, I'm hoping that I can take two of them at a time so I'll get to spend 2 weeks in May, and then 2 weeks in October, and I'll just spend my birthday week cleaning house. I have to take one week in 1st quarter, but that's just a really rough time for him to try to save up.

It won't be so bad tho.

*sigh* :(
 
the captians wench said:
I'm not adjusting well at all to our "normal" ways. *sigh*

Being back to chatting for just a few minutes a day or some days not at all really sucks. :( And looks like I won't get back over until May.

But, since I get 5 weeks this year, I'm hoping that I can take two of them at a time so I'll get to spend 2 weeks in May, and then 2 weeks in October, and I'll just spend my birthday week cleaning house. I have to take one week in 1st quarter, but that's just a really rough time for him to try to save up.

It won't be so bad tho.

*sigh* :(
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Are you still looking into perhaps moving over there? Any chance that he can come over here for a visit?

I feel for you, 4 weeks in a year is just not enough.
 
ecstaticsub said:
Are you still looking into perhaps moving over there? Any chance that he can come over here for a visit?

I feel for you, 4 weeks in a year is just not enough.
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From the research I have done, getting permission to live there would be difficult but not impossible, but getting permission to work is another story. They are extreamly strict on non-euros. It's pretty much going to take a wedding to be able to both live and work there, which is another long process, and one I don't think we're quite ready for.

He doesn't travel well at all. Even on the trains while we were over there, a 30 min ride would leave him all cramped up, and planes are even worse. On the other hand I loved flying and had very little trouble with it, other than getting lost in the airport in london, so it's just more practical for me to go there.

and it's not enough, but I should be greatful, 3 years ago a 9 day trip seemed impossible, but we got that this year, so to be looking at possibly having 2 2 week trips, well, it's more than I could have ever hoped for before.
 
the captians wench said:
From the research I have done, getting permission to live there would be difficult but not impossible, but getting permission to work is another story. They are extreamly strict on non-euros. It's pretty much going to take a wedding to be able to both live and work there, which is another long process, and one I don't think we're quite ready for.

He doesn't travel well at all. Even on the trains while we were over there, a 30 min ride would leave him all cramped up, and planes are even worse. On the other hand I loved flying and had very little trouble with it, other than getting lost in the airport in london, so it's just more practical for me to go there.

and it's not enough, but I should be greatful, 3 years ago a 9 day trip seemed impossible, but we got that this year, so to be looking at possibly having 2 2 week trips, well, it's more than I could have ever hoped for before.
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I do all the travelling in my relationship, too. Just more practical and works better for our schedules.

I knew you had done plenty of research on the possiblity of moving over there. I was just wondering how it was coming along. Sorry things aren't easier than they are.

I've never spent more than 48 hrs in a row with my PYL so your 2 weeks sounds wonderful.

:rose:
 
just another drive by hello to let everyone know i'm still alive and kicking. things are a little crazy around here for me these days and coming on this site really reminds me of things i let go of. but i miss all of my lit friends so i decided to stop back by and say a quick hello. i hope everyone is doing well. i'm ok, just working alot and trying to make ends meet. i'll stop back by another time when i have more time to post...
 
ecstaticsub said:
I do all the travelling in my relationship, too. Just more practical and works better for our schedules.

I knew you had done plenty of research on the possiblity of moving over there. I was just wondering how it was coming along. Sorry things aren't easier than they are.

I've never spent more than 48 hrs in a row with my PYL so your 2 weeks sounds wonderful.

:rose:
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It is nice to get the time all bunched together, as apose to maybe a day or two every few weeks or so.

I knew moving there would not be an easy process, tho I have heard of at least 2 couples who met on lit and one party moved from here to England. I'm not sure how the process compairs...might be something to look into, that would be a hell of a lot closer than I am now.
 
I have not seen that many Dom post here. I have in past, but now I have two very important reasons.
Can I Dom/Master post without getting blacklisted?
 
the captians wench said:
Sure you can. We like to see the Dom perspective here. :)
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Thank you. I will try my best, but I can only speak for myself.

