How do you like to hurt?

A bit of both

I love the physical acts, so long as there is no perm damage. As far as emotional pain...I enjoy a bit of humiliation - call me names, make me dress up (cosplay), make me strip for you, crawl, suck and fuck in public. I enjoy it all. As to why...idk, perhaps it is bc I was exposed to sexual images of this nature at an early age. Also, my first sexual experiences were with a dom perhaps I was trained. I just love it.

Love physical pain, no permanent marks. I like humiliation, degradation in a private setting, call me names, order me to do stuff.

Rough and Tough




I love physical pain, but if you want to give it, you better bring it...





I'm not one just to bend over a knee and take it willingly. No way in hell baby. You want it...? Come and claim it.





I grew up around a lot of boys so I'm very reactive. If someone slaps me, I'll slap them back even harder.





I love my pussy being bitten, but by gosh, it takes all my will not to slap the guy on the head - it's just a jerk reaction. And I can't be serious when pain is given to me - I giggle and squirm and beg for more.





I don't think many Doms can take the pain they dish out, that's why at the moment Switches are exciting me. They seem to be more playful and can handle it when the girl as the upperhand.





There is nothing like a guy huffing and puffing, rosy-cheeked and (maybe) bleeding from trying to get what he wants.

But it is all fun and games to fuel the passion.







It might be rough and tough but in the end we're all friends...

RacyWilde said:

[..]

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Um.
What film?

Consilience said:

Um.
What film?

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Mr and Mrs Smith

I meet up with a masochist when wife is working late hours

If I choose to submit and be hurt (which is more rare these days than I'd like) I want it all.

I want to be bruised physically and emotionally. I want my ass and my mind whipped into submission. I want to be called slut while my nipples are being squeezed. I want my face slapped while I'm being told I'm useless. Put me in front of a window naked and let the world outside know I'm a whore. To me the physical pain is a test of power against my Dom to see how much I can take...but the emotional pain is a test of will. Overcoming the pain of some bruises and welts is easy but learning to deal with being made to feel completely useless and worthless (or learning to accept it in the situation) is what truly makes me feel submissive.

Problem is I can't find the right chemistry to make it happen at the moment.

biseattlegirl said:

If I choose to submit and be hurt (which is more rare these days than I'd like) I want it all.

I want to be bruised physically and emotionally. I want my ass and my mind whipped into submission. I want to be called slut while my nipples are being squeezed. I want my face slapped while I'm being told I'm useless. Put me in front of a window naked and let the world outside know I'm a whore. To me the physical pain is a test of power against my Dom to see how much I can take...but the emotional pain is a test of will. Overcoming the pain of some bruises and welts is easy but learning to deal with being made to feel completely useless and worthless (or learning to accept it in the situation) is what truly makes me feel submissive.

Problem is I can't find the right chemistry to make it happen at the moment.

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This is a fine piece of erotic poetry! So strong, powerful and sensual!

I think this is exactly how a sub should be for me, but it's very rare to find.

biseattlegirl said:

If I choose to submit and be hurt (which is more rare these days than I'd like) I want it all.

I want to be bruised physically and emotionally. I want my ass and my mind whipped into submission. I want to be called slut while my nipples are being squeezed. I want my face slapped while I'm being told I'm useless. Put me in front of a window naked and let the world outside know I'm a whore. To me the physical pain is a test of power against my Dom to see how much I can take...but the emotional pain is a test of will. Overcoming the pain of some bruises and welts is easy but learning to deal with being made to feel completely useless and worthless (or learning to accept it in the situation) is what truly makes me feel submissive.

Problem is I can't find the right chemistry to make it happen at the moment.

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Self administration?


I had similar desires and problems. With assistance from an online friend, I discovered a whole world of self inflicted pain, culminating in massive orgasms and tender parts the following day.

Physical Pain

I like to cane

biseattlegirl said:

If I choose to submit and be hurt (which is more rare these days than I'd like) I want it all.

