Article on cuckold fantasies

Having been involved in the swinger community for some time, I can tell you what the predominant opinion is in our circles.

A swinger (male) is a guy who thinks his wife is totally hot and wants to share her. He does not view himself as anything less than equal in all aspects.

A cuckold is a guy who believes he is sexually inferior to the other males having sex with his wife, and he wants her to have sex outside the marriage. He understands that people have differing abilities, and a marriage license does not change those abilities. No guy is a cuckold against his will, and if he doesn't know, he can't have ownership.

A lot of guys measure their masculinity by their perceived sexual performance. They think that is what makes them a "man," and it appears that most of them (from my experience on this site) are tremendously intimidated by the whole cuckold thing. Ironically, I've never met a cuckold that saw himself as merely a product of his sex life, and I've never met a cuckold who felt the need to lash out at others because of what they do in their bedroom. And I've met more than a few admitted cuckolds.

Is accepting that you may not be the best in bed less manly? Or is it more manly? Is a guy a "man" because he has chained his wife to his insecurities, or is a guy a "man" because he cares about her pleasure and he knows that their relationship is far deeper than their sex life?
 
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I don't think this matches the traditional definition of a cuckold at all. First, it's a definition of fact--a man whose wife is unfaithful (that's the Webster's definition verbatim. I can't find a dictionary that expands on this) and it doesn't get into the reasoning for the sexual arrangement at all. It's simply a fact of circumstance. Beyond that, the traditional definition is that he either doesn't know about it or is pretending not to know about it (usually to save face, because the traditional setup is that he's thereby the butt of derision). I think if you want to go beyond that with your story setups (which is fine), you really shouldn't dilute the traditional understandings. You should go to another defining word. To me, a man who encourages it in any way and continues to have sex with his wife is a swinger or swapper or voyeur or fetishist or something else--not the long-defined cuckold.

I am particularly dismissive of any efforts to connect it with the man wanting his wife to be happy. That sounds like the wife's rationalizing perspective of what's going on.
 
I don't think this matches the traditional definition of a cuckold at all. First, it's a definition of fact--a man whose wife is unfaithful (that's the Webster's definition verbatim. I can't find a dictionary that expands on this) and it doesn't get into the reasoning for the sexual arrangement at all. It's simply a fact of circumstance. Beyond that, the traditional definition is that he either doesn't know about it or is pretending not to know about it (usually to save face, because the traditional setup is that he's thereby the butt of derision). I think if you want to go beyond that with your story setups (which is fine), you really shouldn't dilute the traditional understandings. You should go to another defining word. To me, a man who encourages it in any way and continues to have sex with his wife is a swinger or swapper or voyeur or fetishist or something else--not the long-defined cuckold.

I am particularly dismissive of any efforts to connect it with the man wanting his wife to be happy. That sounds like the wife's rationalizing perspective of what's going on.

I'm just telling you how it is viewed among actual cuckold marriages here in the Southeast. To be honest, I don't view Webster's as an authority on sexual practices.

And I can assure you, a cuckold's primary objective is for his wife to be happy. Nothing is more fundamental to the practice than this. That's the entire point!
 
I'm just telling you how it is viewed among actual cuckold marriages here in the Southeast. To be honest, I don't view Webster's as an authority on sexual practices.

And I can assure you, a cuckold's primary objective is for his wife to be happy. Nothing is more fundamental to the practice than this. That's the entire point!

My point is that I don't think you have true cuckold marriages in the group you describe. That you should not steal that limited-definition word for it. "Cuckold" is an expression of derision. A true cuckold wouldn't be pleased for anyone in this arrangement.
 
Having been involved in the swinger community for some time, I can tell you what the predominant opinion is in our circles.

A swinger (male) is a guy who thinks his wife is totally hot and wants to share her. He does not view himself as anything less than equal in all aspects.

A cuckold is a guy who believes he is sexually inferior to the other males having sex with his wife, and he wants her to have sex outside the marriage. He understands that people have differing abilities, and a marriage license does not change those abilities. No guy is a cuckold against his will, and if he doesn't know, he can't have ownership.

A lot of guys measure their masculinity by their perceived sexual performance. They think that is what makes them a "man," and it appears that most of them (from my experience on this site) are tremendously intimidated by the whole cuckold thing. Ironically, I've never met a cuckold that saw himself as merely a product of his sex life, and I've never met a cuckold who felt the need to lash out at others because of what they do in their bedroom. And I've met more than a few admitted cuckolds.

Is accepting that you may not be the best in bed less manly? Or is it more manly? Is a guy a "man" because he has chained his wife to his insecurities, or is a guy a "man" because he cares about her pleasure and he knows that their relationship is far deeper than their sex life?

I usta know a couple in which the husband considered his wife chattel; that is, when had to travel for long periods of time (a year) he'd stop by my job and ask that I take care of Sherry while he was gone...like she was a horse that needed feeding and watering. Then some weeks later she'd call me and say something like, I'M SO HORNY I'M CLIMBING THE WALLS. And one thing led to another. Now! She worked with my girl friend, so we hadda keep it under the radar, but the tone of it was doing a favor for a pal.
 
