"Girls With Guns" (Closed to Southern Slut)

Mona was up and running while I was still slumped against the wall. Shutting off the water and allowing the cold tiles of the wall to cool my head was so soothing. It also helped to block out the sounds of rushing, screaming, calling out and the various sounds I never knew came with saving lives. I fixated on those words she'd spoken in our brief moment between euphoria and duty.

"I'm sorry. I'm ... I'm just ... happy."

I just held onto that, letting those soothing words block out the horrors we'd momentarily escaped. After a few minutes I could no longer avoid getting up, mostly because I was shivering against the tiles.

Getting up and dried off was more difficult than I'd expected but it wasn't impossible and I dressed myself fairly well. The clothes felt like they'd come from an old military movie. Olive drab coat with a plain shirt and cargo pants with old sneakers. I did my best to ignore the patches and stitching inside the coat, not wanting to believe it was someone else' in their last minutes.

I stepped out and was slightly dizzy as I realized the lights inside of the infirmary were on at a full blast opposed to dimmed earlier and I began seeing spots. Wanting to believe I could help I began to walk over when a woman guided me to a cot and asked I sit down and not get in the way.

Anna, the Girls, and I had the injured dealt with in short order. The Girl who'd been shot had lost a lot of blood, but the bullet hadn't hit any vital organs. Presuming she didn't die of infection, she'd be up and around in no time, seeking revenge against those who attacked her patrol. The other woman is turned out had been caught by the flames of an incendiary bomb that she set off stepping on a trip wire. One side of her face and much of her hair had been burned, and while she would bear scars for the rest of her life, I knew -- again barring infection -- that she would go on to live and fight again and soon.

There had been so much activity in the infirmary that I'd almost forgotten about Claire until I turned around and saw her on a cot, passed out. I moved over to check on her, remembering that she'd likely suffered a concussion. Her vitals were fine, though, so I just pulled a blanket up over her and left her alone.

"Lee."

I turned to find Bert Robinson standing in the doorway, gesturing me out with curling fingers. I gave her a report on the two injured Girls, then -- catching her glancing to the sleeping Claire -- blushed horribly at the memory of what the two of us had done earlier in the shower.

"And what about her?" Bert asked.

"She needs to remain in the infirmary for a few days, Commander," I responded, looking to Claire as I spoke. "She suffered a concussion -- she tossed a grenade but obviously not far enough away -- but my biggest concern is ... well, the little stuff. Lice, possibly ring worm ... skin lesions ... your normal living in the streets kind of stuff."

"Is she worth it?"

I looked to Bert with a confused look. "I don't understand, Commander."

"Is she worth saving, if that's the word?" Bert asked. "What do we get for our investment? You know the rules of the Community: You get if you give. What can she give? What does she have to offer?"

I looked back to Claire, studying her for a moment. I knew what she had to offer me: nightly of endless euphoria, assuming of course that I could get her away from Jia Ling. But what did she have to offer the Community? She'd been a sex slave. Sex for compensation wasn't against the rules in the Community or in the GWG either, of course. Hell, if it was, Jia Ling would have been one lonely, horny little bunny.

But I wasn't about to offer that suggestion to Bert. I didn't honestly know what to say, so I lied. "She's good with weapons, Commander. Use of them ... maintenance, too. I could use her in the Weapons Locker once she's better."

Bert studied Claire for a moment, then okayed the idea. "Put her to work in the Community, too. Weapons isn't going to be enough. She'll need to do more."

"Yes, Commander."

Bert turned to leave but only got a step before she stopped, backed up, and said to me, "Sergeant Ling says you were forced to use a significant quantity of her personal medical supplies on this..."

"Claire," I completed. "And yes."

Bert meets my gaze and simply looks into my eyes for a moment. She knows Jia's fondness for new meat, and while Bert herself isn't the type to partake of other women, she understands the need to keep First Squad's leader happy. Bert has in the past been solely responsible -- directly or indirectly -- for 30-50% of the supplies that came into the Community. So, if Jia wants this new girl on her knees between her parted thighs, that is what Jia is going to get.

"You'll see that this Claire compensates the Sergeant appropriately?"

Mona looks back to Claire, more to hide her second blush than any other reason. Appropriately. There is nothing appropriate about making Claire whore herself to Jia Ling for some antibiotics and skin cream. But I answer, "Yes, Commander. Debts will be paid."