I am a Dom to one femsub and Master to another both in LDR. We will see how things go. I have not met either of them, maybe one day.
We usually keep in touch my emails and chat. I am sure I did not cover it all, but that is a start.
 
I'm a switch, and got a sub of my own. And right now I just really wished I didn't live half a globe away :(

But thus is the nature of the online play
 
That's the thing about the internet. I neven intended, or looked to fall inlove with some one 3,500+ miles away from me, but when you make a connection well love just isn't aware of the distance.

It's hard, and it's often lonely, and I think being able to spend a little time together in the flesh makes the distance even harder when you can't. And I know it's hard on him too. I saw the tears building in his eyes when I was kissing him goodbye before my flight. And he sends me just as many "I miss you" messages as I send him.

Some people think these things show weakness, and I used to be one of them. What I realized is that what we have is something much more important to me than D/s. We love each other, and him expressing that love to me is way more endearing to me than if he kept the tough guy image. I want to know I'm missed, I want to know I"m loved, and I want to know I'm valued. And just because he expresses those things doesn't make him any less my owner, or me any less his sub. If that's what he wants.
 
the captians wench said:
That's the thing about the internet. I neven intended, or looked to fall inlove with some one 3,500+ miles away from me, but when you make a connection well love just isn't aware of the distance.

It's hard, and it's often lonely, and I think being able to spend a little time together in the flesh makes the distance even harder when you can't. And I know it's hard on him too. I saw the tears building in his eyes when I was kissing him goodbye before my flight. And he sends me just as many "I miss you" messages as I send him.

Some people think these things show weakness, and I used to be one of them. What I realized is that what we have is something much more important to me than D/s. We love each other, and him expressing that love to me is way more endearing to me than if he kept the tough guy image. I want to know I'm missed, I want to know I"m loved, and I want to know I'm valued. And just because he expresses those things doesn't make him any less my owner, or me any less his sub. If that's what he wants.
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Sounds like a lovely relationship you two got going, really makes me hope you guys find out a way to be together more in the future =)
 
Sqoodd said:
I have not seen that many Dom post here. I have in past, but now I have two very important reasons.
Can I Dom/Master post without getting blacklisted?
Click to expand...

`Yes. Emphatically so.

I think it would be the perpetuation of ignorance not to have Dominant insight as well.
How supportive would it truly be if only one half of the equasion were represented?

.................

It's been enough time.
One would say I fell victim to the age-old perception of self that Dominants should exude a sense of control and distance in all matters both in person as well as here in something as minor as a web site.
Tradition/new age. Old guard, new....I really couldn't care less.

My feelings are real and so I will share them in hopes that perhaps it might help another.

I lost my submissive less then a month ago.
I heard it in her voice when I called her back.
Things were about to change in a way I wasn't going to like.
Her life needed restructuring and as much as she enjoyed us, I couldn't be included in that capacity if her goals to restructure were to be successful.
I could tell it wasn't a decision she came to easily. And I know just by knowing her it's something that tears at her heart and will daily for a while until she adjusts.

I love her. In her submission she has allowed for parts of myself to grow exponentially.
The memories we shared, the moments so rare and cherished will be a part of my life for many years to come.

Am I bitter? I was, I'll admit. But that hurt was quelled by my overwhelming love for her.

"Tomorrow's never promised. So live for today" became somewhat of a mantra when I'd reflect on our relationship before it's end. And now that it's concluded, those words are simply reinforced as a result.

Babydoll......thank you for you. A gift that lasted longer then I could have ever hoped....but less then I would have ever wanted.
That place is yours. You know of what I refer to. I know you will read this under your new reincarnation.

Know I never have nor will I ever carry ill will.
I understand everything. "When don't you make sense?"

~ I love you. :rose:
 
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twysted73 said:
`Yes. Emphatically so.

I think it would be the perpetuation of ignorance not to have Dominant insight as well.
How supportive would it truly be if only one half of the equasion were represented?

.................