I want to be bruised physically and emotionally. I want my ass and my mind whipped into submission. I want to be called slut while my nipples are being squeezed. I want my face slapped while I'm being told I'm useless. Put me in front of a window naked and let the world outside know I'm a whore. To me the physical pain is a test of power against my Dom to see how much I can take...but the emotional pain is a test of will. Overcoming the pain of some bruises and welts is easy but learning to deal with being made to feel completely useless and worthless (or learning to accept it in the situation) is what truly makes me feel submissive.

Problem is I can't find the right chemistry to make it happen at the moment.

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to me degredation touches somewhere deep

I love the physical. However, I also love humiliation and degradation, being verbally abused in the moment, to me it takes in a different meaning when done in the sexual situation and I do not take it to afterwards and I do not the emotional aspect of it to find my pleasure or for my partner to find theirs and I need to trust in my partner that it will not be brought beyond the bedroom.

It's actually impossible for emotion to be absent. Did a stranger hurt me? Taking it personally in the bad way. Did someone closer give me use just the "right touch"? Taking it personally in a good way, even if they hurt me. Am I hurting myself? Depends how I'm feeling about myself at the time. The "emotional connection" is what makes or breaks it. Even if the pain hurts in the bad way that doesn't mean it has to get in the way of what is good. Perhaps it might even enhance it.

Wherever I'm a masochist or not is a bit tricky. I don't "enjoy" or get off from pain. But I do consider the "bad" in each of us necessarily and something to be accepted. So I accept it in others as much as myself. To explain this I'll need to go over my past somewhat. To provide an idea and give some context to it all. It's personal but that just means there's reasons for it. And reasons matter. Might provide insight for others.

I used to get hurt in only the bad way. Emotionally and verbally abused. Comes from an angry, spiteful ex. Code black things happened. Someone even died that she sent my way. Suicide and all. She heard the shot to boot. I wasn't even supposed to know about that.

So picture this. This ex I mentioned told me she wanted to stick me with knives 'till I squeal. This is back before I saw more of an appeal in "the bad of things". So much anger and hate. I was never one to let things get to me when I care about the company. All that anger, I knew it came from fear. Being told she didn't want me around her.

So I just squealed when she mentioned that. Well not actually squealing but a dark joke, you know. Was told to shut up and she let me be around her again. Frostily, yes. But there.

One Christmas eve I was in a bad way. Let her know how sorry I was about things and all. Come Christmas day I woke up with her next to me. And all because of that looking past that hostility. She ended up changing completely. Turned over a new leaf, avoided toxic people. Perhaps because someone was there for her no matter how "bad" she got. Get the idea yet?

But it's not just extreme cases like this. It happens all the time. People try to rub me the wrong way and I don't let it get to me. Somehow this sometimes ends up getting closer. Not only that not sparing feelings works wonders when you use logic and state the truth for what it is. There is such a thing as being too nice. Especially if you act like it's what's best for others. It's the old saying of "I'm mean because I care". The people that hurt us... They are the ones that can care the most. I know this all too well. In more ways then I've gone over.

Then one day I got cosy with someone by a fire. Rubbed each other the wrong way at first. Got past it and got closer somehow. Ran off with her drink and had a knife by my head for it (she kinda caught up and knows karate). My line of thinking at the time was "Better kiss her to ease the tension". Which worked. We fight as much as flirt. At once mostly. Being harsh, verbally or physically can have a way of bringing people closer. Fighting in itself is another language of sorts. Only it's not "Sparring" in this case (though that too applies). Kind of got the whole "Cruel yet caring" thing going on. The kind that people think is a fantasy when it's not. And I'm thinking "Finally, someone that isn't afraid to hurt me and think it will drive us apart". If anything it brings us closer.

I also talked someone else into getting more harmful with me. Despite having been quite soft themselves. They weren't into it at first but got more into it later. "It's best for me" logic helps. Along with "It's how you treat me, not others." It's important to note the difference between how it is received. eg: To make me happy in the long term even if it's a short term ouchy (Maybe not the best example, but point stands). If possible even provide examples. The flat blade of a knife ran slowly along a chest as sweet affections are whispered into the ear. I enjoy the suspense more then anything. Walking on the fine edge of a blade, paying for it if I slip up. In that regard it's a game of sorts. "How to stay in line" and "How much can I get away with. Is it worth finding out?" Ironically I spent my whole past being afraid and am now into fearplay. Knowing the negatives helps with being positive about it. There's the depression type of fear that leads to "Oh shit, did I hurt them". And then there's the more healthy type that's more along the lines of "I'm so going to pay for being a brat" or something (again, not the best example).