As the new day breaks I get woken up to the sounds of metal on metal and someone speaking. The bedding feels odd and I jump out of the cot believing I had been captured again... No. I look out with wild eyes and my hand where I'd typically placed my knife at night only to find two women performing their daily tasks and suddenly very put off by my intrusion.

"Uh... Sorry. Bad dreams and all. Is uh..."

"There's daily rations next to your cot... Under it now but they're still good. Don't jump at people like that either. We have enough going on these days."

It was the first woman, closest to me as the other went back to her typical routine. I assumed it was typical. She wasn't rushing her around and she knew exactly what to do. The nearest one had a name tag on her uniform that said Martinez and she had this block style buzzcut that made me feel like I was in one of my dad's old military movies.

"Thanks. Is Mona still here?"

"She's on a mission with the first. I'm Anna and that's Destiny, we're with the support element and today we drew infirmary duty."

"Claire. They brought me in yesterday."

"Oh we know. Everyone's been talking about you. Too damn dumb to get away from her own grenade and then cost us Ling's meds. It's not just about killing the bastards anymore Claire."

"I'm sorry about all of that. Is there any way I can help? I hate the idea of being in someone's debt."

"You can eat and get healthy. The debt you owe is to Ling and I'm not dumb enough to get in her way."

"Right... Thanks."

Anna was pretty gruff at first yet she was very sensitive and gentle as she worked with the two women brought in before. That's how I recognized her, she was helping save these two the night before. As they went about there day to day routine I would idly pick at the food rations they'd brought me and jump up if anyone asked for anything. I had to make these people see me as worth keeping because I couldn't go back to the outside. At the very least I wanted to see Mona again.

I am returning to one of the hidden entrances that access the GWG's bunker when I hear, "When's my girl going to be ready to pay her debt?"

I turn to find Jia Ling standing just inches behind me, looking up into my eyes from her slightly shorter height with the determination and confidence of a woman much taller and bulkier. Ironically, despite being the GWG's hand to hand combat trainer, I doubt that I could take the little Asian. The little girl can kick ass. I've seen it on a number of occasions.

"A couple of days," I respond, clenching my jaws after the last word escapes through them. When Jia asks what the hold up is, I tell her, "Hey, if you want lice, I'll send Claire to you tonight."

Jia stares into my eyes, unsure of whether I'm telling the truth about Claire's ailment or just fucking with her. As she pushes past me, she says with authority, "Two days ... Corporal."

I mumble Bitch under my breath, then head for my quarters to get out of my gear. Once stripped out of my weapons, day pack, and body armor, I feel so light and free. I wasn't meant to be a soldier. I'm good at it, but it wasn't the career direction of which I'd dreamed as a little girl. I head for the communal showers, strip away my sweaty, muddy clothes -- it rained on us, and our trek through the park included a slide down a slippery, muddy slope -- then ... simply stand below the hot water and...

...and fantasize about Claire.

I am at a loss about what do about the girl. I haven't been able to get our shower encounter out of my mind. The passion. The euphoria. The ... wickedness. I grew up in conservative households, first in Colorado, then here in California. And despite the decades old tradition of San Francisco being friendly to the gay and lesbian movement, those thoughts and lessons weren't part of the upbringing in my Aunt's home.

Aunt Margie had been horrified when I'd agreed, at just 15, to become the consort of a local militia leader to protect our family. And yet, someone, I think she would be simply appalled to find out that yesterday a woman had driven me to orgasm by groping my breasts and suckling, pinching, and biting my nipples.

I so want to slip my hand down between my thighs and drive myself to a Claire-inspired orgasm, but as I glance about myself, I find three other Girls within view, dealing with their own hygiene issues. An often reoccurring thought comes to me, the knowledge that never in my life have I had my own bathroom. It hadn't been a problem with I was a little girl or even when I was a teen consort. But after I joined the GWG and -- as part of the pledge -- swore off men, I suddenly realized that the privacy of a shower at times like this would have been really nice.

As I am about to say to myself Guess I'll just be messing up my sheets instead, I think about Claire again. Yesterday, as she was driving me toward climax, my mind was filled with thoughts of how we would be doing such incredible things again and again in the future. I'd had no doubt that -- despite Jia Ling -- Claire and I would become lasting lovers.

But that had been the passion and lust and need talking. Now, after a day of sneaking around the City on a trade mission, getting shot at and chased, and -- I'm certain of it -- putting a bullet through the head of a militia man who just couldn't back off, I had a clearer picture of who I was, and who I should be.