After my wifes brother died there were times when I wondered if my wife and her kin weren't nudging me to help the widow out occasionally. Cuz the woman got a huge sum of money, and there was concern that she would piss it away on lovers.
 
I'm just telling you how it is viewed among actual cuckold marriages here in the Southeast. To be honest, I don't view Webster's as an authority on sexual practices.
It's a lexicographical reference on what words mean.

And I can assure you, a cuckold's primary objective is for his wife to be happy. Nothing is more fundamental to the practice than this. That's the entire point!
So say certain practitioners of wife-sharing and wife-watching (voyeurism) paraphilias. Whatever a particular group's expressed intent, it doesn't change what the origin and commonly understood meaning of a word is. The current accepted definition simply specifies the act of unfaithfulness or adultery. That said, usage of a word can change over time, but the accepted definition of "cuckold" has not. At least not yet.

Merriam-Webster
cuckold
: a man whose wife is unfaithful

Oxford
cuckold
: the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision.

Macmillan
cuckold
: an insulting word for a man whose wife has sex with another man

Cambridge
cuckold
: a man whose wife deceives him by having a sexual relationship with another man

Collins
cuckold
1. a man whose wife has committed adultery, often regarded as an object of scorn
 
Personally I like the Sperm Competition explanation because it makes perfectly evolutionary sense.




And besides, the term "competition" sounds suitably manly... like monster-truck racing, except with sperm instead of monster-trucks...

:)
 
That said, usage of a word can change over time, but the accepted definition of "cuckold" has not. At least not yet.

Okay. I'm just telling you how it is viewed among actual cuckold marriages here in the Southeast. And it ain't real common for any of us down here to use lexicographical references to research sexual practices.

Oh yeah, and as best I can tell, they must not use those kinds of references in Vegas either.
 
Okay. I'm just telling you how it is viewed among actual cuckold marriages here in the Southeast. And it ain't real common for any of us down here to use lexicographical references to research sexual practices.

Oh yeah, and as best I can tell, they must not use those kinds of references in Vegas either.
You can call a particular practice by any term you choose, but don't expect everyone else to adopt your definition. We use dictionaries to have a common frame of reference. Words must mean something or they mean nothing.
 
An interesting discussion, for something perhaps I shouldn't be interested in. Aside from a man being a cuckold unknowingly, wouldn't it be more correct to say not all men who are knowingly cuckolded fit in the same category. The same with those who happen to be want-a-be.

I don't see why a man can't get sexual satisfaction from his wife getting sexual fulfillment from someone other than himself. Many men wouldn't object if the someone else happened to be a woman, especially if he was allowed to watch.

I'm not sure I care what the man's reason is, I'd be much more interested in the emotional aspects of both the wife and the husband. I do agree with PennLady it is possible to love, as in falling in love, two people. It might be interesting to write a cuckold story where the wife does fall in love with someone else. So many thing to explore, her's, her husband's and her boyfriend's emotions. Just the amount of jealousy that could develop between the men could be deadly.
 
Okay. I'm just telling you how it is viewed among actual cuckold marriages here in the Southeast.

You continue to miss that point that even though you call those marriages cuckold, they aren't "actual cuckold marriages." You don't really have a vote on these definitions.

The ones ProxyAccount has pulled out of British usage authorities look spot on for what a real cuckold, by definition, is. It's a term of derision.
 
My point is that I don't think you have true cuckold marriages in the group you describe. That you should not steal that limited-definition word for it. "Cuckold" is an expression of derision. A true cuckold wouldn't be pleased for anyone in this arrangement.

Once again Pilot argues against someone who has lived the actual lifestyle saying that the dictionary disagrees with them.

It doesn't matter what dictionaries and and manuals and books say. What matters is how it really is in real life.

This person has been there done that and bought the t-shirt. I will believe them.

As far as your precious Websters goes, what was the original definition of the word Gay?

When homosexuals started referring to themselves as gay did you tell them they couldn't be because that is not what the dictionary said at the time?:rolleyes:
 
It's a lexicographical reference on what words mean.


So say certain practitioners of wife-sharing and wife-watching (voyeurism) paraphilias. Whatever a particular group's expressed intent, it doesn't change what the origin and commonly understood meaning of a word is. The current accepted definition simply specifies the act of unfaithfulness or adultery. That said, usage of a word can change over time, but the accepted definition of "cuckold" has not. At least not yet.

Merriam-Webster
cuckold
: a man whose wife is unfaithful

Oxford
cuckold
: the husband of an adulteress, often regarded as an object of derision.

Macmillan
cuckold
: an insulting word for a man whose wife has sex with another man

Cambridge
cuckold
: a man whose wife deceives him by having a sexual relationship with another man

Collins
cuckold
1. a man whose wife has committed adultery, often regarded as an object of scorn

That said definitions do change and dictionaries are always behind when a word takes on a new or added meaning.

Even physiologist speak and write of the cuckold fetish.

Edit to add: this fight is bullshit we all know about men who desire to be cuckold, it's been a part of porn for like ever and it's called just that cuckold porn. In the case of cuckold it's used both way, a man's a cuckold if his wife cheats or not, his wife having sex with another man makes him a cuckold. By the way the original meaning meant not only her committing adultery but her husband raising a child who he didn't happen to donate sperm for.

