Conversation

I wonder how many people avoid attempting to start a conversation because they fear they will be rejected. Or how many wont move on with a conversation because they fear it will turn into more than that.
 
There are some really good people here that can be a lot of fun to talk to, not just about the site, but about life and basic stuff. People need to take a chance, to look around. You never know what you will find.
 
Wow! Time does fly doesn't it? I had no idea it had been so long since I put a few words up on the thread. Thoughts of conversations hit me today, how simple it can be to start one at the same time how difficult it can be as well. Simply wondering if the wrong word can turn on you or the right word can open a world of friendships.

Be open about yourself, be true, be honest, have fun, relax. I guess simple is the way to go.

Enjoy everyone :)
 
Good morning. As I scanned thru this thread, it is astonishing to me the number of people that have the same thoughts and feelings and are reluctant to take the next step. Myself included. It is the commitment that we all resist. Taking the step of actually connecting with someone is a commitment in our minds that we HAVE to then cultivate and maintain. In other words, we make it as if it was "work". It's not. Its just talking. The difficulty we create is just that....something we create in our heads..

I love to chat. I am open to any of you breaking past my resistance and engaging with me in conversation. Once I get going I'm pretty interesting I think..LOL
 
Good morning. As I scanned thru this thread, it is astonishing to me the number of people that have the same thoughts and feelings and are reluctant to take the next step. Myself included. It is the commitment that we all resist. Taking the step of actually connecting with someone is a commitment in our minds that we HAVE to then cultivate and maintain. In other words, we make it as if it was "work". It's not. Its just talking. The difficulty we create is just that....something we create in our heads..

I love to chat. I am open to any of you breaking past my resistance and engaging with me in conversation. Once I get going I'm pretty interesting I think..LOL

It is a common battle that one rages within their own mind isn't it? As you stated with yourself included. To take that step, that risk I guess, such a simple and difficult thing at the same time. I think we over think what will happen, a rejection? An insult? A tirade of unacceptable words? It is all okay, if you don't risk getting to know people you do not give yourself the chance to meet the fun and exciting ones.
 
Good morning. As I scanned thru this thread, it is astonishing to me the number of people that have the same thoughts and feelings and are reluctant to take the next step. Myself included. It is the commitment that we all resist. Taking the step of actually connecting with someone is a commitment in our minds that we HAVE to then cultivate and maintain. In other words, we make it as if it was "work". It's not. Its just talking. The difficulty we create is just that....something we create in our heads..

I love to chat. I am open to any of you breaking past my resistance and engaging with me in conversation. Once I get going I'm pretty interesting I think..LOL

Afternoon guys,

Your last paragraph struck a chord with me.

I tend to respond to posts in a big way, I can ramble on rather than just say 'yes'. The same with when I send a pm to someone, I go all in! I get the odd response, and nearly all of them are oblique one word sentences. I understand the need for caution from some people, but where does the caution end? Five messages, ten messages.

I raise this as further up here the mention of the chat not going the way you want or the risk of rejection in saying the wrong thing or worse abject scorn in the next message you receive.

It happens in messages as it does in the real world, and we all can cope as we are all adults.

I feel that sometimes people don't converse because of laziness. Why engage when the one sentence response can garner the other persons lengthy response, hit repeat and do it again. I do think laziness needs to be added to why people don't talk and share.

Rant over :D
 
Afternoon guys,

Your last paragraph struck a chord with me.

I tend to respond to posts in a big way, I can ramble on rather than just say 'yes'. The same with when I send a pm to someone, I go all in! I get the odd response, and nearly all of them are oblique one word sentences. I understand the need for caution from some people, but where does the caution end? Five messages, ten messages.

I raise this as further up here the mention of the chat not going the way you want or the risk of rejection in saying the wrong thing or worse abject scorn in the next message you receive.

It happens in messages as it does in the real world, and we all can cope as we are all adults.

I feel that sometimes people don't converse because of laziness. Why engage when the one sentence response can garner the other persons lengthy response, hit repeat and do it again. I do think laziness needs to be added to why people don't talk and share.

Rant over :D

It is interesting isn't it? Fear controls us like no other force.
 