You can't be spending your nights in bed with another woman, I tell myself as I dry off and don a set of tight fitting bra and panties. I remind myself, Not just a woman ... ANY one! You're a warrior ... a warrioress ... an Amazon ... you're a Girl with a gun, and you have to stay hard and mean and keep your mind in the game ... and you can't do that with a woman between your thighs, driving you to ... to...

I clenched my jaws and chastised myself in my mind, letting slip, "Fuck!"

A laugh nearby catches my attention, and I turn to find Anna Martinez entering the shower room and beginning to strip. "That's a huge word for only four letters, Mona. Don't hear that from you often. What's wrong?"

I look away from her and continue dressing as I answer, "Nothing. Just another hard day at the office."

Anna laughs. "The office, huh? That world's kind of dead and gone isn't it? You know, I actually was a secretary once ... in my teens, for my father's office."

She continues onward with her tale, but I'm not really listening until I hear a familiar name spoken. I turn and ask with surprise, "What...? What did you say?"

"Claire is in your quarters," Anna says, competing her strip down and heading for the shower. Her tone is casual, and I can't tell whether she doesn't know about what happened between the brunette and I or simply doesn't care. "We got a batch of clean sheets from Services, and she needed something to do, so I put her to cleaning your quarters." Anna laughed loud, adding, "My God, girl, you are a pig, you know that?"

It's true. I never enjoyed housework, not as a child in Denver or a young teen in San Francisco. As a consort in my later teens, cleaning wasn't high on my list of duties, obviously. So now, here in the bunker, I wasn't exactly Martha Stewart.

"Oh!" Anna called from under the streaming water, "And we dealt with Claire's lice issue. Destiny spent a couple of hours combing through your girl's hair. We'll need to repeat it in three days. Destiny even gave her a neat little trim ... not much, just the ends. Looks cute now. Not that Jia'll care, looking down on Claire's head between her thighs."

I glance hard at Anna at her last words, but the bitch's head is already under the streaming water, eyes closed as she enjoyed the warm flood. I finish dressing and head for my quarters, stopping short of the closed door. I don't know what to do. I want to get naked with Claire so badly and spend the night screaming in ecstasy. But I also know that doing so will change things, many things.

I draw and release a deep breath, and decide to just go in and ... and just see where fate takes us...

After Anna and Destiny had finished their daily duties they mumbled to one another and I saw what looked like a coin tossed between the two of them. With a grin threatening to break her face Destiny came to my cot with a very fine toothed comb in hand. She settled behind me and pulled me close so she could view my scalp as she combed through and picked various crawlers away with her forceps. I couldn't figure what made her so happy to do this until I saw Anna was changing the bandages on the burned woman from the night before.

"We used a less reliable jelly on her skin to help retain body heat. Typically we'd change her bandages every few days but we aren't sure how often with this new stuff. So we're going with daily until things change. I would've made you do it, new meat, but I would be very upset if you caused that woman anymore pain."

"I OH! see. How'd you OUCH! get so OW! good with medicine?"

"Honestly it was experience, a lot of making mistakes and learning from them. Speaking of mistakes, when's the last time you brushed this hair? It's like a lion's mane."

"Not for a while. No one was willing to waste a life running out for beauty products."

Destiny was a quiet worker but I attributed that to my presence. A new girl who has cost them valuable supplies isn't the most popular person to know. I was exceptionally quiet considering the race difference between us. While the modern world shook off it's prejudices the post-collapse world embraced them. Prior to leaving LA most of the associated gangs and militias were preaching ethnic cleansing and the last thing I wanted to test these two when the only friend I had was out and about getting shot at.

After what seemed like forever Destiny began attacking my tangles with a hair comb and idly snipping with a pair of scissors. I never paid much attention to my hair, in fact I hated it sometimes because of how convenient people found it. Pull me down, pull me up, drag me across the floor, etc... Yet I let her go about her business and after she was done the hair that had reached down my entire back was just below my shoulders and it looked... amazing.

"Oh, wow. I... thank you. You didn't have to do that."

"Actually I did. Sergeant Ling likes her new girls to look their best so she can make them their worst. She made sure to ask I give you a decent trim and check to see if Mona was telling the truth about the lice."

Staring at her blankly, my eyes unfocused and far off as the memories came to light. Back in the beginning I remember my oldest sister asking me to help her braid her hair before she was taken to the neighbor's house again. She was their biggest draw and she liked to have her hair manageable before a performance. I deluded myself into believing she was a star on a big stage doing a dance routine for the television. Not a mass of perverts and murderers.