By the way it's been estimated that about 25% of married males in the U.S. are unknowingly raising children not their own.
 
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The big problem with "cuckolding lit style"

is LW has made it an entirely negative thing. basing most of it on humiliation and being degraded and it being in some cases almost non consensual as in you'll watch it or else.

In r/l cucks-at least the ones I was involved with back in the day are simply guys who enjoy watching their women with another man and in some instances yes some verbal humiliation adds to their thrill, much in the way a submissive enjoys their dom doing it to them.

I was once part of an ongoing relationship with an older couple (I was early 20's at the time) I met them at a party she was all over me we go back to their place and she explains we're going to fuck in front of hubby, I was pretty bombed and was up for anything and he was sitting there giving me the green light.

After that night I got together with them many times and we would start off chilling out having a few drinks(they would light up a bong) joke, make small talk, get comfortable then I would fuck her and she and I at her encouragement would make some remarks like "How's a real cock look in your wife's mouth"

Now afterwards we would shower dress and hang out some more.

The main point to this is in the before and after they were a very affectionate couple and he doted on her and she returned his affection. There was nothing like how many LW stories have twisted what a cuck really is.

And I think because we are on lit many people are becoming skewed towards that LW belief. If you've never experienced it and all you know is these stories I can't blame them for thinking it.

But remember if you go by everything here on lit all family members want to fuck and all women want to cum multiple times while being raped.

What is written about here , just because it is erotica, does not mean it is always accurate.
 
Even physiologist speak and write of the cuckold fetish.

citations? Dictionaries are updated about four times a year (each time they print)--they just don't hup to to every little fad wafting through.

Might add that this is a writing site, where one would think a bit of respect would be given to writing authorities.
 
Yep, that's your typical citation when you are challenged to back up a statement with one. :D
 
Yep, that's your typical citation when you are challenged to back up a statement with one. :D

It wouldn't make a bit of difference, but I'll excuse you I realize all those g-forces do destroy brain cells.

Did I tell you I was once in love with an Air Force Pilot, she was so butch, at least as butch as she could be with don't ask don't tell. Not saying guy pilot aren't hot, love that swagger, just not very interesting to me, at least not interesting in the right way.
 
citations? Dictionaries are updated about four times a year (each time they print)--they just don't hup to to every little fad wafting through.

Might add that this is a writing site, where one would think a bit of respect would be given to writing authorities.

You're proving what many here know.

You go by what you read not what people do.

And yes this is a writing site. The article is discussing R/L cucking and as I just posted R/L cucks are far from what LW has turned them into.

Websters does not have a definition for Snowballing but its all over porn movies, erotic stories and most importantly people do it in real life.

But I guess it doesn't exist, right?
 
That said definitions do change and dictionaries are always behind when a word takes on a new or added meaning.

Even physiologist speak and write of the cuckold fetish.

Edit to add: this fight is bullshit we all know about men who desire to be cuckold, it's been a part of porn for like ever and it's called just that cuckold porn. In the case of cuckold it's used both way, a man's a cuckold if his wife cheats or not, his wife having sex with another man makes him a cuckold. By the way the original meaning meant not only her committing adultery but her husband raising a child who he didn't happen to donate sperm for.

By the way it's been estimated that about 25% of married males in the U.S. are unknowingly raising children not their own.
Estimates vary per sample demographic and selection criteria. Where paternity was in question, the paternal discrepancy was about 24.87% in 2010 (AABB). Note that this does not necessarily mean that 24.87 percent of men were wrongly named as fathers. Amongst the general population, the paternal discrepancy was about 3.7%. From a paper (Bellis 2005) published in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health:

Paternal discrepancy (PD) occurs when a child is identified as being biologically fathered by someone other than the man who believes he is the father. This paper examines published evidence on levels of PD and its public health consequences. Rates vary between studies from 0.8% to 30% (median 3.7%, n = 17).

[...]

For disputed paternity tests median levels of PD across 16 studies is 26.9% (interquartile range (IQR)=16.7%–33.4%). However, being based on cases where PD was already suspected this inevitably overestimates population levels (table 1). For studies based on populations chosen for reasons other than disputed paternity (table 1) median PD is 3.7% (IQR=2.0%–9.6%).
 
You're proving what many here know.

You go by what you read not what people do.

And yes this is a writing site. The article is discussing R/L cucking and as I just posted R/L cucks are far from what LW has turned them into.

Websters does not have a definition for Snowballing but its all over porn movies, erotic stories and most importantly people do it in real life.

But I guess it doesn't exist, right?
It means that the sexual usage of "snowballing" is considered slang and not generally accepted as a formal definition. Slang terms come and go. If it persists, it will eventually end up as one possible definition. In the case of "snowballing", there isn't an existing formal definition that "snowballing" conflicts with. By contrast, there is already a definition of "cuckold" used as a sexual term that wife-watching and wife-sharing fetishists' usage of "cuckold" conflicts with.
 
Exactly. Find a new word rather than perverting an existing one.
 
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