Out of curiosity, how do you choose the people you attempt to have conversations with? What do you base your interest in them on, and are you choosing people who seem interested in conversations based on how they interact in the forums?

In my experience, choosing someone who's said something interesting, or funny, or has mentioned a shared interest often results in a nice conversation.

From some of the messages I've received, it seems that some don't put quite as much thought into who they approach.
 
Out of curiosity, how do you choose the people you attempt to have conversations with? What do you base your interest in them on, and are you choosing people who seem interested in conversations based on how they interact in the forums?

In my experience, choosing someone who's said something interesting, or funny, or has mentioned a shared interest often results in a nice conversation.

From some of the messages I've received, it seems that some don't put quite as much thought into who they approach.
I’ve messaged people at random, and will openly admit I’ve never had as much luck as when I really took the time to find someonethat I genuinely knew what I wanted to chat with them about, or something they said struck me.
 
Out of curiosity, how do you choose the people you attempt to have conversations with? What do you base your interest in them on, and are you choosing people who seem interested in conversations based on how they interact in the forums?

In my experience, choosing someone who's said something interesting, or funny, or has mentioned a shared interest often results in a nice conversation.

From some of the messages I've received, it seems that some don't put quite as much thought into who they approach.

Oddly enough the majority of my decent conversation that lasted a bit where messages I sent to them about a comment on the board I was on, letting them know what they said made me smile or laugh or something. It is odd how it works, like a needle in a haystack.
 
Out of curiosity, how do you choose the people you attempt to have conversations with? What do you base your interest in them on, and are you choosing people who seem interested in conversations based on how they interact in the forums?

In my experience, choosing someone who's said something interesting, or funny, or has mentioned a shared interest often results in a nice conversation.

From some of the messages I've received, it seems that some don't put quite as much thought into who they approach.


I will message anyone who on any particular thread has made me laugh or they have said something that I agree with...but....

I always do a little background work first, I will always look at past posts, how have they responded on there, what threads do they tend to visit. If I see alot of three word answers or the terrible "mmmm" answer I won't bother messaging them, I look for people who can maintain a full conversation rather than one person doing all the leg work. Seeing what threads people visit gives me a good indication if we have enough things in common to make it worth BOTH our time.

I don't always get a response but that is part of being on here and I won't loose any sleep over it, just shrug and move on with life.
 
I will message anyone who on any particular thread has made me laugh or they have said something that I agree with...but....

I always do a little background work first, I will always look at past posts, how have they responded on there, what threads do they tend to visit. If I see alot of three word answers or the terrible "mmmm" answer I won't bother messaging them, I look for people who can maintain a full conversation rather than one person doing all the leg work. Seeing what threads people visit gives me a good indication if we have enough things in common to make it worth BOTH our time.

I don't always get a response but that is part of being on here and I won't loose any sleep over it, just shrug and move on with life.

I think I forgot to put that part in my post, I do take a look at their previous postings to get a basic idea, as that helps to learn a little bit. I never send a message that says, "Hi, how are you?" there is not a good chance of a reply to that lol.

I never get upset when not receiving a response, hope for one do not expect everyone will do so.
 
Sexual vs. Non-sexual

I have a few p.m. correspondents and enjoy our conversation. All of them are women. Being frank: most of my p.m. exchanges turn sexual fairly quickly, but not all. I like to send relevant imagery with the p.m. as that seems to stimulate some repartee. About half of my p.m. lady friends initiated the conversation.

Now that I am thinking of it, it would be enjoyable to have nonsexual Lit p.m. conversations with another person, man or woman, and I should probably allow/make that happen.
 
Oddly enough the majority of my decent conversation that lasted a bit where messages I sent to them about a comment on the board I was on, letting them know what they said made me smile or laugh or something. It is odd how it works, like a needle in a haystack.

Hehe... I'm not sure it's very odd that people respond when you show an interest in something specific to them. ;)



I will message anyone who on any particular thread has made me laugh or they have said something that I agree with...but....

I always do a little background work first, I will always look at past posts, how have they responded on there, what threads do they tend to visit. If I see alot of three word answers or the terrible "mmmm" answer I won't bother messaging them, I look for people who can maintain a full conversation rather than one person doing all the leg work. Seeing what threads people visit gives me a good indication if we have enough things in common to make it worth BOTH our time.

