SMasterJack
Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2008
- Posts
- 52
Hi there to the BDSM folks out there,
I am sure that this post will invite a lot of ridicule and unwelcome comments but I've decided to ask for advice from people who are or might have been in the same boat as me.
The thing is that I am unhappily married in a Vanilla marriage. Its been about an year and half of married life and I am sure I am not a vanilla person although my wife is one. There is a big mismatch between her and mine sexual needs -- she has a normal sex drive but only wishes to quench it through vanilla sex and that is as vanilla as you can get. She is satisfied with sex in a missionary position and has big trouble adjusting to even variations of the vanilla lovemaking paradigm and there isn't even a blowjob on offer. Me, on the other hand can't get off unless its something to do with the girl being a submissive, letting me fuck her face when I want. It has reached a point where I can't cum anymore during sex. However, with throatfucking or unconsensual consensual porn, I orgasm very well.
My marriage was based on the fact that at the time, I was a loser and caved in for something I knew I did not want. I have moved on to a much better place since then, gotten fit and now attending one of the top universities in the world. I am sure to start with a six figure salary in a couple of years and will be shortly in a position where I could get in the local BDSM scene which is quite happening.
Now the question is do I break off the marriage based on this mismatch of sexual interests? The girl in question is innocent and has quit her job to move with me to a new country and is very family and friends dependent kind of person, so she has left that support network behind as well. I would feel like a dick to ditch her. She tries hard to satisfy me sexually in a vanilla way which is not even close to what I want. I have tried to discuss this with her and introduce her to the BDSM world but the B of BDSM is scary enough for her.
So the choice that I see is that of living a sexually repressed life which is making me sick and depressed due to my exceedingly high sex drive and that of being a total dick and fucking up her life. She does not consent to an open marriage or sexual liberty and could even be in love with me genuinely. I will also get in trouble with the law, if she contests it with a false charge (her father being a big shot).
I am no longer able to concentrate on important things and the sexual repression is really overpowering the other aspects of my personality. Its like a Gay/Lesbian person married to the opposite gender.
Any advice?
Thanks for reading it and would appreciate your 2 cents.
I am sure that this post will invite a lot of ridicule and unwelcome comments but I've decided to ask for advice from people who are or might have been in the same boat as me.
The thing is that I am unhappily married in a Vanilla marriage. Its been about an year and half of married life and I am sure I am not a vanilla person although my wife is one. There is a big mismatch between her and mine sexual needs -- she has a normal sex drive but only wishes to quench it through vanilla sex and that is as vanilla as you can get. She is satisfied with sex in a missionary position and has big trouble adjusting to even variations of the vanilla lovemaking paradigm and there isn't even a blowjob on offer. Me, on the other hand can't get off unless its something to do with the girl being a submissive, letting me fuck her face when I want. It has reached a point where I can't cum anymore during sex. However, with throatfucking or unconsensual consensual porn, I orgasm very well.
My marriage was based on the fact that at the time, I was a loser and caved in for something I knew I did not want. I have moved on to a much better place since then, gotten fit and now attending one of the top universities in the world. I am sure to start with a six figure salary in a couple of years and will be shortly in a position where I could get in the local BDSM scene which is quite happening.
Now the question is do I break off the marriage based on this mismatch of sexual interests? The girl in question is innocent and has quit her job to move with me to a new country and is very family and friends dependent kind of person, so she has left that support network behind as well. I would feel like a dick to ditch her. She tries hard to satisfy me sexually in a vanilla way which is not even close to what I want. I have tried to discuss this with her and introduce her to the BDSM world but the B of BDSM is scary enough for her.
So the choice that I see is that of living a sexually repressed life which is making me sick and depressed due to my exceedingly high sex drive and that of being a total dick and fucking up her life. She does not consent to an open marriage or sexual liberty and could even be in love with me genuinely. I will also get in trouble with the law, if she contests it with a false charge (her father being a big shot).
I am no longer able to concentrate on important things and the sexual repression is really overpowering the other aspects of my personality. Its like a Gay/Lesbian person married to the opposite gender.
Any advice?
Thanks for reading it and would appreciate your 2 cents.