It also helps to state that even "good" things can be bad for someone. Even a hug can be harmful. If no one cares enough to "hurt" you when you yourself know it's what you need from someone and no one cares enough to do it... It's no different then no one giving you a hug in that regard. You can hug/stab yourself but that shit is lonely. Someone has to care enough to do it. Fortunately I never been one for "me" things, otherwise I might have been a cutter. Need closer company to enjoy things with. Not just "bad" things but good too. Anything really. All the good and bad of everything would be meaningless otherwise.

Pain is a part of who we are. The "fun" kind and the serious/depressing kind. People often focus on the "good" yet how many will be there for you throughout the bad? In that light perhaps what I crave the most is someone being there and still being close to me no matter how "bad" things get. Though I also make the most of the "good" as well of course. Balance and all. Focusing on just the good leads to things like happy masks which lead to depression. Seen it far too often. Focusing only on good leads to negative bad. To no longer caring. I seen it, I know it myself. Doesn't mean one should wallow in self pity though. Every coin, every person has two sides. Accept others as you would accept yourself. Not treating others "the same" but knowing everyone is different. Doesn't mean I care for strangers (especially judgemental idiots that can't even see other peoples point of view). Just means everyone has a chance to show they're not a knowing better idiot like I once was. There's "bad" and then there's forcing yourself on others. Not physically or emotionally but also going "My normal viewpoint is the truth even if others see it differently". Got no respect for anyone like that. If even one person sees things differently then they see it their own way. Something a lot of people outside of Masochism (or even inside BDSM) don't even consider. What's "normal" isn't always what's "fitting". Even simply discussing different interests can get you what you want. As long as you take an interest in another persons interests. So don't let fear silence your tongue of talking about the matter just because it's "outside the box". I did it right off the bat on first meetings and here I am. Even if someone uses "It'll never happen" logic people can and will change their minds when presented with new logic and a closer company is formed.

Thing is people only often know of the negative ways of being harsh or hurt. The kind that leads to only one side of a coin. World's full of it and it sickens me. Too much judgement and knowing better attitudes. too much caring for strangers too (it's better for my mental health to focus only on closer company. Strangers only get a chance at that. Simple loyalty over morality). A positive form of being hurt can be a punishment. Harsher punishments discourage further misbehaviour. The fear alone can be enough. Which needs to be backed up with actions. A saying of mine is "If you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". This logic works both ways.

And that's about it. It's a fair amount to read but hopefully it's given some insight for someone at least. I don't do "This is an example for everyone" I'm afraid. No one size fits all and I have only my past experience to draw upon. Long story short consider why you might into the "bad" things you're into. There's likely reasons even if you don't know them. Took me years to figure it out.

A Desert Rose said:

Yes, you're on the right track.

Staying with someone who treats you with indifference, makes you constantly wonder if you matter at all... stuff like that. But when they come 'round again, your whole world lights up.

You sit on the edge waiting for the next time.

And when the next time happens, he canes and bites and beats you black and blue. And you tolerate it not because you like that kind of pain, because you don't, but because you're getting his attention again.

Does this mean anything to anyone besides me?

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I'm going to edit in a question here in a minute because this thread sent me for a loop last night. I literally haven't slept. My brain is on overdrive.

I know this thread isn't active anymore and SADLY BiBunny hasn't been on in a few months... So I'm just hoping someone will be able to give me insight.


Prior to reading this thread I NEVER would have identified as a massochist. Never. But this rings *so* true for me. Here is the question though: being submissive makes me feel GOOD about me. This sure as heck doesn't.
I 100% understand that "makes you wonder if you matter at all, but then when he turns round it makes your WORLD." ...the up is almost manically up. The down is **terrible**. Yet I do keep going back to that dynamic. Up till now it was not conscious.