I don't always get a response but that is part of being on here and I won't loose any sleep over it, just shrug and move on with life.

Your methods are like mine. There have been a time or two when I'll message someone based solely on a post or two they've made in a particular thread without doing a background search, but mostly I like to do a little peeking first. :)
 
I have a few p.m. correspondents and enjoy our conversation. All of them are women. Being frank: most of my p.m. exchanges turn sexual fairly quickly, but not all. I like to send relevant imagery with the p.m. as that seems to stimulate some repartee. About half of my p.m. lady friends initiated the conversation.

Now that I am thinking of it, it would be enjoyable to have nonsexual Lit p.m. conversations with another person, man or woman, and I should probably allow/make that happen.

I've had quite a few nonsexual conversations with people on Lit, probably to the disappointment of some who were hoping for a bit more than that. :D
 
Love talking with people about normal chit chat or sexual subjects. Not into cyber or online role play. I mainly chat on Hangouts or on here.

31 F U.S.
 
Love talking with people about normal chit chat or sexual subjects. Not into cyber or online role play. I mainly chat on Hangouts or on here.

31 F U.S.

Normal chit chat is a good thing, it is having someone to talk to that you can just vent, laugh, joke and be yourself with. I think it is sometime easier to open up to someone that you are not face to face with, you don't worry when they make a certain face expression or when they sift their body a certain way. It is just words on a screen flowing through your mind.
 
Normal chit chat is a good thing, it is having someone to talk to that you can just vent, laugh, joke and be yourself with. I think it is sometime easier to open up to someone that you are not face to face with, you don't worry when they make a certain face expression or when they sift their body a certain way. It is just words on a screen flowing through your mind.

I couldn't agree more. Well said!
 
With a site such as this one is there a pressure that people feel when starting or replying to a message, that the message has to turn to a conversation about sexual desires or cybering? Most of the conversations I have had have nothing to do with that, but does it impede people from talking?
 
Expectations

With a site such as this one is there a pressure that people feel when starting or replying to a message, that the message has to turn to a conversation about sexual desires or cybering? Most of the conversations I have had have nothing to do with that, but does it impede people from talking?

Personally, I would like a conversation like that. I do find that, when a chat arises, either in a Lit p.m. or a Lit Chat private conversation, that the lady wants to move into sexual cybering quite rapidly. In fact, if I do try to just be 'conversational', she will often push the talk into the sexual direction or complain that I did not!

Not putting the onus on the women; I am only too willing to indulge in whatever fantasy we are postulating, and often make the first move myself.

But my point is that the majority of people expect the sexual repartee.
 
Personally, I would like a conversation like that. I do find that, when a chat arises, either in a Lit p.m. or a Lit Chat private conversation, that the lady wants to move into sexual cybering quite rapidly. In fact, if I do try to just be 'conversational', she will often push the talk into the sexual direction or complain that I did not!

Not putting the onus on the women; I am only too willing to indulge in whatever fantasy we are postulating, and often make the first move myself.

But my point is that the majority of people expect the sexual repartee.

I think the expectation is there on a site like this. It is only natural to talk about sex in some way when meeting people here, but it does not have to go in that direction. I do think people can have a long conversation, one that spans months or years and never delve into the sex talk, I just think it is rare. I wonder how much that thought process, the one where it is thought the conversation will turn to sex quickly, makes people not attempt to have a conversation.
 
I agree 100%, its possible to not delve into sex, but its hard. I think part of it is the "mood" of people when they are actively browsing. Lit has lot of material and its bound to work up the body and mind when you browse it before or during a conversation.
 
My mind seems to default to serious and analytical.
But if someone starts with the double entendre I'll play along and usually someone gets completely confused after a while.
 
Ever hope to just talk to someone? Just sit back, type some words, send the message and a little bit later a reply pops up on your screen? A basic conversation or erotic, didn't matter. Do you find yourself just tapping through the forums thinking, yeah, would be nice to share some thoughts with someone here?
Yup, me too. I am a MWM, who writes some and loves talking to people, so, if you are in the same boat as I am, lets talk.


ummmmmm........... yes......... :D
 
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