It's been enough time.
One would say I fell victim to the age-old perception of self that Dominants should exude a sense of control and distance in all matters both in person as well as here in something as minor as a web site.
Tradition/new age. Old guard, new....I really couldn't care less.

My feelings are real and so I will share them in hopes that perhaps it might help another.

I lost my submissive less then a month ago.
I heard it in her voice when I called her back.
Things were about to change in a way I wasn't going to like.
Her life needed restructuring and as much as she enjoyed us, I couldn't be included in that capacity if her goals to restructure were to be successful.
I could tell it wasn't a decision she came to easily. And I know just by knowing her it's something that tears at her heart and will daily for a while until she adjusts.

I love her. In her submission she has allowed for parts of myself to grow exponentially.
The memories we shared, the moments so rare and cherished will be a part of my life for many years to come.

Am I bitter? I was, I'll admit. But that hurt was quelled by my overwhelming love for her.

"Tomorrow's never promised. So live for today" became somewhat of a mantra when I'd reflect on our relationship before it's end. And now that it's concluded, those words are simply reinforced as a result.

Babydoll......thank you for you. A gift that lasted longer then I could have ever hoped....but less then I would have ever wanted.
That place is yours. You know of what I refer to. I know you will read this under your new reincarnation.

Know I never have nor will I ever carry ill will.
I understand everything. "When don't you make sense?"

~ I love you. :rose:
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I feel so much with you... I can't begin to imagine those emotions, it just has to be gutwrenching. I hope you'll find some peace of heart in it all.
 
twysted73 said:
`Yes. Emphatically so.

I think it would be the perpetuation of ignorance not to have Dominant insight as well.
How supportive would it truly be if only one half of the equasion were represented?


I lost my submissive less then a month ago.
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Thank you, twysted73.
I was reading the post and got the sense I was a support thread for subs and even though I posted here previously, I was unsure.

I can empathize with you fully. I lost one of my subs after three weeks when she back peddled and changed her mind. I learned some things with her that I will use and help my current subs grow into better people, as well as subs. I am thankful for the time we spent together.

Thank you for sharing.
 
*sigh* his net is still down. :( And I've missed him all week, with his net down his phone is never where he his. *sigh* :(

But I did get a text from him while I was at work, he must have been getting ready for bed. He said he missed me a lot and he loves his fat ass cunt. :heart:

Made me smile anyway.
 
Daddy2mylilgirl said:
Thanks. :)
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We celebrated Collaring Day last night. It made for a good final night to her visit. Hard to believe that is has been seven months since I first put the collar around her neck.

viv's collaring anniversary is the same day (it just worked out that way), and it has been eleven months since she and I went M/s. The 25th is a thoughtful day around here, and a celebrated one whenever we are together.

(Yes, she became my slave on Christmas. It happened about 3am after a long night of putting presents together for the kids, and doing the collaring was my Christmas celebration with her.)
 
Homburg said:
We celebrated Collaring Day last night. It made for a good final night to her visit. Hard to believe that is has been seven months since I first put the collar around her neck.

viv's collaring anniversary is the same day (it just worked out that way), and it has been eleven months since she and I went M/s. The 25th is a thoughtful day around here, and a celebrated one whenever we are together.

(Yes, she became my slave on Christmas. It happened about 3am after a long night of putting presents together for the kids, and doing the collaring was my Christmas celebration with her.)
Click to expand...

Double congrats to you! :)
 
Still no word on when his net will be back up. :( It's been almost three weeks, and other than the email he sent me from work, and the one night of texting I haven't had any contact with him. It's like either I can't time the phone calls right, or I'm working. :( Just really sucks.
 
the captians wench said:
Still no word on when his net will be back up. :( It's been almost three weeks, and other than the email he sent me from work, and the one night of texting I haven't had any contact with him. It's like either I can't time the phone calls right, or I'm working. :( Just really sucks.
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*hugs*
We just finally got our communication issues worked out so we have something reliable and frequent. After I do not even know how many weeks of trail and error trying to get the kinks worked out!

On a personal side note:

Thanksgiving apart just sucks.
 
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