Anna was coming over and she saw the effect Destiny's words were having and the last thing the butch wanted was a weeping girl on her hands. Shoving a small box of old bandages into my arms she told me to drop them off and pick up new sheets down the hall.

"Room 11-H belongs to the medic from the first and she's not in. Change the sheets and tidy the place up. See if the Services office has a spare room available for you. Have someone check you for lice in three days to make sure the larvae are gone."

Following the hallways wasn't the easiest because anyone I tried to speak to wouldn't acknowledge me or simply brushed me off with a growl or a scathing look. Finally finding the office took ages and they took the bandages to clean but told me the rooms were spoken for.

"This level is only for GWG members and the outside is for people we let stay here. Once the Commander says if you stay or go you can get a room here or a tent for outside. If you choose to leave we'll take the tent back and show you the door."

With that I crossed my arms over the fresh sheets and power walked down the halls to avoid further confrontations with the seemingly more emboldened women lurking about.

"Freshie." "Ling's newest recruit." "Hot menu." "Ditzy bitch." Were the insults I could actually hear. The inside of room 11-H was a sanctuary because it was small and no one was in there to attack me further.

The sheets smell like rain in the spring time, they must have some kind of detergent here. Neatly tucking them onto the mattress and balling up the old ones I begin trying to find my way around the room. Whoever the First's medic is, they're not one for tidiness. I have the dirty laundry sufficiently piled in one corner and I'm folding the clean laundry as the door slowly opens and I brace myself for more attacks.

"Hi..."

"Mona? Thank God. I thought I was gonna have to slug it out with that redhead who speaks with a lisp."

She was starring at me with this expression of bewilderment and it was kind of startling. No one looks at me like that and I kinda like it.

"Is it the hair? Destiny did a good job, I'll have to thank her sometime."

"Hi..."

Click to expand...

...I say, not sure why I'm showing surprise. I knew Claire was waiting for me, but... I know what it is: it's my uncertainty of what I'm going to do with Claire.

"Mona? Thank God. I thought I was gonna have to slug it out with that redhead who speaks with a lisp."

Click to expand...

I must have looked confused -- bewildered would have been Claire's word -- because I don't understand why Claire is surprised to find me entering my own quarters. I have no idea that they sent her here only explaining that the room belongs to First Squad's medic, and not me by name.

"Is it the hair? Destiny did a good job, I'll have to thank her sometime."

Click to expand...

I study her for a moment, then move slowly toward her, letting my gaze move about her new do. I smile. "It looks great. Who knew there was a beautiful woman hiding under all that tangle and dirt, huh?"

I chuckle as I stop within reach of Claire. Within reach. And reach I want. I want to reach out, grasp her by the arms, pull her to me, and kiss her passionately. But...

"Listen ... Claire ... about yesterday." I'm hesitant not because I don't know how to explain how I feel or about any decision that I've made, but because I honestly don't know how I feel nor have I made any decisions...

(OOC: I'm stopping there, just in case Claire had an interjection. I'm going outside to work on my rose garden, and I will only have my phone which is only good for short posts. Feel free to post one or two lines for a while if you want, as I will be doing the same for the next couple of hours. )

"Yeah, I figured we would have this talk... I know it was odd for you. And for me too. I thought I was dead and suddenly I'm alive and I wanted to hold onto that feeling with balled fists and cries of rage. You just happened to be the way I found to keep it going..."

Would she buy it? I'm a crappy liar but I kinda want her to know that. Despite everything I want Mona to realize I'm giving her an out because I think it's what she wants.

She's all smiles and there's this adorable innocence surrounding her. It's ridiculous because I know she killed people to save me and I know she'll kill people again. Hell she decided to join me in the shower despite lice, parasites, a concussion and the fact I lost my mind when I first woke up. I must've looked like a very fluffy, tattered Chihuahua dog. Yet she and I shared some deeply seated intimacy so this women clearly has a freaky side underneath it all.

"My head is doing a lot better. I only had the one dizzy episode earlier which is good, right?"

Yes, change the subject. Move on. Let Mona see what she needs to see so you can both go back to being sexually frustrated and misunderstood.

Oh fuck it. She's so close I can't help myself. I need one last bit before... FUCK.

I grab her hand that she's set on the little counter top between us and pull her in. Well I pull myself to her mostly. It was a very uncoordinated pull and push but I still get right in there and kiss her. Then I pull away. Getting shot at and threatened with rape is easy. Being rejected by someone who saved your life suddenly seems this impossible task.

"I am so sorry..."