Is this that I am an emotional massochist or that that is what happens when I'm with someone who doesn't understand my nature and they just don't understand how I work? I always assumed it was due to my partner ( not my Dom) didn't understand how Hus emotional indifference was torture to me. But yes, I've always found myself in this dynamic.

Wow just found this thread. really want to read so just posting now for a subscription.
Might have more to say later.

Uggg

hi

vidmin said:

Love physical pain, no permanent marks. I like humiliation, degradation in a private setting, call me names, order me to do stuff.

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Those are my words too.Caning on bare bottom to motivate for anal sex while tipsy

Spankings

I love deep hard spankings with a hard paddle. Hard with increasing harsher blows as my tolerance grows. Deep spankings that make is sore to sit for two or three days. The tenderness of my ass reminding me of the high that I get from a really good spanking. I also like the blows that leave my skin bruised and marked for days as a badge of my punishment.
Sometimes I like to have by breasts squeezed as hard as my husband can squeeze. Both hands squeezing and crushing. Then enjoying the feeling over the week that follows as I feel the tenderness as I put on a bra or brush against something. I really love to feel the sore tenderness as I crush my chest against a friend, male or female, as we hug hello or goodbye. Me feeling the deep bruise and them not having a clue as to what kinky play I have been involved in.

Clementine69 said:

It’s funny because physical pain brings out the feisty side of me..and I want to fight back...hard. I love bruises, and find rubbing them in public to be so erotic...my little secret. But I love a good wrestling match . Ill sit still and take any and all punishment (of funishment). Though I tend to be a bit of a brat...

On the flip side, emotional degradation and “abuse” brings out the wounded child in me...pulls things to the surface. Forces me to look at them, deal with them...actually “feel.” I desire the emotional pain more than anything. I cant fight back...have no desire to actually. When someone is degrading me, I feel like it is forcing my insides and my outsides to come together and “match.” If that makes sense. I know I’m not hideous to look at, but inside I feel that way. It’s a way for me to move forward. So I’m so incredibly thankful when someone is willing to do that for me, because I know it cant be easy.

Physical play is fun, and is left in the bedroom, those bruises can be hidden and are often really enjoyable...Emotional play is carried outside, and takes a while for those bruises to disappear.

I’m rambling. I hope I made a little sense?

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Hiya Clementine,
I'm coming out from under my rock to tell you that yes, it makes a lot of sense. If you read back through the first few pages quite a few of the responses might ring true for you. I'm an uncomfortable emotional masochist, but it takes a lot to get to that point in the relationship. Once someone is past my walls and then can point our my inconsistencies and my issues enough to force me to face them, and then go the extra mile to help me address them... that is my kryptonite.
As for physical bruises I agree, they are a fun little secret, but for me the how they get there is all the difference.

Cheers,
Angie (previously angedesoleil ^up there)

ball pain...both from physical beating as well as the deep ache of denial and blueballs

I am in the mood

Today I am really feeling the urge for a deep, thumping, paddling with a broad leather strap. I want it to hurt sooo deep and to be able to feel it for days. I am already making plans for tonight.

A Desert Rose said:

A short exchange with someone today prompted me to think about this:

Assuming that you are a masochist, what kind are you? A physical or emotional one? Or a combination of the two? Why do you think so? Do you think you can seperate the two? Or do you need to be one, in order to be the other? Do you think that your history has anything to do with your choices or masochistic bent, again assuming you are a masochist?

On the other side of the coin: You call and toss it.

This is bathroom thinking for me. I'll be in the shower giving this a great deal of thought.

Hold all my calls, please.

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I don't think this is the way we should address this issue - but here is not the place to do it!

I am somewhat of a masochist. I love being restrained, gagged and flogged. Love clamps on my nipples. I need a sadist that can cane me for punishments. Ive done the emotional pain and it doesn't work for me.
Name calling and humiliation is one thing, but emitional pain is another....

Tonight

Tonight, I want it to be deep and hard and lingering so I feel it for the next couple of days and so I can see the marks for a few days longer.

Desiree1 said:

Pain? No thanks. Tingles, throbs, tight muscles, yes, absolutely. But pain itself, not for me

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Pain is a bit of an acquired taste for many people. But once acquired the hunger just keeps growing.